Chapter 42: 18.1

The Eighteenth Cup of Coffee Part 1

Checking the surveillance cameras really took a lot of time and energy. Xia Zhi’s patience had worn thin. Her worry from the beginning had transformed into agitation and she couldn’t stand it anymore. She frowned and complained, “He’s already that old and caused so much worry, everyday he only knows how to cause trouble!”

Yun Xian did not have the energy to reason with her. He only concentrated on the screen to try and find a familiar figure in the crowd.

Yun Qian had always been sensible and obedient. He could take care of himself and was familiar with the area. Because of this, Yun Xian was even more worried. No one knew where exactly he would go, what he would do, and what his mental state would be.

About an hour later, Yun Xian took off his glasses and rubbed his red eyes. Jiang Ying took a bottle of eye drops out of her bag and gave it to him.

Yun Xian took the small black bottle and asked her softly, “Are you tired?”

Jiang Ying shook her head. Her body was worn out since she had stayed up all night. The trip to another city already exhausted her physically, but her mind was tense and she couldn’t relax.

While they were going through the cameras, Xia Zhi had answered a few phone calls. She was the faculty head and was in charge of an important class. She had a lot of things she needed to take care of.

Jiang Ying got up and poured a cup of water. With a small smile to Xia Zhi, she put the paper cup next to her.

Xia Zhi had been busy all day and had no time to think about anything else. She stopped Jiang Ying and apologized, “I’m really sorry about today. You traveled from so far away and ended up here.”

Jiang Ying smiled and shook her head.

Xia Zhi’s mobile phone rang again. Seeing that it’s from Yun Qian’s homeroom teacher, she quickly picked it up.

“Hello, Teacher Tao… he came back to the school? That’s good, really good. We’ll come right away.”

Yun Xian also heard it and sighed with relief. He got up and said to the police behind him, “I’m really sorry, we wasted your time.”

The policeman waved his hand. “I’m just doing my job. Go back and properly talk to the kid!”

Yun Xian repeatedly replied that he would and walked out with a long stride.

Jiang Ying and Xia Zhi followed him and rushed back to school.

In the office, Yun Qian, who had been missing the entire day, was sitting on the armchair with his head down.

Yun Xian stopped at the door, panting. He took a few breaths to calm down.

Teacher Tao saw that the family had come. She got up to leave and give them some space. “He has already admitted his mistakes to me. You must have a proper talk with him. Yun Qian has always been a good one.”

Yun Xian nodded. “Thank you, teacher.”

Jiang Ying was standing behind Yun Xian. She wasn’t sure what was going through his mind and she was wondering how to stop him if there was a fight later. Yun Xian stepped forward and put his hand on the boy’s head. He asked in a low voice, “Did you eat anything? Are you hungry?”

Yun Qian was quite surprised, and shook his head blankly. The school uniform shirt was loose, and it looked airy on the boy’s thin body. His facial features are very similar to Yun Xian’s, but they were younger and softer. He probably knew that he had caused trouble, so he was sitting quietly, as if waiting for his fate.

“Let’s go home first. You won’t be able to study this evening. I’ll request a leave of absence for you from the teacher.” Yun Xian took his book bag. He even jokingly said, “You brought so many books with you to run away from home. The top student really can’t fail.”

Yun Qian blushed at what he said, and wondered whether his brother had said something ironic to chastise him.

Xia Zhi was standing to the side and finally said, “Take him back first. I still have two self-study night classes.” Then she turned and went out without looking back.

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Jiang Ying silently sighed. This family is really hard to figure out.

On the way back, Jiang Ying thought Yun Xian would have an interrogation, but he didn’t say anything besides asking if they had anything they wanted to eat and whether beef noodles were okay.

It was probably the first time that Yun Qian had done something bad, and he was ready to be severely criticized. In the end, no one scolded him, which made him even more nervous.

He glanced cautiously at Yun Xian, who was opening a take out app to seriously put in an order.

“Brother, don’t you have anything to scold me about?”

Jiang Ying couldn’t help it, and bursted out laughing, “You really wish he was scolding you.”

Yun Xian also thought it was funny and pinched his cheek. “Yes, how dare you skip school and end up running back to school. Are you terrified?”

Yun Qian grimaced and covered a part of his face, muttering, “I didn’t want to skip.”

“Then what did you want to do? Is the world so big that you want to go and see it?”

“I just didn’t want to go to school.” Yun Qian’s voice got smaller and smaller.

“I don’t know if I scored well on my exams or if my homework is correct or not. Teacher Tao told me that the exams will be finished in two weeks, and if I endure it, then it will soon be over. But for me, it’s the same if it’s a year, two weeks, or tomorrow. I feel numb. I can’t pay attention in class, and I feel sick when I see an exam. I don’t know what I want to do. When I sit in the classroom, I just feel pain. I feel like I’m suffocating.”

After that, Yun Qian leaned his head against the window in a daze and stared at the buildings that were flashing by. After a while, he spoke again, “Brother, do you think I’m a hypocrite? I really feel like I’m suffering.”

Yun Xian’s hand was clenched into a fist. After a while, he loosened it and patted Yun Qian on the shoulder.

How should he comfort his younger brother?

Tell him that the future was far away and that it wasn’t a big deal?

But Yun Xian looked back at the 30 years he had lived and only saw endless pain.

When his brother was two years old, his parents divorced. In Yun Qian’s mind, he did not have one memory of a complete family.

But Yun Xian did. He witnessed the collapse of a peaceful and happy family.

When his parents argued, he could always hear something like “I’ve sacrificed ___ and ___ for this family” as if he and his brother’s existence was constantly depriving them of their happiness and future.

He kept his head down to study, to work, to live.

Why did he resign? Why did he leave Beijing?

It was because he realized one day that he did not have any emotions.

He suffered from insomnia every night and was unable to sleep.

Almost asleep but conscious, Yun Xian always saw himself trapped at the bottom of the ocean. His body falling with no end, unable to see the sun or take in the fresh air.

On the verge of death, the blood gradually slowed down, and the weak pulse was only beating to maintain the last breath to live.

If a person felt pain while breathing, how could he continue to be alive?

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