Chapter 34: Chapter 32

Lee led me through his compound and showed me some of it while we both prepared to speak to the people gathered outside. We walked for a while, comfortably exploring the different buildings. He showed me the cisterns, rain-catchers, the condensation gatherers, the solar panels, and windmills. 

Every-building was made from tires filled with sand and various chunks of garbage mixed into concrete. 

Lee explained that the buildings faced the optimal direction for natural climate control, based on the manner of construction. The hills soaked up heat all day, protecting the structure from it, then at night became a warming element. Like a hot water bottle, the walls radiated gentle heat through the structure. Each building gathered rain and produced its own electricity as well. I realized as I enjoyed my tour that these hippies had been dead on about how to live in order to survive the end of the world.

Once my tour was over, Lee led me up to the front again and we climbed the wall to the top of their large metal gate. Lee took some time hauling himself up the ladder rungs, and I followed after. 

I looked out over the gathered people in front of the gates. Their vehicles were filled with food, and several of them were eating bread or raw vegetables. I saw plenty of injuries, and many of them looked dirty and exhausted. A few of them even had children. As Lee began speaking, I noticed my golf cart was parked facing away from the gate and had been filled with woven baskets and large jute bags of food.

“People!” Lee waved his arms to get their attention, and his hobbs snapped to attention. They watched the gathered crowd as a threat, but I did notice an external perimeter, protecting them too. “Everyone, please.” He stopped waving his hands and leaned on the metal railing. “We have a fix! Luck sent us someone who can help!” There he stopped and gestured at me. I awkwardly smiled and offered a small wave.

“Are you going to let us in?” A sullen voice from the crowd shouted it, and Lee sighed and flinched.

“No, we don’t have the ability to take anyone on. I told all of you, I am deeply sorry, but I cannot take anyone in.” Lee slung an arm around my shoulders. “But that’s why Tyson offered to take everyone in!”

That got their attention. The crowd erupted in noise and then quickly hushed as I allowed Lee to push me forward to the railing.

“Hi.” I started. That stupid smile and wave again, but this time they all very clearly saw it. “Umm. I manage the Happy Trails Campground, and we have plenty of room for everyone.”

Gasps rang out in the gathered crowd, and I saw more than one hobb look relieved. The gathered people murmured and hummed among themselves, and I got a decent idea of how many there were while they talked. A quick head count told me there were at least sixteen different people, spread out among five vehicles. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that there were more, I couldn’t see the interiors of their vehicles well.

After their initial shock, I raised my hands to get them to quiet down and continued. “I really can’t promise anyone much. We have sites, no water or power, and some security.”

“Well, what the hell does that mean?” Somebody shouted. Sounded like it came from near the only diesel pickup truck out front. My eye twitched.

“Well. It means that we’re trying to build something out there. Right now, it’s having walls put up, so at least it’ll be safe from those crazy ground wasp things, those seem terrible.” I was trying to think of what to say next when Lee stepped up and waved his hands for attention.

“People. We’re all out here doin’ the best we can. We can’t take you all in. Tyson’s saying he can.” Lee grew stern. “This is the world as it is now. Best to take what shelter can be found.”

I saw a number of faces go blank and I knew BuyMort had chosen this moment to try and sell them lodgings. I waited a moment, letting those ads and their prices sink in.

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s about the shape of it. I can’t promise you a safe environment because I dunno what’s around the corner next. We’ve got some problems there right now, but it’s a decently safe place, compared to the open road.” There I paused. I had their attention. 

“Anyone who comes to stay will be welcome to do so, under some pretty normal restrictions, of course.” I snapped my fingers. “Oh, we have kind of a slime problem right now too, so you guys’ll have to be careful until we can burn em out. Just get a security hobb if you see one, they get squirrely if you confront ‘em.” With that, I ran out of things to say and started chewing my lip instead.

They were quiet for a few seconds before someone near a station wagon piped up in a small voice. “Slimes?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Kinda dangerous, but mostly just annoying. We’re working on chasing ‘em off. Right now, they’ll try and steal anything they can from you, and the goop they leave behind is caustic, so . . . yeah.” I took a breath and started again. “We have a security team, and we know some ways to get rid of ‘em, so it’s not a huge deal.”

Lee stared at me, eyebrows furrowed. I stepped back and looked at my feet. In the silence that followed my statement, he clapped his hands. “Better than nothin’ folks! They’re building a wall, that’ll protect you from the land wasps at least.”

One of the kids in the back started crying, and an adult went to shush them. I sighed and stepped back up to the railing. “Look, you guys. I’m not much for this kind of thing, and I’m sorry. I don’t have a lot to say that’s comforting. We have space, some tents, some air mattresses. You guys are welcome, and it’s safer than out here. That’s pretty much it. You want in, come on with me, I’m pulling out soon.”

With that, I turned and left the railing, heading back down the ladder. Suzanne waited for me below and she patted my shoulder gently. “You did good, honey. It’s okay, public speaking is hard for everyone.” I looked at her and couldn’t help but smile. I wasn’t sure if she was all there or not, but I found it hard to be in a bad mood around her.

“Thank you, Suzanne. I appreciate the kind lie.” I turned to leave, and a hobb in armor approached. He was holding my shotgun and bandoleer, and I accepted both as Lee climbed down the ladder behind me. As I slung the item around my shoulders, Lee approached. He stuck out his hand again and nodded at me, a somber expression hiding behind his drooping mustache.

“Thank you, Tyson. Thank you again.” When I let him take my hand, he pumped it heartily and clasped it with his other hand. The sincerity was killing me. It actually made me suspicious.

“Right, of course. Hell, thanks for the food. I’ll be in touch soon, don’t worry.” I reached in my pocket and produced my psychic cell phone to shake at him. “We can just use our trapped psychic god to reach out.”

Lee snorted. “I look forward to that.” He finally let go of my hand with a final nod. The old man went and stood beside his wife, and gently put an arm around her shoulders. “We’ll let you know if anything comes our way you should worry about.”

I nodded and slid my phone away. No need to disturb the interdimensional deity on the other side of it, I guess. “Yeah, same here. You guys stay safe.”

The gate slid open in the center and I walked out of the compound. A small crowd of people were gathered, waiting for me. I saw several faces that were strange to me, but totally familiar at the same time. The Arizona faces were weathered and uncomfortable, sick of the sun, and beyond annoyed with the idea of being out in it any longer. Black, brown, Asian, white, whatever else was mixed in the crowd. All of them were united in their hatred of the noonday heat, and their desire to be elsewhere. I thought of Lee’s cool office room and sighed as I started through the gathered people.

Once I got to the other side of them, I stopped and turned around to look again. All of them were staring at me, expectantly. I had the image of baby birds in my head for an instant but waved it away and faced them. “Right. I’m taking the golf cart, and it doesn’t go very fast. Sorry, but you guys’ll have to just follow along behind.”

I saw a lot of nodding heads, and more than one set of narrowed eyes. My golf cart stood in the middle of the road, facing away from the compound, forest green siding shimmering almost iridescent in the noon-day heat. I sighed and decided that I should get something better for making these trips. The helicopter uber ad from before came to mind but it wouldn’t work with this many people anyway. As I sat down, I hungrily eyed the big diesel truck. It was a newer Chevy, and the open cargo area was large. It was also stuffed with these peoples’ belongings, which made me hesitate. We could talk about possibly using it to make the food runs later. I needed to get these people back to Happy Trails, and the BlueCleave mercenaries that would protect them from ground wasps, slimes, and whatever else came at us. I wasn’t thrilled about the situation at that moment, but I couldn’t just ignore the people.

A glance at my psychic phone screen and the mounting world-wide death toll further secured my decision. I had to try and help. We were dwindling fast. 

Once the golf cart got up to speed, it felt quite brisk. I had a nice warm breeze to help me with the midday heat, and the road zipped by at a quick pace. Then the assorted vehicles behind me got moving, and we formed into what had to look like the dumbest convoy of all time.

You are reading story BuyMort: Rise of the Windowpuncher – How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona. Apocalyptic GameLit at novel35.com

I led in my overstuffed golf cart, fresh banana in hand as I munched happily, cruising along at a brisk twelve miles per hour. Behind me was a battered station wagon with peeled plastic-wood siding, a brand new looking oversized pick-up truck, a rusting minivan, and two four door sedans that I hadn’t seen closely enough to identify. They were both beige. We cruised slowly through the Arizona afternoon, inching away from the hippy commune. When I called a halt in the middle of the road well before we arrived at the campground, it was just before two-o-clock in the afternoon.

AFFLQWST pinged my brain.

Quest - Your affiliate has been taken over by a hostile mercenary force. No one has been harmed, but all are being restrained. Military force is not a viable option, any victory would be pyrrhic. A lack of lethal force indicates possible peaceful intent. Attempt to come to a peaceful outcome.

REQUIREMENTS:

1. Re-acquire affiliate assets.
2. Broker a peaceful outcome with the occupying force.
3. (Optional) Ensure employees are not harmed.

PROBABLE OUTCOME (95%) - Alliance with new affiliate. Afflqwst special item.

Awesome. I shrugged and hoped I would be naturally good at negotiating. Still, the screen gave me a lot to think about regarding the capabilities of my new app. It knew things that were extremely handy, and I imagined it was interfacing with BuyMort in everyone’s head to gather and compile this knowledge. Specter had done a good job modifying this thing. The information was genuinely helpful.

I looked up at the huge, black creatures in the air above the campground. I couldn’t tell what they were from a distance, but they looked like giant birds of some sort or other. In fact, they reminded me of the ravens. My blood ran cold as the giant birds noticed our convoy and all altered direction at once.

I got a pretty good look at the one that knocked me into the dirt, when it landed. It was huge, eight feet tall when standing, with a massive wingspan. It had humanoid limbs. Arms and legs covered in another form of that same black composite armor I kept seeing. The creature’s rib cage was different shaped though, pointy somehow. Its breastplate extended out in front, into a ridge, and its head loomed over the top. A long black beak jutted forward as the creature landed in front of me. Like a hybrid dinosaur, in armor. It was holding a black rifle with a glowing barrel tip, and as it landed, it pointed the weapon directly at me.

“CRAW!” it demanded. When my only reaction was to widen my eyes, the creature took a step forward on long legs and rammed the butt of its rifle into my midsection. When I doubled up with a cough and fell to the dirt while clutching at my guts, it repeated itself. “CRAW!”

From my position in the dirt, I watched as several more of the bird-man creatures landed and began brandishing weapons at the convoy. A window smashed and a woman screamed behind us. 

My shotgun and bandoleer were stripped roughly from me, and the birdman kicked me over to peer intently at my starfish suit. It raised a foot and plucked at it with a toenail, then clucked in surprise when the metal resisted his attempts to pry it up. After it deliberated briefly, the creature decided to just keep its weapon trained on me. The weapon shoved in my face smoldered at the tip, and when I caught sight of the inside of the barrel, it looked like something glowing hot was seated in the back. 

Before I could really catch my breath from the cheap shot to the gut, I was dragged roughly to my feet. Honestly, I was just happy it wasn’t enough for the starfish suit to activate. I didn’t want to see this thing’s reaction if it did.

I got a better look at what was happening as we were marched away from our vehicles and toward the campground. There were at least twenty of the winged aggressors, and I didn’t see any way to fight them successfully yet. 

I needed to find BlueCleave first. 

As we approached, I noticed the mud-crete wall on this side had been completed. A new gate similar to the one that adorned Mr. Sada’s driveway was mounted where the old iron bar used to be. We approached and stopped.

“Craw!” The birdman at my back screeched up at the top of the wall, and the gate swung open. It extended out toward us, and from the campground another three birdmen with guns approached. The one at the lead had marked feathers, flecks of deep crimson speckled his neck, head, and back. He also bore scars on his exposed face, and one eye had been torn away by something. The bird man had replaced it with a mechanical version that gleamed with red light.

This newest birdman looked us all over with his mechanical eye, letting it flash in each of our faces, and then gestured with his head and a loud click of his bird tongue for us to head inside. Someone in the back mumbled something about the campground being ‘really safe’ so far, and I flinched as I heard a rifle butt strike home. The heckler grunted in pain but stayed quiet after. 

One of the bird men stared menacingly, clicking its tongue sharply at the person. But parents were allowed to handle children, and the creatures treated them far more gently, so I did some breathing techniques and calmed down. There was no reason to think we were being executed, yet.

We marched with our hands behind our heads into the campground walls, but as each of us approached, plastic zip tie manacles were applied to our wrists. Their commander inspected my starfish suit as well, and similarly clucked in confusion at it before disregarding it and sending me on to keep the line moving. 

We marched past a squad of the birdmen in armor, and I watched in fascination as one secured its weapon to a chest loop and then took to the sky with a heavy leap. His wings buffeted us with wind as he flew by overhead and went to fly our backtrail. They were being thorough.

I was glad to see the wall didn’t extend all the way around the property yet, but only a single side remained to be completed. Our gobb squad was nowhere to be seen, but the BlueCleave hobbs were lined up on their knees in the road on the other side of the gate. Each had their weapons and armor carefully placed on the ground in piles in front of them, aside from four who wore what looked like their version of street clothes. 

I guessed they had been off duty at the time. 

Hord was beyond them, in the same position, with Doofus laying down at his side and panting in the midday heat. Mr. Sada was at his side, seated in a folding metal chair with his arms crossed over his chest. He glared at me when he saw me, but I didn’t care. I was staring at what they had done to my friends.

Molls was underneath a net, her coils pinned to the ground. She appeared to be unconscious, I could see her chest moving rhythmically with each breath. 

Phyllis was under a similar net, but I noticed hers was attached to a sizable generator, and it sparked regularly. 

The bird men were suspiciously absent from Molls’ area, in a large radius, but several surrounded Phyllis just in case she broke loose. Her mech seemed to be attempting movement but stopped anytime the net sparked. 

I gritted my teeth but walked on at the prodding of my bird man captor. There had been a trailer hastily set up in the campground, directly on the side of the small Joshua tree covered area the campground ravens always hung out in. Some things began to click for me when I saw several of them preening on the deck of the trailer. The campground ravens had somehow coordinated this coup, and this was their headquarters.

It was essentially a box on stilts, with heavy metal siding and a sturdy looking security door. I was marched up the steps to that door while almost the entire group of our campground ravens preened furiously. 

I say most of them because their leader was missing. The bigger one who always gaped his beak at me. 

But I suspected I knew where he was, and when the door whooshed open, my suspicions were confirmed. The little bastard was in there, beak agape, staring at me while I was escorted inside.

Beside him, on a stool, sat another birdman. A bird woman this time. This one wore a suit that ended in a pleated skirt and had lighter feathers, tinged with gray. The only way I could tell their sexes apart was dress, and this was the first one to speak to me. She regarded me evenly, and then offered a hand for me to shake. 

“Hello Tyson, my name is Sheena, and I’m with Translacore. I’ll be providing an accurate, professional translation for your interaction with Darclau. He already knows English quite well, so I’ll mostly be translating for you, but any more complicated concepts will require some translation for him as well. It’s nice to meet you.”

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