Prologue: Genius is the error in the system Part 2
Translated by 64990022
Edited by Storm
Blue Outline Prologue: Genius is the error in the system
Part 2
After realizing that I was in love, I learned that I was more passionate than I had imagined.
I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible, and I was not ashamed to express my feelings for her in words. Fortunately, it seemed that she felt the same way about me, and our days were filled with the joy of being able to express how much we cared for each other.
However, there were rare occasions when we would encounter troubles unique to elementary school.
We did not identify our relationship as lovers. However, our mutual affection for each other was not overlooked by our observant classmates, and their curiosity was directed at Utako, who was an easier target than me.
“Kashii is dating Sousuke, right? Ugh, that’s so romantic!”
Utako, who did not have the courage to stand up to them, would always turn over in tears, her face bright red. In such cases, it was usually me who would get furious while trying to shield her, or Yuri who would appear out of nowhere and beat them to a pulp.
One day after school, when we were walking home together, Utako gently held my hand.
“Sou-chan, thank you for always protecting me. But I’m fine even if other boys are mean to me. I don’t care what they think of me, as long as I have you.”
My heart leapt at the softness of the linked hands. It was childish, but my instincts told me that this is the girl I needed to protect. I squeezed her hand back to reassure her… No, not to reassure, it was just an excuse, a selfishness.
“Me too, as long as I have you. But I can’t stand the idea of letting someone make you cry like that. That’s why I’m going to take them down like I always have.”
“Haha…Sou-chan, you know what? I love you.”
[TN:Remember they’re fifth graders]
From that day on, Utako’s affectionate behavior became unrestrained. Despite her shyness, she seemed to have no hesitation in expressing her feelings. If I attempted something, she would say.
“You look cool, Sou-chan.”
Whenever I made a mistake or felt down.
“It’ll be alright. I’ll always support you.”
She was extremely kind and comforting. Even if I hadn’t done anything in return at all.
“I love you, Sou-chan.”
She called my name over and over again and whispered sweet nothings to me. Even an eleven-year-old could understand that we were in love with each other.
If this was what they called love, then people who were in love must be exceptionally happy, was what I thought. Maybe I was experiencing only the good parts of love.
***
The three of us went to the Maimori Snow Festival, a famous event held in Maimori City in early February. Yuri was at the front, slurping her yakisoba while checking out the various snow sculptures. Not far behind was Utako, excited about her first snow festival.
“I wonder if Yuri’s as good at making snow sculptures as you are at drawing.”
“She’s unbelievably handy, you know. She’s also strong, I’m sure she could make a stunning snow sculpture–No, I’m confident I can make a better snow sculpture than her! I’ll even make a special one just for you!”
Unintentionally, I had let out my envy towards Yuri.
“Hey, I can hear you, Sosuke. You need to sleep before sleep talking, you know?”
In front of me, Yuri spoke with her mouth stuffed with yakisoba like a squirrel.
“Shut up!”, I taunted back.
Utako laughed at our usual exchange, then muttered.
“I want to be with you guys forever”
It sounded like a wish from the bottom of her heart, so I replied with the same earnestly and honestly.
“Me too. I’ll be with you no matter when we grow up. I want to grow old with you.”
Utako’s eyes widened, and a moment of silence fell between us.
“Y-yeah! Me too!”
When I saw her reaction, her cheeks blushing almost to the point of a primary color, I realized what I said was just the same thing as a marriage proposal.
“Uh, it’s not that… Well, I was just thinking it would be good if we could be together… You don’t need to answer immediately… But it would be great if”
I was so embarrassed that I started to ramble, then she grasped my hand. Normally she would do this when she wanted to tell me she liked me or to calm herself down, but today I knew she was doing it to calm me down instead.
“Thanks… Um…Until now, I’ve changed schools so often that I’ve never been able to stay in the same place for more than a year, but I really want to grow old in Maimori with Sou-chan and Yuu-chan. I’m going to tell my mom that I don’t want to transfer schools anymore.”
I wondered if I could take this as a good thing. But when our eyes met, as if there was magic in Utako’s beaming smile, I felt my heart and future being gently held in her hands.
I felt my feet go limp, so this was how dreamy state felt…
As I was mulling over in my head, Yuri came in between us, wearing her infamous “devil smile” when teasing people.
“How could you two say such romantic things in front of this snow sculpture? Please check your background before you decide to be romantic, will you?”
When jolted back to reality from our private world, we found ourselves in front of a poorly made snow sculpture, which was probably an unfinished display of either a camel, a llama, or a goat. The background was so ugly that we looked at each other and laughed until our stomachs hurt.
I just wanted to be with you. I wanted you to stay by my side forever.
I did not think it was such a big wish, simple even, But it did not take long for me to realize that it was a very difficult dream for a child to fulfill.
***
Who in the world left behind such an abominable saying that first love never bears fruit?
It was only a month after the snow festival, the three of us were on our way home
“I have to move at the end of March. So, I’ll have to…transfer to another school.”
The moment her trembling voice reached my ears; my mind went blank. My lips were dry, my heart was racing. My breath went wild, my voice unintentionally hoarse.
“T-that’s less than a month left! Why? You said you wanted to stay in Maimori, you said you wanted to stay here with me!”
“I’m sorry… But it’s my mother’s decision… There’s nothing I can do about it.”
I wonder how long her mother had been talking about moving. Maybe Utako had been told about it a long time ago, and had been preparing for it on her own.
Then, the meaning of “I want to be with you” that she had said at that time instantly changed from a wish to a hopeless fantasy. A good moment turning into a bitter memory. I clenched my fists. I hated this.
“Why?! We’ve gotten so close… I’m not okay with this! We’re going to be sixth graders then junior high schoolers. I’m sure we’ll have a lot more fun things to do. I want you to be with me when we’re going through all the fun stuff and see all the interesting things.”
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I was like a spoiled child, but I did not care. If I could stop her from moving away, even if she came to hate or despise me, I would be fine with that.
“Me too. I don’t like the idea of a straight-up farewell, so let’s make some kind of a promise. Like meeting again after we have grown up.”, Suggested Yuri.
I was really surprised at Yuri’s suggestion, as if she was considering Utako’s situation for once. At the same time, I felt embarrassed that I had only cared about my own feelings.
“Y-yeah! Let’s do that!”
Even if it was just a random suggestion, Yuri’s words brightened Utako. I was relieved, yet envious. But I was going to suggest something so ambitious that it would surprise them both anyway.
“Utako, you fulfill your dream of becoming an astronaut! Yuri will become a famous painter and a star in the world of art! And I’m going to be a painter too…No, I’m going to be a painter of even more prestige! Then… we’ll meet again in Maimori when all three of our dreams come true!”
To my grandiosity, Yuri and Utako blinked their eyes several times.
“You’re insane. And please don’t decide my future.”
“It’s wonderful! I’m with Sou-chan’s suggestion! It’s just like the three of us are shooting for the moon and we’ll land amongst the stars. Knowing this, I think I’ll be motivated to do my best even if I’m separated from the two of you!”
Speaking excitedly, she took the hand of Yuri who is frowning
Utako has been working hard to become an astronaut since before she had even met us. If it was her, I have a feeling that she will make her dreams come true even without this promise to motivate her. But if this promise could at least hold her together when she is having a hard time in a distant land or when she felt like things were falling apart, then I would do whatever it took to convince Yuri on board.
“You don’t like this suggestion?”
Fed up by the persistent Utako, Yuri let out a sigh.
“I just want to complain to Sousuke. It’s not like I disagree with the suggestion.”
She then fished her pocket and wrote a barely decent autograph as if she had just thought of it, right next to the scribble she was drawing on the back of a crumpled handout.
Why did she has to be so cool
Tears brimming, Utako brought the picture to her chest.
“Me too!…Oh, I don’t have a sketchbook with me. Wait, I’m drawing one now. I’ll draw and tear it from my Japanese notebook!”
“Thank you, Sou-chan. I’m happy.”
Although my impromptu drawing and autograph were not good enough to be shown to others, Utako had accepted them with sincere joy.
“Well, I promise. I’ll see you back here when we accomplish our dreams!”
I could still vividly remember the warmth of our hands piling together amidst the darkening dusk sky.
It was childish. Other people might have snickered at our foolish dreams, but not us. Each of us believed that our ambition would come true without a doubt.
***
Spring came late in Hokkaido.
For the first time I was annoyed. Before, I hadn’t really paid attention to it before, thinking it was normal.
It was snowing on the day I said goodbye to her, in the silvery white world. I couldn’t help but feel that it would be better if I could see her off in the midst of the blooming cherry blossoms. But because of that promise, I was able to contain this suffocating feeling of being without her.
And so began my sixth grade without Utakoko.
Being elected as the president of the student council, my schedule became occupied, but I always made sure that I had time to draw. However, it was obvious that Yuri was spending less and less time drawing. When she found something that she wanted to paint, she would forget about everything. But now, she tended to take a break from painting classes, and she even seems to be avoiding drawing.
“Yuri, you are low on motivation lately, aren’t you? What’s going on?”
“Nothing really. I just draw whenever and whatever I want to, is that wrong?”
It seems that I had said something wrong, and she wouldn’t talk to me that day.
I heard through my mother that there are lots of people who have been actively urging Yuri to enter competitions lately. When It came to this, Yuri was quite defiant, refusing to bend to even art gallery directors or any big names. But the more stubborn she was, the more stubborn they became. I was sure she would be stressed out by all the adults pestering her with their demands in all kinds of ways.
My heart fluttered with anxiety. Maybe because I was her childhood friend who understands her more than most, I had a hunch that this would all turn wrong.
***
During the winter break of my sixth-grade year, we entered the “Children’s Future Painting Contest”, a contest aimed for elementary school students. I didn’t qualify, while; Yuri got the first prize.
Though disqualified, I was taken to the Sapporo Art Museum as Yuri’s friend. I couldn’t help but mutter “Wow” when I saw Yuri’s painting, which stood out among the numerous outstanding entries.
Yuri’s F20 canvas was displayed in a noticeable area of the museum. No, I don’t think it was just the location that made it stand out. The fact that the piece was also eye-catching was a testament to Yuri’s ability again.
But the artist who drew such a touching picture seemed to be in a very sour mood. She was being photographed by a lot of cameramen, and even though she was dressed in beautiful garments, she had an impassive look on her face.
My stomach began to churn with worry as I wondered if there was something wrong, but then I heard our painting teacher talking to a very high-profile old man.
He smiled at Yuri, but I found his smile strangely physiologically unpleasant.
“The next thing I want you to do is to draw a picture of a marine creature for the Environmental Art Exhibition at the end of the year. and also emphasize the concept of ’freedom’. You know, the head judge, Mr. Takashima loves marine life.”
I might be the only one who noticed.
The last glimmer of light disappeared from Yuri’s eyes.
As if in that moment, the carefree Yuri noticed the irony of the chain of so-called “freedom”.
***
My suspicions had come true. From that day on, Yuri wouldn’t pick up the paintbrush by herself anymore.
“Why aren’t you painting? Are you saying you’re tired of painting? What about the promise you made to Utako?”
I thought it would be counterproductive if people nagged her to draw because of her carefree and self-centered personality, so at first, I just kept an eye on her. But after two months without drawing a single picture, I had to say something.
“Why do I need to tell you, Sousuke? Do you want that promise to become chains that further bind me?”
She sneered at me; her expression colder than I had ever seen.
“I’ll keep telling you to draw no matter what you’ll think of me. And I’ll do this until you can enjoy drawing again!”
Yuri left without replying.
Even now, I was still chasing after the look of pure joy she used to have when she’s drawing, and the brilliant paintings she breathed life into.
***
In the letters I regularly received from Utako, she wrote that she was studying hard to make her dreams a reality. Every time I heard from her, I became irritated by the fact that Yuri had tried to break her promise.
I was so frustrated that while I’m trying to get better at painting every day, I still got less appreciation than Yuri who refused to even hold a paintbrush.
Our relationship had become strained by our complicated emotions, and our relationship stayed that way all the way to our second year of junior high school.
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