“Stop!” Valen stretched one arm out towards his friends with a placating open palm while the other one grabbed the assassin’s wrist, the hand of which was gripping his dress shirt collar. “Everyone!”
The air around Enid was already buzzing with magical static and Louise was growling slowly with her knife already drawn, but both of them listened and held themselves back from jumping the person whose life he just saved.
Valen looked down at the assassin to examine their condition. They were conscious, with both eyes open but vacant and their mouth was slightly agape in shock. Their brown spider legs that had been splayed out at their sides now curled upwards as if ready to strike.
“Mate.” Valen tightened his grip on the assassin’s wrist. “I just saved your life but don’t think that’ll keep me from breaking your arm.”
The person blinked at him.
They had black eyes, but they weren’t like the empty pits Colton had. The eyeballs were still there, but they were like glossy black marbles that reflected light from the chandelier above them. Like the eyes of an insect-or in this case, an arachnid.
After a couple of seconds they glanced down at the tube sticking out of their chest, seemed to realise what had happened, and released their grip on Valen’s shirt.
“Sorry,” they said in a raspy voice that Valen still couldn’t tell was male or female. Their spider legs relaxed and fell back down on the table. “Reflexes.”
“It’s fine,” said Valen. “But you have a lot to answer for.”
“Yeah, I figured.” The assassin did a double take at the tube stuck in their chest. “You did this?”
“It’s a crude procedure,” Valen admitted, “but it’ll keep you stable for the time being. What’s your name?”
“You can call me Kumo.” The assassin craned their back forward to look at the other people in the room.
The moment they did, Louise walked up to them and punched them in the nose. They fell back onto their back with a bloody nose, the back of their head bouncing against the hard oak table.
“Louise!” said Valen in a chastising tone, though he didn’t do anything to restrain her.
“That was for spitting webs in my face,” she said bluntly.
Kumo groaned in pain, holding their bleeding nose with their left hand. “Okay, I guess that’s fair.”
“Well at least you seem reasonable.” Put a hand on her hip. “Care to explain what you were doing in our house?”
“Also are you a guy or a girl?” added Louise. “We couldn’t tell.”
“I’m whatever gender is useful at the moment.” Kumo wiped the blood off on their wrist. “As for why I’m here, I came to give something to you.”
“And what might that be?” asked Valen.
Kumo looked down at their laid out body, seeing the tape wrapped around their legs through the cargo trousers.
“Middle pocket of my left leg,” they said. “There’s a black case there.”
Louise rifled a furry hand through said pocket and pulled out a little plastic case. “This better not be boobytrapped or anything.”
“I know when I’m beat,” said Kumo. “And it’s not like I can do much with this tube in my side anyways.”
Louise flicked open the case.
Valen and Enid looked over her head to see what was inside it.
A single syringe filled with pale green liquid laid in the case nestled in a white handkerchief.
“Your heroin needle?” asked Louise, confused. “You deal dope in between assassinations?”
It was hard to tell with their eyes being all black, but Valen could almost see Kumo roll their eyes at Louise.
“It’s antivenin,” they said. “For Clarence Chambers.”
“The man you tried to kill?” asked Valen. “You came all this way with a collapsed lung just to give us something that could save him?”
“Yeah.”
An awkward silence fell between the four of them, which Valen broke with an incredulous “Why?”
“Because professionals have standards.” Kumo groaned and propped themselves up on one elbow. “I’m no longer getting paid for his death so I no longer want him dead.”
“Had a falling out with the Primordial Church?” Enid asked.
Kumo’s glossy black eyes widened. “How do-”
“That’s our business,” said Louise. “And you’re really not in the position to ask questions right now.”
“Hmph. Fair enough.”
“So what happened exactly?” Valen asked. “Had a change of heart?”
“No. They just wanted a service I didn’t offer.”
“And what might that be?”
Kumo looked Valen dead in the eye.
“I was asked to kill you, Valen Vasilis.”
The temperature in the room dropped.
The fur on Louise’s arms bristled. Enid’s magical static filled the air again.
“And you refused?” Valen continued, never wavering from his even tone. “Not that I’m complaining, but why?”
“Like I said,” said Kumo. “Professionals have standards. I’ve never killed anyone who wasn’t a criminal. Aside from the wrongful arrest, your record’s completely clean.”
Louise scoffed. “An assassin with morals? That’s original.”
Kumo glowered at her, revealing a pair of black spider fangs protruding from their gums alongside rows of otherwise normal teeth.
“It’s a matter of practicality,” they insisted. “Police are more willing to look the other way if I only kill people they were going to lock away anyways. Clarence Chambers was a drug dealer who ruined lives selling his product. Aside from that famous sister of his, no one would miss him.”
“But you’re trying to save him now,” said Valen. “You’re giving us his antivenin.”
“Well, a man’s got to live by a code,” said Kumo. “‘No Death Without Payment.’ That’s the one I live by. The Primordial Church didn’t pay me for the hit before trying to kill me and I don’t want an unpaid death on my record. I can’t just go around handing out freebies.”
“Wait, so you are a dude!” said Louise, apparently getting nothing else from the conversation.
Kumo blinked at her.
“Shit, I didn’t mean to give that way,” he said. “But, yeah, I’m male.”
“Uuuh, do you prefer us to refer to you as one?” Valen asked awkwardly. “Calling you he/him and the like.”
“Huh? Oh, right.” Kumo laid their head back down on the table. “Commontongue has gendered pronouns. Yeah, sure, he/him is fine.”
“Well that solves one mystery,” said Louise.
“Why come here though?” Valen asked. “Why not just bring it to Clarence directly?”
“Well, you’re easier to find than he is,” said Kumo. “Since you’re the one who saved his sorry arse I was hoping that you’d know where he was staying.”
“How did you find us anyways?” asked Enid.
“I remember reading about this place a few years back,” said Kumo. “It made headlines when Victor Flamel bought this historical manor for his daughter. Bunch of people complained that it should be a historic site instead of private property.”
Louise looked at Enid with a raised eyebrow. “The hell’s so special about this place?”
“That doesn’t matter.” Enid grimaced at what Kumo said. “We probably can’t stay here if it was that easy to find us.”
“Probably not.” Valen tapped Louise on the shoulder. “I should hang on to the antivenin.”
Louise groaned and rolled her golden eyes.
“Are you really going to save that arsehole?” Louise scowled but didn’t offer any resistance when Valen took the antivenin case from her.
“That arsehole has a sister who loves him,” said Valen. “If I can spare her the pain of losing a loved one, then I should.”
Valen felt Enid warp her arm around his.
“You are an absolute imbecile for trying to save the idiot on the dining table,” she said plainly. “But if you want to save the idiot dying in the hospital then I’m coming with you too.”
“So am I.” Louise put a hand on his shoulder, having to stretch her arm almost all the way up to do so. “I may not agree with what you’re doing but I’m still by your side you all the way.”
Valen smiled with his lips parted to show his pearly white teeth. With them, he didn’t have to worry about them being scared of his fangs.
“Thank you,” he said, “both of you.”
Kumo’s black eyes darted between them. “So are the three of you dating or what?”
“Just friends,” said Valen.
“Uh-huh.” Kumo sounded unconvinced. “Sure. Whatever. You might want to hurry it up and get that antivenin to Clarence.”
“How much longer until your poison kills him?” asked Louise.
“It’s venom,” Kumo corrected.
“The fuck’s the difference?”
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“Well, venom is administered through the bloodstream and poison is ingested so-”
“Hey!” Valen cut him off before he could go on a tangent. “Focus. How much time do we have until he dies?”
“Two days give or take,” said Kumo. “Maybe four if he’s strong, but I’d suspect lifelong disabilities at that point.”
Valen frowned.
“That doesn’t leave us much time.” He pocketed the syringe case in his overcoat. “I should call Keiko to ask her to let me meet with Clarence.”
“And what do we do with Kumo?” asked Enid. “Just let him hang out here?”
Kumo looked down at the tube in his side and found that his flesh had already regenerated over it. Taking it out was going to hurt like a bitch without proper anaesthetic.
“I appreciate you saving me,” he said, “but I’d really rather not stay on this table shitting myself and eating air while you three go out to play hero.”
“Right.” He turned to Enid and Louise. “Can you two come out of the room with me for a moment?”
“And just leave Kumo here?” asked Louise. “Alone?”
“If he tries to escape I’ll pick his corpse up wherever it lands,” said Valen. “He’s not going to be able to get far with that hole in his lung.”
“Plus we did tape his legs together,” said Enid.
“They’re right, shortie,” said Kumo. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Oy, the fuck did you call me?!” Louise stomped towards Kumo. “You’re only like two inches tall you-”
Valen grabbed Louise’s undrawn hoodie and gently tugged her back.
“That’s enough of that, Louise,” he said calmly. “Come on. We have a lot to discuss.”
“Ugh, fine.” Louise turned around and followed Valen out the dining room, but not before sticking her tongue out at Kumo one last time before leaving.
Once the dining room door was shut, the three of them spoke freely.
“We need to call Colton,” said Valen.
“Still don’t trust that guy.” Louise leaned against the dining room door with her hands in the pockets of her hoodie. “What do you need him for anyways?”
“Considering the resources his society has, he must know some way to treat a patient without needing to go to a real hospital.”
“Like a private doctor?” Enid asked. “Or a back-alley one?”
“Not sure, but it’s still worth a shot.”
“Can’t we just bring him to an actual hospital?” asked Louise. “We can say he got bit by a really big dog or something to explain the tooth.”
Valen shook his head.
“Even if the hospital did buy that story, having his name and face in the official records could be dangerous. We still don’t know how far the Primordial Church’s reach is but if they can blow up a hotel, they can probably also have someone kill him while he’s admitted.”
“Not to mention we want to keep a tight leash on him,” added Enid. “Right now he’s our best shot at learning more about the Primordial Church. If we somehow manage to get him into the hospital without anyone asking questions and he somehow survives not getting assassinated himself long enough to recover, he’ll probably ninja his way out of the hospital and disappear at the first chance he gets.”
“Do you really think he could do that?” asked Louise.
“Well he is a ninja.”
“How do you know that?”
“That hand sign he was making when we found him, with the hand holding the index finger? It’s a ninja hand sign.”
Valen squinted at Enid, wondering if she had some ultra secret ninja superpower that she hadn’t told him about.
“Enid, dearie, why do you know what ninja hand signs look like?”
“Shinobi Tale,” she said plainly.
“The video game?” asked Louise. “The one that’s hard as balls and has busty girls fighting in stripper clothes?”
“That’s the one,” said Enid. “I mastered all the combos in that game and must’ve seen the hand sign animations like a million times. Doesn’t seem like Kumo can shoot fireballs with them though.”
Louise mumbled under her breath. “I still haven’t beaten the final boss…”
“Git gud, scrub,” said Enid in a completely deadpan tone.
“Well, whatever the case,” said Valen. “Enid, you should give Colton a call. I’m going to call Keiko to ask if I can meet with Clarence anytime soon.”
“Right.” Enid took out her phone and started dialling Colton’s number, which she had opted to memorise rather than save to her phone which she at this point fully expects to be destroyed sooner or later.
She pressed the phone to her ear before turning her back on Valen and Louise, waiting for the blind necromancer on the other side to pick up.
“Okay, what do I do then?” Louise asked. “Just stand here while you make your calls?”
Valen put a hand on her head and ruffled her snow white hair. “You’re here for moral support.”
“Hmph!” Louise crossed her arms, the corner of her lip twitching with a smile she tried to resist.
Valen scrolled through his phone contacts until he found Keiko’s number, which he made a point to register not long after his release from prison.
The dial tone hardly had time to beep before someone picked up.
“Hello?” said Keiko’s heavily accented voice from the other side.
“Good evening, Keiko,” said Valen with a smile that showed in his voice but not on his face. “It’s Valen. Can I talk to you for a moment?”
“Valen? Of course!” The sound of clinking glass resounded from her side. “What’s up?”
“I was wondering if you could get me a visit with Clarence Chambers,” said Valen. “I know you said you’d call me if he got better but I kind of want to see how he’s doing right now for myself if you’re alright with that.”
“What brought this on?” Keiko sounded suspicious. “Does this have to do with the Primordial Church?”
Valen took a moment to consider his response.
He could try to bullshit his way through like he did with most uncomfortable conversations. Say that he’s just genuinely worried about Clarence’s health and wanted to visit.
There was no way she wouldn’t sniff it out though. Not after all he’s already told her about Clarence and his connection with the Primordial Church.
“...Yes,” said Valen at the end of his deliberation.
No point in denying it now. He just had to hope that Keiko would be understanding.
“Are you going to tell how it’s related?” asked Keiko.
“It’s better if I don’t,” said Valen.
As much as he wanted to trust Keiko, she seemed quite ready to throw him into a psychiatric hospital during their interrogation. She probably would’ve had her chief not come to bail him out.
If he were to tell her that he intended to save Clarence’s life by injecting him with a mysterious syringe that he got from the same guy who put him on death’s door in the first place, she’d probably arrest him the moment he arrived at the hospital.
“He’s not going to turn into another tentacle monster, is he?” asked Keiko with genuine worry. “Because I’ve watched a lot of questionable anime and I do not want to be anywhere near something like that.”
“Uh, no, Keiko, I don’t think he’s going to turn into a tentacle monster,” said Valen before muttering under his breath ‘At least I hope not.’
“Hmm.” Keiko was quiet for a moment before continuing. “Alright. When are you available to see him?”
“Anytime tonight or tomorrow,” said Valen. “The sooner the better.”
“Sounds like you’re in a rush.” More clinking came from Keiko’s side. She must’ve been eating or doing the dishes when he called. “I can help you meet with Clarence, though I can’t guarantee how coherent he’ll be if you intend to interrogate him. He’s been going in and out of consciousness since the incident.”
“That’s fine.” The smile in Valen’s voice finally found its way to his face. “Thank you, Keiko.”
“Uh-uh, don’t thank me yet,” she said. “I have three conditions for helping you now when I’m supposed to be on break.”
“Anything is fine,” said Valen. “What’re your terms?”
“One, you’re not going to hurt him,” she said sternly. “Not even if he’s being a dick or withholding information. None of that ‘advanced interrogation’ shit. You did a good thing saving his life. That good deed shouldn’t go to waste.”
“I wasn’t planning to hurt him at all,” said Valen. “What’s your second condition?”
“I want you to meet his sister too when you get to the hospital.”
“You mean Clara Chambers?” Valen couldn’t hide the surprise in his voice. “The famous influencer.”
“I think she actually prefers the term streamer.”
“She does streams? Like games and stuff?”
“Oh yeah. And she’s been aching to meet with her brother’s saviour. Even tried to bribe me to give her your number at one point.”
“Huh. Okay then. I won’t mind that at all.”
That was a blatant lie. His stomach was already churning with dread at the thought of meeting the girl he’d been shipped with against his will by weirdos on the internet. Still, she seemed nice enough from what he could see of her online so it couldn’t be too bad…right?
“Now, my third condition and the most important one of all.” Valen could almost hear the grin in her voice as she spoke. “I want you to grab that cup of coffee with me.”
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