Chapter 355: I Want To Believe He Cares About Me

Evan nods with satisfaction, and lets go of Avery's arms. She dabs at the cuts on the side of his face, cleaning them as best she can with the silk from her dress. As soon as his forehead is clean, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her against his chest. She gazes up at his face and sees his eyes fill with fire. Something about his look makes her melt inside, and she relaxes against him.

His smell envelops her, and she closes her eyes. A moment later, they pop open. I want to believe he cares about me, but why didn't he save me from the kidnappers? She thinks. She tries to pull away from him, but his arms grip her tighter. She looks at the bloodstained silk on the floor and bites her lip.

If he really didn't care about me, he wouldn't have saved me in the church, she thinks. He wouldn't have risked his life for me like that. Her stomach twists and turns as she remembers his voice on the phone—he was so calm and businesslike as he talked to the kidnappers. How could he listen to me scream and just do nothing? She wonders.

"What's on your mind?" Evan asks. "You look unhappy."

She shakes her head, unsure if she should ask him about that night. She squirms, but she can't seem to escape from him. 

"Avery, I won't let you leave me," he whispers. "I can't lose you. Not again."

He turns her around on his lap and looks at her with haunted eyes. He traces her lips with his thumb, sending shivers down her spine. She closes her eyes and tilts her head downward. But he is going to lose me, she thinks. The toxin is still in my blood, and unless Charles wakes up, I'm not going to survive this pregnancy.

"Evan, I have to tell you something," she whispers.

"What is it?" he asks, tilting her face up toward him.

She takes a deep breath, and then there's a loud rap on the window.

"What do you want?" Evan growls, rolling down the tinted window.

"I have some bad news, sir," Robert says. "Charles has gone missing. It seems Andrew's men got to him and moved him away—we have no idea where he is or if he's even still alive."

"And Andrew?" Evan asks.

"We're still searching the rubble, but there's no sign of him yet," Robert replies.

Evan curses under his breath and rolls the window back up. Avery shifts uncomfortably in his lap. Unless Evan's men can find and save Charles, she's doomed. Of course, if she tells Evan about the toxin, he'll drag her from doctor to doctor, trying to find the impossible cure. She rubs her stomach and thinks about the few months she has left. I don't want to spend them in the hospital, she thinks.

"What was it you wanted to say?" he asks.

"It was nothing," she whispers.

Evan looks at the woman in his lap, and his heart swells. Her face is flushed, and her lips are a beautiful dusky rose. Her warm body is soft and light in his lap, and he pulls her tight against his chest. There's a certain sadness in her eyes, and he wants nothing more than to make her smile.

He runs his fingers through her soft, chestnut hair and cups the back of her head in his hands. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply—her distinct, intoxicating smell surrounds him, and he feels himself start to stiffen in his pants.

"You have no idea what you do to me," he whispers.

She makes a small, disbelieving sound, and he wishes he could take her by the shoulders and make her really look at herself. No other woman inspires the same mix of tenderness and lust he feels with Avery. And God knows, I tried, he thinks.

A parade of women flashes through his memory: actresses, models, and finally, Rebecca. Robert would show him their pictures or point them out to him at parties, but he couldn't see them—not really. When he looked at a model, he'd notice that her lips were the same shape as Avery's. When he looked at an actress, he'd see that her eyes were almost the same color. No matter who he was with, he couldn't see beyond Avery.

He takes her face in his hands and tilts her head up to kiss him. At first, her mouth is soft and gentle against his, but it's not enough to satisfy his hunger. He deepens the kiss and forces her mouth open with his tongue. The taste of her drives him wild, and he groans into her mouth.

Slowly, she begins to respond, kissing him back and flicking her tongue against his. Her arms wrap around his neck, and she pulls herself even closer, grinding her pelvis against the erection in his pants.

She freezes and breaks the kiss, and he sighs with frustration. He's so hard it hurts, and a part of him wants to take her now in the backseat of the car. But another part of him is afraid of giving her the wrong idea. She doesn't seem to believe that he loves her, and a quickie in the back of a car doesn't seem likely to convince her.

She moves on his lap, and her thigh brushes against his erection. He closes his eyes and decides he has to take her. There's plenty of time later to convince her he loves her. He slides one hand under the layers of silk to caress her thigh and cups her breast on his other hand. There's another loud rap at the window, and he freezes.

"I swear to God Robert, this better be good news," he says, rolling down the window.

Robert grimaces and says, "We've just gotten some information on the bombs in the church. Based on the style of the bomb and the material, we think they're European in origin."

"European?" Evan asks, his eyes narrowing.

Robert nods and says, "And that's not all. We're looking at military-grade stuff. These weren't just homemade bombs—whoever planted them would influence the military."

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"Anything else?" Evan asks.

"Well, the last time a bomb like this went off, it was in Monaco," Robert says.

"Shit," Evan curses.

"What is it?" Avery asks.

Evan locks eyes with Robert and shakes his head. He doesn't need the butler to remind Avery that Rebecca's family is from Monaco. Or that her father has many connections to the military.

"We're going back to the house now," Evan says. "I need to get you to safety, Avery." 

Avery sighs and closes her eyes. When she thinks of the Howel mansion, she doesn't think of safety. But Evan's eyes are filled with grim determination, and it'll be pointless to argue. As the car passes through the Howel gates, she stiffens in the seat and clenches her hands into fists.

"I understand you don't have the happiest memories here," Evan murmurs. "You don't have to stay here forever—just until I can safely prepare another house for you. Besides, I'm sure Lucky will be thrilled to see you. The poor dog has missed you."

"I suppose I've missed Lucky too," she says.

Evan helps her out of the car and leads her down the long hallway toward the back parlor. She can hear the dog's excited howls and yips from halfway down the hall. Suddenly, the wooden doors fly open, and Lucky comes bounding into the hall. She braces herself for him to jump, but Evan steps in front of her, shielding her with his body.

Lucky freezes midair and lands clumsily at Evan's feet. Avery can't help but laugh at the dog's antics. A moment later, Sarah comes running out. The maid's eyes fill with tears the minute she sees Avery, and she raises her arms for a hug. Evan clears his throat, and Sarah blushes and looks down at her feet.

Avery steps out from behind him and gives the maid's arm a soft squeeze. She hates how protective and jealous Evan is acting. He's not the only one who can touch me, and she thinks as she walks into the parlor.

"Oh, Mrs. Howel, it's so good to see you again," Sarah says.

"It's good to see you too, Sarah," Avery says. "Now, maybe Evan will leave us alone so we can catch up."

Avery starts toward the long leather sofa, but she almost trips. Lucky has curled into a ball on the train of her gown.

"No, bad dog," Sarah shouts. "Don't ruin her dress."

"I suppose I should change," Avery says with a sigh.

As Sarah pulls Lucky off Avery's skirt, Evan scoops her up in his arms and starts to carry her toward the stairs. They've only gone a few paces when she hears a strange high-pitched giggle. Evan's arms tighten around her, and he starts to walk faster. Avery lifts her head and hears the giggle again.

"No, no," a maid's voice shouts. "You can't go in there, Miss Summer—that's where the dog stays. Do you remember the dog? He's big and scary, and he might hurt you."

"Come on, that's it," another maid says. "Be a good girl and come back with us."

Avery squirms out of Evan's arms and runs to the nearest window. She looks out into the garden and sees two maids leading a woman with lank blonde hair through the garden. The woman is wearing a torn pink dress and walking through the wet grass with dirty, bare feet. When she lifts her head, Avery freezes. It's clearly Leonie, but she looks terrible. Her face is blank, and her body moves in a strange, jerky way, like a broken marionette.

"My grandmother insisted she come here for a visit," Evan says. "She thought it might be helpful for her condition."

"What condition?" Avery asks.

"When she lost the baby, she snapped," Evan says. "She spends most of her time at a psychiatric hospital now."

Avery swallows and watches Leonie make her way across the garden. It's shocking how much she's changed in a month. Her typical arrogance and poise have vanished, leaving her broken and weak. As Leonie walks, she puts her hands on her belly as if she's still pregnant.

"Come away from there," Evan says.

Avery is about to step away from the window when Leonie's head swivels around. Her hollow eyes flash, and she begins to giggle. The longer she looks at Avery, the harder she laughs. Avery steps away from the window and takes Evan's arm.

"Will she stay here tonight?" she asks.

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