Jinhai slightly stiffened. “What are you talking about?”
Nana silently stared at him for a while. “I mean…there was a couple outside my ward, and the wife was fighting with her husband because he hid the fact that his secretary also went on the business trip with him and she didn’t like that. She felt hurt and betrayed.”
Jinhai felt a little bit relieved. He chuckled. “Are you worried that I would do something like that? Don’t worry. Wherever I go, it’s always Xin with me. The secretaries are always in Liu Corps. You can rest assured.”
Nana said nothing.
“I mean not exactly along those lines, but are you hiding anything from me? It can be anything.”
A pang of guilt came in Jinhai’s heart. His heart was beating faster as he knew that he was lying to her. He silently clenched his fingers on his knee. He smiled on the outside but he slightly looked away from her questioning gaze.
“…Nothing, Nana. I am not hiding anything from you.”
Nana stared at him. It felt as if she was still waiting. But Jinhai’s stance made it clear.
“…I see. I’m tired. I will sleep for a while.”
Jinhai nodded. He bent and kissed her forehead. “I am here if you want anything.”
You didn’t give me what I wanted though Jinhai…
Jinhai switched off the lights.
Nana closed her eyes as she felt the darkness came just at the right moment to hide her face. Because from the corner of her eye, a tear slowly trickled down.
*Flashback*
After she met Jinhai and told him everything about what said to her, she was supposed to go to the banquet hall. But then she remembered that she left her purse behind in the room.
She didn’t want to go back, but it had those notes that she wanted to give it to the guests after the dinner was over. The twins, Jing and she had worked hard on them, so she didn’t want it to go to waste. She looked around, but she didn’t find any maid nearby to fetch it for her.
So she turned around.
But when Nana was at a little distance away from the room, she saw Jinhai suddenly come out of it and dragging Huian’s wheelchair in the opposite direction.
Nana was stunned to see that because the expression on Jinhai’s face was cold and grim and dangerous. One glance at him and Nana understood that Jinhai was very angry.
And she saw that Huian was also too terrified. It was the same fear with which she was talking about Jinhai the moment she came out of the coma.
Oh no…is Jinhai going to confront her for what she said? Or perhaps for that night?
Nana felt a bad feeling arise in her chest. She wanted him to let it go for now. Perhaps they could think about it later what to do.
“Jinh-“
She was about to call him, but he already went far ahead.
Nana had no choice. She slowly followed him and saw that he was taking her to the terrace.
Nana furrowed her brows in confusion.
Why terrace?
Nana climbed the stairs, and as she reached the door, her eyes widened in utter shock when she saw how Jinhai took Huian to the edge of the terrace and almost stumbled her wheelchair that it could fell if he didn’t keep his hold onto it.
Her mind went blank as she felt that an entirely different Jinhai was standing in front of her. There was this sort of madness in his gaze.
She heard Jinhai talking to Huian.
“Should I let go of this wheelchair just like how I let go of your hand that night?”
Nana froze.
She was in utter disbelief. She didn’t know what to make about it. Jinhai had a sinister smile on his face.
She thought back to how Huian said that Jinhai did everything for revenge.
So Jinhai had indeed pushed her off the balcony…Huian was telling the truth.
Nana felt conflicted at that moment. She knew Jinhai was ruthless. If she thought from his point of view and considering that he also had an underworld background, it was no surprise that he would take revenge from Huian.
So, she didn’t blame him. Jinhai did that because he loved her, and she understood that.
But what happened was between only her and Huian.
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So how did Jinhai come to know about it?
Huian’s cry resounded in her eyes. “Jinhai has planned Suyin’s rape. He used you!”
Nana felt a sense of dread enveloping her chest.
No…that cannot be possible. J-Jinhai can never do that. He can never use me like that, e-especially when he knew my past. He knows everything.
Why would he put me in that horrifying situation?
But then as she heard Jinhai confess that the night Suyin was raped was indeed planned by him, she felt as if the whole world crashed upon her.
She clutched onto the railing for support. Tears pooled in her eyes. She bit her lips hard, trying not to break down.
Why…Why did you do that? That night when we were trapped… was the most horrible for me after that night of thirteen years ago.
And knowing what he did to Suyin shook her to the core. As a woman who had suffered sexual assault herself, she couldn’t bring herself to be that harsh to Suyin.
Nana wasn’t gracious at all, and Suyin had crossed her limits for which she was furious too. Once again, she understood that it was inevitable that Jinhai loved her so he couldn’t let Suyin go unharmed. But she thought that if it were going to be done by the underworld way, then it would have been better if Jinhai had killed her instead of subjecting her to rape.
Death was also a fitting punishment.
But to punish Suyin, Jinhai could forget what happened to her came as hugely unexpected to Nana. She honestly never imagined that Jinhai could do that.
Nana still remembered the grins on those men’s faces, their expressions when they looked at her, Huian and Suyin as if nobody was going to be spared tonight. She felt as if she was reliving the nightmare once again. She imagined the things they would do to her, and her body turned frigid cold at that thought.
Goosebumps crawled on her skin, making her shiver. She really wanted to cry at that moment, but she held back her tears because she didn’t want them to see that perhaps they already won and that there was really no way out.
The first time she was lucky that the twins barged in, but that night she thought that she was really done for. How many times would luck save her?
Nana trembled in place as she heard their conversation. She was once again stunned to know that Jinhai knew that Huian had tricked him. Even though it was a year later, Jinhai still kept quiet about it.
So many thoughts and so many conjectures came flooding in her mind.
“Perhaps, he wanted you!”
That struck her hard.
So did Jinhai really started blackmailing her because he wanted me? Did he decide to come out and end his marriage because we met?
But as far as she remembered and what she said the same to Huian, Jinhai and her really were not that close to each other at that time. They didn’t know each other that well. So, it didn’t make any sense to her.
Nana felt that it was so ironic that Huian, who once hurt her, was making Jinhai realize where he went wrong. When Huian was laughing, Nana understood why she did. Even she understood the mistake.
But Jinhai didn’t. And then he said that he would never let her know about it. He would never confess.
So he had decided to hide this truth for the rest of his life and live with her as if nothing had happened, maintaining the image of a perfect husband who had never hurt his wife.
Nana stared at Jinhai, for God knows how long. She had heard enough and wasn’t able to stay there any longer. His motive might have been to give her justice, but at the cost of using and terrifying her, broke her heart.
With a blank expression, she turned to leave, and that was when Long Yanmei came to her.
*Flashback ends*
Nana was trying, but she failed to get any sleep.
What should I do?
She had no idea. Should she confront him?
Huian’s voice came in her head.
“Jinhai has been using us! He said that there is so much more that we don’t know.”
Nana slowly opened her eyes and stared at the dark space ahead, deep in thought.
—
Just like Nana, Huian was also thinking hard about what to do next. She did what she could do. With their confrontation in the terrace, Huian, once again, clearly understood her foolishness in chasing behind Jinhai.
She started the whole chaos by forcibly marrying Jinhai and then hurting Nana. Now she was tired, clinging onto her past.
And now she wanted to move forward in her life. But her past mistakes felt as if they were shackles tied on her feet.
She rested her head on the wheelchair and looked at the ceiling.
She knew what she had to do so that she could be free of those shackles.
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