Chapter 5: Eijiro’s Early Guide on Becoming a Man

The Gate Of The Middle School, Five Minutes before the beginning of the School Reopening Ceremony

 

Kirishima Eijiro, known to pretty much anyone who would speak to him for longer than five minutes as just Kirishima, had a very weird morning.

 

First, he had woken up half an hour earlier than normal. Which in itself would have been a boon, had he not already finished all the preparations for his first day in his new school the day prior. But he had, so he just laid in bed waiting for his alarm to ring as he thought about his future and what would lay in wait for him.

 

“MEN WITHOUT CHIVALRY ARE NOT MEN! ONLY WITH CHIVALRY CAN YOU BE A TRUE MAN!!!”

 

Kirishima jumped straight up from his bed, and slammed his fist on his alarm, all the while taking a deep breath in.

 

“SIR YES SIR!!! UNDERSTOOD SIR! ONLY WITH CHIVALRY CAN I BE CALLED A MAN!!”

 

Throughout the house, there were groans as the resident hyperactive goody-two-shoes got ready for his first day of school.

 

For some reason, they were not happy with his newly established morning routine. All the men of the family were booted from it at seven-thirty sharp. This was not a metaphor in the case of the man Eijiro was proud to call his dad. He got kicked out of the house to catch his train on the way to work.

 

He had a spare set of clothes in a rental place on the way, where he took his morning shower and changed. Eijiro’s mom ran a tight ship.

 

The middle school he was going to was a bit far from home, about a twenty minute jog if he wanted a good morning workout. He was already freakishly early as is, so perhaps another day.  Eijiro decided that he did not want to be the very first person to be at school on the very first day.

 

So, he did the natural thing: he checked the amount of cash in his wallet and walked to the neighbourhood gym. The morning shift guard took one look at him before going right back to reading his magazine which was some fashion magazine featuring various female Heroes. most prominent of all being the semi-retired Lady Midnight.

 

It ain’t like Eijiro could blame the guard. Lady Midnight kept herself in excellent physical conditioning, although her training regimen wasn’t known to the general public. Not that people looked into it all that much. They were more interested in her fashion choices (weird, but understandable. Women are weird in Eijiro’s experience.), her diet (this one is understandable. One needs a good diet for optimal muscle growth! As Crimson Riot says, to fight better than anyone else, one must first learn to eat better than anyone else.), and the one he simply could not wrap his head around, her stylists!

 

Why on earth would people want to know the stylist of their heroes? Makes no sense.

 

Eijiro shook his head as his undisciplined thoughts tumbled all over themselves, jumping from one train track to the next. He took the stairs to the gym, right up to the fourth floor.

 

He got there within three minutes and swiped his card, giving enough money for an hour and a half. Enough to get a good workout and a good bath after. As said by Crimson Riot, ‘cleanliness is the first step in proving one’s own maturity, and brings one that much closer to becoming an evil villain’s ass-kicking badass hero’.

 

Eijiro did not wish to strain himself too much today. After all, he didn’t want to miss his very first day of middle school. It would not be very manly of him to do so. He was not a kid anymore! 

 

No matter what his dad said! 

 

The fact that he loved to use pink dolls for his epic castle-games did not make him a child!! It just meant that he does not like using stiff robots, when cool pink superheroines could do the job!

 

He kept grumbling as he stripped to his boxers, folding his clothes before laying them flat against the floor. Wouldn’t want to get his brand-new school uniform wet and smelling of his sweat on the first day of school after all.

 

And so, he began his usual stretches, going through various poses to stimulate different muscles, letting himself properly warm up. As he did so, a person walked out of the corridor meant for baths. It appeared to be a gold-ish green-ish-blue-ish white-ish - rainbow haired boy with a long ponytail, wearing a boy’s uniform from his own new middle school!

 

The boy seemed to be quite engrossed in his phone, with the cord of his earphone jack visibly plugged in, though his ears themselves were hidden away by his hair. Eijiro could understand why he was not willing to cut his hair. It looked utterly badass! If his hair looked like that, he would not be willing to cut it either.

 

“Hey! Rainbow hair!”

 

Eijiro walked up to the boy, who had snapped away from his phone and was looking at him. He had on his face his friendliest smile as he walked towards his schoolmate. But for some reason, the boy’s hair had turned into a bleached white from its former assortment of colours, before shifting drastically in tones between pink, blood-red, (like the Crimson Riot!), blonde like All Might, back to red, before setting down in white.

 

Before he could say anything, the boy took off his earbuds, shoving them in his jacket, took his hand towel in hand while removing said jacket, and threw them at the coat hanger next to him.

 

The jacket and the towel both landed perfectly. On two different coat hangers. How utterly badass was that!? Eijiro opened his mouth to complement the exemplary show of skill shown by the huge bomb in a tiny package.

 

Before he could even get a single word out, all he saw was a flash of orange light before darkness embraced his consciousness. 

 

When he woke up, he was at the other end of the gym, next to his clothes.

 

‘Ouch, that hurt. What’s the dude’s deal? This ain’t how you talk to classmates!’

 

When Eijiro looked up, he saw the boy, his  hair now a furious shade of hot-pink for some reason. And he was…hitting his forehead with his phone? 

 

Was that some kind of new training regimen? 

 

Walking over, he saw the boy’s hair steadily getting lighter and lighter in tone as he approached Eijiro’s position.

 

Upon reaching Eijiro, though he had to pause several times as his hair struggled between pink and some other colour, though pink was winning by far, he squatted down before Eijiro.

 

“So, Mr. Pervert. What on earth were you thinking?” he spoke in a surprisingly high-pitched voice and a face that would have looked more alive had it been carved from stone. “Were you going to peep in on some girls in the bath after an exhausting workout? Also, what is your name? How should I have it reported to the police? Is it Hentai Otoko, or Otoko Hentai?”

 

Eijiro tried to say something in response to the accusation, that he was merely working out in the gym, before looking down and remembering what he was wearing.

 

To his spectator, Eijiro seemed to have turned into a fish out of water, before looking down, and turning as orange as a clownfish, and then proceeding to act like a clownfish out of water. Very amusing, if not for the fact that the sole spectator was hopping mad at him.

 

“I-I-I ge-get what this lo-looks li-like bu-but”, Eijiro hardened his palms and slammed them against his face, using the pain to scare away his awkwardness, got up from his spread-eagled position against the wall, sat in seiza (A/N-vajrasana/ the weird leg-killing seat posture on the floor the japanese love so much.) and hit his head against the floor, without hardening it. “I’m so sorry boss! I thought I was all alone here today!”

 

“Huh, really?” The manliest middle schooler Eijiro had ever met with a weird Quirk that probably caused rainbow hair seemed confused. He paused for a bit, his hair colours shifting from being pink-focused to being pink-accented at the very tips, with most of it being various shades of blonde.

 

He squatted in front of Eijiro, and in a voice that might scare Crimson Riot himself,“I suppose I’ll forgive you this time. But the next time you even think of disturbing the public peace for no reason other than your own sense of aesthetics? I will find you, and I. Will. Make you wish you had asked for Death.” 

 

Eijiro, still seated in seiza, though in an upright position now, contemplated the words said to him, before shrugging and shouting out, “Yes boss! I’ll make sure to check first from now on!”

 

The boy sighed, “now that we have that out of the way:the name’s Akira. Dress up. I have some time to kill, so let’s test our limits together.”

 

“That… isn’t what I,” the manly kid seemed thrown for a loop by his declaration.”… You know what? Forget it. I’ll be sitting by the shoulder press.”

 

Eijiro blinked at his boss and dressed up, forgoing his blazer and leaving the three top buttons on his shirt unbuttoned as he went to where his boss asked him to go.

 

 “Oh, seems we are in the same school in the same year. What a wild coincidence.” His boss noted, getting a quick look at his own blazer.. Eijiro watched as his boss’s hair was again trying its best to outdo a rainbow, with wild patches of various colours all over it.

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His boss noticed him looking at his hair and twirled a finger around a stray bit of hair that hung about his face. “It is unnecessarily exhausting for me to keep this in control, so please do not get too distracted by my hair during our workout.”

 

“Yes, boss!” 

 

For some reason, Eijiro’s boss glowered at his address of him and said, in a somewhat high-pitched voice. "My (Boku) name is Kawaii Akira, you can call me either Kawaii or Akira, I don’t mind.”

 

“Yes, Akira-san! You can call me Eijiro!” This seemed to placate Eijiro’s boss at least a bit.

 

They then proceeded to challenge each other’s limits across multiple machines, with Akira winning every single time.

 

“It’s is my Quirk”, he explained away, but that did not explain how he won in reaction-speed. 

 

He clearly trained a lot! Eijiro’s respect for his new friend-cum-boss increased the more they challenged each other. It was a sign of a boy becoming a man when he can swallow his pride and understand that there are those who are better than him.

 

Also, interestingly enough, Akira didn't sweat a single drop throughout. In a session that lasted over an hour and half.

 

After their joint workout, Akira told him to stretch to cool off while he bathed. For some reason, he told Eijirou to not come in while he bathed? 

 

Maybe he was shy? 

 

Whatever. Eijirou wasn't interested in guys anyway.

 

Akira came out of the bath within five minutes, dressed up and ready to go. He gave Eijirou his regards and walked peacefully out of the gym.

 

Eijirou looked at his watch, and sighed. He was going to be late, unless he cheated a tiny bit. Cheating may be a bit unmanly, but being late when it was possible to avoid it was more.

 

He went to the bathroom, and closed the door behind him. Weirdly enough, the bathroom looked totally unused, despite Akira clearly using it not a minute before him. Maybe they had some new kind of cleanup routine that does everything extremely quickly? He did not waste any time thinking useless thoughts and used his Quirk, Hardening, to harden his skin slightly, all over his body, allowing him to use the rough brush to scrub his whole body clean in seconds.

 

He finished his bath in record time. Dried up, dressed up, only to realise he left his blazer out beside where he had performed a minor bit of property damage. He walked outside, trying, and failing, to tie his tie properly. It took him seven attempts to make a knot that looked at least somewhat passable, and picked up his jacket, along with his bag, which contained his phone, a lone book, a pen, a pencil, an erasure, and a scale. He had enough for at least a week of school!

 

Speaking of bags, Eijiro did not remember his boss having any bag on him. He checked the time on his phone as he thought about where his big bro could have possibly kept his bag.

 

He froze when he saw the time. It was three quarters past eight, and the ceremony was set to start at nine, on the dot.

 

Fuck.

 

Eijiro flew down the stairs and out the door, before turning left, and running full speed in the direction of Mustafa Middle School. He made it to a block from the school in ten minutes flat. A brand new record for him!

 

Eijiro turned the corner, with the school finally within sight, just as the Last-Call bell rang, five minutes before the closing of the gates. He saw his boss get bumped up into someone, fall down, offer his apologies like a proper man, while also slipping out of his shoes for some reason and throwing them up via his feet, and disappear in an orange flash of light.

 

Huh. So his Quirk is some kind of weird flashbang? Awesome!

 

Eijiro expected many things from his friendship from his boss. He got mostly what he wished for.

 

With the sole exception of a ‘brother’-in-arms, the depth of whose friendship would make even Crimson Riot jealous of the sheer manliness!

 

(A/N- well, Eijiro… I’m sorry but… Ya know what? He’ll figure it out. Hopefully before high school.)

 

Eijiro entered the school, but before he did, he noticed a scorched mark on the floor in the shape of a pair of tiny footprints. Maybe Akira’s Quirk was stronger than he thought?

 

He followed the directions to the amphitheatre, a perk of getting into a middle school of some renown. He was late, so he could only get a seat at the back, but he was not bothered. A true man is not bothered by something so inconsequential due to their own fault.

 

He sat down, and surprisingly enough, found that he had an extremely good view. Huh. So the seats at the back were the best ones?

 

He sat down with a militarily precise posture for over twenty minutes as the principal droned on and on and on and on and on and on and on and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

 

“And now, the address by the Student Representative of this New Year, Kawaii Akira-Cha-Kun.”

 

Well, that woke Eijiro right up. Akira must be absolutely livid after that. Why on earth would the Principal address a man amongst men as a girl? Also, Akira was Student Representative? Good for him.

 

Meanwhile, about five rows in front of a certain muscle brained idiot, a certain music lover instantly parsed together the clues and came to the right conclusion. She grinned like a villainous smile as she brought an unwitting new best friend into her exciting life.

 

For some reason, the Student Representative shivered and dropped his papers. He got down and collected them extremely quickly before addressing his new schoolmates for four years to come.

 

“I thank my mother and elder brother for their help in making me the way I am. I hope we shall all get along well in our lives as middle schoolers together. Thank you. I(Boku) am Kawaii Akira. Anyone who dares call me kawaii(cute) will receive a special present each time they do. Signing off.”

 

Leaving a dumbstruck audience behind him, the student rep walked off into the darkness, not to be seen again for the rest of the presentation by any of the students.

 

Needless to say, Akira got into loads of troubles in their stints in middle school.

 

What happened in his first Sports Day Festival? Why does no-one speak of it to him, ever?

 

What happened on another school’s School Day Festival in his third-year, that only he knows about?

 

Why on earth does Eijiro not piece it together till after he finished middle school?

 

What happened in his third year that suddenly mellowed him down and even made him a bit… effeminate?

 

Why on earth is his hero suit a literal mech-suit? What does she wear underneath? Are we dipping into R-19 territory?

 

Will. There. Be. Romance? (A/N- The answer is- hey, where are you taking me? Let me go, lemmegoooooo- Sorry peeps, editor here, author-san had to go on a break for some reason. Mmph! Mph!pph!  He will be back soon, ciao! Mmph mph!)

 

Unfortunately, we will only answer two of these questions. Next time, on BFDOTQW, man that is a mouthful.

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