Chapter 16: Ch 16: Memories of a different life 2

+++ Alfon’s Perspective +++

Breakfast tasted bland.

We headed into Darisport later that morning.

I’m sure as a bustling port city it was beautiful, I’m sure the architecture was a unique blend of all the different cultures converging upon a single point, and I’m sure the sights and smells of a premiere trade hub were awe inspiring.

But.

I really didn’t care.

Lunch tasted bland.

I was grateful, at least, that the inn we were staying out had a view of the docks.

I spent a long time staring at the ships coming and going from the docks, wondering if one of them carried Donovan and Swift.

 

+++ ???’s Perspective +++

Near the uptown of Darisport, two friends were enjoying a night out at one of the local bars.

“Nya. You know it's rare that you invite me out for drinks, Rafy.” Prisilla munches on some fish chips with a languid smirk, “though I can probably guess the reason.”

“I worry for Alfy.” The outlander gazes into her ale, a distraught reflection stares back at her.

“Don’t we all nya?” The beastwoman says while munching away, “The Adelmire pair really not looking too hot this past week huh? The mom is scared sh*tless at the prospects of meeting her family soon and the son can’t handle his first goodbye.”

“Prisilla! That’s putting it too harshly!” Rafine still had the wits about her to reprimand her companion. 

“Sorry. I just can’t stand all this moping around, it's making my fur all soggy.” Prisilla apologies.

“You sure that isn’t just because of the humidity?”

“The what?” Prisilla didn’t really understand, but also didn’t really care, “Anyway, tell me of your troubles, fair maiden.” 

Rafine was annoyed at the demeanor of her friend, but then again when was she ever not? After taking a sigh she began to lament her woes: “Alfy’s classes have stopped her since we got here. I’ve been thinking it was good to give him some space after the departure of Swift and Donovan but it's been a week and a half and he still hasn’t recovered. During the day you couldn’t pry him from the windowsill if you tried, and during the night all he does is stare at the cover of the book those two gave him.” 

Rafine made a sand sculpture in front of Prisilla to emphasize her point, the small figurine depicting a crude rendition of a young boy laying in his bed.

“He doesn’t even read it, he just stares at it.” Rafine repeated.

“I thought he was plenty smart?” Prisilla continued feasting away.

“He’s more than just plenty smart, He’s a genius of the century. Everything from academy level or below he either understands immediately or seems to already know. To the point where I’ve resorted to lecturing him on the intermediate level magi papers from university since he already seems to know mathematics of that level somehow. Speaking to him feels as though he is twenty years older than he actually is.” Rafine gestured extensively with her cup, quite proud of her student. Prisilla, on the other hand, didn’t quite understand what she was talking about.

“Simpler terms nya.” She meowed. 

“Alfy is a genius. As smart as professional mages.” Rafine took a sip from her cup.

“At age three nya?” Prisilla didn’t know too much about the inner workings of human societies, but that sounded pretty unbelievable even to her. The biscuit in her hand pausing before reaching her mouth as she took it in. 

“At age three.” Rafine confirmed. Perhaps putting it into words made it feel a bit more real because even Rafine, who had been the mentor of said genius, was feeling a bit bewildered herself.

“Wow that’s amazin. So what’s the issue then nya?” 

“Oh, right. The issue is that he’s not his usual self right now. He’s been just moping around.” 

“He’s sad that two friends left. Give him some space nya.” Prisilla turned towards the counter, the crumbs on her cheek revealing her intentions: “One more order please.” The person behind the counter gave her a hearty thumbs up and gave her another plate.

“I know, I know, but it's still worrying.”

“You sure you aren’t just sad to have no one to lecture?” Prisilla surmised. 

“Absolutely not,” Rafine reached over and snagged a fish biscuit, much to the dismay of her companion, “I am still teaching Ninamoritis after all.”

“Oh yeah, how is Nina by the way? Is she as smart as Alfy?”

“Hm. That’s a tough question to answer.” Rafine tapped her horns as she thought about it. While she still kept her hood around most of the time, she needn’t be on guard as the Darinstone Republic was less hostile to her people.

Though there isn’t a day that goes by where she doesn’t miss her large hat. 

“Wait. You’re telling me she’s smarter than Alfy? Our resident genius among geniuses?”

“No it's not that, it's just...” Getting her thoughts in order, she gave Prisilla an answer: “Us Outlanders are rather tribalistic, with each clan having different societal rules, and being gifted with distinct gifts that, in of themselves, range in power among individuals. I have heard little of the Blackhorn tribe, even as travelled as I am, so I am unable to grasp many aspects of her person, and nor does she understand them herself, being as young as she is.” She paused to check if Prisilla was following along.

She wasn’t, but still she nodded to get Rafine to continue.

“That being said, her behavior in of itself is mystifying at best and maddening at worst. She seems to understand both everything I teach her and nothing at the same time, while never betraying what she really feels. To this point I have no idea if she’s actually keeping up or just has really good selective memory and guessing skills.” Rafine has been both the teacher and the student more times than she could count over the years, but nothing could have prepared her to teach these two children. 

“Nya, example please.” Prisilla asked while stuffing herself.

“You ask her to answer a question, and she doesn’t say anything. You give her a test later and she gets it perfectly right. You ask her to answer another question she explains beyond what's needed, you put it on a test later, she gets it completely wrong.”Rafine sighed, downing the rest of her liquor. 

“Wow, it sounds like she’s just messin with yah.”

“I wouldn’t put it past her. She occasionally correctly answers questions even Alfy gets wrong. I just have no idea what she’s thinking, it must be some peculiarities with the Blackhorns.”

“So you want your good student back?” Prisilla dusted off her mouth.

“No, I just want Alfon to get past his phase. We... don’t have all the time in the world. I wish to teach him all he needs to know before we leave.” To rid herself of her melancholy she took a bite out of the fish biscuit in her hand only to nearly throw it up, “What in the flaming hells, this tastes terrible! How are you eating this?”

“Nyahaha, it's a specialty, and you never did like seafood.” Prisilla had a quick laugh at her disgust. “Anyways it's best to leave the kid alone in times like these, they need space.”

“You think I should talk to him?”

“No nya. I mean you could, and it might make him get out of the slump faster. But it also might backfire and it would for sure hurt you a lot, especially considering how smart he is.”

“Hurt me? How would it hurt me?”

“Words can cut deep nya. You should know this considering how you keep chopping me up all the time.”

“But it might help?” Rafine pressed on.

“Yes it might, but I would just give him some time. Yeah, we don’t have too much but it's necessary.”

“Okay.” Rafine stood up as she said, the alcohol giving her some liquid courage to confront her pupil, “I shall go talk to him.”

“Wait, did you hear a word of what I ju-'' But the beastwoman did not get to finish her sentence as the outlander stormed out of the tavern with clenched fists. Prisilla looked to the ceiling, muttering to herself.

“Why am I surrounded by boneheads nya?”

++

“Alfy! I need to speak to you.” Rafine burst into the room, and the boy in question was exactly where she expected him to be. Lying on his bed, notebook in hand, examining the cover. Sylvestra would usually be with him by now, preparing to go to bed, but she’d been with some people her family had sent after her the last few days.

From what Rafine understood, it wasn’t pretty.

“What is it, master Rafine?” The response she got was cold and distant, but she did not let it deter her.

“We need to speak of your recent lapse in your studies. I understand that you’ve asked for a break but I suggest that we resume soon.” This isn’t what Rafine actually wanted, she simply wanted Alfy back to his usual self, but she didn’t quite know how to put that request into words.

So she used his studies as an excuse. It shouldn’t be too unusual, she thought, children of the nobility often have harsh instructing. If she could give him some lessons to take his mind away, perhaps he would get over it faster. 

“I’d like to have more time please.” The words grated on his teeth as it left his mouth. Misunderstanding master Rafine, he assumed it was because he was inadequate. 

“You had quite enough time I believe. The world waits for no one.” Her intentions were good, but her words felt heavy to the young boy.

“I... am not ready. Can’t we put our lessons on hold? Aren’t I smart enough already? There isn’t much you can teach me from here on out anyway.” Alfon wasn’t quite sure where his emotional limit was, but if he didn’t stop this conversation soon he might say something he’ll regret. “I-I... need to get ready for bed.”

“Alfon. I can’t believe you would become so conceited.” But Rafine wasn’t going to let him run, “I understand you’ve been upset about the departure of Swift and Donovan, but you cannot let their goodbyes tie you down forever. We don’t have too much time together ourselves, it would be a waste t-”

Ah.

That was it.

The words he didn’t want to hear.

Fine, he thought, we’ll play it that way.

“Why?” Alfon interrupted Rafine with a singular question. But it wasn’t the question itself that was worrying but rather the tone he put forth. Rafine had never heard him say his words quite so... poisonously.

The boy sat up, and put his notebook on his nightstand. 

“Why do you care so much?”

“That’s because I-”

“Because what? You’ve got a duty to look after a child of a friend? Or maybe you want to call yourself the teacher of a genius? Is it all a matter of pride and duty to you?” The words have started to pour out like water, and Alfon wasn’t in a big rush to close the valves.

“No, that’s-” But she was cut off.

“I’ll say it now, I hate your lessons. You talk slowly and repeat the same principles over and over again when I can already comprehend it the first time around. You have got no understanding of your own students, the tests you give are confusing,  and you can’t even demonstrate any of the theories you teach because your magical ability has been hindered.”

Rafine stayed silent, so this is what Prisilla meant when she said it would hurt her. Was this truly what Alfon thought of her?

“You pride yourself on being a mage when you can’t perform magic, you pride yourself on being an adventurer when you can’t fight or manage logistics, and you pride yourself on being a teacher when you can’t teach. For the past months you’ve been nothing but a giant hindrance. I suppose it's nice that Donovan has prepared everything beforehand so you can’t screw this up too.” None of this was what he actually thought, or meant. But to him, this had become an argument, there would be a winner and a loser, and he didn’t feel like losing at the moment.

“Why... why do you care so much if you’re going to leave anyway?” As the adrenaline was wearing off, he was suddenly starting to become aware of just how horrible his words were.

“...A-Alfon, I-I..” But seeing Rafine on the verge of tears did nothing to bring him back to his senses, in fact, it made it all the worse. 

Why?

Why did she have to be such a good person?

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Why were these people being so kind to him, making him care so much, only to leave him at the end?

Why must this happen in every life?

It would have been so much easier if he hated them.

“GET OUT! If you’re going to leave then go already. Make it easier for me so I can forget you all at once.” For a toddler’s tantrum, his words were extraordinarily venomous.

And Rafine didn’t have an antidote handy, nor could she think of anything to say back. So she walked backwards, and slowly shut the door.

“G-Goodnight Alfon.” She managed to choke those words out of her throat before heading to her room.

 

+++ Nina’s Perspective +++

Pain.

Sense pain room beside.

Alfy, words hurt.

Hear them from here.

Pain, deep hurt.

Alfy pain, scary. Dangerous.

Rafinilious. Hurt. Sad. Anguish. Loathing.

Need stop pain. 

Rafinilious, kind. Should pain less.

She comes, she comes.

Through door.

She sit down bed. She hands in face.

Wipe face.

Should say words, which words? Heard this in book think.

“Alfy, didn’t mean it.” Maybe this words help?

She look at me, she surprise.

She not wary of me. Not like usual. Just pain right now.

Must hurt lots.

Alfy bad, too much pain for Rafinilious.

Need feed words him later. What words good? Don’t know. Maybe check after.

Oh, shut up shut up. No talk in head.

She mouth open, talking.

“-derstand this is what he gdiosalf by saying he dbmnvse more time. I... I’m a-aware of it. T-Thank you Ninamoritis.” She says.

She says softly. Seem better.

Pain not all away, but better.

All can do now?

All can do now.

Rest now.

 

+++ Alfon’s Perspective +++

A large man in a black suit stood over me.

I was kneeling on the ground, head low.

“This is what you give me?” I recognize this voice as belonging to my father. We don’t see each other much, but wanted to do the best I could to make him proud.

I... did my best.

I really did.

But it looks like I’ll always be a failure.

“Do you understand how much I’ve spent on your upbringing? And this is how you repay me? With this disappointment? Explain yourself.” 

“I...” I began hesitantly, “I tried my hardest father. I r-”

“Did I ask how hard you tried? If the result of your best efforts is this pile of irredeemable garbage, then maybe you should stop trying. Enough, my head hurts just thinking about it. Bernard, take him away.” It was good that I was bowing my head right now, he’d surely be disgusted in the tears I was holding back.

“Yes sir.” 

As I was led away, the disdainful muttering of my father echoed in my ears.

“-lieve she died for this.”

+++

I awoke, wishing I hadn’t.

Wishing I just went to rest permanently, the memories of what I said the previous night haunted me even before I opened my eyes.

Calling me the scum of the earth would be an insult to the scum.

The room we rented in the inn was about two stories off the ground, perhaps I could atone with my death.

However, a voice stopped me in the middle of my self-destructive thoughts: “My dear, are you awake?”

I shut my eyes harder, but there was no fooling mother.

“Alfy, I have breakfast ready, it's quite the special one today.” Despite my silent protest, my mother lifted me from my bed and sat me down beside her. 

Her warm hands were somehow comforting.

As I opened my eyes I saw a gentle smile on her face; there were noticeable bags under her eyes from an obvious lack of sleep. She hadn’t been around for a while so I wondered what she was up to, but looks like she has it tough as well.

Life really isn’t easy for anybody.

“Eat up Alfy.” She pushed me to eat, hard enough that I figured it was easier just to listen to her.

And so Breakfast was... bad.

What the heck.

It used to be bland before but now it just tastes mildly terrible. Half of the dish was burnt, and emitted a bitter aftertaste. 

Still... It was edible so I ate it without much complaint.

“How was it my dear?” She asked me with a wry smile.

“It was okay.” I replied.

She pouted a little bit and bopped me on the nose, “be honest now. Mommy doesn’t like children who lie.”

No fooling her huh.

“It... wasn’t very good.” I gave my honest thoughts about the breakfast, “It tasted burnt.”

“I see, I see. Don’t worry, mommy also thought it wasn’t very good.” She pulled me into a hug, wiping the crumbs off my face, “but you know who cooked it?

 Rafine did. 

Even though I’ve never seen her cook before, she tried her best all morning. What you’re eating right now is the eleventh or so try.”

I couldn’t speak. Something was caught in my throat, it felt like a massive lump.

“Rafine is an honest girl, she tries her hardest in everything she does. Teaching, magic, even cooking you know? She may not get it right all the time, but she really tries her best.” Mother stroked my hair, “she says she cooked it as an apology, for being a bad teacher to you.”

No.

That’s wrong.

She’s a great teacher.

Mother put me in front of her and looked straight at me, I could see my reflection on her emerald eyes, it was a sorry sight of a sobbing toddler. 

“Alfy. Did you do something wrong?” She asked while wiping my tears, no hint of malice, no hint of judgment. 

Just an honest question.

I nodded slowly.

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