Chapter 80: Bad News

"Then why did you hate women so much before?  What makes you not want to be touched by us?"  Lyra asked halfheartedly.  It wasn't totally that she wanted to know the reason behind Duke Kleo's strange behavior, but it seemed that she just wanted to give him an appropriate recompense for his rule.  Forget the past?  Seriously!

Satisfaction filled her face after seeing him looking confused and doubtful.  Perhaps this was what she had been waiting for, and empathy that would only be understood if one felt the bitter experience of another.

"Hmm?"  She tilted her head, blocking the sunlight that almost stung her eyes by closing her eyes.  Then pulled her head back into the shadow of the umbrella, like a zombie.

"I think we can discuss something else," Duke Kleo said after a long silence, and after nearly drowning in the memories he wanted to keep at once that he wanted to forget forever.  "It seems the topic is too hard for me."  A bland smile stretched on his lips.

"Okay," she nodded, pretending not to notice anything.  "Then what do you want to talk about now?  Or maybe you want to tell me about your duty today?  You looked sluggish after the meeting with the representative of the king."

Suddenly Duke Kleo seemed to have his memory back after being buried for more than a thousand centuries.  "Right."  His face looked as normal as before.  "I was going to tell you about it."

"Good."  Lyra clapped her hands as she had just watched an entertaining show.  "So what's the problem?"

"I don't know where to start," he muttered as he looked away like he wanted to find fish eggs in the middle of a clear lake full of ecosystems.  "Representatives from His Highness brought some news.  One of them was about a tax problem I just worked on.  I still have to finish at some point like for example Downhill, which isn't even fully supplied due to poaching.  Then the drought in Balona got worse."

"I didn't know that you had so much work to do as if you were working alone."

"I hear that a lot."  He grimaced, both proud and feeling sorry for himself.  "I did get direct orders from His Highness, but that doesn't mean I have to solve all the problems myself.  I still have to ask some nobles who work in the government for help.  But unfortunately, it's not that easy."

"I seem to understand a little about your situation," she said sincerely.  "You seem like my friend who has to get tired of her friends to do the right thing."  She deliberately didn't mention Gerald's name so that Duke Kleo couldn't target him.

"Almost exactly," he nodded, glancing at her fingers which looked fragile and needed to be protected.  "All of this is hard on me."  As he gripped her hand tightly, slipping in her fingers.

Like a shocking coincidence, Lyra turned to Duke Kleo.  After they did a lot of things it didn't necessarily make her used to skinship.  Sometimes she had to make sure of her consciousness, her sanity.

"I wonder why I've survived this far alone," he said again, squeezing her fingers gently.  "Maybe because I'm too used to it.  Unfortunately, that lifestyle was ruined after you came to me."

Biting her lip, she looked at his beaded eyes intently as if to be hypnotized.  She should have responded with something sweet, like, "I even felt like I was breathing again after meeting you.  Now I feel my life is colorful and perfect."  And so on.  It was one of her greatest abilities.  But why not now?  She kept silent, swallowing all the nonsense she always spits on other men.

"Is that a bad sign?"  She asked, blinking as she waited.

"Who knows."  As he took a long and heavy breath.  "There are several versions of happiness itself.  If I haven't met you then my life is only focused on myself.  I take care of myself as well as Wereal.  But after I met you now I have to share it."

"That sounds bad."

"Not really."  He shook his head firmly.  "Because you gave me a new experience, as well as the enjoyment I've never had.  I'll never forget it, and maybe I can't even."

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"Whereas if you wanted you could do it with another girl, someone with no experience at all.  Trust me, it'll feel even more awesome, at least people do."

"I don't trust other people," he commented.  "I only believe in myself, in the experiences I've had.  And this is how I feel.  I'm happy with you, and want to repeat it every moment with you."

'Uh, why does he look so good at seducing a girl?  Did he not have a girl before me?' thought Lyra, who immediately shook her head in realization.  'Why should I question that?  And why do I get upset about it?'

Duke Kleo was silent, waiting for her answer.  "Then what about you?"  Hopefully.  "Do you also feel the same way as me?"  Even the grip on her fingers tightened.  "You… must feel the same way as me right?  Right?"

Lyra's face and ears turned red as her eyes darted around to examine the surroundings.  Even though there were several maids around them, it seemed that Duke Kleo didn't feel shy or awkward about discussing intimate stuff.

"Can we talk about this another time?"  She looked down.

"Oh, alright."  He chuckled after realizing something.  "I'll keep it until tonight.  We'll talk about it later tonight, okay?"

Although reluctant, she finally nodded anyway.  The grip on her fingers tightened as if something worse had happened.  "What else?  Is there another problem?"

Then his head fell on her shoulder, drowning in her scent that wafted out, like smoke in a forest fire.  But it ensnared him even more.

"Our engagement has to be postponed," he said in a trembling voice that sounded almost like a muffled sob.  "I just don't understand why there are always obstacles when we want to unite?"

'I don't want to unite with you,' Lyra thought, though she finally came back helpless after seeing Duke Kleo's sad expression.  Now she felt his embrace tighter than before, which seemed to want to lock her up forever.

"I've lost my mother," he said again.  "And now I have to wait a little longer to stay with you," he continued.  "Why do people have to take all my happiness away?"

"Why?"  Suddenly she was worried especially after seeing him getting weaker as if he was paralyzed.  His sad ambiguous stories remind her of her painful past.  "Did you miss your mother?  Would you like to visit her grave?" she asked seriously, feeling him shake his head.

"I only miss you."

"But we are together now."

"That's not enough."  He curled up like a child.  "I want us to get married soon, or at least have a bond."

"You've already given me a ring.  Isn't that enough?"

"They asked you to get the peerage first!"  Finally, he spilled his complaints.  "While you have to get it through the test way, one thing that will be very difficult and will take a very long time to obtain."  Gripping her arm.  "As if they wanted to postpone our engagement on purpose, I don't know why."

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