Chapter 12: Present Chapter 4: The Dress

I've been shot so many times.  I've been stabbed.  Had the shit beaten out of me.  The pain I felt during those instances is nothing compared to what I'm going through, right now. This is like a new form of torture, altogether.  The worst part is, it won't fucking end.  I suppose I could just shoot myself.  That would fix things pretty, quickly, but, of course, I can't do that, either.  All I can do is pretend to ignore the pain...it's so fucking hard, though.

"Ricochet, are you listening to me because I feel like you're zoning out, right now?" questioned Zoey, as the two were walking along a street of a town, on their way to Fairfax. 

Ricochet had been listening to Zoey's nonstop talking ever since the two left the RV park and tried to be as patient as he could since the last thing, he wanted was to make her cry, again.  As a result, it had pushed him to his mental breaking point. 

"D-Do you think that maybe we can play a game for a little bit?" suggested Ricochet, exhausted, mentally.

"What kind of game?" responded Zoey, confused. 

"Oh, I think you're really going to love it," Ricochet claimed.  "It's called...the quiet game.  The objective of the game is to see who can go the longest without saying anything or making any sound at all."

"Oh, my dad played this game with me, sometimes," said Zoey, smiling.  "Although, I was never very good at it.  I would usually lose pretty, quickly.  In case you haven't noticed, being silent is something I kind of struggle with."

"Really...you don't say."

"Are you trying to be smart with me, right now?"

Zoey stopped and put her hands on her hips.  Ricochet hung his head, low, and stopped as well. 

"Look, we still have quite a way to walk until Fairfax and I've been listening to the wonderful sound of your voice for what sounds like a fucking eternity.  Is a little bit of peace and quiet too much to ask for?"

"Well, the silence is awkward, if you ask me," said Zoey, annoyed.  "Who the hell wants to walk in complete and utter silence?  Ya know, if you actually talked once in a while, I wouldn't have to be the one to carry on conversations about shit you don't care about.  It isn't like you're bringing any topics of discussion to the table." 

"I'm just...not a big talker," returned Ricochet, not knowing what else to say in response. 

"Well, in that case, I'll be sure to keep talking enough for the both of us," confidently claimed Zoey, much to Ricochet’s dismay. 

Maybe, I should just shoot myself, before I end up shooting her? thought Ricochet as he realized there was no hope in getting Zoey to stop talking. 

"Oh, by the way, Ricochet, did you see that dragon that flew by, earlier?" asked Zoey, completely changing the subject. 

"Dragon...what the fuck are you even talking about?  I know the world is a fucked-up place, right now, but a dragon is a little hard to believe.  Are you sure that your stupid air headed ass didn't see a bird or something?”

Zoey was struggling to hold in her laughter while Ricochet was responding to her question and taking it seriously.  Eventually, she was able to prevent herself from bursting out laughing.  Ricochet looked at her weirdly behind his hockey mask, thinking that she was having a stroke of some kind. 

"How about dragon deez nuts across your face?" Zoey managed to say, before bursting into a fit of laughter. 

As she continued to laugh, uncontrollably, at her immature and stupid joke, Ricochet was dead silent. 

"I-I'm sorry...I just...didn't expect you...to take the joke seriously...I think that's the most...I've heard you talk...haha...that makes it even funnier."

Bam!

Zoey jumped back, almost pissing herself in fright at a gunshot that almost hit her left foot.  She noticed that Ricochet had drawn his 92FS Beretta, that had a red letter “R” on it, from its holster that was attached to his tactical combat vest and shot it at her.  Her laughter immediately turned into a scowl.

"Hey, what the fuck are you doing, asshole?" she yelled.  "You could have shot me in the fucking foot!"

"Considering I didn't shoot myself or you, I'll consider that restraint on my part," said Ricochet, placing the handgun back into the holster that was attached to his tactical vest.  "Take that as warning to never say that high school level...hell...junior high-level bullshit, ever again.  Next time, I might not miss."

"You're going to threaten me over a joke?  And that joke isn't junior high level, asshat!  I learned it in high school, I'll have you know, and my friends and I used to think it was pretty fucking funny!  It's not my fault that you have no sense of humor!"

"If me not having a sense of humor means not laughing at jokes made to entertain an 8th grader, who still thinks penis jokes are funny, then I think I'll live, boob-brain."

"Quit calling me that!  I'm smarter than I look!"

"I'm sure you are...those kinds of jokes aren't fucking helping, though."

Zoey grabbed Ricochet by his tactical combat vest and began getting even angrier at him while he slowly lost interest in the pointless argument. 

"Why do you have to give me shit for my jokes?  I'm just trying to make you feel less depressed!"

"So, you're yelling in my face to make me feel better...spoken like a true tsundere," retorted Ricochet, looking away from Zoey.

"Y-You and your confusing fucking words!" hollered Zoey, her voice raising.  "I bet you don't think I'm smart enough to know what a 'tsundere' is, huh?  Well, joke's on you because, by using context clues of the given conversation, I can tell that the word means a thunderstorm!" 

"That's one way to put it," mumbled Ricochet, barely enough for her to hear him.

"Ha, so I was right! See, I told you that—"

Zoey paused when she saw the store that the two were standing next to and released her grip on Ricochet's tactical vest to study the sign.  Ricochet readjusted the vest, after she had messed it up and turned his attention to the sign of the store as well.  It had been a while since he felt genuine emotion but the mere sight of the sign of the store made his heart sink into the deepest part of his chest. 

"Let's keep going," muttered Ricochet, turning his attention away from the store.  "We don't have time for breaks." 

Zoey snapped out of her trance and frowned at Ricochet for wanting to leave. 

"H-Hey, come on!  I've always wanted to go inside of a wedding dress shop.  It's been a dream of mine, ever since I was a little girl.  I've never been inside of one before, though."

"Why the fuck should I care?" asked Ricochet, still walking away.

Zoey gritted her teeth but her expression changed to a smile once an idea popped into her head.

"How about a deal then?" she asked, causing Ricochet to stop to hear her out.  "If you let me look at dresses for a little bit, then I promise I won't talk for 3 whole hours while we're walking to Fairfax. Plus, I know your phone is dead and that you can't listen to your music so you can charge it inside of the store.  That way while I'm shutting the fuck up, you can enjoy some music too!"

As tempting as her deal was, the last thing Ricochet wanted to do was go inside of a wedding dress shop.  The feeling of the sunken heart in his chest hadn't gone away, yet, and he knew it would get even worse, upon entering the shop.  He sighed, unenthusiastically.

"Fine, we'll go inside...just for a little bit.  I'm only doing this so I don't have to hear you speak for 3 hours." 

*

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*

A wedding dress, huh?  It is pretty.  And…she seems to really be interested in it.  I’m kind of surprised, to be honest.  I never would have imagined that a girl like her would really be into this kind of thing.  Then again, she never fails to surprise me.  Still, getting married…it’s a scary thought for someone at my age.  Of course, I want to get married to her.  More than anything in this world.  But, as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t think I’m ready, yet.  I…can’t marry her until I’m someone that she can be proud to call her husband and, right now, I’m not.  Keeping such a massive secret like this from her…it makes me sick to my stomach.  I just don’t want her to leave me.  I…I don’t think I would recover from something like that, no matter how much time passes.  One day, I’ll stop this stupid fucking habit of mine, get a well-paying job and not only get this exact dress for her but make sure that she has the best wedding any girl has ever had.  It’s what she deserves, after all of the hardships she’s been through.  Life has been so fucking cruel to her and, yet, she’s still the same girl I’ve been in love with ever since I first met her. She’s so strong.  Why can’t I be more like her…hell, why can’t everyone be a little more like her?  This wedding dress, right in front of me…I promise I’ll buy it for her.  I promise.

*

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The vibrant image of the wedding dress that was just inside of his mind disappeared as Ricochet woke up inside of the wedding dress shop, realizing he had fallen asleep sitting in a chair, next to where his phone was charging. 

Shit, how long was I asleep for? he thought to himself. 

He picked up his phone to see if it was charged and to get the time.  The first thing he noticed was that the phone was fully charged and then learned that he had been asleep for 3 hours.  It surprised him that Zoey still wasn't done looking at wedding dresses.  He then found himself staring, sadly, at the wallpaper on his phone.  The picture made him feel a lot of emotions like it always did.  Sadness.  Anger.  But most of all, regret. 

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"I'm sorry...looks like...I couldn't keep my promise," he said to himself, heartbroken.  "Although, I don't plan on breaking the last promise that I made to you." 

"Hey, Ricochet!" yelled Zoey as she came running towards him, resulting in him, quickly, putting his phone down. 

He raised his eyebrows, which Zoey wouldn't have known since she couldn't see his face through his hockey mask.  Zoey was wearing one of the wedding dresses.  It was pure white in color and if he could have described it in one word it would have been...beautiful.  The dress, not the person in it.  He had never seen a wedding dress on someone until that moment and, before he knew it, the person inside of the wedding dress was no longer Zoey but rather, it was someone important to him...the same person...he could never keep his promise to.

"Hey, aren't you going to give me your opinion on this one?" she asked, snapping Ricochet back to reality.  "I really like it and I think it makes my boobs look a bit smaller which is a plus."

"I-It looks...good...on you," Ricochet forced himself to say. 

He didn't necessarily disagree with the words he was saying but it just felt weird to him.  He had always wondered what a wedding dress would look like on someone but didn't think this would be how he would find out. 

"Really, you think so?  Thanks." 

Zoey glanced down at the wedding dress she was wearing, enthusiastically. 

"You know, I never got to meet my mom.  She...died before I was born," Zoey said, sadly.  "But, my dad would always show me this picture of her from their wedding day.  The dress she wore...it was stunning...the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.  And my mom...she was so full of life...full of happiness.  My dad...claimed it was the happiest day of her life and judging by the look on her face in the picture...it really was.  I always...wanted to experience that for myself.  I always told myself that no matter how bad my life got, one day I would meet someone who genuinely cared about me...who loved and treasured me more than anything.  We would get married which would be the happiest day of my life. Then, when I was older, I would show my own daughter the picture of me in the wedding dress and tell her...look how beautiful your mom looks...how happy she is...how confident she is in her own shoes...ha...it's...a nice thought."

"Uh..."

Ricochet motioned to Zoey that she was crying out of her one eye, again.  She wasn't blubbering like the last time Ricochet saw her cry.  This was different.   Her own story...her own hopes and dreams that would never come true...made her tear up. 

"Oh, sorry."

Zoey wiped the tears out of her one good eye.

"It's a stupid thought, huh?  Finding someone that could treasure and love a big breasted air head like me and wanting to make me their wife.  I guess...I'm not the type of girl...who gets to be married and loved like that.  Better if I just accept that.  Not like there's any hope in this fucked world, at this point."

Ricochet didn't think it was possible to find a side of Zoey that he disliked more than her annoying side.  But the side he was seeing now...reminded him...of himself...a beaten...sad...depressed man...with little to live for.  He always knew that's what he was like but seeing his personality in someone else...bothered him. 

"The world may be fucked...and is only made up of fucked up people, now...but...you never know...there might be someone out there who will fall for you.  Not me, of course.  I was thinking more like a...friendly cannibal...sincere gang member...loving cultist leader."

Zoey laughed at Ricochet's pathetic attempt at trying to cheer her up.

"One of us being a quiet, depressed loser is enough," Ricochet said, changing his tone into a more serious one.  "There's no point in both of us being like that."

"Ha, I guess you're right," Zoey replied.  "Two of us being gloomy all of the time would be too much to take.  Besides, maybe I've gotten all of my shitty luck with men out of the way and the next one I fall for will be a real fucking winner.  He would just have to be the opposite of the dick head sitting across from me, right now."

Ricochet chuckled to himself at the insult and was relieved that Zoey seemed to be in higher spirits. 

"It's getting kind of late," Ricochet observed.  "We'll just...camp here for the night.  Hopefully, no one else feels like trying on wedding dresses."

*

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*

After trying on various wedding dresses while Ricochet continued to watch and give his half ass attempts at feedback, Zoey put on her regular clothes and, now, the two were eating their version of a dinner inside of the shop.  Their dinner of choice was canned beans, specifically, baked beans.  Personally, Zoey preferred the baked beans over the pinto beans that the two would sometimes eat.  Zoey opened her can of beans with Ricochet's can opener and then handed it back to him so he could open his own can.  Zoey used a plastic spoon which also, came from Ricochet's backpack, to begin scooping up and eating the beans. 

"Hey, Ricochet, can I ask you a question?" she began as Ricochet took the lid off of the beans with the can opener.

"I feel like you're just going to ask, no matter what my answer is...so sure, why not?" Ricochet mumbled to himself.

"Before...the world went to shit...was there ever a part of you that wanted to get married, one day?"

Ricochet stared at his beans in silence for a moment.  Zoey couldn't imagine how he felt about the question because of the hockey mask that covered his face.  Something told her that the question did affect him, emotionally, somehow, though. She just didn't know how, exactly.

"Yeah, I guess. There was someone I really wanted to marry, one day...more than anything.  We were both so young that...it kind of seemed like a faraway thing to me.  To her, though, it was something that she couldn't help getting excited over.  When she would hear someone talk about marriage or see something like a wedding dress, her eyes would light up in a way they rarely would.  Who the hell knows?  Weddings might be a girl's thing."

"She..."

This was the only thing Zoey could come up with as a response since it was the word that caught her off guard the most. 

"You had...someone important in your life, huh?  Someone you loved."

There was another pause before Ricochet's response.

"Yeah, you could say that.  It's in the past, though, so why the fuck does it matter?"

"It must have been...nice," guessed Zoey, smiling to herself.  "To have someone to love like that. What was it like...was the relationship...happy?  I'm not trying to pry.  I-I just...I've never gotten to be in a happy relationship before so I can't help but wonder what it's like.  It's stupid.  I know.  You don't have to answer."

"It was...the best part of my life...being with her.  I'd like to think we were a happy couple...be it, a little odd.  I...have a tough time remembering a time in my life where we weren't together in some capacity...where she wasn't part of my life...where she wasn't...the best part of my life.  Hmm.  It's all in the past, though."

"W-Where is she, now?” asked Zoey, without thinking.

There was a long silence between the two...the longest silence of the conversation, yet, and Zoey was worried that Ricochet was going to cuss her out and leave. 

Instead, he responded with, "She's gone.  The girl...that I cared about more than anything...is dead...and she's never coming back."

"O-Oh, I'm so sorry.  I shouldn't have asked that question.  It was way too personal."

"A part of me...is relieved," expressed Ricochet, coldly.  "She was too good for this world full of fucked up people.  Plus, she'll never get to see what a monster I've turned into.  It's for the best that she's gone...so she doesn't have to see...what I have to do to survive long enough to accomplish my goal."

"Your goal...the person you want to kill..."

Zoey didn't get to finish her statement before Ricochet interrupted with, "The person I want to kill is the one responsible for her death.  The reason that I'll never get to see her face, again.  That's...what keeps me pushing forward, every day.  I'm done breaking promises...the last promise that I made to her...I won't...I won't break it...not after breaking so many, already."

Zoey gulped at the intensity and serious tone of Ricochet's voice.

"And...that promise was?"

Ricochet stood up, in place of answering her. 

"It's getting late; the two of us should get some sleep.  Big day, tomorrow.  Don't forget our deal. You owe me 3 hours of fucking silence for letting you play dress up for a day."

Ricochet walked away with his can of beans and plastic spoon, leaving Zoey alone, to eat by herself. 

He lost the person that he loved the most, thought Zoey to herself.  Someone who treated him, nicely, and made him feel good.  I wonder if that's better than never experiencing a happy relationship or if it's actually worse...knowing that it's gone forever...and you'll never get it back.

 

Author's Note: Hello, thank you so much for reading this chapter!  I know that so far in the series, I haven't really gone too deep into Ricochet's character, despite him being such an important character.  Zoey has definitely had more character moments in the series so far but, with this chapter, we, finally, get a small look into Ricochet's past and some of his motivations.  He's a character that's deeply haunted by his past and lives with tons of regrets.  He also, admits that he's the furthest thing from a hero.  He doesn't want to save the day or anything really noble like that.  He simply wants to get revenge on someone and is willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish that.  Although, we do get a look at his softer side when he cheers up Zoey, who expresses a dream of hers that she worries she'll never get to live now that the world she finds herself in doesn't really provide her such an opportunity.  I really hope that I can make these characters more than the stereotypical "Bad-ass silent type" and "air headed, busty blond anime girl" character tropes that some might lump them into.  Due to the fact that most of the present day chapters, up to this point, have been more action focused, it was nice to slow down and just focus on Ricochet and Zoey, themselves.  Thanks again for reading! 

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