Chapter 21: 21

Christmas fell on Sunday… January 1st was also on Sunday…

 

After a meaningless first day of the new year, the night shift ends today. 

 

I was exhausted from going to work in the middle of the night and leaving early in the morning when the cold wind howled outside and my bones aches. Because there were few logistics employees, my body ached from the constant movement.

 

I had a nosebleed for the first time in almost a year on Monday, so I went to an oriental clinic in the afternoon for acupuncture. I made it through each day with the help of friends, painkillers, and flirting with my crush.

 

Coffee and desserts given by a new friend are also essential, although I haven’t yet spoken with Park Ho-in informally.

 

Once, I asked, ‘Should we speak informally?’

 

‘Ah, that, then, Seo, Seo-yu ssi should start first.’

 

I stopped because of that reaction. 

 

I felt guilty about eating it every day, so I went out and bought a set of nutritional tonics when I got home from work. Ho-in was so moved that I felt sorry for him. As he murmured thank you so much, his face seemed exhausted.

 

Ho-in offered me coffee and sandwiches with dark circles down to his chin when I arrived at work today. I was concerned about his bloodshot eyes and dry skin.

 

I generally get to work at 23:00 and leave at 8:00, but it was exhausting to see that the cafe was always open when I arrived.

 

“Ho-in ssi, wouldn’t it be better to have the closing time was earlier or the opening delayed? If this continues, you’re going to faint.”

 

“It’s okay. Starting next week… I can close it early…”

 

“Is there any reason why you can’t close earlier this week and last week?”

 

“That, that, that’s not it.”

 

Ho-in looked surprised at my question. His eyes shook, and his face turned bright red as he averted my gaze.

 

As I got close, I found out Ho-in had a chaotic atmosphere. He was easily embarrassed and his face flushed. I’ve always thought of him as a calm and friendly person, but I think I need to learn more about him in order to get a better understanding of him.

 

“Then take it easy. Have a good weekend.”

 

“Oh, Seo-yu ssi that, on the weekend, an appointment. Of course, you have it, right?”

 

“What’s with the question? Haha, I’m so tired that I’m going to rest at home. Ho-in ssi, do you want to go on a date with your lover?

 

“But I don’t have a lover…”

 

Ah… perhaps they’ve already broken up.

 

I was too rash. As soon as I was about to apologize, Ho-in suddenly asked.

 

“Do you have a lover, Seo-yu ssi?”

 

“Well, I don’t have a lover.”

 

“Really?”

 

“There’s someone I’m slightly had a fling with.”

 

“Oh, is that so…”

 

Ho-in’s expression changed in an instant. It brightened up for a moment and then faded away again.

 

“If it’s a fling… Was he the one you spent the last hit cycle with?”

 

“Yes, we were together on my heat and we also spent Christmas together.”

 

It’s a bit embarrassing, but there’s nothing I can’t share with my friends. However, Ho-in’s expression had hardened slightly.

 

“Did you spend Christmas together?”

 

“Yes …”

 

I don’t know why, but his tone has changed. When he stared at me with his bloodshot eyes, I was a little scared. When the smile of the person who was always smiling was gone, they became as cold as ice.

 

He might have thought I was rubbing salt in his wounds because he was a solo.

 

I should tell him how empty this flirting was.

 

“But my crush is an extremely dominant Alpha, and I’m a recessive Omega. There’s no way it’ll go any farther than this, so we’ll just meet casually. Would the extremely dominant Alpha be interested in something like me? Haha.”

 

“No way… You like each other, it doesn’t matter if you’re dominant or recessive and Seo-yu ssi is so charming.”

 

“Thank you for your words, but there is a level, so we have to find someone who’s within our means. I think I look good with a dominant Alpha.”

 

Ho-in bit his lower lip in response to my statements. His eyes look pained for some reason.

 

Did I say something wrong? I rarely talked to Omega, so I’m not sure what to say.

 

“No, Seo-yu ssi. Whether you’re extremely dominant or recessive, it doesn’t matter if you’re in love. People like people.”

 

“… “

 

“Even if it’s not extremely dominant and extremely dominant, or if it’s not Alpha and Omega… If you’re an Omega and love another Omega, it’s love. Gender means nothing, nothing to human emotions.”

 

I couldn’t open give my response easily. It was said that these days, the number of romantic relationships between people of the same gender has increased. However, this problem was not at that level.

 

Choi Sung-hoon and I… were not at a level that can be overcome with new ethical standards and courage. This is a matter of reality.

 

It’s not even a stage of such passionate love.

 

However, Ho-in’s red eyes and the tip of his nose did not come off easily. He looked desperate. He’s like someone who’s been through that sort of thing.

 

I felt like he was going to shed tears at any moment.

 

I was curious and envious since I had never had such a desperate desire for love.

 

***

 

I intended to spend my weekends resting at home, but I was ready to go out on Sunday morning. It was because I had something to do.

 

After brushing my teeth and washing my hair, I sent a message to Sung-hyun.

 

[What color do your older brother like?]

 

Sung-hyun-i [Why????]

 

Sung-hyun-i [I don’t think my older brother likes any particular color?]

 

Sung-hyun-i [ Why?,?]

 

There were three messages in a row. In a cute way.

 

[To give him a scarf]

 

[Your brother gave me a lot of things, hehe]

 

Sung-hyun-i [If it suits my brother’s eyes, it would be enough]

 

Sung-hyun-i [When are you going to buy it? Today?]

 

[Yeah, I’m going to buy it today]

 

Sung-hyun-i [I want to go too]

 

Does this guy have nothing to do? I get a reply within a minute every day and able to schedule an appointment the same day.

 

I prepared myself after we planned to meet at a department store near Hapjeong. I took off the patch and took a few aspirins pills and contraceptives that I had been taking for over three weeks. I had planned to visit the hospital over the weekend, but something came up, so I’ll have to wait until after work next week.

 

I wore a heavy long padded coat and a fur hat when I left the house. Of course, I didn’t forget my fur gloves. I almost missed the stop because I was dozing off on the bus.

 

When I went to the cafe on the 8th floor of the department store where we were supposed to meet, Sung-hyun was already there. He was sitting arrogantly with his legs crossed in a black coat and looked like a perfect adult man at first glance, except for the baby fat and a young expression that had not yet faded.

 

When the person who was thoroughly enjoying his meal noticed me, he shouted to call me and pulled me to the restaurant. I’ve never considered stepping in… because one Yukgaejang was worth 80,000 won here.

 

Of course, I should treat him because I was older.

 

He brought me to a huge room while rubbing his full stomach through a door and down a specific path. The space is spacious, with only one table and mirrors on all sides.

 

There was calm piano music and subtle lighting. The staff took orders without a menu, so I asked for an Americano roughly, but it was too bitter for my taste. Sung-hyun ordered a cafe mocha, but when I frowned and looked for sugar, Sung-hyun clicked his tongue and exchanged it with mine.

 

As I was taking a couple of sips of cafe mocha, the employee came over and handed out the catalog.

 

“Didn’t you say you were looking for a scarf? Take a look here.”

 

It was a collection of winter accessories like scarves, belts, and gloves. I carelessly glanced through the catalog.

 

“I don’t think I should be the one to view it. You’re the one who knows what kind of style your older brother prefers.”

 

“I have no idea what my older brother likes. He just doesn’t like anything.”

 

“As expected, a psychopath…”

 

“Huh? What did you say?”

 

“Isn’t the weather really nice today?”

 

I pointed at something roughly, trying not to provoke this brocon.

 

“How about this? I think gray would look good on him.”

 

“Of course, my brother will look good in any color. But, Hyung have you looked at the prices?”

 

Of course, I am. The one I just pointed is 6 million won and the one next to it is 5 million won. The back page is 800 won.

 

“What money are you going to use to buy it? Hyung, you’re a poor person.”

 

“Speak nicely.”

 

“Do ordinary people spend this much on scarves these days? Is it something I don’t know well?”

 

I took out my wallet as I looked at Sung-hyun, who was really curious. When he noticed the ten million won gift card he had given me, he exclaimed, “Ah!” and then looked with a puzzled expression.

 

“You’re going to use a gift card? Isn’t it a waste? It isn’t available for purchase on the market. Are you really going to use it to buy my older brother a present instead of shopping for yourself? You know my older brother has a lot of money, right?”

 

“Yeah, I’ve received something from him, so I have to spend this much.”

 

“What did you get?”

 

“You’ve got a lot of questions. Just let me know whether it will suit your brother.”

 

“There’s nothing that doesn’t suit him.”

 

I shouldn’t have taken him just because he was available.

 

I was staring at him, but Sung-hyun showed an unexpected reaction. He didn’t come out blatantly or stare at me, but he did give me a worried look.

 

“Hyung… you’re still like… that?”

 

“What? What did the youngest curious about?”

 

“That… you still want to die, don’t you?”

 

He took my hand to see how I  perceived it after I shut my mouth since I was speechless.

 

“Does it make sense that the snob who shut up his mouth for 10 million won for an unlicensed high school student who got into an accident while driving is now attempting to give that money to a very wealthy person? Losing greed for money means that you have no will to live. Don’t die. How many good things do you have when you have sex with people? Think carefully. I mean, go back to that memories.”

 

This kid… Are you turning me around now?

 

I slapped his hand and gave him a pathetic look. I was tired and didn’t have the energy to get angry, so I quietly said, “Get out of here if you’re not going to help me.” Sung-hyun just began to think seriously after that.

 

It was very convenient to shop in which the personnel presented it to me after I chose something from the catalog. I sat still and looked at scarves from five brands. In the end, there were two things I chose, and I spent 10 million won in a tight fit.

 

“Why do you buy two? One of them is to hang yourself and commit suicide?

 

“Stop it…”

 

I was the one who tried to commit suicide, but I think this guy is the one suffering from insanity.

 

The employee brought two packed shopping bags. I think I can stay longer in this quiet space when I see them leave their position to rest.

 

I opened the shopping bag and handed one of the scarves over to the person staring at it.

 

Sung-hyun was shocked and trembling after that.

 

“What? What the fuck? Do you want me to die with you? No! There are so many things I haven’t done in the world. Don’t die!”

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“Oh, you crazy guy. It’s a 20-year-old gift. Take it when I give it to you.”

 

“… Gift?”

 

Sung-hyun took it with hesitation.

 

“Congratulations on turning 20. As you said, this poor guy made a big decision, so use it well.”

 

Ten million won was his money anyway, but I used it to the fullest. I didn’t think it was a waste at all.

 

I was planning on purchasing a nice sofa or something like that with the gift card, but there was no need for that now.

 

“Ah… Really, what is this, Hyung? How can you make me feel so moved like this?”

 

Sung-hyun quickly smiled. He was really cute. I was also satisfied to see it carefully packed into his backpacks.

 

“It’s my first gift since I turned 20.”

 

“Didn’t you get anything on the first day?”

 

“I got it all in advance, so there was nothing. My dad and I were the only ones eating out that day, and the atmosphere was a mess.”

 

Sung-hyun had a cocky expression on his face, as though he remembered the atmosphere at that time. It was fascinating to watch how his expression changed as I grew older.

 

“My dad, it must be some kind of middle-aged depression. I thought I was going to die of embarrassment because he was crying so much.”

 

“Your father cried? Is it because you turned 20 years old?”

 

“No, it’s because my mom didn’t show up on New Year’s Day, and he cried because he couldn’t see her face. Oh, and Mom knows that if she doesn’t come, he’ll cry.”

 

“…”

 

What with this family…

 

I thought I shouldn’t know about it more, so I asked another question.

 

“Why didn’t you invite your older brother to join you for eating out?  You must have been upset.”

 

“Even if I call him, he won’t come. The last time I saw him was almost a month ago. When I saw you with my brother. Hyung, Christmas is your last day seeing him, right?”

 

“I meet him yesterday.”

 

“… What?!”

 

Sung-hyun jumped out of his seat. I was worried his eyes might pop out since he seemed so shocked. He asked me what time, where, and how I met his older brother, so I told him because there was nothing to hide.

 

In fact, it was for this reason that I spent a total of ten million won today.

 

When I returned home from work yesterday, there were two cars parked in a tight alleyway. The first was a black sedan, while the second was a ladder car.

 

As I approached, I was greeted by a huge man dressed in a suit that matched the sedan perfectly. Choi Sung-hoon frowned as he stood in the morning sun, which was dazzling.

 

He pointed to a ladder car, saying it was a New Year’s gift. In my life, I never thought I would get a ladder car as a gift, but it wasn’t, and the large furniture on it was the gift.

 

The owner’s grandpa came out at the sound of moving items and returned with envy.

 

A leather sofa and massage chair entered the living room.

 

The uncles left after cleaning the living room

 

Choi Sung-hoon casually moved around the living room and kitchen, opening and checking the refrigerator. It was fortunate that the dishwasher was empty because I didn’t eat anything.

 

Then, as soon as I awoke from my trance and tried to offer him coffee, he left, saying that he had to leave right away.

 

He appeared and then disappeared like the wind.

 

I had a lot of thoughts as I stared at the leather sofa and massage chair that didn’t fit in the living room of the old detached house. I thought of my parents among them.

 

If my mother and father had seen it, they would have loved it. They would have bragged to my relatives that their son received this as a gift from an extremely dominant Alpha. How would my brother react? My brother, who was always worried because I was a recessive Omega.

 

After so many thoughts, I came to the conclusion that I should reciprocate Choi Sung-hoon’s kindness.

 

I wanted to give him a present in return. Even if it wasn’t half as much as I received.

 

“Oh, I’m so jealous. Good for you, Hyung. I also want to see my older brother’s face, hear his voice, and talk to him.”

 

Oh, I understood just how Sung-hyun felt inside.

 

“Try at least. If his little brother acts cute when asking him to meet, he won’t be able to ignore it, right?”

 

“What are you talking about. My older brother hasn’t looked at my chat for over a month, damn it.”

 

“…”

 

“Hyung, do you chat with my older brother?”

 

Choi Sung-hyun leaped to his feet and slammed his fist against the table as soon as I nodded.

 

“Show me! Show me! Show me quickly!”

 

He began begging like a child who couldn’t go past the toy area. Of course, I’m not going to give it to him. My message display was filled with filthy texts from ex-boyfriends. If I’m caught by my crush’s younger brother, I’ll leave a dark history that will never be erased.

 

“Oh, give it to me quickly, show me. I want to see it.”

 

“Are you crazy? Absolutely not.”

 

“Ah, why~~ I said I miss my older bro~~.” 

 

“No. Don’t make a cutesy sound and give up.”

 

Sung-hyun attacked using his younger brother’s strategy (a younger brother’s scheme that appeals with cuteness and acts pitiful), but I firmly refused.

 

Knowing that it would not work, Sung-hyun, who had given up his younger brother’s strategy, held out his cell phone.

 

“Then take a look, Hyung. Take a look at how mean my older brother can be! My older brother can compete in the Guinness World Record for the longest time spent not reading a message.”

 

A family chat room with four people was displayed on the screen.

 

I-.

 

“Hey, even so, family chat rooms are too private…”

 

Despite what I had said, I still look at it.

 

Dad [Honey… When are you coming back??]

 

Mommy [I already said before New Year’s Eve.]

 

Dad [I miss you ㅠ 0 ㅠ] 

 

It goes back from the last conversation,

 

Dad [Let’s eat out with family for Christmas>_<]

 

[Yes, Where are we going?]

 

Dad [What about your older brother?]

 

[Brother, please look at the message ㅠ_ㅠ]

 

…. 

 

Dad [It’s December 14th Hug Day >0< Let’s eat out to celebrate!!]

 

[Yes, what time is it?]

 

Dad [When is Sung-hoon going to be available?]

 

[Brother, please read the message ㅠㅠㅠㅠ]

 

Dad [Since December 2nd is the International Day for the Abolition of Slavery, >ㅅ< let’s eat out to commemorate it]

 

[Yeah, sure. Where?]

 

Dad [Sung-hoon, where do you feel most comfortable?]

 

[Brother, please read the message ㅠㅠㅠㅠ]

 

It was full of such conversations.

 

I went way back to November but 1 still hasn’t disappeared. 

 

It was a one-sided courtship in which the response was never given.

 

“Hyung, you’re chatting with someone like this… Good for you, It’s really… an honor.”

 

At this point, I really should think it’s an honor.

 

I returned the phone to Sung-hyun, who was envious and congratulated me for the special treatment.

 

“Your brother is definitely interested in me.”

 

“You’re keeping it a secret while dating my brother, right?”

 

“Crazy… What process did you go through to come up with such a thought?”

 

“Honestly, my older brother sent you a message and went to meet you. I’ve never seen him treat anyone like this before. This is a romantic relationship. Are you trying to fool me? You met me through my introduction. That would be too much.”

 

In the end, Sung-hyun acted as if he had been the organizer of my relationship, but I narrowed my eyes and folded my arms.

 

“Hey, high school kid, don’t overreact. It’s obvious that you want to see the message’s contents.”

 

“… Would you mind showing me some? I’m curious how my older brother treats the person he likes.”

 

The person he likes?

 

A grin escaped my lips.

 

I found another fact.

 

Well… Even if it’s a shallow interest, I’m sure it’s a good feeling.

 

Choi Sung-hyun, who had been clinging to me the entire time to show him the message, had returned home.

 

I spent 10 million won in a day, but I couldn’t think of anything about the money.

 

Instead, I was filled with other thoughts.

 

I lay for a long time on a leather sofa, thinking about the person who had given me this as a present.

 

He likes me.

 

Isn’t it funny? What’s there to like about me?

 

I was in an accident with his high school brother, attempted suicide, couldn’t remember his name, he was on the phone, and I mistakenly responded, drunk, vomited, confused with all the words, my family was a mess, and I cursed out my uncle’s boss…

 

Ah… damn… I don’t have anything that would make someone fall in love with me…

 

On the other hand, Choi Sung-hoon.

 

Choi Sung-hoon was…

 

I slapped the flushed face with my palm without causing too much pain. 

 

It’s only normal to improve thus much. He’s always very kind to me.

 

Anyway, his shallow interest won’t last long…

 

Let’s do better this time.

 

I need to reflect on the flaws that have been pointed out about me thus far, date beautifully, and break up properly.

 

With that thought in mind, I immediately picked up my phone and sent a message to Choi Sung-hoon.

 

[Choi Sung-hoon ssi, when do you have time? I have something to give you]

 

I sent a message and was ready to send a photo of the scarf package when I suddenly stops.

 

Because the next 1 disappeared as soon as it was sent.

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