Chapter 32: 32

From that day on, Ho-in did not appear at the cafe. I sent a text message because I was worried, and I have gotten a reply saying he was in his heat cycle.

 

Heat cycle…

 

After hearing the word I’d forgotten, I realized it was time for mine to arrive. It was initially irregular, but this time it seems to be extremely late.

 

Could it be because of the contraceptive pill?

 

I forgot to take the contraceptive pills for a few days last time and I am taking them again this time. So far, it was the first time I’d met an extremely dominant Alpha after only meeting dominant alphas or betas and taking the pills constantly like this. The reason why I don’t have much appetite these days maybe because of the contraceptives. I couldn’t help but take it and I don’t dare to ask Choi Sung-hoon to use a condom. I’m a recessive Omega, so my chances of getting pregnant were low, should I just skip the pills?

 

“What are you thinking about?”

 

I come to my senses after hearing his low voice. Choi Sung-hoon was in front, holding popcorn and a soda. I ordered the largest size, but because Choi Sung-hoon was holding it, it seems to be a child’s size.

 

“I’m wondering if I’ll fall asleep or not. Please wake me up if I fall asleep.”

 

“If you are sleepy, you should sleep.”

 

Choi Sung-hoon smiled and sat down next to me.

 

We came to the cinema to watch the movie all night.

 

Choi Sung-hoon was dressed casually in gray knitwear layered over a black shirt, black jeans, and black loafers. Of course, he didn’t forget the charcoal gray scarf that goes with it.

 

He caught the attention of others because he was so big and magnificent among the people alone. People would turn their heads away because they were afraid, they have no choice but to look again then avoid him again because they were afraid, and finally notice me.

 

They must be thinking that I don’t look good with him. How can something like me be next to someone like this?

 

I smiled and leaned on Choi Sung-hoon.

 

So what if I’m not good for him? I’m the one standing next to him. Wasn’t he a big guy? Wasn’t his shoulder incredibly broad? Look at his forearms, which were as big as my head. Could you see that he got me popcorn and drinks? He was an extremely dominant Alpha. He was more than just an alpha.

 

Everyone who looked at us turned red and turned their heads as I was filled with such thoughts.

 

“You must be having a good time. You smiled a lot.”

 

A big hand covered my face. Choi Sung-hoon was frowning when I looked up. He looks sexy like a dangerous beast…

 

“It’s my first time staying up all night watching a movie, so I’m looking forward to it. Choi Sung-hoon ssi, are you confident you won’t doze off? It’s until six in the morning.”

 

“Yes, I’m confident. Shall we go in now?”

 

Choi Sung-hoon stood up first. He also picked up popcorn and drinks. My heart swelled again at the little consideration. My ex-lover used to give me money to buy it on my own or let me carry it. I’m in trouble these days because I enjoy comparing my crush to ex-lovers.

 

Choi Sung-hoon was so big that he chose the last couple’s seat. Choi Sung-hoon and I were holding hands the whole time.

 

The first movie was sad. There was just an explosion, gunshots, and riots, but it was so sad that I felt like crying.

 

I was just sad.

 

Someday, the new crush will become the old ones… I hope that when I return to my original situation, this will be a beautiful memory rather than a sad one… Is it possible?

 

I couldn’t concentrate on the movie because of that thought.

 

I’m not sure how long has it been.

 

“…Seo-yu ssi.”

 

I woke up to the voice calling me.

 

“The movie is over.”

 

The surroundings were noisy. Choi Sung-hoon was tapping my mouth with a soft tissue.

 

“Oh, it’s over? What happened to the main character?”

 

“If it’s the first movie, he runs away from the organization successfully.”

 

“…”

 

His answer made me have an ominous feeling. Choi Sung-hoon looked at my churning pupil and showed me the screen of his phone.

 

5:45 in the morning.

 

“Why?”

 

It was time for the third movie to come to an end. I was so embarrassed that I asked as to why it had come to this.

 

“You slept well.”

 

“… ”

 

“Let’s go now. We have to eat breakfast. Wake up.”

 

Choi Sung-hoon was smiling, and my face was flushed.

 

* * *

 

Choi Sung-hoon invited me to his new house in Hannam-dong. It was an apartment with a swimming pool in the complex and a terrace with a view of Namsan Mountain. It was amazing how he got it in such a short time.

 

I spent the entire weekend at Choi Sung-hoon’s house and commuted to work from there on Mondays.

 

It was the first time we had spent the night together and went to work together, so it felt new.

 

Because our working hours were similar, when I buttoned my shirt, Choi Sung-hoon put his arm on the shirt as well. It felt strange because it felt like we were living in the same house together.

 

As I was getting ready to leave for work, I heard the bell ring, and then Choi Sung-hoon show up, but he was carrying a familiar lunch box. We used to eat breakfast together on weekends, but this was the first time we had breakfast together before going to work on a weekday. Because I was constantly starved at home.

 

I don’t have an appetite these days and can’t eat well because I keep getting sick, but when Choi Sung-hoon was by my side, I ate like a person who hasn’t eaten in two days. So I sat down at the table knowing that was going to be the case, but I was disappointed.

 

The smell was so disgusting and unpleasant. I kept getting nauseated and I covered my mouth.

 

“Seo-yu ssi, are you okay? You don’t look good.”

 

“I’m fine… But, since I usually don’t eat breakfast… I am not very hungry.”

 

“You’ve eaten well so far. If there’s anything else you want, I’ll ask him to bring another dish.”

 

“I don’t have time to wait. I have to leave for work. I’ll be watching you eat. Please eat my portion.”

 

“Can’t you even take a bite? If you don’t feel well, you should go to the hospital.”

 

“It’s because I don’t have a habit of eating breakfast.”

 

I smiled softly in a sense of reassurance. Choi Sung-hoon seemed dissatisfied.

 

“Let’s make it a habit to eat breakfast from now on. Anything else in our lives that is not coordinated is unacceptable.”

 

Coordinating our life…

 

Talking as if we’d be meeting for a long time made my heart flutter and hurt at the same time.

 

As usual, Choi Sung-hoon drove me to the company. I would see him again when I get home from work today, but it was upsetting to say goodbye for the time being.

 

The atmosphere in the office ahead of the Lunar New Year holiday was very chaotic. After receiving gifts for the Lunar New Year, everyone found it difficult to concentrate on their work. Of course, so do I.

 

I was nervous because tomorrow was the Lunar New Year holiday, and I had decided to go to Choi Seong-hoon’s house. Especially since Sung-hyun had been sending messages since the morning.

 

Sung-hyun-i [Hyung Hyung Hyung Hyuuuung hyung hyung hyung Hyuung]

 

[Why are you so loud?]

 

Sung-hyun-i [Hyung, can you come today????? Mom wants to see you]

 

[Why does your mother want to see me so much ㅠㅠ]

 

Sung-hyun-i [Hahaha, she got curious at the rumor that Director Choi is unable to live without you]

 

Sung-hyun-i [Oh, that’s right, even my dad quarrels with mom because of you]

 

[Why? Does your dad says he doesn’t like me?]

 

Sung-hyun-i [He was jealous because my mother wants to see you more than him. He wasn’t even that young anymore, but he was still so immature.]

 

I wondered why the hell his mother wanted to see me so much, and how envious his father was.

 

Sung-hyun-i [But he can’t even say anything, so he can’t pick a fight hahaha]

 

Sung-hyun-i [Can’t you really come today?]

 

Sung-hyun tried to use his younger brother’s strategy by acting cute again. I told him I’d see him tomorrow and ignored the next message.

 

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I skipped lunch because I was so nervous. I’m not sure how they’d react if they discovered that the person their son was said to be unable to live without was just a sex partner and the person who gave up their youngest son’s driving privileges who was still a minor.

 

I felt like I was going to vomit because of the excitement and tension of meeting the people who gave birth to and raised Choi Sung-hoon.

 

So I called Won-jo to vent this excitement and tension. He had sent me a message in the morning asking me to meet him tomorrow.

 

– Hey, shall we meet tonight? Club, go?

 

“No. I decided to see Choi Sung-hoon’s parents tomorrow. I’m invited to his house.”

 

-…His house?

 

“Yeah, his mother, who was on a trip abroad, also came to see me.”

 

– No, why would you spend the holidays with his family if you have nothing to do with him? You’re also a real scoundrel.

 

As expected,  Won-jo hit me with reality.

 

“Choi Sung-hoon invited me first, damn it. There are things that their younger son and I are intertwined with, and they must want to see me because I get along well with their blunt eldest son.”

 

– You must have said ‘yes’ in a hurry when he invites you, you bastard.

 

This bastard knows me all too well.

 

“Well, why not? Maybe his parents will like me.”

 

– Then what? What’s the difference?

 

“I’m going to tell you first. Wouldn’t he date me?

 

– Your nonsense is driving me insane.

 

“Love has nothing to do with being dominant or recessive, you punk. Please show your support for me as a friend.”

 

– Stop it. You’ll have an upset stomach when you eat.

 

I told Won-jo who didn’t support me until the end about what I’ve done so far. Choi Sung-hoon always drove me to work, invited me to his house, and wiped my drool at the cinema.

 

Who, who initially struggled to understand the subject, eventually became quiet and said, “Okay, give it a try.” Choi Sung-hoon’s actions were so kind to his sex friend that Won-jo became confused.

 

I worked hard again after I hung up the phone. My enthusiasm was soaring. Maybe the sky recognized my sincerity, because around 4 p.m., we received a call from the boss telling us to leave work immediately. The manager and staff all cheered.

 

Originally, the company did not have a gift for New Year’s Day and only gave more money, but gifts were distributed this year. It was a high-quality Korean beef set, so I decided to take it to Choi Sung-hoon’s family. 

 

[I’m done now^^~]

 

Choi Sung-hoon♡ [I’ll go now]

 

Choi Sung-hoon immediately sent a message of departure. The S&S, which shares the same name as a big company, appears to be a good company that offers free commuting.

 

I went to a cafe while waiting for Choi Sung-hoon, and Ho-in was there. After not seeing him for a few days, Ho-in’s face had become slightly sharper.

 

Was the heat cycle difficult?

 

He looked at me and told me to sit with my eyes beautifully curved. He eventually sat in front of me with two cups of citron tea.

 

“I haven’t seen you in a week, but it feels like a very long time.”

 

“I know, right. Ho-in ssi, you’re not sick, are you? Why are you becoming paler?”

 

“Well… I was sick for a few days.”

 

I was surprised and asked as to where it was and how much it hurt. Ho-in smiled quietly, but his eyes were not smiling at all, so he appeared cold.

 

Ho-in, who would have brought the topic first, was deafeningly quiet. I felt a little unfamiliar, so I only drank citron tea.

 

Come to think of it, the cafe’s atmosphere seemed to have changed as well.

 

The cute baby angel dolls and the warm and cute decorations also disappeared, making it a little bleak. Everything was gone except for the doll I gave him. It was there until last Friday…

 

“The dolls over there are gone. It was cute… ”

 

“Yes, I got rid of all the useless stuff.”

 

The answer was strangely cold.

 

“Did you get rid of that phrase too? There were good things written about love. It was very good. ‘Love is patience.’ … What was it?”

 

As I traced back my memory, Ho-in spoke up.

 

“… ‘Love is patience and endurance; Love blooms in the waiting;  Love always heads to a place with a gentle heart.’.”

 

Ho-in, who was reciting the phrase with his eyes down, raised one corner of his mouth and laughed coldly.

 

“I threw it all away.”

 

“… ”

 

“It didn’t mean anything. It was all useless.”

 

In the cold atmosphere, I said, “Yes…” I answered quietly and continued to sip my citron tea.

 

And there was silence. I don’t think I’ve ever been as uncomfortable as today while I was with Ho-in. I also realized how caring he was. Meanwhile, Ho-in had been talking to me first to alleviate the awkwardness, and he kept bringing up the subject. I think he’s in a bad mood, so I’ll have to try this time.

 

“We should definitely go watch the movie all night later. It was nice. It was a different experience.”

 

“… You must have been with that Alpha.”

 

“Yes, he liked it too. It was a good experience thanks to Ho-in ssi.”

 

“You said you weren’t a couple, right?”

 

His voice was sharp. I shuddered as I nodded.

 

Ho-in’s eyes were filled with ferocious energy.

 

“Seo-yu ssi, I’m really worried. He is an extremely dominant Alpha while Seo-yu ssi is a recessive Omega. You don’t think he’s sincere, do you?

 

Ho-in leaned his upper body toward me. I was taken aback by his abrasive demeanor. With a smile on his lips, he continued to speak.

 

“You may feel a connection now, but to that person, Seo-yu is just a joke for the time being. He was not only an Alpha but an extremely dominant one. They each have their own area. You are not a kid, you have to face the reality.”

 

Thump, thump, thump. My heart began to beat faster.

 

It was something I’d always heard from Won-jo, but hearing it from Ho-in was even more excruciatingly painful. The pain was similar to being scratched on the chest with a knife.

 

“Last time… You said it doesn’t matter. Love… have nothing to do with dominant and recessive…”

 

“No.”

 

Ho-in had a beautiful smile with his eyes bent, but it was so cold that I shivered. It’s like a cold wind in the dead of winter.

 

“The extremely dominant Alpha cannot be together with the recessive Omega, Seo-yu ssi. Just as Omega cannot be together with another Omega.”

 

“…”

 

“Stop now… Get a hold of yourself.”

 

I couldn’t respond to the sharp voice that seemed to come straight at my heart and pierce it.

 

I quickly said my goodbyes and stood from my seat. I hurried out without hearing Ho-In’s farewell and stood on the road where Choi Sung-hoon always picks me up.

 

The air outside was so cold that it cooled down my complicated head in an instant.

 

I was just confirming what I knew.

 

I don’t think Choi Sung-hoon likes me. He has a crush on me right now, but I am not under the impression that it will last forever.

 

As Ho-in said, I know that it would be the curiosity of a bored extremely dominant Alpha who has everything.

 

However… We were adult Alpha and Omega… Choi Sung-hoon was so kind to me… Because I was introduced to his family for the first time… I guess I was expecting a lot more.

 

It’s as if someone has scratched my heart with something sharp.  I don’t have anyone. There was no one to share the pain. I lost them all a long time ago.

 

My stomach was throbbing.

 

I covered my stomach and squatted down.

 

People glanced at me and passed by.

 

The cold February wind blew at me, bringing me back to reality in an instant. As if to tell me… The bitter winter wind reminded me that it was not yet spring.

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