Chapter 39: 39

“I’m not that famous yet, so I think it’s natural for people to not know who I am. Also, people have told me that I look very different on screen compared to my real self. Maybe that’s the reason why people who have seen the movie do not recognize me in real life. Not too long ago, a few people who were sitting in front of me were talking about Death Hill, as well as about loan shark A. Despite that, they did not recognize me. Even though I don’t know what the future has in store, it has been a very fun and magical journey thus far.”

Be it in the past or present, Woo-Jin had always caught the attention of others, but he rarely noticed it. Even though he had been receiving incomparably more attention than what he used to in the past, there was no way a person could change so suddenly. As long as people did not act like they recognized Woo-Jin, he would just conclude that they did not recognize him. Even if his eye-catching appearance had caught their attention, he would assume that they were not interested in him unless they talked to him.

There might have been various reasons behind it, but there were unexpectedly many who could not bring themselves to approach Woo-Jin even if they did recognize him. Because of that, Woo-Jin had bought into the illusion that he was enjoying the freedom of being relatively unknown.

“Doesn’t it make you sad?”

“The movie has just been released, and it’s just one movie. Naturally, I am not expecting anything much. To be honest, I don’t think it’s particularly a bad thing. I want to use public transportation; I want to go to the supermarket and shop comfortably; and I want to have the freedom to go anywhere I want to with my friends and family like I do now.”

Regardless of how thick-skinned he was, Woo-Jin would still feel a lot of pressure if he were to act freely and walk down the streets while being scrutinized by the public. Woo-Jin was very satisfied with his current state when he saw other famous celebrities having a hard time because their private lives were being taken away from them.

“As long as you are not upset, it’s fine. But I’m having some trouble understanding your reasoning. How can people not recognize you when you are so strikingly handsome? Of course, after seeing you in person today, I feel that it’s such a shame that the cameras were unable to perfectly capture your charm. What are your thoughts on that?”

It appeared as though she was expressing pity when she asked that question, but Woo-Jin felt that it was a thoroughly calculated trick question.

“I don’t think that Chae Woo-Jin’s charm is important in the film – what’s important is how well loan shark A was portrayed, and how charming he was. If I didn't have this mindset, it would be a mistake on my part as an actor.”

“Is loan shark A the only important thing to you in the movie? Not how you look or how you appear on screen?” Journalist Lee Yoo-Jung’s question was strange, but Woo-Jin answered calmly.

“If you had watched the movie, you would know that appearances are not important to a character like loan shark A. Death Hill was trying to use his violent love and selfish greed as devices to express some of the absurd violence in the society. If you’re able to sense Chae Woo-Jin’s presence in loan shark A, it would mean that I’m not qualified enough to be an actor.”

As Woo-Jin answered Lee Yoo-Jung questions, he could not understand why she was so dead set on talking about his appearances. Woo-Jin had heard a lot of people comment that he did not look as good on screen, so he wondered if it was really that bad. Woo-Jin also wondered if Lee Yoo-Jung was indirectly implying that he was thick-skinned for becoming an actor with his bad looks.

However, the questions had been vetted by Kang Ho-Soo in advance and were given the green light, so they would not be unreasonable. Since it was an interview conducted by a magazine company that advocated lookism, he felt that the content of the interview was bound to deviate in that direction.

“Are you saying that you are satisfied with how loan shark A turned out in the movie?”

“It would be accurate to say that I did my best, regardless of my satisfaction level. Since I did the best I could, there’s nothing else I have to say right now. For all you know I might feel embarrassed when I watch it again in the future. Even though there’s a 9 in 10 chance of that happening, it’s up to the viewers to decide whether or not it is satisfactory in the first place. I am just an actor who’s waiting to be evaluated.”

“In that case, what if the viewers are not satisfied?”

“We should always remember our past mistakes and stay hung up on them. As long as I don’t forget my mistakes and failures, I will keep trying my best. At least I won’t wear myself out by constantly dwelling on my mistakes.” Woo-Jin laughed as he felt what he said was somewhat awkward. His bright smile was so dazzling that Lee Yoo-Jung was captivated by it. Woo-Jin’s looks were befitting of his nickname ‘The Beauty Slayer’. Thus, the main topic of today’s interview had already been decided. Biltman’s main target audience was young women, and their utmost interest was on Chae Woo-Jin’s looks. Hence, Lee Yoo-Jung wanted to know Chae Woo-Jin’s thoughts on his own appearance, as well as his level of self-confidence.

However, Woo-Jin had skillfully evaded all the traps in every question, and gave all the politically correct answers. Since DS thoroughly trained their rookies, they rarely made mistakes during interviews. However, the aura that people gave off was something that could not be taught. The overflowing confidence and upstanding aura that Chae Woo-Jin gave off was hard to come by from young men of his age.

Only then did Lee Yoo-Jung realize that she herself was charmed by Woo-Jin’s beauty from her first impression of him and had approached him with bias. She thought that by showering Chae Woo-Jin with compliments about his looks was a way of highlighting his strengths. He was clearly a handsome and beautiful man, but more importantly, his sincerity as an actor was genuine and appealing.

After realizing her mistake, Lee Yoo-Jung continued the interview in a more serious manner. She asked about his reasons and circumstances behind his audition for Death Hill, as well as getting him to share his stories on set during the first shoot and also during the re-shoot.

“How was your first time doing a photo shoot with a magazine?”

“It was difficult.”

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“The photographer, Kim Jun-Yeol, is not an easy person to work with, right?” Lee Yoo-Jung laughed mischievously as she looked at Kim Jun-Yeol who was taking photos next to them. However, Kim Jun-Yeol was indifferent to her comment and stayed focused on his job.

“No. Rather, he suffered a lot because of me. I thought that doing a photo shoot would be an easy task, and that caused problems.” Woo-Jin looked straight into the camera in Kim Jun-Yeol’s hands. He bowed and apologized to the latter. Woo-Jin was simply ashamed of himself for thinking that it would be easy, as well as the method he used to overcome the crisis.

“I’ve learned a lot today, but I’ve also realized how much I’m lacking. I’m extremely ashamed of rushing fearlessly into the photo shoot today and jeopardizing it. Hence, I won’t do any other photo shoots for the time being. I think that I have to learn more about becoming a model first. Thinking back, I feel ashamed of myself.”

Kim Jun-Yeol almost dropped his camera. He wanted to ask Woo-Jin ‘What on earth are you saying?’, but Lee Yoo-Jung did not give him the opportunity to do so. She asked Woo-Jin another question immediately after, thereby denying Kim Jun-Yeol his chance to say anything. Somehow, Kim Jun-Yeol started to feel anxious because he felt that he was going to lose his opportunity to take photos of that marvelous subject for some time. Putting aside the anguish of a certain artist, the interview continued and they had almost come to the end.

“Last but not least, what kind of actor do you want to be?”

“An actor with several names.” Woo-Jin smiled shyly as he continued answering the journalist who did not seem to understand what he meant.

“That’s because regardless of our roles, our characters will be given a name. Right now, there’s only loan shark A, but in the future, I will continue to take on roles with different names, and I want their names to become mine. Instead of being an actor who is only known as Chae Woo-Jin, or being remembered for just one of the roles, I want to become an actor who’s being referred to by several names. Well, it’s still just a dream though.”

At the end of the interview, the 23 year old young man smiled bashfully as he revealed his aspirations. Chae Woo-Jin, who was being photographed by Kim Jun-Yeol’s camera, was not an experienced and confident actor with beautiful looks, he was just a shy young man with a dream.

***

“Today’s photo shoot was very tough, right? But even though it was your first time, you did a very good job during the photo shoot with Kim Jun-Yeol as well as during the interview with Lee Yoo-Jung. Especially when dealing with Photographer Kim, who is picky at times. The staff was very surprised that he actually behaved like a meek sheep throughout.” Having observed the photo shoot and interview from start to end, Kang Ho-Soo offered Woo-Jin a cup of iced Americano as he comforted and complimented the latter.

“Tough or not, it’s not that important. I hope I did well though.”

“The photographer said it was good, so it’ll be fine. He’s someone who will work all night to edit the photos to his satisfaction if he doesn’t like them.”

“In that case, I’m glad.”

“Get some sleep. I’ll wake you up when we arrive at your house.” Seeing how tired Woo-Jin was, Kang Ho-Soo suggested that he get some sleep. Even the usually talkative Hwang Yi-Young had kept her mouth shut out of concern for Woo-Jin.

That was how bad Woo-Jin's condition was. He had never been exhausted even after pulling a few straight days of all-nighters to shoot his scenes. However, the entire process of going through a photo shoot and doing an interview did a bigger number on him mentally than physically. Hence, he was very exhausted. The last part of the photo shoot with Kwon Eun-Mi went well as they worked together under the pretext of acting, but the earlier photo shoots were not easy at all.

The act of assuming the personality of an identity from his past life to create the perfect scene was a very tedious task. Woo-Jin was only able to get the hang of it towards the end of the series of tasks that were neither fun nor delightful. Before that, he had only acted according to the personalities of his past lives.

All the actions he did, such as drinking wine; working at a desk; reading a book; and taking a pet out for a walk, etc. were nothing more than just actions that he had carried out after allowing his past life’s personality to take over. It was neither acting, nor was it an impersonation. He had merely picked one of his personalities from the past and expressed that ‘I am such a person.’ It was not a bad thing to use his past memories to help him understand and express areas that he had no knowledge of, but that was the limit.

This was a different path from acting, different from the path which Woo-Jin was pursuing. Acting was something that had to be created after he had studied the role, as well as tackling the challenges that came with it. The moment he had realized that imitating something that had already existed was not considered acting, he started to feel ashamed. If the time came where he had to act as another person who existed in real life, without putting in his own emotions and using his understanding of them to act out the role, it would be nothing more than a puppet show.

The essence of acting, which he had only realized belatedly, had naturally dissolved during the photo shoot with Kwon Eun-Mi. At least during that photo shoot, he was able to act out his role in his own way, instead of letting his past life’s personality take control of him. Even if only one photo was taken, the subject would have to create a story through their own acting and give it their own storyline to turn it into a work of art.

When the photos were sloppily taken, they would only be considered as just Chae Woo-Jin’s personal photos, and not a work of art. He was fortunate to be able to recall his past lives, but it was not simply just an opportunity for him to impersonate his past lives with those memories. One should never ignore their true selves at any given moment. Chae Woo-Jin, who was still far from reaching the top, had realized early on what was the most important aspect of acting. This realization has allowed him to reflect on his actions, which would surely aid his future growth.

Woo-Jin thought to himself about what it meant to be fortunate, as he gradually started drifting off to sleep. Protecting himself was the way to protect the art he wanted to create.

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