Chapter 5: 2.3

Chapter 2: Cheating is my strength! (Part 3)

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I can feel a burning determination from Haze. Haze really only has eyes for me, like a sunflower. Her <Devotion> is true to its word. If you’re devoted enough, you can even say you’re blind to everything but the subject of your devotion.

To life, or even to the heart. Nothing is an exception.

‘As soon as I’m done scouting my territory, I’ll need to change Haze into clothes that fit her position. A girl with such disposition doesn’t deserve to be at such a low level as a maid.’

I plan to give her the position that fits her best.

Although she’s worked perfectly fine as a maid, she has far greater potential. To run a territory, it’s more important to have a talent than a maid.

“Haze, when you bring the bean meat, please bring me all the documents you’ve taken care of.”

I ask Haze for additional requests other than cooking. As soon as I finish dinner, I plan to look over the documents and try to get a good grasp of the current status of my land.

“Let’s eat first.”

It’s a thoroughly unappetizing meal but I pick up my fork and grab a bunch of vegetables.

“Ugh, I don’t like the smell of cucumbers.”

“Sigh, there are eggplants too?”

“This carrot— it’s bitter!”

“Ah, really! Do I have to eat like this?”

It seemed nice to make a firm decision to change my diet, but now that I’m actually eating, all I see is a plate full of vegetables I hate.

“I really want to cry right now.”

I forced myself to take a bite of the vegetables and munched on them as I sobbed.

Just then, pungent smells and strange flavors invade my mouth. It was still fine eating familiar vegetables until…

“Pft…! Ack, what’s this thing that tastes like rotten cheese?!”

“It smells like an armpit on a hot summer day…”

There are some unique plants that exist solely in the world of <Paradiso>—they’re plants that are known to amplify the effects of dieting, but every time I eat them, the taste is unbearable. It smells and tastes like a caterpillar that only lives on rotten bark. It has a strange texture, like that of a booger that leaked from a runny nose, and it created a feeling of terrible nausea that would arise from sticking your nose into a mixture of soybean paste and spoiled milk. 

Even if I thought of eating it to live, its horrible taste causes anger to soar to the top of my head.

“Ptooo!”

In the end, I couldn’t stand it and spit out everything I had in my mouth. It tastes so bad it’s already quite fortunate I didn’t vomit. 

“No, I can’t stop already. Again, let’s try this again.”

I slap both my cheeks and brace myself. 

“Urgh. Urghh, ugh.”

And for a long time, the noise of gagging continues to sound from the office.

[The effect of eating meline herb has promoted the ‘Fat Decomposition Activity’ state obtained through acupuncture.] 

[The body has entered the state of ‘Promote New Metabolism’ with the effect of eating aspa leaves. Double the normal amount of calories will be consumed!]

[Intense stimulation is activated. 450g of fat was immediately decomposed and discharged!]

“Wow, I lost more!”

As soon as I finished eating, I’d lost weight as soon as I received the system message.

The vegetarian diet is definitely worthwhile. The system gives an immediate reward of weight loss.

The taste was so bad I had to swallow back curses while consuming the meline herbs and aspa leaves. Fortunately, the bean meat that Haze prepared is so delicious, that it makes the horrible memories of the vegetables disappear.

For the time being, I’m going to order Haze’s special stir-fried bean meat for every meal.

Haze enters the office as I appease the disappointment from the meal with a cup of tea after dinner. There are stacks of files in her hands.

“Ack, I’m sorry. I have a small body and small hands…”

As she says, Haze really has a small frame. Even her hands are small and thin like a child’s. Well, not everything is small…1 but anyways!

“Give it here. You can give it to me.”

I casually walk over and take the documents from her. However, Haze gives me a look of surprise.

“Master! I’m sorry! I should be doing my job properly…”

“Why? It’s fine that I help you when you need extra hands. Don’t worry too much.”

“That’s… whenever this happened in the past, Master would…”

Haze trailed off at the end of her speech but I immediately realized what she meant because it was something I did to her. In the past, I always became furious when something even slightly annoying happened. 

I was a mess.

But that’s who I used to be, not who I am now. That won’t happen again now or in the future.

“It was hard, wasn’t it? I’m sorry, Haze. It won’t happen again in the future. If there’s anything else I did to you in the past, I will take this opportunity to apologize to you for my actions.”

I sincerely bowed my head and apologized to her. I wasn’t bluffing.

It was my way of saying thank you for always not complaining and being dedicated to serving the old me, who had been nothing short of a complete mess.

“Master… heuk, I’m sorry. I was so moved that tears just appeared.”

“Many things will change in the future. That means you’ll be given a lot of work, so always be on alert.”

“Yes, Master! Please feel free to call for me!”

Haze is once again full of spirit. Seeing how she’s so full of energy, I think it’ll probably be okay to make her work hard for the time being. Since there are more than just one or two things to check in order to understand the situation of the territory, she’ll be a great help.

A few hours later.

Creak, creak.

“Jesus, really.”

After sitting in a chair to look at the documents, I get up in annoyance. Due to all this fat, my butt was stuck in the chair. So, after plopping down on the floor, I continue to look at the documents.

The documents that Haze brought contain various information about the territory. The more I read, the more my expression stiffened. I eventually came upon a map and was able to check the location of where my territory is.

“This territory. I remember what kind of territory it was. I think I might be ruined. Sigh.”

The place I’m currently in is Caribia Territory. This is a place that was classified as an F-class territory among the others. An example of some words that could describe it would be as follows;

Coldness, barrenness, despair, poverty, destitute, looted, raids, fleeing, nightmare.

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Can you see a positive word? If you can’t, then you’ve seen correctly. Caribia Territory is located in the northernmost part of the Nasu Continent.

Half of the year is winter, and the other half is an early spring kind of weather. It’s a barren territory.

Farming? Impossible.

Seeds often freeze before they sprout, and even if the weather is good, they don’t last long due to pests. Therefore, the main source of income for the land is not agricultural and commercial activities through grain production, but external economic activities. The list is as follows.

One, collection of taxes and tolls from monster hunters who come to catch the monsters in the Forest of the Nightmares.

Two, receiving part of the taxes off of profits made by the nobles.

That is all the income for the land.

I look out the window at the sky and speak resentfully.

“Oh, dear God, did you reincarnate me to die twice?”

The bloody sky of the territory is cloudy and eerie but they say today is supposed to be one of the best sunlit days of each year.

‘If time goes by like this, I’m 100% confirmed dead. No, I might die twice. Death from natural causes, or from a citizen who will rebel and butcher my body!’

Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!

I couldn’t hold back my anger and punched the floor.

From this body to the territory. There’s nothing that’s favorable.

‘No, no. Come to think of it, there was a cheat related to territories like Caribia’

At first, I couldn’t remember well, but as I pondered over it, several memories came to mind. 

Like Caribia Territory, the other territories at the northernmost tip of the continent are barren, but there is a cheat that allows them to be used in other ways. For example, an underground resource event, they have special minerals that others have not found! The minerals can then be put on sale at very high prices, so you can make a fortune.

However.

‘My level is the problem. You can’t use such a cheat when you’re only level 1.’

I sigh. There are so many cheats that come to mind, so many good things about the territory, but I can’t use them right now!

Leveling up is required, and in order to do so, targeting a dungeon is essential. But look at my stats, excluding mana and wisdom, everything’s the lowest of the low.

If I were to compare it to a historical strategy simulation game, my stats are so terrible I would want to put the game down and forget about its existence.

‘Jared is ridiculously well-suited for the role of an extra. It’s amazing.’

I burst into laughter.

While I’ve always lived thinking that I’m the main character of my life, in the world of <Paradiso>, I am just an extra. It’s fortunate I even have a name, “Jared,” instead of something like “Territory NPC 69.”

First, let’s set up a draft for the plan. I don’t have time to lament. If I don’t quickly adapt to this world, I’m a goner for sure.

Even in the modern world, I didn’t want to die such a ridiculous death, and yet I’d died of overwork in my previous life. I don’t want to be known as one of the numerous extras in <Paradiso> who simply poof after their part is done on top of that.

I don’t want to face an ending where the lord of another region captures me and giggles as he gives an order to behead me!

‘Let’s solve the issue of my obesity first. The fact that my charm stat is 0, when I’m a lord of a territory is the worst. No one would want to work for me.’

[Extreme Obesity]

I ponder on this problem as I stare at the warning message in the stat window.

The curse of zero attractiveness will be lifted only when the state of <Extreme Obesity> is removed. My current state makes me frown. The feeling of having 0 attractiveness cannot be described in words.

This is basically saying that I can’t even be treated as a person. Such a thing is absolutely unacceptable.

“First, the top priority is to resolve my obesity. We’re already using acupuncture as a weight loss cheat. Let’s add exercise to this.’

Goal one: losing weight. 

This was one of the biggest problems on Earth and is now one that I must solve now.

“If I can’t solve this problem, I’m trash. Perfect trash!”

I smacked myself hard.

‘Secondly, I need to strengthen myself by taking advantage of all the bugs and cheats I know. Dieting and Mind’s Eye are just the beginning. In order to become strong in the future, I can’t avoid any means or methods.’

Goal two: stat growth. 

I need to find something that will grow my current stats to at least a well-rounded state. When people find out that the lord who leads them is a weak man, contrary to what you might think, rebellion in small territories is more likely than not.

In <Paradiso>, it was often that I would hear news of a coup d’etat in a small local territory. I would click my tongue every time I saw the names of the lords as they changed rapidly. I wondered how they’d lost their lives to their subordinates so easily after managing the territory like a dog.

But now, as someone in their shoes, I’m not in a position to talk about others. 

‘Thirdly, I need a lot of talented people to support me. As it is now… If there’s a war, my butlers would have to go out and do the fighting instead.’

Goal three: recruit talents. 

Right now, the territory’s talent pool is as disastrous as the barren territory’s condition.

‘The b******’ that I woke up as has been a slob managing the territory, so there aren’t any talented individuals nearby.

It’s necessary to recruit talents regardless of whether they’re ranked F or S since it’s possible to nurture them by my side, even if they are not necessarily greatly talented.

In fact, I had a lot of experience in <Paradiso> employing and fostering talented NPCs into hidden gemstones.

My proudest memory is the thrilling experience of the time I raised a guy who was F-class into A-class. The process of growing people is complicated and difficult, but I have various routes and methods that have been tried and proven in <Paradiso>, so I can definitely take advantage of them.

‘Fourthly, once I’ve finished recruiting talents to some extent, I’m going all-in to strengthen the territory.’

Goal four: territory growth.

In fact, this will be the most difficult part.

Climate, population, location.

It’ll be a very difficult challenge to transform this territory, where everything is disadvantageous. Of course, cheats exist, but I can’t even dream of using them at my current level.

‘If I readily prepare for these four points, I should at least be able to withstand the attack from the demonic race. After that, then… the main character will take care of the rest, won’t they? They’re the main character for a reason.’

I concluded my thoughts at that. When you’re not the main character, you have to worry about your immediate survival to be confident. It’s easier to leave the more difficult issues to the main character and think about what might happen afterward later.

But for now, this is the best plan. Why? Because I’m just an extra in this world now.

‘Good. Let’s get started! Jared, you’re going to be reborn! That’s the first priority!’

And so that’s how my ambitious plan to adapt to reality began.

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Translator’s Notes:

Naughty, naughty -_-

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