Chapter 10: 10

Xia Tingwan left the Su family’s house as if he was caught on fire. Zhao Nanshu didn’t dare to ask a word when he saw his dejected appearance, but just drove with his head down.

Until they arrived driving down Fragrance Hills, Xia Tingwan suddenly said, “He doesn’t love me anymore.”

 

 

Zhao Nanshu’s hands trembled lightly. He wanted to comfort him, but found that he couldn’t say anything.

Xia Tingwan rolled down the car window, and there was the lingering fragrance of Su Family’s Rose Garden in the night. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

A few days ago, when he was at Zhao Nanshu’s house, he quietly sorted out Su Yan’s letters to him.

 

Su Yan had a habit of sending postcards to Xia Tingwan whenever he left H city for business trips.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Xia Tingwan used to joke that he was a leftover antique from the period of the Republic of China, but Su Yan was not angry. He said: When he was away, there were many things he wanted to share, but he was not in a hurry.

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But Su Yan is different – Su Yan is very quiet and slow, he is like a river flowing under a moonlit night, I don’t know when, love has slowly flowed into the sea and never comes back.

But Su Yan is different – Su Yan is the type that’s silent and mild. He was like a river flowing under the shining moonlight. Who knows when love has gradually poured into the sea and will never return?

In his first year of marriage, Su Yan went to France to deal with affairs and sent him a postcard with a few words on it:

 

Tingting, read the letter. 

I’m in Paris. It’s rainy these days, but I was lucky to receive the original French version of The Little Prince published by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry in 1943, so I’m in a good mood.

There are a few words I’ve always wanted to extract for you to read, which are attached here.

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“My rose, others will think that she is like you, but she alone is better than all of you. Because she was watered by me. Because she was placed in the flower cover by me. Because she was protected by a glass. Because the caterpillars on her body (except for the two or three leaving to become butterflies) were removed by me. Because I have listened to her sorrow, her boasting, and sometimes even her silence. Because she is my rose.”

I can’t help thinking of you when I read this. 

You are better than everything in the world alone, because you are mine and the little prince I want to protect for the rest of my life.

The memories Su Yan gave him, like the aroma of roses that came from a far away place, but it still had the sweetness that made him sad.

It was the words on this postcard that gave him the courage to find Su Yan.

On his body, in those very secret places, there were many thin spikes. As long as they were touched, they would stand up disobediently. 

Maybe it’s because he never thought he was cute. Before he was with Su Yan, he never believed that someone would really love him.

Su Yan was his first man and his only man.

 

When he undressed and had sex with Su Yan, Su Yan repeatedly and carefully kissed the ugliest parts of his body, those scars scalded by cigarette butts and the rough skin scratched by glass.

He cried in Su Yan’s arms and begged Su Yan again and again not to hit him, he can never hit him. 

Su Yan promised.

Su Yan promised again and again, but even so, he couldn’t restrain himself. He wanted to hurt Su Yan.

Only when Su Yan endured the pain to protect him and water him, can he feel loved. In the past five years, he repeated this action and confirmed that he was loved again and again.

Now, it was all over. 

Su Yan was tired of all this and uprooted his body from the ground before it blossomed. He was in pain, because he hated himself, which was even more painful.

He himself destroyed the only chance to be loved in his life.

Author’s Note:

I know that you guys have a lot to express, but I dare not say too much, because I am afraid that it will affect your reading experience. I really just want to write a love story. They are not bad people. I seriously like every character in my article. If possible, I hope everyone can join me and get to know them slowly. 

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