Chapter 21: Makoto Flashback Chapter 15: Protector (Vol. 1)

"Oh, I get it," said Jason as he looked through the comic that Makoto had been working on in her sketchbook while I watched the two of them during recess.

We had just finished passing the soccer ball between the three of us and I was letting Makoto have her usual time to work in her sketchbook.  Just like I had hoped, the distance between Makoto and Jason had decreased a ton.  At this point, they were sitting, almost, right by each other.  It had taken almost 3 weeks but it made me happy to see Makoto get comfortable around someone her own age. It wasn't just her, who I was impressed with, though. The patience that Jason had shown towards Makoto was a trait that many kids his age lacked. To me, it was obvious that Jason had a bit of a crush on her but I didn't think Makoto quite caught on or even understood this. To her, Jason was just someone, who understood her like her parents and I did. 

"So, the super hero's powers are...ice vision, where he freezes things with his eyes...being able to fly...and super strength, right?" asked Jason.

Makoto scooted closer to Jason to look at where he was pointing, in the process making Jason's face turn red. She nodded her head, yes, in affirmation. 

"A-And...the...the bad guy can control people's minds, right?" 

Makoto nodded her head, yes, again.

So, the main thing she's interested in, right now, is superheroes, huh? I thought to myself.  When I was younger, I was really into superheroes and comics as well but, as I've gotten older, my interests have kind of switched to anime and manga. I wonder if Makoto's interests will change when she gets older?

"D-Does the superhero have a...love interest?" questioned Jason.

This question puzzled Makoto and she stared at him, blankly.

"Oh, you don't know what that is?  A love interest is someone, who has feelings for the superhero.  They usually get kidnapped by the bad guy and the superhero has to go and save them?"

Makoto processed what Jason had just told her and then refocused on her sketchbook, staring at it, intently.

"I-I might have to add that," she decided. 

"Haha, no rush. The story is really good.  I-I appreciate you letting me look at it."

"I-It's...not that good...but...thanks," responded Makoto.

As someone, who writes in their free time as well, I can totally understand why Makoto doesn't feel like her own work is that great. Hell, I think most of the stuff that I write is dumpster juice.  Maybe, authors are always overly critical of their own work? 

"It is good and I know that it's only going to get better," claimed Jason as he handed the sketchbook back to Makoto. "Promise you'll let me see the next part when you finish it."

"Y-Yeah, it m-might take a while."

"Okay, there's no rush.  I know that stuff takes time."

A thought crept into my mind as I watched Makoto and Jason's interaction with one another.  The closer that the two got, the less it seemed like Makoto needed me.  Perhaps, Jason was the very thing that I had been waiting for.  Someone to look after Makoto when I was no longer around for her in the afternoons.  I trusted Jason to look after her but I knew, once the weaning off process started, it wouldn't be long before Makoto no longer needed me around anymore at all and I would have to say my final goodbyes to her.  I had said my final goodbyes to so many clients and it never felt good, no matter how many times I had to do it.  It was, honestly, one of the worst parts of the job and I knew that saying goodbye to Makoto was probably going to be the hardest parting, yet.  In the corner of my eye, I could see another kid staring at Makoto and Jason and it was none other than the little shit, who had bullied Makoto so bad that I had to stay during lunch and recess. The look on Xander's face was one of resentment...of jealousy...and just plain anger.  It was obvious that he still hated Makoto. 

As soon as I leave, that kid will just try to pick on her again, I told myself as I turned my gaze back to Makoto and Jason.  Will Jason, by himself, be enough to prevent Xander and his friends from harassing her?  Or...or will Jason end up joining in on the fun?  I've experienced it so many times.  When I was in groups, people that I thought were my friends started picking on me since everyone else was doing it.  The last thing I want is for something like that to happen to Makoto.  Ugh, this stress I'm feeling, right now, is making me sick and I know for a fact it's going to stick with me for the rest of the day. Great. 

*

*

*

"Did you have another great day at school?" asked Andy as his wife and daughter made their way through the front door of the home. 

"I have to add something called a...l-love i-interest to my comic...Jason said so," Makoto explained, as she began rushing up the steps, leading to upstairs, where her room was.

"Haha, her and this Jason kid seem to be getting much closer," Andy claimed, smiling.  "To be honest, I was hoping her first friend would be a girl."

"Hm, big surprise there," commented Minerva, sarcastically.  "Here I thought you would be thrilled about it?  You do realize that they're in first grade still, right?  I don't think you have too much to worry about.  Besides, that's what middle and high school is for, right?"

"Just the thought of Makoto dating fills me with anxiety," Andy dreaded.  "That said, for the time being, as long as she's happier at school, that's the important thing."

"Maybe, we should have this Jason over for a play date?" insisted Minerva.  "Then we can both get a better idea of what he's like.  It might put your mind at ease, at the very least." 

"Hm, that's not a terrible idea," agreed Andy. "Do you think that Makoto would be okay with that, though?  Like you just got finished saying, she's never had a play date with another kid, before.  Although, Ms. Yuuki did tell me that she's made huge progress in regards to her social skills.  This might be a good way to test those social skills." 

"Can't argue with that.  I'll talk to Makoto about it, a little later."

Minerva walked by Andy, who was seated in his recliner, working on his laptop, and he managed to catch a glimpse of a nasty bruise on his wife's face.

"Did Makoto say anything about the bruise?" asked Andy. 

Minerva paused on her way to the kitchen and sighed.

"She...did...I just told her that work was a little rougher today is all," explained Minerva. 

"Your next fight is coming up here soon, isn't it?" 

Minerva nodded her head, yes, sadly.

"Yeah, it is.  I always have a tendency to push myself a little bit too hard, the closer it gets to the fight, especially during sparring sessions."

"Have you given any more thought to...quitting?"

Andy expected his wife to be angry with him for bringing up the dreaded topic but, instead, she replied with, "I-I have been.  It's true that I'm not getting any younger and I do want to be around more for Makoto as she gets older.  Plus, I have noticed that the injuries I get from fights haven't been healing the same way that they did when I was younger.  Guess that happens when we get a bit older.  I'm not saying that I'm ready to quit, yet, but...I have found myself thinking about it more, lately."

Andy was relieved just to hear that his wife, at the very least, was thinking about quitting.  It gave him hope that if the time ever came where she needed to quit for Makoto's sake, that she would be able to. 

"Well, in that case, I won't bug you any more about it," said Andy, closing his laptop.  "Do you need any help with dinner, tonight?"

*

*

*

It might be too early for me to tell my work that Makoto is ready for a decrease in Hours.  If I, hastily, make this decision, then the same shit as last time could happen.  Although, am I just telling myself this because I'm being selfish and I don't want my time with Makoto to end?  That's not fair to her. If she doesn't need me, anymore, she doesn't need me, anymore, and that's all there is to it.  I can't hold her back because of the stupid fact that I'll miss her.  Ugh, but once I tell my work that Makoto is ready, there's no going back.  My hours with her will keep getting reduced and reduced until they're gone, completely.  Am I prepared to have to say goodbye to her, for good?  When will I be ready for something like that?  Plus, Xander still hates Makoto and there's no doubt that as soon as I'm gone, he'll start trying to pick on her, again, alongside his friends.  Jason will be there to protect her but what if he fails and isn't up to the task?  Hell, as I feared earlier, what if he joins in on the fun?  Kids can be mean...so fucking mean.  If Jason breaks Makoto's heart in some way, I'd never fucking forgive him.  Then again, if I reduce my hours with Makoto and have to tell her this, I'll be breaking her heart as well.  Damn it.  What's the best course of action here?  I need to just make a fucking decision.  It shouldn't be this hard.  But, yet, it always is with me.  Every fucking decision I have to make takes so damn long.  Stupid brain.  Stupid brain.  Stupid brain.

I had been pacing around the kitchen of my apartment for what felt like forever, trying to decide on whether to tell my work that Makoto was ready for a reduction in hours or not.  I wish I could say that this was a rare occurrence but, unfortunately, it was all too common.  Most decisions I made, whether it be work-related or just random things like what tv show to start, what book series to read next or whether I should buy something or not...all of these, relatively, simple decisions took me hours and caused me immense stress.  A lot of the time, I wouldn't even realize how much walking and pacing I would be doing and, eventually, this would result in my pain, especially in my back, to get much worse, probably because I didn't walk like a normal person.  Just like Makoto, I was a toe walker.  I just did a better job at hiding it at work since I usually wore shoes there.  Since I didn't have shoes at my apartment, I usually just walked and stood on my toes more, due to the fact that I was alone.  I paused my pacing and checked the time on the oven.  It was getting really late and I hadn't even eaten dinner.  This stupid pacing and indecisiveness not only had made me incredibly stressed, caused me immense pain but, now, was going to make me sleep deprived as hell, tomorrow. 

Shit, this is stupid.  There's nothing even to think about, at this point.  There's no doubt in my mind that Makoto is ready for a reduction in hours.  I'm the one who isn't ready. 

*

*

*

"Okay, it's your turn, Makoto," said Jason as him and Makoto sat on the carpet in the living area, playing with a deck of cards that Jason had brought.

Andy watched them, closely, as they played with one another.  Minerva was getting ingredients for dinner so Andy had offered to keep an eye on them during their play date.  Minerva had told Andy that when she brought up the playdate idea to Makoto, she actually seemed to be okay with the idea which was a surprise.  Andy and her both expected some hesitation.  So far during their play date, Andy hadn't observed anything out of the ordinary.  They talked for a little bit at the beginning, watched some cartoons on the big tv in the living room with each other and, now, Jason was showing her some kind of card game.  The only real issue was that Makoto did try to eat one of her cards while Jason was figuring out what to do for his turn but Andy didn't even have to get involved since Jason reminded her not to eat the cards, himself.  The boy seemed to know Makoto pretty well...almost as much as Ms. Yuuki did.  A part of Andy felt bad about judging Jason, before meeting him.  From what he'd seen during the playdate, the boy, truly, did act like a friend to his daughter.  Even his introduction was polite and mature for his age.  Funny enough, Andy didn't sense much romantic feelings between the two.

"Yay, you won, Makoto!" celebrated Jason, excitedly. "That's really impressive. That was your first time playing too. High five!"

Jason held out his hand, smiling, expecting Makoto to slap it with hers.  Makoto stared at the hand, for a second, scooted closer to him, and pressed her forehead against his hand just like she did with Ms. Yuuki. 

"U-Uh," Jason stuttered, nervously, his face growing red. 

Haha, maybe, I spoke too soon, thought Andy to himself. 

He got up from the dining room chair he was sitting in and made his way towards the two kids. He knelt down to Makoto.

"It's okay, she just misunderstood what you were asking of her," explained Andy.  "When Ms. Yuuki puts out her hand like that, it's usually to encourage Makoto to press her head against her palm, since it calms her down when she's crying or having a meltdown."

"O-Oh," said Jason in response as Makoto lifted her head off of his hand and scooted back, creating a small distance between the two.

"Makoto, look, when someone says 'high five' and they extend their hand out, that means you have to slap their hand," explained Andy while he demonstrated how to perform the action with his own hands.  "It's another way of telling someone they did a good job.  Jason, would you mind trying the high five, again, so she can practice?"

S-Sure...uh...high five, Makoto," Jason said, this time sounding more awkward than the previous attempt. 

Jason held out his hand and Makoto stared at it and then her own hand.  She, lightly, pressed her hand against his.

"Haha, that's not too bad," commented Andy.  "You aren't a big slapper, after all.  We'll call it a work in progress."

"Pee," Makoto said, staring at her father.

Once again, Jason was taken off guard by this but tried to hide this fact.

"Remember, how are we supposed to word it?"

Makoto hummed in annoyance as she tried to recall what Ms. Yuuki taught her.

"I-I...need to use...the bathroom.  I'll...be...back," Makoto finished, before getting up, quickly, and making her way towards the bathroom.

"You sure do get awkward, easily," stated Andy, once Makoto was out of the room.

"I-I'm sorry, I try not to," replied Jason. 

"It's perfectly fine.  I was the same way when I was younger.  When I first met Makoto's mother, I was nervous wreck."

"I-I'm looking forward to meeting Makoto's mom."

"And she's super excited to meet you," Andy returned.  "Mine's usually the one that picks Makoto up from school so she's actually already seen you a couple of times.  You have no idea how much happier she's been since you've started hanging out with Makoto."

"M-Makoto's great.  I'm just happy she's opened up to me so much.  Ms. Yuuki told me to be patient and it worked."

"Haha, patience is key.  Ms. Yuuki is a smart one, that's for sure."

The expression on Andy's face, temporarily, turned to a more serious one.

"Jason, can you make me a promise?"

"U-Uh, yes, sir."

"When I was younger, I was very similar to Makoto.  I had a tough time making friends.  I was always picked on and that all stopped for me when I met Mine.  As sad as it sounds, she was the one, who always protected me.  I've always been disappointed in myself for never being able to protect her.  Since Makoto is so much like me in that regard, would you mind protecting her for me?  I can tell you really care about her and school can be a...harsh place."

"Yes sir!" answered Jason, before Andy could even finish. "I promise I'll watch over Makoto, every day, and make sure nothing ever happens to her!" 

You are reading story Birth of The Nightmare: A Story of the Broken at novel35.com

"Haha, I appreciate that," said Andy.  "Ya know, maybe, my wife was right."

"Right about what, sir?"

"That you coming into Makoto's life...was the best thing that could have happened for her."

"That's funny.  Meeting Makoto has one-hundred percent been the best part of my life.  I hope I get to be friends with her, forever."

"Well, Jason, I wish you luck with that."

Andy could see that Makoto was making her way back from the bathroom, with more pep in her step than usual. 

"Mine should be home soon and then we can get started on cooking dinner.  Did you want to help mommy with dinner, Makoto?  Jason can join us in the kitchen as well."

"Oh, I haven't helped cook before! Can I, really?  Please, Makoto!"

Makoto nodded her head, yes, in response, actually smiling, a little. 

"D-Daddy, can I show Jason my sketchbook in my room?" asked Makoto, turning to her father.

"Of course, I'll call for you when mommy is back.  Jason, I suppose I can trust you with my daughter, alone?" 

Jason gulped and responded, "Y-Yes, sir, you can one hundred percent trust me."

"Come on, Jason...I introduced...a...l-love i-interest into the...story," explained Makoto as the two got up and headed up the stairs to her room. 

This could be me being naive but...I don't think that boy will go back on his word, thought Andy to himself, partially, relieved.

*

*

*

At least...she's not crying...as much, I thought to myself as Makoto began to bawl since I had just told her that I was leaving before lunch, again. 

We were both in the hallway, outside of the classroom, so her crying wouldn't disturb the class. This time, however, I had Jason come out into the hallway with us.  For some reason, I believed that his presence would help all of this go a bit smoother. 

"Makoto, it's alright," I comforted, sadly, as she continued to weep.  "This time when I'm gone, Jason will still be here to hang out with you."

Makoto's crying slowed at the mention of Jason's name but didn't stop, completely.  She was still devastated that I was leaving.  Guess that was a bit unavoidable.  I held out my hand as Jason watched as I did so.  Similar to the last time I gave her the bad news, she took my hand and buried her small forehead into it, to help calm herself down. 

"I'm going to miss you too, ya know?" I said.  "Still, I feel a little bit better this time about leaving because I know I'm leaving you in good hands. Isn't that right, Jason?"

Jason had been watching Makoto's crying episode, unsure of what to do but as soon I mentioned his name, he straightened up and replied, "Y-Yes ma'am.  I'll watch over her while you're gone."

Jason made his way over to Makoto, feeling comfortable enough to do so, now.  He rubbed her back as she continued to bury her face into the palm of my hand. 

"I know...I'm not the same as Ms. Yuuki but...I'll try," comforted Jason.  "I'll eat lunch with you.  Play with you at recess and always be your partner in class.  S-So, please, try not to cry too much, Makoto.  It makes me sad when you do.  I like it more when you smile."

"You see, Makoto, Jason cares about you just as much as I do and I know you two are going to be just fine, even when I'm not here.  Same as last time, can you promise me that you'll try to be strong?  I know you can do it."

Because you're one of the strongest girls I know, Makoto. So much stronger than me.

Perhaps, if I had told Makoto this, it would have made her feel even better but I couldn't muster to speak it a loud. Instead, I kept it to myself.

"O-Okay," I heard Makoto mutter through sniffles. "I-I'll be strong.  J-Just like y-you are, Ms. Yuuki." 

Huh?

"Y-You're the...s-strongest person I know.  I-I want to be strong l-like you when I'm o-older."

Me?  Strong?  What's she talking about?  I'm the furthest thing from it.  But, it sounds like she actually means it.  Is she caught up in the moment?  Is it because she's crying?  Makoto wouldn't lie about something like this, though.  Does this girl actually...look up to me?  Does my presence actually...improve her life...instead of hinder it? 

It had been so long since I had felt this feeling, even if it was for the briefest of moments. I...didn't feel like a burden...someone, who needed to be pitied...I felt...pride...in myself, of all people, and it was all thanks to the little girl, who was still digging her forehead into my palm.

Despite not fully believing or accepting what Makoto had just told me, I replied with, "T-Thanks, Makoto.  I-I try my best."

"It's true," confirmed Jason, smiling at me.  "Everything she's saying.  It's true.  All of it, Ms. Yuuki.  And, I promise, I'll watch over Makoto while you're gone just like you would if you were still here."

"A-Appreciate that, Jason.  I really do." 

*

*

*

Makoto had just finished eating all of her food during lunch and this time, despite Ms. Yuuki not being with her at lunch, it didn't feel nearly as bad.  Jason had been sitting by her the entire time, talking to her and trying to take her mind off of Ms. Yuuki's absence. 

"Uh oh, my stomach is kind of feeling bad," said Jason looking at his stomach.  "The food...must not have settled well.  Makoto, do you still want to play soccer, outside?"

Makoto nodded her head, yes, as she put her empty Tupperware containers back into her lunchbox.  She zipped up her lunch box as Jason continued.

"Alright, I'll use the restroom and then meet you out there.  I'll try not to be too long."

Before she knew it, Jason was off.  Makoto grabbed her lunch box and made her way outside to wait for Jason, until he was ready to play soccer with her.

*

*

*

Once Makoto was outside, she placed her sketchbook and lunchbox on the ground, next to her, and waited, patiently, for Jason to return.  She watched the other kids playing with one another and a thought popped into her head.

What if someone takes the soccer ball, before Jason gets back?

Makoto stared at the bin, that contained all of the different balls the kids were allowed to play with.

I guess...I can get the soccer ball and hold it, until he gets back from the bathroom, she concluded to herself.

Makoto took a deep breath and made her way towards the bin full of balls.  The last time she had done this by herself, she was terrified, beyond belief, but this time, she felt, slightly, less scared.  Her humming wasn't as loud, either.  She leaned over the bin of balls and saw that a soccer ball was still in it which was the one Ms. Yuuki usually picked out for them to play with.  Makoto picked up the soccer ball and made her way back to her spot, near the back of the school, to resume her waiting for Jason to arrive. She heard footsteps approaching her and, at first, was relieved, thinking they were Jason's but this relief was, quickly, turned into fear as she saw, who the footsteps belonged to.  It wasn't Jason.  It was Xander. Him and his friends were now standing in front of her and eyeing the soccer ball that was in her hands.

"Looks like your helper isn't here," Xander said, smiling. 

"And neither is that other kid, who hangs out with her," one of Xander's friends added.

"Well, duh," Xander responded.  "He was only being nice to her because he had to.  He was just scared of Makoto's helper, that's all.  What, you didn't think he was actually your friend, did you?"

Makoto began humming as Xander's words circled in her mind.  What if Xander was right?  What if Jason was only pretending to be her friend because of Ms. Yuuki?  What if...this bathroom break...was just an excuse so he didn't have to play with her?  What if he wasn't coming back to play with her?  What if, now that Ms. Yuuki wasn't at the school, anymore, Jason would treat her just like the rest of the kids? What if he made fun of her just like Xander did?  So many "what ifs" and the number only increased, the longer Makoto stood there, holding onto the soccer ball.

"We want to play with the soccer ball, today," Xander claimed, sternly.  "You don't need it.  Your helper isn't here.  That other kid isn't around.  Playing with it by yourself is just a waste.  Let me have it."

Everything Xander had said to her made sense to Makoto and she couldn't help but believe that some of the words he was saying were true but, a small part of her, still believed that Jason would come back to play with her.  She shook her head, no, in response to Xander which angered the boy, further.

"I wasn't asking, you weirdo." 

Xander started attempting to rip the soccer ball out of Makoto's hands and she struggled with all of her strength to not let him obtain possession of it.  This time, Makoto bit Xander's hand so he would stop, in defiance.  After getting bit, Xander backhanded Makoto across the face in retaliation and she dropped the ball and fell onto the ground.

I-I didn't mean...t-to hit her, thought Xander. S-She bit me and I...hit her in defense. 

Makoto had a red mark on her face and Xander could see that her eyes were teary, after taking the hit but, before Xander could take the soccer ball, she took it and held onto it, even tighter, while still on the ground.  This made Xander furious and he approached Makoto to try and take the soccer ball from her but he stopped when he heard yelling, that was getting closer and closer.

"Huh?" 

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Xander turned his face so that he could see where the yelling was coming from and the very next thing, he saw was a fist flying, directly, at his face.

Smack!

The punch landed, perfectly, on Xander's right cheek and knocked him onto the ground.  Jason got on top of him and continued to punch him, over and over, again, as Makoto just watched as he did so.

"Hey, stop that!" one of Xander's friends hollered, as they pulled Jason off of Xander, who was crying because of how much the punches hurt.

Smack!

Jason had punched the kid, who was pulling him off of Xander and the boy fell onto the ground as well, crying.  The kids heard a whistle blow, indicating that the teachers, who were on recess duty, were on their way to break up the fight.  Jason was now standing in front of Makoto, almost like he was trying to protect her.  Another one of Xander's friends tackled Jason to the ground and started hitting him while the friend of Xander's, who was always against the idea of messing with Makoto, simply stood idly by, not getting involved.  Makoto, despite being scared, almost jumped in to protect to Jason from Xander's friend, who was still on top of him, hitting him.  Luckily, the teachers, who were on recess duty, broke up the fight, before Makoto had to get involved.  The teachers started to scream, furiously, at all of the kids involved in the fight, including Jason, who ignored the teachers, completely, and ran towards Makoto to hug her, tightly.

"Hey!" one of the teachers yelled.

"I-I'm sorry, Makoto," Jason apologized.  "I'm so sorry.  If only I were faster.  I-I should never have let you out of my sight.  I promise, I'll never let anyone hurt you, again, and if they try, I'll beat them up."

Makoto began humming to herself from the stress of the situation and buried her head into Jason's shoulder to cry. 

He...did come back, thought Makoto.  And, he saved me.  Jason...is nice...just like Ms. Yuuki. 

*

*

*

As the hot water from my shower hit my back, I could feel the water reach all of the picking spots, both new and old, across my entire body, whether it was my arms, my legs, my lower stomach or anywhere else.  It burned like crazy just like it always did during my shower but, eventually, the pain went away.  Despite what Makoto had told me before I left, I spent the remainder of the day, worried sick about her.  I spent the entire night, as soon as I got home, pacing, panicking, picking and even lying on my carpet with my hands over my ears, which I usually did to help calm myself down when I was having a meltdown.  It sounded childish as fuck but it helped.  At the end of the day, that's all I was.  A fucking child in the body of a 23-year-old woman...like a reverse fucking Loli.  I hated it so much.  It was humiliating that, no matter what age I was, these stupid, childish meltdowns never went away.  I wanted them to so bad but they just fucking didn't.  It might sound stupid but there were some days where I genuinely wished that my mind would just shut down, completely, so I wouldn't have to deal with these stupid damn thoughts, constantly circling around in my mind and making me feel more and more shitty. Since I was in the shower, I was able to see all of the scars and pick marks covering my body.  They looked horrible.  So fucking horrible. 

"You're such a mess, Mayumi," I said to myself, sadly.  "Such a fucking mess."

You can find story with these keywords: Birth of The Nightmare: A Story of the Broken, Read Birth of The Nightmare: A Story of the Broken, Birth of The Nightmare: A Story of the Broken novel, Birth of The Nightmare: A Story of the Broken book, Birth of The Nightmare: A Story of the Broken story, Birth of The Nightmare: A Story of the Broken full, Birth of The Nightmare: A Story of the Broken Latest Chapter