Chapter 70: Not Worth It

Evan rips her dress apart viciously, and Avery can't help but imagine it's her body he's tearing into. She can imagine him clawing her heart out of her chest.

As if he could read her mind he says, "Avery, I wish I could examine your heart to see what it's made of."

He stares at her exposed body and feels his heart beat an erratic rhythm in his chest. Suddenly the thought of hurting her, makes his chest hurt.

"Why do you lie to me?" he whispers.

"What do I lie to you about?" she responds.

Evan kisses her as soon as the words leave her mouth. She hammers her fists against his chest, but it doesn't seem to make any difference. Eventually she stops fighting and accepts that he'll do whatever he likes with her.

Evan is so angry that his fingers have left small bruises on her jaw. He deepens the kiss and bites her lip hard enough to draw blood. He slides his hands down her body, but suddenly stops as if he's remembered something. She'd been on her period. He almost forgot about it and was prepared to take her then and there.

Avery feels his weight lifting. The room is dark, but shears him up. His footsteps echoed across the ground and then the door slams shut. Silence fills the room.

Avery forces herself to take deep breaths. She assumed that Evan would force her, and she's surprised that he suddenly stopped.

"His self control seems so fragile these days," she thinks, "He used to be like ice—always in control and never swept away by passion. Now he loses and regains control suddenly and unpredictably."

Avery changes into her pajamas and discards the torn shreds of her outfit. She returns to her room and lies in her bed. She feels safe there, knowing that in their three and a half years of marriage, Evan has never once bothered her there. She tries to sleep, but her mind replays the day's events on a loop.

"Sir, you're back," says a surprised bodyguard.

Bodyguards and butlers outside Avery's room greet Evan respectfully. Avery can hear their voices and then the sound of a door opening and closing very softly, as if Evan doesn't want to disturb her. She doesn't even hear his footsteps as he crosses the room, but she closes her eyes and pretends to be asleep.

Avery feels the mattress sink as Evan climbs onto the bed and lies down next to her. She smells alcohol instantly.

"Was he out drinking?" she thinks, "He must be drunk. Too drunk to tell my room from his, anyway."

He lies in bed with a rigid posture, keeping distance between them. He makes no move to hold or touch her as he has the past few nights. The smell of alcohol makes it impossible for her to sleep, and she finds herself wondering about him.

She wants to know why a man as cold as Evan would go out drinking after losing his temper. Avery frowns because she can't figure him out. He's not usually a man to indulge in excess.

The night seems to drag on eternally after he gets into the bed. The smell of his breath bothers her every time he exhales. She can't sleep and she begins to feel suffocated in the bed with him. She wants to go to the bathroom, but she doesn't want him to realize that she's awake.

Evan lies on the bed and frowns with a murderous look. He can hear her every breath and the sound she makes when she moves or turns over. He knows she's not sleeping. What's more, the smell of her body and her hair bothers him and makes it impossible to even consider sleep.

A part of him wants nothing more than to hold her in his arms as he's become accustomed to in the past few nights. But he can't bring himself to do it.

"What am I really angry about?" he thinks, "Is it because she's having an affair with Charles right under my nose—do I believe that? Is it because she does everything she can to protect him? Or is it because she's suddenly become cold to me?"

For Avery, the minutes drag on like hours. Eventually his breath begins to come in a heavy, slow rhythm, and she's relieved that he's finally sleeping. After all, it seems he certainly drank enough to pass out. She can't help it and gets up, moving as slowly and quietly as possible to avoid waking him.

She creeps across the room and peers back at the bed after a few steps. She's surprised to see frosty eyes glinting at her. Shocked, Avery stumbles backwards and knocks the nightstand lamp over and it falls with a loud crash.

"What the hell?" Avery says, "Why would you stare like that? You frighten me."

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Evan glowers at her, presses his lips together, and turns over as if nothing has happened. Avery is confused: is he asleep or not? She risks another glance at him, but he has his back turned to her. She wonders if he sleepwalks and feels spooked remembering the way his eyes looked at her as if he saw through her.

Avery still feels uncomfortable when she leaves the bathroom. She considers her options for a moment and decides to sleep on the couch. After being unable to sleep for so long, she quickly falls asleep on the sofa.

Evan hears the even sound of Avery's breath coming from the sofa.

"Damn her!" he thinks, "How can she sleep so easily when I'm awake suffering?"

Before he realizes what he's doing, he's gotten up and crossed the room. He wants to throttle her and punish her for cheating on him. Even in her sleep, Avery feels the chill of his rage and unconsciously pulls the blanket tighter around herself. Her cheeks are flushed and soft with sleep.

Evan stares at her and decides she looks like an angel. Suddenly, he loses the desire to bother her. Instead, he finds himself overcome by the irrational urge to protect her. He stands quietly watching her for a while, then crosses the room to the French window and lights a cigarette.

"She doesn't deserve violence," he thinks, "This thing with Charles is just a whim."

She incites his desire to conquer by embarrassing him and damaging his self-esteem, but he always pardons her and makes exceptions for her because she's unlike any other woman he's met.

"If she finally surrenders to me will I get bored of her again?" he wonders.

In the morning, Avery wakes up naturally. She rolls over casually and stretches her arms before opening her eyes. Suddenly, it occurs to her that she's on the bed. She wonders when Evan picked her up and moved her from the sofa. He usually rises early and she assumes he has already left to go to work at the Howel Group.

Avery gets out of bed quickly—the clock is ticking on her escape plan. She knows that she has to get as much cash as she possibly can. As expected, a team of maids and bodyguards are waiting for her outside her bedroom door.

"Mrs. Howel, breakfast is ready," they greet her, "Mr. Howel asked us to prepare a special meal to help conceive."

"It's alright," Avery says, "I'll have breakfast at a restaurant today."

"Okay," says a bodyguard, "But Mr. Howel asked us to remain with you in case your waist injury troubles you again."

Avery forces a bitter smile—she knows her injury has nothing to do with her husband's orders. Bodyguards follow her everywhere from morning to night no matter where she goes or what sort of injury she has.

Avery eats her breakfast in a small diner near one of the city's luxury shopping centers. She knows that it would draw too much attention if she used the new card from Evan to withdraw cash, so she plans to use the card to buy some items she can later return for cash.

She arrives at a jewelry shop flanked by a detachment of bodyguards. As she walks they surround her as if she's royalty, and people stop and stare. She always draws endless attention like this.

The shop clerks are good at recognizing wealth and they flock to help her. Avery appears to be an important customer, and the clerks all fantasize about hefty commission checks.

"What can I do you for, miss?" one clerk asks.

"What kind of jewelry are you looking for: bracelets, rings, or necklaces?" asks another.

"Some limited edition designer jewelry has just arrived," says another clerk, "Do you want to take a look?"

The other customers in the store stop browsing and pause to whisper and speculate about Avery.

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