Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Pain. Pain. Pain.

Everything stung with excruciating pain, but it also spread a numbness that started with the soul.

His throat filled with warm liquid, he choked on it as he laid on his back on the cold ground.

The snow smacked his face like small swords.

Pain. Pain. Pain.

A car stopped and a man hopped out only to jump back into his vehicle, he watched as the man drove quickly away. 

The snow swirled around him.

It was beautiful.

‘I wanna go back.’ He thought to himself.

Before that incident, before everything.

‘I hope I can treat her right in my next life.’

As his breathing came to a stop and the snow was colored red, he saw his life flashing before his eyes.

He was born, he grew, someone left, he grew some more, and then he fought like crazy.

Then, it stopped.

The smell of books and the warm bed from his childhood. These memories prevailed in every corner of his mind, he thought of them constantly.

He wanted to stay in this one moment just a bit more. He didn’t want to go just yet.

A little longer.

He clutched the blankets tightly with his hands. He’ll move on to the next moment soon but he held onto the blankets like it was his last life saving straw.

“What are you doing?” A woman’s voice sounded in his ears and like it was a clap of thunder he rose his head in sorrow.

“Mother.” He croaked.

He jumped up from his bed, but he got his feet tangled and landed face first into the floor.

“Oh my gosh! Are you ok?!”

“Mom.” He called out while sobbing.

His mothers face looked at him worriedly then within moments he was encompassed in her arms. He could smell her favorite perfume and the warmth that she radiated.

“Shh. See, you're still a kid. Did you have a nightmare? Want mom to feed you something good?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He sniffled and he still held her tightly, not letting go.

She said, “You gotta let me go if you want food.” 

He unwillingly let her go. He didn’t know if this was the afterlife, a dream, or even him just being stuck in a moment of time. But he didn’t want to leave.

Never.

Standing up he glanced around his room, it was an exact replica from his childhood. The poster of the famous actor Jarold Hee, a guitar, even his lucky baseball bat.

Looking into a full body mirror in the corner of his room he saw his younger self. He would at most be 13-14 years old, he hadn’t received that long scar to the face yet.

He smiled and the boy in the mirror smiled back.

‘Am I back?’ He questioned himself.

He pinched himself.

It hurt.

‘I think I’m back.’ He thought hopefully.

He truly with every fiber of his being hoped he was back.

Making his way out of his room he looked around the small home him and his mother lived in. It was worn down by time, but it held a noticeable homeyness only the person who grew up there could feel.

He looked into the kitchen and saw his mother bustling about. He walked in and began prepping the vegetables.

“When did you become so sweet? Weren’t you mad at this mother of yours just yesterday?”

“Was I?” He asked.

“Yes, but even if you do this, I really can’t buy you that pair of shoes.” She said while looking at him with sad eyes.

It hit Carter like thunder, he remembered arguing with his mother about a pair of shoes. All his classmates had gotten a pair from the same brand and he felt really left out.

He was the only one without a pair. After arguing for a few weeks he eventually got a pair, but it was all for naught because no one really cared at that point.

His heart ached.

He had said some terrible things those few weeks. He even heard her sobbing by herself in the middle of the night. He hadn’t apologized because his pride was too high.

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He felt his tears sting his eyes.

“I’m sorry honey, but I really can’t afford them. How about I get them for your birthday that’s coming up?”

“I-it’s fine mother, forget the pair of shoes. I’m really sorry for how I’ve treated you. I’ll make sure to make dinner for you tonight and clean the house. You just lie down and relax.”

His mother looked at him warmly with her crow feathered eyes.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you but I’ll take all the sugar I can get. Haha.” She laughed and hugged him.

He smiled at her, and continued to help in the kitchen.

It seemed he wasn’t too far along in the past, he wasn’t at that point in time where he was a bully, came home late, and stole money from his mother's purse.

‘Thank god.’ He thought to himself. He could still change everything.

He slowly started to accept he had really come back. The day quickly ended and the house looked cleaner than ever. 

Dinner was a delicious creamy potato soup.

He had made this because in the future it was the only thing that padded his stomach in sad times after losing his mother.

Food became obsolete, when it was time to eat time would just pass him by and he’d forget to in his sorrow. His stomach started gathering issues after so many missed meals.

When he tried a bowl of creamy potato soup at a small restaurant, he’d suddenly felt his appetite.

He didn’t know if it was because of the frail woman who reminded him of his mother or just the atmosphere.

The potato soup had celery, carrots, and onions. With bits of bacon on top. They added a nice savory taste to the otherwise creamy meal. The veggies gave that slight freshness.The potatoes were the exact amount of mushy warmness when bitten into.

His mother had scrapped two bowls clean and looked at him in surprise. “When did you become such a good cook?”

He answered with a smile, “I watched a few videos, it was really easy.”

“Oh. I think you can become a cook with this talent of yours.”

He only laughed at her and went to clean the dishes. His mother smacked his hands and said “No no no, you go sit down. I can’t let these old bones of mine go rigid.”

He obediently sat on the living room floor. He watched the television for a few minutes but grew bored.

He couldn’t help but smile to himself.

He was back.

“Carter, head to the market for me and pick up some vegetables for tomorrow.”

“You got it.” He grabbed the list his mother handed him and made his way out the door. Everything lined up with his memories.

His old bike was up against the house, and the neighbors dog, Henry, was barking up a storm.

He took a deep breath in and slowly exhaled.

The sun was slowly seething.

He rode his bike to the market. His phone beeped in his pocket, and he went to reach for it.

“Hey man!” A young boy's voice came out of the phone.

“Hello, who’s this?” Carter asked.

“Cmon bro, it’s me! Derek!”

Carter's eyebrows furrowed in annoyance and he hung up instantly.

Bad memories made their way to him.

Derek was the start to his misfortune, he actually thought of him as a friend. He could only ruefully laugh at himself.

‘I should avoid him at all costs.’

His bike soared down the street and stopped at a street filled with people. He locked his bike onto a nearby pole.

“Fresh tomatoes! Super fresh!”

“Eggs that have just been laid!”

“Sugar Rocks! Blueberry Sugar Rocks!”

The screams of vendors combined in an annoying symphony. He could only walk down the street and listen the best he could so he could hurry up and leave.

As he was choosing eggs from a vendor, someone suddenly tapped his shoulder. 

“Hey! Why’d you hang up dude?”

Turning around, Carter came face to face with Derek.

‘Fuck.’

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