Siwoo covered his face with his hands in frustration. Why? Why did Jihoon have to say something so corny? Siwoo felt uncomfortable and confused.
Suddenly, Jihoon said to him, “You should stop doing that.”
“Do what?”
“Covering your face with your hands.”
“What? What has it got to do with you?”
Jihoon dragged his chair towards Siwoo and stared at Siwoo’s face intently. Their faces were so close that their eyelashes were almost touching. Siwoo felt ticklish, so he tried to pull back, but Jihoon grabbed Siwoo’s wrist and pulled towards him. Jihoon looked down to study Siwoo’s fingers for a long time. He caressed it, making Siwoo feel strange. When Siwoo remained frozen, Jihoon smiled and said to him, “Your fingers are too long.”
“…”
“So whenever you cover your face with your fingers, it makes me feel strange.”
Jihoon then pulled back from Siwoo and began to drink his lemonade. Siwoo detested gays who were shallow and uncaring.
Men who were full of themselves. Men who were well aware of how good-looking they were. Men who dressed well, were rich, and very experienced.
These bad boys were often attracted to Siwoo. Often times, these boys would act all tough and rough, but when they began to show their softer and more vulnerable sides, that was when Siwoo would fall hard for them to a point that he became obsessive.
And when the relationship didn’t work out, which happened a lot in Siwoo’s past, that was when Siwoo was reminded of how giving himself to another man meant he would end up with nothing.
This was why he chose to date Joowan last time, and Joowan was the first boyfriend who made Siwoo feel safe and comfortable.
Well, at least until he found out the truth.
Jihoon’s voice brought Siwoo back to reality.
“Why are you not paying attention? I can see that you are thinking about something else.”
Jihoon could be very intuitive and sensitive, which were two of the many qualities that Siwoo didn’t like about him. It seemed that Jihoon could read Siwoo very well, which was a scary thing. When Siwoo was with him, he couldn’t think about anything else.
“Jihoon Kang.”
“What?”
“Stop doing that.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Stop talking like you know everything about me.”
Siwoo’s body felt hot, so he emptied the glass of gin & tonic in ice. He was crunching on the ice when suddenly, Jihoon, who was drinking his lemonade, grabbed Siwoo’s shoulders and pulled him hard.
“Huh?”
Before Siwoo could react, their lips locked. When Siwoo opened his lips, Jihoon’s tongue, which tasted like lemonade, invaded his mouth. By the time the kiss ended, a piece of the ice from Siwoo’s mouth was now in Jihoon’s mouth.
“… My lemonade didn’t have any ice, and I wanted one.”
Jihoon’s face looked so calm that Siwoo gaped in shock.
“… Siwoo… aren’t you going to hit me?”
Jihoon asked with a frown, confused at the fact that Siwoo remained quiet. Siwoo was indeed in disbelief mostly because he knew that he had already fallen for Jihoon. He knew it was a bad idea to ask Jihoon out tonight. What shocked him the most was how quickly and easily he recovered from his breakup with Joowan. This had never happened before. Even now, thinking about Joowan Kim felt painful, but…
Siwoo finally opened his lips, “You are a bad person.”
“… What?”
“And you are so sneaky.”
“… Siwoo Jung.”
“And so selfish and egotistical.”
“…”
“But I must admit that you are a good kisser.”
Siwoo felt his body burning. He had been denying the truth to himself, Shin Kim, and Woojin Choi, but it was no use now. It was too late.
Jihoon sat closer to Siwoo again and caressed his arm. This time, Siwoo didn’t run away, but instead, he put his arms around Jihoon’s neck. Jihoon’s lips covered Siwoo’s lips again. Jihoon’s tongue licked Siwoo’s teeth gently. When he bit Siwoo’s tongue lightly, Siwoo’s body vibrated. Casually, Jihoon reached underneath Siwoo’s shirt.
Siwoo knew he wasn’t going home alone tonight.
***
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Woojin couldn’t remember exactly when, but he stopped having his nightmares or any other kinds of dreams. He suspected it was when he began to give his heart to Shin Kim. Woojin remembered the nights when he woke up in the middle of the night sweating and trembling.
It was Wednesday today. Chungju was not too far from Seoul. The fact that he missed Shin so much probably meant that his love was at its peak. Perhaps eventually, their love would cool down.
He felt expectant and strange on his way home after work. He ran up the stairs in his condo to get to his place. Woojin wasn’t the type that easily became excited, but it was different today. When he opened the door, the sudden warmth greeted him, making his eyes almost water.
Shin was wearing a bright blue shirt. It was one of the first items Shin left at Woojin’s place early on in their relationship. It sometimes smelled like Shin, so it was one of Woojin’s favorite shirts. Shin asked Woojin, “Did you eat dinner?”
Woojin loosened his tie and began to take his shoes off. This whole situation felt so surreal that Woojin remained bent, pretending to stare at his shoes. Shin quickly came to the door and stood in front of Woojin. He asked, “Are you ill?”
“No.”
When Woojin stood up, Shin was there. Suddenly, Woojin remembered all the emotions he held inside of him for a long time. Loneliness, sadness, emptiness… All these feelings he didn’t even know he had. He realized how much pain he had in his life as he saw how Shin looked at him warmly.
Woojin set down his briefcase on the floor and reached out to hold Shin’s wrist. He murmured, “You don’t look like you are too happy to see me…”
Woojin looked at Shin for a long time before touching Shin’s face.
“Now I can touch you.”
“…”
Woojin buried his face onto Shin’s chest and they embraced each other. Shin seemed a bit surprised, but his arms automatically hugged Woojin. Their hearts beated together.
Love was a funny thing. Enjoying Shin’s warmth on his cheeks, Woojin whispered, “I could smell your warmth.”
“From where?”
“As soon as I got off the subway.”
“Liar.”
“I’m serious.”
Woojin rubbed his face against Shin’s chest while Shin played with Woojin’s hair.
Shin said to him, “I want to see your face. It has been so long since we last saw each other. Can you look up?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No.”
Woojin laughed as he replied. Lately, Woojin had been laughing a lot. Even Minji noticed this, but she seemed indifferent.
“Woojin, I see that you laugh a lot more now. But you know, you don’t have to laugh.”
“Pardon?”
“But you do look very pretty when you laugh. You are a cute man, Woojin.”
Woojin could see the obvious resemblance between Shin and his older sister. Woojin finally looked up at Shin, but quickly looked away. Shin asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I’m hungry.”
“Then kiss me first.”
“You and your sister… you guys are both playboys, aren’t you?”
“… That Minji Kim… did she tell you something about me?”
When Woojin smiled widely, Shin couldn’t believe how beautiful he looked. It was an amazing feeling to be loved by the one you loved the most in the world. Shin felt truly lucky. He whispered to Woojin, “You have become even lovelier during the last few days.”
“See? The way you talk sounds like a complete player.”
“And my sister? Does she talk like this too?”
“Yes.”
“Could it be that you have fallen for her?”
“Nope.”
Woojin felt happy. He enjoyed Shin’s warmth with his entire body. They had all the time in the world. They had to. If they could live like this forever, it would be a true happy ending.
And even if this didn’t last… Just the fact that they spent this time together was enough. It had to, because this was love.
True love.
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