Chapter 4: Chapter -1.2

My sister and i have a very distinctive characters . I was exact opposite of her . She was very shy kid and ane of a biggest pushover . Ah ... I think she is still a pushover even now . 

My mother was a very beautiful westerner woman but she was an orphan . I don't know where she was raised because she didn't talk about that place to us . Due to her birth condition she wasn't that very welcome in my father's family . My sister and me took after one of our parents . My elder sister took ofter father and me after my mother . Because of this i was also ostracized in the whole family . In actual truth to be told all of the family members wanted me dead . Thats also why my mother little to no affection towards me . 

I had no friends in my early childhood because the little childrens thought i was different from them . Because of me my sister was also being bullied by other kids . 

Early example was that when i was .. maybe around 2 years old there was this incident that truly made what i am today . I don't remember that much but through what little i remember ,due to my action at that time my parents got a little understanding of my character early on . At that time our family were residing in a apartment house . My sister was an introvert . So when all the little childrens from the neighbouring houses came together to play with clay toys at the varanda of community house and as they were mostly around my sister's age mother would urge my sister to play with them . And my sister would also go play with them obeying my mother's word . At the start i didn't konw what was the problem with that but when my favourite doll got missing , i noticed my sister's odd behaviour . Then i got to know that my elder sister who was three years older than me was trading her and my toys just to get included in them .

To let her play with them those little kids were demanding toys of her. She was going along with this . Knowing this i got enraged and went to them to demand my toys back . And i think those five years old little childrens haven't had the idea to return my and my sister's toys back . One of the children , a little boy who was taller than all of them even cursed at me saying ,' get out from here foreigner ' . With that comment all the reasons left me . In a fit of anger i picked a pretty strong wooden stick from nearby wood wastes and started to beat them . I said beat because they didn't have the any option other than getting beaten by me . Some even tried to run and i also chased and beat them . In this running and chasing and getting beaten by me , one of the kids who was running his mouth earlier tried to resist me by taking the stick away from my hand but he didn't know that was a big mistake from his part . Because when he tried to take away the stick i jabbed the other end of the stick towards his face and made him fall on his back . Getting the chance that he was down i got up on him and smashed his face with the stick repeatedly to a bloodied state . That time it took a serious turn . All the adults , i mean parents and family members of those little shits acused me of being too cruel . At that time i didn't know anything as to why my parents were not arguing with them instead apologizing for my action . After all of this mess although they returned our toys i became a loathing object by all of them . My mother also reprimanded me and made me stand still in half squatting position with stretched hands parallel to my thigh for about 4 hours . Even if i cried promising her that i would never do that again she didn't let me go . My father ....he was useless against my mother i don't need to talk about him . I was so frustrated that no one was trying to understand me , you know when those little kids were bulling my sister there was no problem but when i beat them a little all of them accusing me of being a inhuman child . Even my parents were not supporting me . 

After that incident my father and mother came to understand that my brain didn't have function like a normal child's . They taught me moral codes of human but you know what their words were bypassing my brain . 

In this way my foundation of character established . Then again and again i repeated my mistakes that causes my parents to become harash with me . I mean one time i pushed a classmate into the school pond because that fucker wanted to push me in as well with his lackeys . But i got hold of his throat and yanked him toward the water . Although the boy got rescued i got a harash punishment for that . And teachers didn't care for my explanation but punished me by kneeling on little sharp stone on a very hot day . My parents got wind of it they didn't listen to me , they made me stand outside the house in a rainy dark night alone when i was only 6 years old . They didn't care for what reason i did that , they were just disappointed why i did that . Sometime my mother even made me do 1000 squats just for the reason that i kicked some one . Well it was another matter that the kid was got hospitalised for broken ribs . Because of this continuous incidents between my repeated behaviour and punishment , i grew more and more emotionless . Day by day i became cold hearted , selfish ,self obsessed girl . In my school and college i had little to no friends . 

Looking at my behaviour my parents made it like that i wouldn't gain any more power than i already had . Because from the start i was physically and intellectually vey strong . If you wanted to know my flaw then i would say i was an utter fool in common knowledge . Thats why they didn't let me learn any physical training like martial arts or karate instead they made me learn humanitarian ideologies . The punishment and restraints from my father and mother made unconsciously and unconditionally obey their word even a little fear toward them . So all my action were my careful consideration that no news of my any actions would get to their ear . Once my school principal even warned me that oneday my actions would lead me turning into a psychopath terrorist . I restrained myself and started to behave like any normal girl would do , around my highschool time by creating a perfect ideal persona . Even still everyone just avoided me . No friends ,no familial love and restraints on my every action would have made me go insane . Still i didn't lose my sanity was because of my sheer will power and a little bit care from my elder sister . I just wished if i got any superpower or any opportunity to get away from my parents would be very beneficial to me . But neither of the conditions occurred . And thus the drive to do anything became less and less in me . It got to the point that i lost my purpose and became what i am now . A lazy shut-in useless girl .

So you see, i was not what i am now from the start . 

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