Chapter 5: 4

「I’ll return now.」

 

That was all I said and started walking away. Raul followed me.

I have no intention of staying here and providing any more gossip to the royal sparrows. They are naturally quick on their feet.

 

「…」

「…」

「…」

「…What is it?」

「No…」

「Okay, well.」

 

Is this torture or something?

He has a habit of acting like he has something to say, but he doesn’t say anything. He also has a habit of giving me a look, but if I look at him, he quickly drops his gaze. He was just walking silently. I don’t like to make small talk, but the air is too heavy for me.

 

He has always been someone who can’t have a conversation without me broaching the subject. My brother Keith and I were both rather talkative people, so we were never bothered by Raul’s lack of talking. I feel like he’s getting less and less verbal every year. Well, even without talking to me, he seemed to be conversing fluently with Priscilla-sama earlier, so there seems to be no problem.

 

It’s not that far to the palace of Her Royal Highness, whom I serve, but it feels incredibly far away.

I just kept walking in silence, trying to escape from reality, thinking that mental anguish can really make me lose my sense of time. All the while, he kept getting glances from one to the other, which was depressing.

 

「…Marsha.」

 

He called my name, apparently in a rare mood to talk. I glanced at Raul without replying, but our eyes still met. But he went on with his talk.

It was really too rare and unexpected.

 

「…It’s been a… while, isn’t it?」

「It seems so.」

 

I didn’t have a problem if we didn’t meet as it was, I add, only in my mind.

 

「Is Keith doing well?」

「I can’t say for sure since I haven’t met him either, but from reading the letter, I don’t think he’s changed.」

 

My brother Keith is serving as a civil servant at the royal palace. Just a few days ago, a birthday gift and a letter arrived at my private room in the palace, so he is definitely in good health.

 

「Why don’t you ask my brother directly? He was your best friend.」

「…I haven’t seen him since then.」

 

I’m sure he was. My brother was more upset with your behavior than I was.

Knowing that and asking him about it, I don’t think we have the same personality.

 

However, it’s really rare to have a conversation from him. He has, it seems, grown a bit in his conversational skills over the past decade.

 

「The necklace… did you like it?」

「…Necklace, you say?」

 

I tilt my head. I don’t remember receiving such a thing.

 

「I recently purchased it when escorting Her Highness on a tour of her territory…」

「Is it for me?」

 

Raul nodded in a small way.

 

「I have not received any, but I’m sure you must be mistaken.」

「How strange…」

 

Then he showed his scowling face.

 

Mostly, I think it was something done by an admirer of Her Highness Princess Priscilla, but I’ll keep quiet because such a thing would make no sense to him, who is blind in love. I had been similarly harassed before. I am not surprised now. I was rather surprised that Raul had given me a gift.

What kind of a windfall of a gift was this after all these years? It was so creepy that it gave me goosebumps. I was holding on desperately because I couldn’t rub my arm, when Raul’s shoes stopped.

Suspicious, I stopped as well.

 

「Please…」

 

Did you do it? I was about to ask him, but Raul, who was looking serious, stopped me.

I was stunned by what he spun out of his mouth.

 

「Marsha… Is there any truth to the rumor that you are harassing Her Highness Princess Priscilla?」

 

I was too stuttering from the ridiculous dialogue to react immediately.

I guess I must have looked like a dumbass. But Raul, who doesn’t seem to see my face, doesn’t notice.

 

「If that’s true… then I want you to stop.」

「Hah?」

 

Not only did he not notice, but he frowned and clutched his chest, as if to say how distressed he was, which somehow made Raul feel like I was watching a one-man show.

 

「The only one you have to blame is me. I’ll take it however much you want…」

 

Don’t blame her. Please…

 

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I beg your pardon?

I thought he was unusually prolific, but this is what he’s talking about. I guess this is what he has been trying to say all along.

I was so disgusted that I didn’t even want to get angry.

 

「You know what…」

 

I let out a big sigh, as if to say, “I’m not going to do this again.”

Raul still has a mysterious look on his face.

 

「Why should I harass Her Royal Highness the Princess?」

 

I ask him normally, without changing the tone of my voice or my facial expression. To avoid being taken as sarcastic, I kept my language as informal as in the past. I thought Raul would understand my words better that way.

 

「That’s…」

 

Instead of Raul, who seemed reluctant to say anything, I went ahead and spun the words.

 

「Did you think I was jealous because you have feelings for her?」

「…」

 

Raul gives a “is it not?” expression.

 

「I have been asking the Colden family to break off our engagement for 10 years. You are the one who is asking me to marry you. You’re the one who is rejecting me. So why am I jealous of her?」

 

“There’s no reason, right?” I continued my words.

 

「Besides, who told you the rumor that I’m harassing her? Who is saying that?」

「That’s…」

「You don’t know if you can’t tell, so you won’t say it. Shall I tell them? The friends of Her Royal Highness the Princess? Or is it the palace maids of Her Royal Highness the Princess? Am I wrong?」

 

I guess if he doesn’t deny it, I wasn’t wrong.

 

「Hey, the Kingsguard is not just about protecting people, right? If something goes wrong, you do investigations, probes, interrogations, and so on. There’s no way you would take a rumor to heart, right?」

「…!」

「Do you have any proof or evidence to say that I’m harassing her?」

「However, just a few minutes ago…」

「Few minutes ago? Perhaps that I refused to allow Her Royal Highness the Princess to visit?」

 

I retorts to Raul’s words as if I was covering my own words.

 

「…Yes.」

「What’s so harassing about that? You know I am the queen’s lady-in-waiting. Why do you think I was alone in the corridors of the Royal Palace?」

「…」

「Because I’m returning from His Majesty’s office. I delivered to His Majesty a letter from the Queen. I’m not lying. You’ll find out soon enough, because His Majesty will be here in a little while. Besides, if I had not refused and Her Royal Highness the Princess had come, who would have been embarrassed?」

 

I don’t remember being blamed, only thanked. It is naive of him to blame me for making assumptions.

 

「Also, when have I ever accused you? When did you accept it?」

 

All I asked for was an end to the engagement. If I wanted to blame him, I would have slapped him with a broken engagement. In the first place, it was 10 years ago, and I have never interacted with her just once.

The only people who are forever talking on the premise of what happened 10 years ago are the unaccountable rumor-mongers, the people on the Royal Palace and the Princess’s side, and Raul.

 

「…」

「Why are you not saying anything?」

 

If he had something to say, say it back, and I’ll say it back tenfold.

 

With that thought, I suddenly realized that I was getting heated. I wanted to talk calmly, but this would turn into female hysteria. That’s not good enough.

 

I took a deep breath to calm down.

 

What was in the past, is fine now.

The point of the story now is that I am under unjustified suspicion.

 

「…Sir Raul Colden, Captain, 4th Commanders of the Kingsguard.」

 

Raul noticed my change in tone and looked up with a huff.

 

「I am proud to be the queen’s lady-in-waiting. I know that everything I do will be evaluated by the Queen. I try to act responsibly.」

 

There is nothing to be ashamed of.

 

「If you have any suspicion that I am doing such a thing, first of all, please bring me solid, incontrovertible evidence.」

 

You have to give me proof before you question me. That’s what I told him.

 

Raul, unable to refute anything, was silent for a while and then said only one word.

 

「…Understood.」

 

He said.

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