Chapter 261: I've Already Screwed Up

Avery stretches out on the narrow cot. She's upset, but eventually, her exhaustion gets the better of her. She sinks into a deep sleep. When she wakes again, she sees that Evan is lying stiffly on the edge of the cot. He's awake and staring at her with serious, thoughtful eyes. He slips his hand under her clothes and gently strokes the skin on her stomach.

She turns to him and smiles sleepily, but then she goes stiff. The sun is pouring into the room, and it looks like it might be noon. I was supposed to be at work hours ago, Avery thinks sadly. It's only my second day, and I've already screwed up. Sophie is going to be so upset.

"The alarm clock rang, but I turned it off," Evan says. "But don't worry. I already asked Robert to call D.O. and tell them you need to take a leave."

"How long is it leave?" Avery asks.

"As long as you like," Evan says with a lazy yawn. "If you'd like, I could buy D.O. for you."

"There's no need for that," Avery says, horrified by the idea. "I have no idea how to run a jewelry company, and I'd never dream of doing that to Sophie."

Though Avery is disappointed she's had to take a leave of absence before she's even started, she's grateful for the extra time with Evan. She reaches out and touches his forehead to check for a fever. His skin is slightly warm but not feverish. He looks better than before too.

Robert knocks at the door and enters the room, pushing a cart loaded with every breakfast food imaginable. He looks embarrassed to see Avery in bed with Evan, but he smiles professionally and wheels the cart to the side of the cot.

"The doctors all agree that you're out of danger, Mr. Howel," Robert says. "You can leave the hospital in two days."

Avery smiles, but then she feels sadness settle in her chest. She's happy that Evan is better, but it means she'll have to leave him soon. She can feel Evan looking at her, and she tries to keep her expression calm.

"I want to go shopping with you as soon as I leave," Evan says. "I want to help you buy things for the baby, and I want you to buy me some gifts too."

Avery nods her agreement and grabs a croissant from the cart. The rest of the day passes quietly. Avery convinces Evan to move to the larger bed, and they spend the afternoon cuddling and napping. Evan seems to have calmed down, and he's patient with the doctors and the nurses.

Two days pass calmly and quickly. When the doctor comes to tell Evan he can leave, Avery smiles at the man's obvious relief. She's sure that the hospital staff will feel much better knowing that Evan isn't around anymore.

At the Howel mansion, Dr. Walters devotes all his time to helping Evan heal, and Avery does everything she can to make Evan as comfortable as possible. She brings him food, reads him the news, sleeps with him at night, and helps clean and bandage his wounds. One afternoon he looks up from his iPad and smiles at her.

"Dr. Walters said I could take the bandages off today," he says. "Do you want to go shopping?"

They drive to the mall and head to a wing that seems designed for nervous new parents. There are clothing, furniture, and toy stores, and every store shows pictures of happy babies held by loving parents. Avery picks a store paneled with light-colored bamboo and drags Evan inside. She walks around, looking at the baby clothes, trying to imagine how her baby will look in the little outfits.

"The romper you're holding is for a two-month-old baby," a friendly sales girl explains. "The baby's skin is very delicate, so this organic cotton is perfect—it'll be comfortable and safe."

"Wrap it up," Evan says. He grabs another romper with long sleeves and says, "Wrap this one up, too."

"Evan, I haven't decided yet," Avery complains.

"Our baby should have the best of everything, don't you think?" Evan asks.

Avery nods and lets Evan buy dozens of rompers, little knitted booties, hats, and soft, fleece blankets. She looks at the toys and shakes a small wooden rattle in Evan's face. He grabs it from her and kisses her on the nose. They go from store to store—Avery wants to take her time to decide, but Evan is impatient and insists on buying everything Avery looks at: strollers, clothing, toys, cribs, even a swing set.

In a larger store, Avery pauses and looks at a small but perfectly tailored suit. She waits for Evan to agree that it's well-made, but he raises his eyebrows at her instead. He looks worried, she thinks.

"Umm, Avery, that suit is for a six-year-old," Evan says. "I know you enjoy shopping, but maybe you're getting ahead of yourself."

"Don't you think it looks good?" Avery asks.

"Well, by the time the kid is six, this style will probably be a bit outdated," Evan says.

"A suit is a suit," Avery replies with a shrug. "Besides, children's fashion can't change that much, can it?"

"We don't even know if it's a boy or a girl," Evan says.

"That's why I'm trying to buy clothes for both," she says.

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I know it looks weird, she thinks. But I'll probably die giving birth to the baby. I'll never get a chance to go shopping for the kid as he or she gets older. I'll never get to buy gifts and toys and choose cute outfits for holidays and graduations. If I buy things to last the kid for the rest of his or her childhood, maybe he or she will understand just how much I love them.

After a while, Evan grows impatient, and he asks, "What about my gift?"

"Don't be such a child," Avery scolds. "When I'm done shopping for the baby, I'll buy things for you."

"I can't believe I drank so far below the baby," Evan complains.

"Are you kidding me?" Avery asks.

She can't believe how childish and jealous he's being. She sighs and leads him to a menswear store and walks to a counter in the back. The counter is covered in black velvet, and dozens of gold and silver cufflinks and pins gleam in the light. Avery bites her lip as she looks at the variety. Finally, her long fingers swoop down, and she picks up a golden pin.

"A pin?" Evan asks.

"It's simple, but it suits you," Avery says.

The pin is shaped like a sword: it's small, simple, and elegant. Avery stands on her toes and pins it to the dark fabric of Evan's jacket. She steps back and looks seriously at him, nodding her approval.

"Okay, I like it," Evan says, looking down at his chest.

Avery walks to the register to pay. She takes the black credit card Evan gave her from her wallet and swipes it quickly. She holds her breath as the machine processes the payment. She still remembers the humiliating scene at the jewelry store, and she's half afraid it will happen again.

As she says, she can see the salesgirl checking Evan out. The girl boldly looks at his chiseled jawline, and then her eyes travel down his body. Avery takes the credit card and taps it against the counter. The salesgirl looks away from Evan, but she doesn't seem embarrassed. Instead, she scowls at Avery.

"The receipt, please?" Avery asks.

"What? Oh, sure," the salesgirl says.

The girl passes them the receipt, and Avery laces her arm through Evan's as they leave the store. She knows it's not fair to feel jealous when she's planning on leaving Evan, but she can't help it. Normally I can handle the way women look at him, she thinks. But now that I'm leaving, it seems so much worse. Every time a woman looks at him, I imagine her replacing me. 

Evan leads her from store to store and patiently waits as she chooses gifts for him. She buys ties, scarves, jackets, belts, everything she can think of, but none of it feels like enough. Evan can buy all this for himself, and most of what he already has is better quality than this, she thinks.

She tries to add up all the birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays she'll miss in the next fifty or sixty years, but the number is staggering. I'll never be able to buy enough to make up for the all the time I'm gone, she thinks sadly. Maybe it's better if I don't. Maybe it's better if he just forgets me.

They leave the shopping mall when the stores close at five. Robert is waiting outside with a team of bodyguards and several cars.

"Come with me," Robert says.

"It is already?" Evan asks.

Robert nods and gets into the first car. They drive in a caravan to a building that looks like a stylist's studio.

"Why are we here?" Avery asks with a nervous frown.

She can't help but wonder if Evan is going to propose again. The first time he proposed, he sent her a new outfit and built a carousel. What if he's planning something more dramatic this time? She thinks. I shouldn't have made such a big deal at the hospital. I told Evan it wasn't a romantic enough setting. I hope he didn't take that too seriously—I can't bear to reject him again.

"Why were you here?" Avery asks again.

Evan smiles mysteriously and says, "To prepare for a special occasion."

Avery stands next to the car and says, "Where are we going? If you don't tell me, I won't go to the stylist."

Evan shrugs and picks her up, carrying her into the studio.

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