Chapter 5: Chapter 5 – Crazies All Round

Sh*t! Sh****t! Just because I can't walk or talk doesn't mean you all have to treat me like this! That stupid duke gave me to that old monster… ah I'm dead for sure this time… Timothy was in his carriage and looking down at him was a lady in the standard maid attire with long pitch-black hair and ebony eyes with a beautiful pale white face that seemed surreal when stared at for too long.

I've been here for only a day but I already miss my former maid so bad… The maid had been staring at Timothy with a crumpled expression on her face for at least an hour now.

Is there no normal person in this world? What's with this trash isekai universe?! I wanna go hooome. I haven't played Fortn*te in ages. NO! Don't get distracted. I haven't made any progress in finding Allison. Going back will be completely useless if she isn't with me. According to my extensive knowledge of isekai, the first thing I should do is gather knowledge and understand the world I'm in. That's isekai 101.

I know that this world has vampires and is in its early stages of the Victorian era according to its structures and the fact that I rode in a carriage instead of a car. But when were cars invented? Sh*t. And contrary to regular isekai, I was not a genius in my past life nor do I have any specialty like a survival instinct that can adapt to situations…

…Ha, I just remembered one isekai I read about blood and a succubus. The main character instantly adapted to the new world at the start of the apocalypse. I cringed so hard. How can one really have a 360 in character? When the author gives them a backstory that balances out 180 like a degree in a particular course or some other goofy-ass-sh*t. They had a particular trait or so. That's not the common man. Ah, I'm straying away from what's necessary.

…I was a common man, then I became the bastard child of a princess and now I am the only son of Viscount. Allison said she has given me what that certain evil person is looking for, but I don't know what it is. My perks are the royal blood flowing in me and the thing Allison gave me…

…Nothing from my past life is useful apart from my knowledge of a trash genre. What sh*t luck. Oh yes! I remember they said I'm cursed too. I have no idea what that's about, frankly speaking. What exactly makes me cursed? No one wants to tell me. Not even that crazy maid from before. And you! Why do you keep staring at me?!

"La Lau la lar…" The maid, of course, couldn't understand the jumblings of a baby. She clicked her tongue in annoyance and ended the staring contest by walking away. The baby was probably looking too cute.

Boom… Timothy felt a light disturbance from the ground despite being in his bed. The disturbance shook the bed a little.

Boom… He felt it again but the intensity increased a little. It was as if it was coming closer.

Boom… What on earth is that? Is an earthquake about to occur? Timothy thought.

Boom… Boom… Boom… Boom…

Someone! Come get me! An earthquake is about to occur! Timothy panicked. But the sound came to an abrupt stop after picking up rhythm.

Suddenly, a large figure over 7 feet tall and about 4 feet wide towered over Timothy.

W-W-What is this?! He screamed.

The figure was completely concealed in the darkness and only its silhouette was visible. It bent a little as it entered the light. It was Timothy's personal maid. She leaned her hand in the carriage and picked Timothy up and raised him to the sky.

Unhand me, you vile creature! Viscount Maxton! My new father! Please! I'm about to be eaten by a bear! Sh*t! Where is safe in this god-forsaken world?! The baby started crying.

The large maid pulled Timothy in her embrace and rocked him but that wasn't able to stop him from crying. Timothy felt the rock and slowly calmed down then opened his eyes but he immediately shut them back.

What the F*CK did I just see? What the f*ck did I just see?! Am I a horror isekai?! Ahh! I can't get that image out of my head! I never knew a face could possibly have such traumatizing effect!

Boom… The maid stepped closer into the light and the light shone on her face. It was the face of a stone-cold mafia boss trying to force a smile. It was traumatisingly hideous. She had dark brown hair that was tied to a ponytail.

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She calmly dropped Timothy back in the carriage and released the ugly smile. Just like magic, all the features of her face disappeared. The only things that remained were two lines that represented her eyes and one for her mouth.

Why didn't you just come this way?! Traumatizing someone like that. Just, never smile. Ever! Save someone's life by sparing them those few seconds of the torture of witnessing your smile!

The maid gently rocked Timothy's carriage.

What are you doing? Get out of my sight. You've already pissed me… off… uh… my eyes! They're closing… Stop rocking me, you manly woman! What… what sorcery is this… Once again, Timothy wasn't able to overcome his flesh.

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One year later…

It is time! I can feel it in my bones! I have patiently waited for this day. I trained… day in and day out! Timothy stood at the edge of his carriage and held the frame.

He struggled to lift himself over the frame and fell to the floor.

Ouch! Damnit! I never knew I feel pain 10x more when I'm a baby. Timothy's eyes were watering but he encouraged himself and used all his might to lift his big head up.

…Yes! Timothy managed to balance his head and stand up straight.

Timothy took a step and wobbled several times before he got himself. Then he took another step, then another step, and another step…

I'm doing it! I'm doing it! Hilda, come see I'm doing it! Timothy smiled uncontrollably as he trotted around the room.

There was a bookshelf on the right side of the room and Timothy noticed it.

Yes! Now I can gain information about this world…

As he walked to it, he instinctively looked towards the door of the room.

What the f*ck! Timothy almost jumped in a scare.

That particular maid from before that was in a staring contest with him has been silently watching him from a tiny opening in the door. Timothy always noticed her presence when Hilda, the big maid, took care of him. She was always silently watching from a corner.

How will it look if a newborn baby was already reading a book? I'll draw too much suspicion. And this woman is watching me for a reason I know nothing about. I'm with what that evil person needs so he must be looking for me. I need to be extra cautious and not draw any useless suspicion like that isekai about a king that reincarnated in a world of mana and aether… Timothy stared at the maid and once again, the staring contest had begun.

…Argh. I knew it. No one is normal in this world. Timothy fell on his back and cried out loud like the baby he was.

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