Chapter 45: About vegans, beauty, and wild Mexican beaches

It took us about an hour to process Norma, most of which we spent on letting the symbiote study the subject's brain in detail. This creature can indeed monitor the thought process in the human brain. Of course, we are not talking about a literal reading of thoughts, and thank goodness, otherwise Venom would be too creepy, but it is quite capable of recognizing various thinking patterns. Naturally, to enable her to do so, we had to awaken and put Osborne to sleep several times, as well as to force her to switch between personalities. She had a tendency to do the latter herself, however, sometimes several times a minute. Had it not been for the drug that forced the woman to obey my commands, this might have been a problem.

While observing the woman's brain, another pitfall, previously unknown to us, came to light. It turns out that during sleep the personalities in Osborne's brain could contact. Observing Norma after I ordered her to sleep, the symbiote noticed that the chaotically changing thought patterns were not just alternating, but influencing each other. This is exactly what I was afraid of. Had it not been for the symbiote's capabilities, the drug-inhibited personality of the villain would have been able to interact with the original consciousness during sleep, thus nullifying all my efforts. And instead of the calm and healthy Norma Osborne, a maddening thing would reappear.

Fortunately, we noticed this flaw in the plan in time and managed to tweak the settings. Given the interplay of personalities in a woman's brain, trying to suppress her violent alter ego would be like turning Osborne into a time bomb. Sooner or later, the serum's distorted consciousness will erupt, and everything will go back to normal.

So we did the trick. I used the drug to suggest to Osborne's other personality that she had won and that her plans were being successfully carried out. As long as Norma is awake, the Goblin will think that everything around her is just a dream. And every night of the real Norma will turn into a day for Goblin in her imaginary world, where she and the Spiderwoman fight each other endlessly. In this way, the two minds will not interact with each other even in their sleep. Osborne's serum-enhanced brain could handle such a load, and the only weakness of such a plan remained the dreams of the real Norma.

You have to admit, it's strange to have the same dream every night in which you're a villain terrorizing the city. I suggested suggesting that we make Osborne think she has a sleep disorder and tell her to take her "dream pills" every night, but Venom found a better solution. A colony of her cells in Norma's body would block the woman's dreams on its own, and Osborne would only have to develop the habit of eating a hearty meal before bedtime in order to supply the parasite with the necessary nutrients.

Finally, we made the woman forget the events of the last few days by suggesting that she had gone to a wild beach in Mexico to relieve her stress, where she'd been boarding until she was attacked by a white shark, which caused the woman to sit on a rocky island for the rest of the time, until she tricked the predator and escaped. It wasn't my idea, but I couldn't stop Deadpool's exuberant imagination in time, and Gwen and Bobby also helped the mercenary embellish Norma's "vacation" with details.

Apparently, they were hurt by the mention of their fathers' sexual liaisons with spiders and cuttlefish, respectively. Having loaded the woman with this baggage of memories, we dressed her up in light beach clothes, and then Bobby, in a rented cab, drove Norma to her house.

"Do you think this will work?" Gwen asked doubtfully, looking at the car moving away from our porch.

"I don't see why not." Deadpool shrugged, then added, "And now I could use some food."

And then, without waiting for us to react, she went home.

Gwen and I were left alone in the lawn outside the mercenary's house for a while, the high fence and sprawling maples providing some protection from prying eyes, which, however, were not to be seen in the neighborhood, for the place was quite quiet. I sensed a certain stiffness in the girl, as if she didn't know what to do when she was alone with me. Neither did I, as a matter of fact! If Gwen Stacy were here with me, I wouldn't hesitate for a second to ask her out again... yes, I definitely would, but it wasn't Gwen, it was Spiderwoman. She and I had kissed once, and the newspapers had dubbed us a couple, but it was all spontaneous, and we hadn't even crossed paths since, except for that brief phone call.

Oh, I shouldn't expect Stacy to take the initiative. She doesn't seem to have much experience with guys; she was much more relaxed in the last world. It's a joke, being able to pull a nerd like me out of his shell! She succeeded.

"What are you sad about, Spidey?" I asked, leaning sideways against the trunk of one of the red beauties. It's not the most luxurious way to start a conversation, but I can't think of anything better.

The girl shot me eyes, I certainly did not see it, but I guessed by the quick turn of the head.

"Don't call me that! It's a stupid nickname," Stacy replies with a note of displeasure in her voice, but at least I managed to shake her up a little, and this displeasure, I think, is contrived.

"Why? Isn't it better than Spiderwoman? You know, I'm not comfortable referring to you that way. It's a nickname for newspapers, not for socializing, how about Spider-Girl, Spidey, or..."

"Stop! Stop," Gwen interrupts me, "that's enough of that! No Spidey and other silly nicknames, please."

"But I had so many other cool ways to... okay," I paused again. Why can't this conversation ever work?! We're standing here like two teenagers.

"About..."

"Look, um..."

We start at the same time, but we interrupt each other and stop talking. I give Gwen a chance to say what she wanted to say:

"I wanted to say: you guys work well together. I mean, Deadpool and Venom, you know: I never would have thought they could be on the same team, but you seem to manage somehow."

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"I try," I shrugged, "and you and I seem to be doing pretty well, too, don't we?"

Stacey clearly picked up on the ambiguity of the phrase, but I didn't pretend to say it by accident and continued my thought:

"Do you want to join us?" I asked straight out, and before Gwen could answer, I added, "The whole town is already talking about the fact that we're together..."

"So that was your plan?" Stacy asks with a sly look in her voice, "First you got me hooked with your inventions, and now you lure me right into the lair, what are you up to, Peter Parker?"

"Isn't it obvious," I maintain her playful tone, "that I'm luring you into my web."

"And what do you want to do if you catch me?" she moves provocatively close to me, practically pushing me into a tree-it almost looks threatening...

I put my arm around her waist, leaning in to face her. Our lips are separated by only a few inches of air and a thin layer of fabric.

"I haven't looked this far," neither true nor false, "but right now, I want to kiss you."

But I don't try to remove her mask, my hands are still on Gwen's waist. Make your move, Spider-Girl.

Gwen presses her forehead against mine, I feel her anxious breathing, and finally she reaches for the bottom edge of her mask, slowly begins to lift it...

The squeak of brake pads comes to our ears. Gwen immediately bounces away from me like she's afraid of getting burned.

Damn, Bobby, what a bad time!

Seeing Stacy and me outside, the girl immediately recounted the results of the trip: Osborne, on the way home, came to her senses and realized what had happened to her in Mexico, and then, as if nothing had happened, pulled out her phone and called someone, demanding a report for the past days. The spy-symbiote in the woman's head had been monitoring her condition the whole time, and if anything went wrong, it would knock Norma out instantly.

Gwen carefully pretended to listen intently to her new friend's story, though I'm sure her thoughts were far removed from Norma Osborne and her fake memories.

Upon our return to the mansion, we were all in for an unexpected surprise from Deadpool. No, this time it wasn't a prank or even another silly joke. But the surprise we felt when we saw that Wanda hadn't just ordered a pizza from a nearby store, but had made some meat snacks for all of us herself, was like thunder from out of the blue. Not that Wilson did anything incredibly complicated... but it's Deadpool! No one would have thought she could cook anything other than warmed-up pizza and chilled beer!

"Wow," Bobby whistled as she looked around the table, "cool, is there anything without meat in it?"

"Are you a vegetarian?" Gwen exclaimed, staring at Bobby. She obviously couldn't associate Venom's toothy grin with vegetarianism.

"Oh, don't worry," Wanda drew Bobby's attention to herself, "when I cook, I always leave vegans a choice."

"Really?" she looked at the table with suspicion and nothing without meat was on it.

"Of course!" Deadpool cheerfully confirmed, "vegans either eat what I cooked, or go fuck themselves!"

"I expected to hear something like that," Bobby grinned wryly, "but it's not that I'm a vegan, I just don't feel like eating meat after that hospital massacre... well, I think I can handle it."

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