Chapter 6: Chapter 5: Introspection

I must have slept long. People were busy in the room, the wooden shutters were open, and the sun was shining through the window frames. I blinked and got up.

Ugh, all four legs were aching. I moved them carefully and got up even more slowly. But I felt the call of nature. And this time I needed to go a little further for privacy.

When I came back, everyone was sitting in the morning sun in the front garden facing the fountain and enjoying breakfast, even Freya was up. She had traded her Sunday shirt again with the dark healer tunic. Said breakfast was just the leftovers from the evening, plus bread. For me, only the dark grey bread counted. It was almost burnt on the outside, but crunchy, and good to chew. It went well with the rest of my soup.

Then it was time for farewell. I put on my saddle bag, with several carrots and two loaves of bread heavier, and we, or rather I set to the road with a slow walk to soothe my sore muscles. The children were running for some time next to us until they also bid farewell. I called for Kulow and gave him two of the small copper coins from my purse. "For candy," even though I was not sure if he could use them in the village. Heck, I had not even an idea of their value.

To not drag this out, I gave a short spurt until the children were out of sight, despite the protesting legs. After a short stop to tighten the saddle bag buckle one notch further, I continued with yesterday's walking pace. The aching slowly faded, but my steps still felt heavier.

We started the language lessons again. I was even more motivated, and from the time with the children, I had a clear idea of which words I wanted to learn first.

After my throat felt hoarse, I decide to change the topic. "Freya, why is your mindspeak so good? I mean, no offence, you are a healer apprentice, and most of the clerics were less fluent."

"Natural talent." I could feel how she sat up straight. "Well, and as an apprentice, I have to do still mostly aftercare. With a lot of wounded soldiers from Kwal, who no one wants to care for. So they fell to us. And I am not speaking Kwal."

"But if apprentices all can do mindspeak"

"No, I really have the knack for it. And as I told you, I tended the poor centaurs. They knew even less Kwal than I know now. So, I had to send them concepts, which is the core of mindspeak. Communicating with them was hard work, and everybody was happy to shove this in my direction. So, I became the centaur expert too."

I needed to tread carefully. "Say, is this why you took care of me?"

"Of course, at least at the beginning. But you are really a refreshingly different person."

"Inside and outside, now."

She giggled. "Exactly. Even with two legs, you would be lots of fun."

I blushed. Strangely, I couldn't remember being that able to entertain. "You are coaxing this out of me."

"So, we make a good team!"

"I walk and entertain and you," I coughed badly, I had really swallowed a fly.

"Yes!" she beamed.

* * *

Most of the morning was dense hilly forests, apart from two rivulet crossings (ew mud). But now we were at a lakeshore. As soon as I saw it, I galloped and then briskly braked, already unbuckling the saddle bag. Swimming, I loved swimming, especially in lakes.

"Heyhey, you crazy cat. You do not"

I had just won the fight of my big fingers against the buttons of my shirt. The latter flew aside as well. "Yes, swimming!"

Freya looked at me like I was more bonkers than normal. "You really?"

"Yes, swimming!" End of vocabulary, end of discussion. With that, I put her down and run for the water.

It was ice cold, but I went deeper. The beach dropped steeply and soon I swam. It went well, the middle legs just did breaststrokes too, and I was as fast as I remembered. But the lake was really cold, and after hundred strokes out, I turned back. I shivered when I stood at the beach again, dripping.

Freya was grinning.

"What?"

"You shrank now."

I was not sure I understood correctly. Hence, I put my right front paw on a tree. (Not just a tree, corrected squirrel, grippy bark, leaves with rounded protrusions, and tasty acorns already late in summer.) Using the grippy bark for support, I stand on my hind legs, to better look down on me. Bending down, I saw mainly dripping fur; but indeed, with the fur clinging to my body, that was in no way close to a horse. Instead, it was even closer to that of an admittedly freakishly large human with extra pair of shoulders on top. A still wet and cold human, even in the sun.  At least the water was running off faster while standing.

"A towel would be great," I sighed.

Freya came, staring at me still standing on the hind paws. She was not even reaching to my front shoulders.

"Cold?"

"Yes, wet fur but no towel."

Freya grinned, and just took up a bunch of dried needles and run them over my fur. It was surprisingly effective to push the water out, maybe because of the fatty fur. And I enjoyed the rubbing thoroughly: Despite the effort of standing on the hind legs, I even purred. That seemed to further motivate Freya and with new vigour, she scrubbed every bit of my fur dry. The sun helped as well, and soon I was again my fluffy self, and at least two times the volume of the real body inside and feeling great.

"Thank you," I smiled at Freya.

"Any time," She blushed.

I was curious and tried again to walk on my hind legs. It was easier this second time, maybe because I had stood for some time already on them, And my former human could shine now. I was still upright after two minutes, I could even walk almost straight with little effort. But there was not much headroom here at the beach under the overhanging branches, and thus I dropped down to all fours. It felt more natural now. To distract everyone, my stomach growled embarrassingly loud.

"Big cat is hungry!" Freya carried the saddle bag to a flat rock in the sun.

I took a cabbage and one carrot for dessert from the bag and then lay lazily on the rock which overlooked the beach. I took the carrot in my front paw, and I could hold it almost as easily as with my large hands. Even the hind paws could grab it without much effort. Somehow that made me rather feel like an ape. Nevertheless, it was nice to have such a versatile body.

Freya lay next to me on her tunic, naked again, eyes half closed and dozing in the sun. After a while she rolled on my furred lower body, again sprawling her limbs to all sides. I was torn over her use of me as a mattress. She was not heavy, at least.

Dry and full we enjoyed the break until the sun went further and we were fully in the shade again. I had felt the call of nature for some time, and Freya's lying on my underbelly did not help.

"Freya?"

"Hnn?" She sat up.

"Ouch, elbow!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry!"

"Your mattress really needs to go."

She waved her arms and rolled down, with a disappointed face.

* * *

Instead of just walking back, I suddenly felt the urge to pounce at a small stone from a little further away. Stupid, but I still leaped and landed spot-on. And then next, and next.

Freya nearly broke down laughing.

"What?"

"Big cute cat playing" She intonated every word slowly, so I could even get it when she spoke aloud.

That let me stop, embarrassed. Cat! I will show her. Demonstratively, I stood up on my hind legs. "No, cat, Kiara."

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"So, an angry giant."

I did not like the last word. But I was not angry. I dropped on all fours again. "No angry. I confusion." Again lacking vocabulary. "I thinked."

"I was thinking." she corrected me. Then put her hand to mindspeak, "So what the matter."

"Your cat truly, she wants to know what it really is."

"Sorry, I have never"

"Ah, no. Not so philosophically. I mean what do you see? How human am I?"

She hesitated.

"Just the truth. I really want to know how people see me."

She took a few steps back, had a critical look, and then came back for mindspeak. "Well, at first glance your upper body passes as human, a strong beautiful woman. However, there are tufts on your slightly elongated and highly mobile ears. No human can move them like that. The first thing that's clearly not human. Given your tail, I would say the ears are squirrel, but I have never really looked at a squirrel's ears."

Squirrel ears? I didn't even realize I had mobile ears with tufts. I put my hands on them. Yes, bushels on top of them. Great, what other surprises were in store? "Ok, squirrel ears. What else?"

"Your hair is dense and quite reddish brown, same as your bushy eyebrows, again squirrel. Your nose is very broad, and your mouth quite large. Your lips are darker. But all are not outside the human norm. Clearly outside are your eyes, yellow with slitted pupils, very cat-like. Do you have good night vision?"

Do I? "I don't know." There were of course the nightly relieving in the moonlight. But I was lacking a reference.

"Then, if you smile, nobody would believe you are vegetarian with those fangs."

"Fangs?" I prodded my mouth, and yes, how could I have missed them. Two large fangs on each side.

"And your tongue is way broader and flatter than a human's. And it seems quite long. Can you lick your eyebrows?"

"What?" This got worse and worse.

"Aren't you curious? Please."

Freya's face was just two handspans away. Thus, I searched for a voice that was in charge of the tongue. It was a tiny one, and with her help, the tongue stretched out and out until it appeared in my left field of vision. I could move it to the right, but the eyebrows were out of reach. "Llll" I had a little cramp and drew it back.

"You speak really well for such a monster in your mouth. So while the fangs and eyes are certainly cat, the tongue, well, you need an animal healer to identify it. And your hair is probably squirrel, but you have some kind of mane down between your shoulders. I don't think squirrels have a mane. That is why your fine shirt has this cut out." She held up the shirt. "Err, you should put it on. When you were prancing around your er, weren't them bouncing, er."

I didn't realise that one could stutter in mindspeak and blushed even more than Freya. On it went, although the buttons still were a challenge for my broad fingers, with their claws hidden in their tips. "Yes, this shirt is certainly custom tailored. It fits so well," I tried to distract her.

"Eh? All shirts are made by a tailor. Unless handed down of course. No, I mean your shirt is made from Tangin silk. It will not stain easily and is very tough while still soft. And then round buttons cut from ivory. I think your shirt is worth five times the money you got for this courier job."

I was really shocked. "Nice clothing, so, I cannot, until, have to save more."

She giggled again. "Yes, definitively back to cute. Don't worry too much, you can get good linen, with some silk padding for your breast. Which are well-proportioned for your upper body size." And after a tiny break "Nicer than mine." She blushed.

"Honestly, these were always like that. Maybe they'd become firmer again."

"Well, nice," coldly. "Did you had also such broad shoulders?"

Did I? "Maybe. I was rather broad-shouldered, so clothes were always a little problematic."

"So, you had hand downs a lot? You were very poor?"

"No, but let's keep on topic. I explain later about industrial clothing."

"Ok, promise? Looking at your arms, I think they are longer, again just within the human range. The hands are definitively too large, but the proportions match. Could you put your hands down on the ground like your paws?"

I stand up and bent down, now crawling on six legs. "I am a centipede."

She giggled, "Sfg rgerg dsffsdv!" Then she switched back to healer mode and I grabbed my outstretched hand, then brushed over my upper spine and lower shoulder.

"Hmm, your body is fully straight. I think this is the default position of your spine; raising your upper body is straining your muscles a little, I would think. Can you bend further?"

Being upright was indeed the final bend of my shoulder-tight region: I could not bend further back, just further curling the upper spine. But it did not feel strenuous to stay upright. I lifted my shirt and looked at the belly region. Apart from a missing belly button, the muscles at work there were definitely not human. There was no softness there, only muscles in strange arrangements under tight skin.

"There is no stomach there, that's in your lower body. That was a basic check, done back in the camp. So yes, your arms are as long as your legs, and I bet they are created similar to your front legs. Just without the fur and almost like hairless paws with the shielded claws."

I smiled, yes, the claws. I had practised a little to control them, to not accidentally cut somebody. Now, I could now even extract the claws one by one, from thumb to index finger and back and grinned.

"You really went from cute to brute with that fanged smile and claws. I like the cute Kiara more."

I felt guilty and looked to the ground.

"And cute Kiara is back."

Somehow, I felt like being the immature, the young one. Ok, in this world I was two days old. Still, being tricked that easily by Freya had hurt my pride.

She stroked my fur. "And your fur is just dreamy." She put her head next to her hand. "And you smell so nice, like cinnamon. Not like sweat, and certainly not like horse, cat, or dog." She stroked my fur, and I started to purr.

"But you are not a cat, those legs are masterpieces. The front is more like a second human shoulder, you can feel the shoulder blades here and here. And while looking cat-like, your paws are very different: You are the only cat-like creature that could grab anything with paws. But paws with their hoof-like centre to run long distances without shoes. And your legs are longer than a cat's, but they are not horse legs either, or you would not able to jump like this. So, fully custom made, I would say. Actually, your entire lower body was very carefully put together." Then she stroked my underside. "You have no breasts there. Do you want to check also your er?"

"Yes, please."

She was gentle, but still ...

"Sorry, not much experience there. I would say everything around your vagina looks familiar, only a little larger. But you have a mini penis, smaller than a thumb, maybe for peeing straight. And everything is a little darker, the same colour as your lips." She went on quickly. "Finally, we have this fine long tail. That was clearly based on a squirrel, and it is as long as your body. The fur is similar but a little less dense." She sniffed. "It smells also a little different, less cinnamon. Still nice and still fluffy. Maybe in rain, you can use it as an umbrella, like a squirrel." She hugged the tip of my tail.

It was strange, but I let her for a few seconds. Still, "I am not a cuddle toy."

"Do you mind that?"

"It feels a little weird. But no." Honestly, I didn't mind at all. It was nice to have some affection, especially after that drastic change. I waited until she released my tail with a kiss.

"I think, I need the large tail for cooling."

"Wow, yes, your lower body could easily overheat with that thick fur. A complete package and so cute."

I ignored her slightly mocking undertone. "A mirror would be nice. Neither fountain nor lake was calm enough."

"There will be mirrors in Krenburg. You have to see the Hall of Mirrors in the old king's castle."

That sounds like something to look forward. "Then let's go!" I grabbed the bag and closed the belt buckle under me.

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