Chapter 55: 53

The scorching heat of the youth’s palm gradually intertwined with his breathing.

Xu Sheng couldn’t be more familiar with this studio. Before high school, he had spent many nights sitting here, facing that easel, brush grasped within his hand. 

He liked listening to music while he drew. He listened to any kind of song. The wires of his headphones dangled from his shirt pocket, a random song playing into one ear, and the rustling of pen on paper into the other.

While the sun was shining its brightest in the afternoon, a few lazy cats often passed the steps outside the floor-to-ceiling windows.

 

 

They would sometimes stop, roll over to expose their bellies, and bathe in the sun.

The studio looked the same. Even the sketches that hung on the walls remained there. It was because it was so familiar that Xu Sheng felt uneasy. 

He had wanted to steady his hold on the brush, and his fingers were tight at first, but the other’s hand on his was hot, and he could not help but loosen his grip.

 

Until Shao Zhan asked him, “Aren’t you going to draw?”

“…”

Xu Sheng thought to himself: Don’t you think this position is strange?

 

Shao Zhan sounded calm, the tone of his voice even carried an extremely subtle hint of allure, “Your friend has been gone for almost five minutes. He should be coming back soon.”

“I’ll draw.” Xu Sheng’s hand tightened again, fingers clasping around Shao Zhan’s knuckles. “Don’t move around too much.”

It wasn’t that Xu Sheng had never edited other people’s work before, but this method was certainly a first for him.

 

He guided Shao Zhan’s hand to pick up some of the paint from the palette, his other hand resting on the back of Shao Zhan’s chair. The two of them were very close, especially when Xu Sheng bent down, closing the distance between them even more. The brush picked up some colour, then was guided back to the canvas. The tip of the brush stopped in front of the paper, before sweeping across it. 

This kind of ambient colour was the colour used when representing the light reflecting off objects.

Xu Sheng finished the brushstroke and finally let go of his hand.

Kang Kai coincidentally returned at this moment after buying the medicine. He hurried in and said, “What’s wrong with your stomach, still hurting and all… I remember you used to catch a cold easily back then. Is it better now?”

Shao Zhan, “Catch a cold?” 

Kang Kai, “That’s right. Every time you got sick, your temper got worse too. You got tired after lifting a single finger. If I spoke to you, you would just say ‘go away’.”

When Xu Sheng was younger, his immunity had indeed been quite weak. He fell sick with each change of the seasons. Normally, he would often find a place to just lie down and sleep. When he got sick however, he would get up and become a menace to deal with.

Every time, Kang Kai could not overlook it. “You’re not finishing your homework? Didn’t your teacher scold you? If you don’t hand it in again, then you don’t need to attend her class anymore.”

“Stop bothering me. I’m a sick patient right now, why are you talking about homework?” Xu Sheng’s voice would be raspy. “Go away.” 

Kang Kai meant to expand on the topic, and had all intentions of exaggerating.

But Xu Sheng couldn’t keep listening to this any further and pointed to Shao Zhan. “Isn’t it time for him to eat his medicine?”

 

Shao Zhan, “…”

Kang Kai, “Oh, right. I’ll get some hot water.” As he finished speaking, he noticed that his painting had been edited. 

“Holy shit.” He could recognise Xu Sheng’s brushwork anywhere. “You’re done?” Kang Kai asked.

After that, Auntie Kang came back from grocery shopping, and warmly invited the both of them to stay for a meal. It wasn’t often that they saw “Xu Sheng” making friends. The two of them looked at the time, and saw that they had to return to school.

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“Why didn’t you continue?”

“What do you mean why, I just didn’t have time.”

Xu Sheng’s discussions of his interests did not easily arouse suspicion. Those who didn’t understand art wouldn’t initially think of the art exam, especially students of a school completely focused on literature and humanities, like Lin Jiang Sixth High.There were almost zero people who understood anything about the “Artist’s Exam.” 

It was like suddenly discovering that a friend by your side knew how to play some kind of an instrument.

Everyone would lose interest.

Although he couldn’t do well as a poor studier, couldn’t someone bad at school still have some talents?

—If Shao Zhan hadn’t seen that strip of paper in that pile of interest forms in Meng Guowei’s office, he would have also thought like this. 

But he also wasn’t sure if those words on that paper meant what he thought they meant.

Ever since the two of them came together, there was a certain mystery, like a layer of fog in front of his eyes.

Xu Sheng didn’t seem to have any intention of continuing the conversation, so Shao Zhan didn’t ask.

As they chatted, the bus arrived. 

There weren’t many people on the bus. Xu Sheng scanned the surroundings and immediately embarked towards the back row. “Sit in the back?”

Shao Zhan didn’t have any objections.

 

After the two of them sat down, Xu Sheng took his phone out of his pocket, then put it in front of Shao Zhan, indicating for him to switch his phone.

Before Shao Zhan handed him his phone, he saw an unread message on his phone screen. 

[Mom]: …

The rest of the content was hidden.

Xu Sheng took the phone. His expression didn’t change after seeing the message. He rested his elbow against the bus window. The wind came in from the open window.

[Mom]: You should be on break now. 

[Mom]: You have to eat well over the weekend. Don’t stay up too late, and don’t always eat out. The food in the school cafeteria is much healthier.

Xu Sheng replied: Got it.

It was only at this moment that the tense mood from the past few days finally relaxed. Shao Zhan had accidentally received the message from Kang Kai, yet the matter of the art studio kept dragging on. Xu Sheng stared at the word “Mom” for half a second, then closed his eyes.

The bus slowly pulled into the tunnel, the dark cave was like a giant abyss that could swallow everything entirely. 

After a moment, even the faint white light through his eyelids also dimmed, and it was completely dark.

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Time seemed to go back to a year ago, to that stormy night.

The thunder was ceaseless, and the rain poured.

Xu Yaping did not want him to pick up art. Xu Sheng was at that age of his youth where he refused to be disciplined. That personality of his would just cause a huge ruckus. He would curl his lips into a smile. “Mom, are you doing this for me, or are you doing this for yourself?” 

Xu Yaping said sternly, “How am I not doing this for you? Your teachers already said that your grades are improving greatly, and according to the mock exam scores, you can easily get into any school of your choice. If you insist on enrolling in Liyang – then you might as well not go to school at all!”

Xu Sheng lowered his gaze to the drawing paper on the floor. His body was turned slightly away from the desk where there was a book titled “High School Exam Questions”. It was filled with notes and pen markings. His results were really bad, and if he got one question wrong he would have to copy it two times.

There was no point in arguing. They would just keep going back and forth.

In the end, it got worse and worse, to the point they were digging at each other as deep as they could. 

During that period of time, Xu Sheng and Xu Yaping gave each other the cold shoulder, until Xu Yaping mentioned moving back home, that was when it all blew up again.

Xu Yaping had a bad temper. She spent so many years raising a child on her own, and had a strong desire to control them. She wanted to try and decide on Xu Sheng’s future.

 

“I’m not interested in social studies. Do you even know why I’m even trying to bring up my grades? What do I sleep four to five hours a night for?” Xu Sheng was not backing down. His tone and words were sharp, but indisputable. “Whatever school I choose to enrol for, that is my choice.”

Xu Yaping, “I don’t want to argue with you right now. Anyway, Liyang is out of the question-” 

Xu Sheng, “If all you want to talk to me about is this, then we can stop here.”

Xu Sheng finally tamped down his anger. It was only later that he overheard Xu Yaping answering a call on the balcony that he found out her company was laying off employees.

“I already saw my name on the list.” Xu Yaping was clutching her phone tightly, almost incoherent. “What should I do? I still have xiao Sheng… I can’t sleep at night, I keep thinking about what will happen if I can’t find a suitable job, what is my child going to do… I have to hold on. I can’t break down.”

The voice that Xu Yaping used to speak to her close friend was one that Xu Sheng had never heard before. 

In Xu Sheng’s mind, Xu Yaping was strong, resolute, as if there was nothing she couldn’t do.

That was the first time Xu Sheng had seen her cry, and that was when he realised that she was just a normal person. There were times where she did not know what to do or how to do them, and there were times where she struggled when he couldn’t see it.

Xu Yaping lowered her voice, holding back tears. “So I hope that he doesn’t take risks. I hope that he’ll live a good life, take a stable path…”

Xu Sheng leaned against the wall, listening through all of this through the door. 

The bus finally pulled out of the tunnel.

Xu Sheng might’ve fallen asleep, or might’ve not..

His senses seemed separate from the picture in his mind. Then, he felt something blocking the front of his eyes.

Xu Sheng opened his eyes a little, and noticed it was Shao Zhan…it was his own hand. 

Shao Zhan raised his hand, brushed aside the scattered bangs that had fallen in front of his eyes, then pushed them to the side. He then pressed his palm against the back of his head, letting him lean against his shoulder.

Xu Sheng found a comfortable sleeping position, his face slightly tilted to the side before he finally ended up falling asleep resting against Shao Zhan’s shoulder.

The half hour bus ride passed quickly. When they arrived at the station, Shao Zhan pressed his forehead without any changes in expression, forcing him to raise his head. Although his tone was cold, his movements weren’t rough. “We’ve arrived.”

Speaking of it, it was strange. After the two of them got used to their bodies, although Shao Zhan was in his body, he no longer had a weird feeling about it. In fact, Xu Sheng realised very clearly that no matter whose body he was in, he was still Shao Zhan. 

Looked cold, but actually…

Xu Sheng thought ‘but actually’ to himself for a while. He filled in the sentence as he faced Shao Zhan’s back silhouette.

 

But actually was still quite cold.

Xu Sheng glanced down and looked at the prominent joints on the youth’s hand. The hand’s temperature seemed to be the opposite. 

When Xu Sheng returned to the dorm, he remembered the stack of A4 paper that had been folded into a square inside his pocket. This was the after class homework Zhou Yan had assigned Shao Zhan.

S: Your after class homework is still with me. I forgot to give it to you. Are you coming to get it or should I drop it off for you.

Shao Zhan only replied after a while: I’ll come in a bit.

S: How long is a bit. 

S: I’m going to play games in a bit. In honour of the spirit of esports, I won’t open the door for you while I’m mid-game.

Shao Zhan: Wait for me to finish showering.

S: …

Fuck. 

S: Are you showering?

Shao Zhan: To be precise, I’m taking off my clothes.

This conversation could not be continued.

Xu Sheng thought for a while and still couldn’t resist replying. 

S: Wash quickly.

S: Close your eyes while you wash.

A few seconds later, there was a ‘ding’, and his phone screen lit up.

Shao Zhan: I’ve already seen everything. Isn’t it a bit too late to tell me to close my eyes now. 

Xu Sheng’s upper body was bare. That black string was still hung around the youth’s neck. He watched the chat box display the words ‘currently typing’ for a while before the chat window finally calmed down.

Only then did Shao Zhan set his phone down.

 

Before he went to the art studio today, he had thought that it was merely a ‘hobby class’.

Yet against his expectations, it seemed that it was not like that. 

There seemed to be many traces of Xu Sheng’s life here. Whether it was something he had seen before or not, the image of the youth as he held a brush, or listening to the hidden meanings behind his casual conversations, they all seemed to invisibly let him get closer to Xu Sheng a bit.

And Xu Sheng had also only realised afterwards that Shao Zhan had unconsciously invaded his private territory.

No.

Xu Sheng recalled the youth sitting on the window sill in that dark hallway at Green Boat Base. 

It was more like this.

They had stepped into each other’s worlds a long time ago.

 

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