Nate was so shocked that he couldn't reply for quite a while. He observed Lara and listened to her words, but his brain wasn't working anymore.
He didn't like the new information he was collecting, by the way.
He remembered how Lara refused to drink the wine at dinner when she visited his apartment with the pups. She said she didn't like it, so he didn't insist.
But her last few words made him realise there was something more to the story. As if she blamed alcohol for what happened six years before.
It couldn't be possible. The wine was not the culprit.
He was sure because she didn't smell like alcohol as much as to be suspicious. He would have stopped if he thought she was drunk.
But then, why did Lara think the opposite? Was the experience so bad that her brain made up she was drunk to explain it?
«You weren't drunk,» Nate said. «I don't know why you think so, but you didn't smell like alcohol. Nor did you act as an intoxicated person.»
«Really?»
«Yes.»
He blinked, waiting for her to elaborate further.
«Listen,» he continued, realising she wouldn't talk. «There's nothing wrong with having sex. You were an adult; I was an adult. We were both willing, right?»
He feared he misinterpreted something very important. What if she didn't want it as much as he did? She was so alluring and so sweet while she kissed him behind the door of the club.
She had stood on tiptoe to leave a light peck on his lips, all to change her mind and insist longer and turn it into a real kiss.
Then, she had locked arms with him, following him to the hotel room.
«I don't remember anything from back then.»
She had said she found him tempting, and that she had never felt like that with anyone else.
But has she told him she was willing? Did she change her mind later?
Or, maybe, she wanted to forget because it wasn't as good as she expected.
«What?» Nate mumbled. His forehead was covered in sweat, and he had clenched his fists to prevent his hands from trembling.
«I don't remember, Nate. Nothing.»
He was a fool. He should have talked about it way, way earlier.
«So, when you got up and left, you were panicking?»
«I drank so much that I ended up in bed with a stranger. How could I not panic?»
«You weren't drunk, Lara. It was not that!»
«No?»
There wasn't any way out other than telling her part of the truth. Maybe not all at once, but he needed to introduce how wolves functioned before she could misunderstand even further.
«Sometimes, wolves have a destined partner. When they meet their mate, they feel it deep in their heart. The first meeting is the most difficult because it's impossible to resist. Our bodies were so attracted to each other that we had sex soon after. It's not rare, so I stupidly assumed it was all normal, but a human sees things differently... I wondered for what reason you left in the morning. I asked myself that question every single Black Moon. It turns out we still don't know anything about each other.»
«It doesn't explain why I don't remember,» Lara pointed out.
«Aren't you the least suspicious of the attraction you feel towards me?» he replied.
«No, why would I be? You're so handsome!»
Her words hit his heart, but Nate managed to keep them in a dark corner of his brain. He would use them later when he needed comfort. For the moment, he had no time to waste.
There was a chance Lara would escape again.
«The bond works on you too, even if you're human,» he said.
Now, how could he make her accept it without freaking out? Without thinking he was taking advantage of the situation to get to her?
Oh, but he was. Everything bringing water to his mill was going to be exploited.
«This isn't just physical attraction. It's more than that,» he said, reaching to her hand and entwining their fingers. «This is a sign from destiny. A path to follow to find happiness.»
He squeezed her hand, happy like a dog. He had thrown his pride away long ago with her, so he didn't care to look cool anymore.
«You didn't throw away your values, whichever they are.»
«I still slept with you before finding a job.»
«There are years in between! And you didn't do it for the job but because you wanted to. I really don't see the problem. People sleep with others all the time, right? It's not a big deal.»
«Maybe for you. But I was shy and... I liked to think I would have sex only after marriage. Or a long, stable relationship.»
«I'm not one to sleep around either,» he said. «Am I easy and shameless now?»
«No, of course not. It's your choice, Nate. What I'm regretting is not sleeping with you. It's stomping on rules I set for myself. I'm weak and can't keep my word.»
«I also am weak against the bond.»
She pursed her lips, unable to reply.
«As for getting pregnant, that was my fault as much as yours. I was an idiot, Lara. Wolves don't get illnesses, usually, and the bond was pushing me to mate, so preventing pregnancy was the last of my thoughts. I ruined your life, giving you no choice but to deal with the aftermath alone.»
«I am happy with the kids,» she replied.
«I know you are. And I know I wouldn't have met you again wasn't it for them. I am so happy they exist, as well.»
«I'm glad you think this way,» Lara said.
She smiled, finding it not as hard as she imagined.
«Also, I came here to ask you out.»
«Out?»
Indeed, they were out.
«Yes. I want to go on a date with you. Wolves have different habits to develop relationships, so it took me too long to realise you are different.. I want to court you, to make you choose me as your partner.»