Chapter 37: 35: Seeking Solace, Seeking Shelter

In the dead of night, two figures huddled in a crouch together under the sheltering foliage of a great pine tree. A distance before them, the terrain inclined to a series of rolling hills, which in turn were forested in a mix of deciduous and coniferous trees. The gentle snows that had marked the last few weeks had given way to a slushy rain, which melted and muddied the existing snow into an unpleasant mess.

In this environment, the figure of a grown woman shivered in the firm and still arms of a young girl.

Even in the stillness and rumbling quiet of the rain, a palpable tension wracked Kana and Fuzō. But where Fuzō seemed to be in a sort of fearful slumber, Kana was still fueled with ferocity. Her jaw clenched and eyes sharp, Kana waited with absolute silence.

She had sprinted with all the vigor she had, flickering great distances forward whenever possible. Not long after the attack on their wagons, Fuzō had lost consciousness.

From terror, from exertion, from shock? Kana figured it was a mix of them all. But day and night Kana continued to flee, continued to channel her chakra into Fuzō to track if they were being pursued.

Kana barely had time to process what had happened, Fuzō even less so. The reality of the situation needed time to sink in, but it soon became apparent that the two were on their own. Kana gradually became certain that none of their attackers had followed and finally risked taking a rest.

Because their escape had taken it's toll on her.

Though her stamina was vast and her body extremely durable, Kana found that constant exertion was still tiring. It wasn't as bad as the time of her flight from the Land of Grass into the Land of Fire, but her muscles still ached faintly. What was worse this time was the constant mental fatigue from operating at full concentration and intensive multi-tasking for so long. This was further worsened by keeping up perception of the Phantom Monsters.

The constant perception of hate and fear and killing intent all around... had a unique way of building up tension and carrying stiffness in the body. Kana could feel herself all coiled up, in both mind and body, but couldn't bring herself to relax a centimeter while still perceiving a sense like this.

Halfway in, Kana had been forced to give up maintaining her disguise. The sense of discomfort and exertion became too grueling, and her desire to release some of the pressure had inadvertently released her technique. And so with a puff of smoke, had returned to her true appearance.

Even then, it provided only cursory relief from the hatred and discomfort.

Experiencing such prolonged exposure, Kana's admiration and respect for Fuzō grew ever greater. To put up with such a thing and be able to bear it for so long... her endurance was truly a feat of the highest willpower. It was no wonder the woman wished to sleep for as much of the day as possible. No wonder that she even wished to die before meeting Kana.

But willpower aside, Kana knew that channeling Fuzō sense like this must be taking an immense toll on her. The woman had already fallen unconscious for hours now. So she resolved to end the sensory channeling as soon as she could verify some degree of safety.

And out in the wilderness like this, Kana could sense essentially nothing nearby. No hostile human life anyway, just the vague aura of ambient hatred that seemed to float about regardless. Fuzō's sense of hatred seemed to be primarily intensified by the presence of other people, so these truths became quickly apparent while she was channeling it.

Still, this raised Kana's curiosity anew.

Fuzō had repeatedly told her that Kana herself was the only person who did not emit the strange hatred of a Phantom Monster. Why? What was different about Kana? It made Kana uneasy, knowing that the ritual had done far more to her than she fully comprehended. Once again she was reminded to pursue whatever cursed knowledge she could find about the sacrificial ritual. Even if she wished to forget, lingering consequences could already be set in motion.

But it would all have to be questions for another time.

Kana hid under that great pine tree to get some shelter and slowly relaxed her chakra flow until her senses returned to normal. This also allowed Fuzō's limp form to finally relax, further relieved by the return to a more soothing chakra flow from Kana.

They would shelter in place here until the woman regained her consciousness, if only to provide Kana with necessary directions towards Yamakuni. She'd only sprinted off in the vague direction Fuzō had mentioned beforehand, east-southeast towards a hilly region. A hilly region which, Kana figured, was the one that lay before them.

Kana emitted a great sigh through her nose, the breath forming a cloud in the frigid air. It was unnecessary, but calming. For the first time in good while, she let her shoulders ease and allowed the tension to leave her body.

She had a lot to think about, but she didn't want to think about anything right now.

A sort of strange desire to rest and recuperate rebelled against her usual sense of diligence. Kana wasn't used to allowing cracks to appear in her self-discipline like this.

At the bare minimum, she still had to consider what to do about her appearance and... if Fuzō had seen her chains. Telling herself as much, Kana forced herself to sit up. She held Fuzō across her lap to better support the unconscious woman, bundling her together in their thick clothing and blankets.

Should she re-apply the disguise? The Henge would be easy to maintain again now that she no longer had to channel Fuzō's sensory perception. But... it was just the two of them now, should she instead come clean about her appearance, explain why she stuck so close to Fuzō?

Staring off into the rain, Kana faced this dilemma. She would really only have until the time Fuzō awakened to decide.

There were a lot of factors to consider here, favorable and unfavorable to both decisions really.

She already wore her looted mask and somewhat ragged overcoat over the heavy Yuka uniform, so her face and hair were largely concealed. She always had them on under her disguise anyway, just in case of situations like this, matters where her disguise unexpectedly failed.

But did she want to make headway on her investigation yet? She had a lot of matters to investigate now, many conflicting priorities again, but Fuzō's cooperation would be essential for pretty much all of them. Was it safe to do so?

What about a partial reveal? Showing her hair ought to leave a pretty clear impression, right? But leaving the mask on would be a bit...

As she struggled, the decision was made for her.

Fuzō had stirred, opening her eyes to see Kana as she was now. Reapplying the Henge disguise would probably be pointless now, even if Kana tried to explain it away.

"Hah, uh? Oh it's-  that's you right, Kana-chan? And we're... we're all on our own now, right?" Fuzō voice was light, a bit bewildered but not panicked. She'd also already glanced around, taking in their surroundings calmly. Was she not surprised?

Kana glanced at her right hand holding onto Fuzō's shoulder, still channeling chakra. Oh, Fuzō would know the familiar feel of her chakra instantly by now. Of course she would recognize Kana.

"Yes...and yes" Kana whispered, resigned to revealing her deception.

Shaking her head, Kana rebuked herself for reacting so weakly. It was uncharacteristic of her.

She ought not feel resigned. This would be a trial, yes, a test run for building a cover story. As long as she did not reveal to scope and extent of her powers, she could frame her circumstances in any way. What was with this passive reaction? She'd prepared for this! This was her opportunity to gain a little leeway in her available actions.

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But her silence was growing noticeable now. Fuzō wore a penetrating and pondering look, clearly reflecting on the circumstances, and on the deaths of their traveling group.

They both pointedly said nothing about the attack, Fuzō not saying a word about how they'd escaped either.

Kana had to say something here.

"Fuzō-san... I..." she struggled with where to begin and the silence returned. Being vague would only make this more complicated. Why did this have to be so difficult!?

Even unable to see her expression behind the mask, Fuzō seemed to sense Kana's unease. Her eyes wandered thoughtfully over Kana's form, lingering on the still-torn and bloodstained sleeve of the girl's outer coat.

In response, Kana found herself meekly hiding that arm behind her back. She remembered the pain of those shuriken stabbing her.

"I- you know I flee the war, too. That I... travel alone. I hid myself... for a long time. For my own safety..." It was the truth.

Kana squirmed at the thought of someone potentially knowing her secrets. She knew from Fuzō's gaze that she would have to lie very well in order to convince her, something she was not confident in doing. This would be a battle, a struggle just as serious as a physical fight. In order not to reveal herself, she would use half-truths, omitting the important context. Kana felt the tension returning to her, preparing-

"Kana-chan... I understand." Fuzō said, somewhat averting her gaze, "You don't have to say anything. I... I see that you're in a difficult position. I just realize even more now that I truly don't know much about you, my life's savior, my only hope at recovering some sort of normal life."

Kana barely had time to stop her train of thought right in its tracks. What was-?

And in the moment Kana paused, Fuzō's eyes widened at a thought, again directing her gaze at Kana's mask, but appearing more confused this time. "Was that... your intention? Thinking back, that makes... a lot more makes sense. How much effort... how much struggle have you endured to... hide yourself so long. I don't, I...you are, am I somehow..?"

Kana gnawed her lower lip again, Fuzō's doubts also weighing on her mind. She would do this step by step, and assess the situation, allowing her to stop precisely with the minimum necessary revealed.

Taking a deep breath, Kana made another decision. Give up a little information, hopefully to gain a vast amount in return:

"Before, before you say anything else... Fuzō-san, I think this might help you understand." Saying this, Kana's free hand rose to her hood, pulling it back to reveal the vibrant and deep maroon of her true hair color. It was even more stunning against the muted greys of their wintry surroundings.

Fuzō's eyebrows shot up and her whole body perked up somewhat, "Kan-, Kana-chan? You are-  this is?!?"

That was certainly a reaction, but Kana was watching very carefully here.

She needed more nuance than that to decide how to proceed. How would Fuzō and her parents react if she showed up like this? Would she be able to rely on their support even after this reveal? She needed to assess whatever assumptions people would make upon seeing her true hair. What about people who shared such hair color? This would undoubtedly provided the context she needed.

"Do you understand now... why I couldn't just leave you alone, Fuzō-san? Even when I'm... in a difficult position?" Kana had no need to fake the hesitancy in her voice. In fact, she doubted whether she would even have been able to conceal it. How frustrating!

"No, no I- It's just I, no wonder I had worried about that sense of familiarity...", a sort of conclusive or vindicated expression came over the woman face. It was an expression Kana knew not how to interpret. Fortunately, Fuzō spoke yet again.

"Ah, I see now- I remember now, you questioned me about my hair and my family. If it's like this... hmm.
I'm sure you mentioned... having more questions?
I think I understand now. I was already certain my parents would have been grateful, but I'm certain now that they would be willing to answer your questions. This... this does change things."

"Please understand me then, if I do not say more? It's... difficult for me." Kana murmured, her tone conflicted while pulling her cowl back up.

Fuzō flinched suddenly, her eyes softening into a concerned gaze.

"Ah, Kana-chan. That's right, you know... you know war. Sometimes you act so- I, I forget. Just because I don't know, I- "

Her face twisting with regret, Fuzō gave up on words, instead pulling herself up to embrace Kana.

It was an embrace Kana did not expect, especially given her suspicious masked appearance. Yet still, it was an embrace she accepted. With Fuzō, it wasn't uncomfortable.

Head on Kana's shoulder, Fuzō spoke lightly again, "I am grateful enough that you showed me this much. You must have gone through a lot of effort to reach this point. Survivors... a survivor, truly. Yet..."

Fuzō seemed truly speechless for a moment, before continuing gently.

"Just know that I... I will always hold your circumstances in confidence. The one who granted me a second chance, my respite in this hellish life, from now on I will always do my best to help you too."

"Fuzō-san...", whispered Kana hesitantly as the corners of the woman's eyes filled with tears.

But before she could say more, Fuzō held her head up firmly, using her good arm to wipe her own eyes.

"Let's get to Yamakuni, eh? If I can welcome you into my... my home, then surely I can show you... I hope I can begin to repay all that you've done for me."

She then let out a rueful chuckle, "After all, this has to be what... the third time you've saved my life?"

For once this whole conversation, Kana felt she could meet Fuzō's eyes. In those eyes were reflected true sincerity, and a passionate gratitude. With that, Kana felt safe enough to go on. That her decision was right. At least for now, it was safe for Fuzō to know of her appearance.

For a trial, this was probably the best result she could hope for.

 

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