Chapter 171: 133. Like Oil And Water

"Here we are," mum said as she parked the car in the small lot in front of the little building. "According to Rav the woman you're going to see knows about the supernatural, but everyone else in there is just a normal human. Not that I'm worried you'd start talking about those things with just anyone, but I wanted you to be aware just in case."

"Ok mum," I mumbled as I got out of the car.

It was about half past ten on Wednesday morning, and soon I'd be meeting a therapist for the very first time. I was anxious, and shy, and maybe a little worried that the other me might get involved or something.

Mum led the way, she opened the door for me then we went inside together. The waiting room had seating for seven or eight people but there was only one other person there, some middle-aged guy staring at his phone. I followed mum up to the receptionist's desk, where a woman in her late twenties sat. According to the sign on her desk her name was Rosa, and she greeted us both with a friendly smile.

"Hello there," mum responded quietly. "This is my daughter Cass, she's here to see a Miss Fuller?"

Rosa checked her computer then nodded, "Of course. Thanks for coming in early. I have some paperwork for you to fill out first if you don't mind? When you're finished just bring it back to me and I'll get you all set up."

She handed me a clipboard with some forms on it, along with a pen. Then mum and I sat down at the end of the row of chairs. It took about ten minutes to fill out all the stuff they wanted, most of it was easy like name address date of birth, that sort of thing. I listed mum as my emergency contact, and she suggested I could leave most of the medical history stuff blank since none of it applied to me. Mum helped with a few of the other questions too, and even though I was an adult I appreciated her help and having her there with me. There were also four or five different things I had to sign, but mum checked them with me and made sure everything was legit.

I gave the stuff back to Rosa when it was all done, then me and mum sat and waited. At one point someone else came out of one of the doors on the far wall and the other guy in the waiting room left with her. And someone else came in but he was only waiting for a minute or two before someone named Bev led him into another room. Right at eleven sharp a tall woman with red hair emerged from another room and came to see me.

"Cassandra Underwood?" she asked as she gave me a friendly smile. "I'm Theresa Fuller."

She looked young, like in her early twenties. Although I knew if she was some kind of supernatural she could be a lot older. She was dressed sort of business-casual, with some subtle make-up and her bright red hair was nicely styled and everything. One thing that stood out was the enchanted ring she had on a finger of her left hand.

The magic on it was intense, it reminded me of my parents' halos. It wasn't as bright as them, but it was still the strongest enchantment I'd seen in a while. And it made me think maybe she was an angel, and the ring was her halo that she'd shrunk down small. But I was positive mum would have said something if I was meeting another angel, which left me wondering. Angel or not she had holy magic on her hand so I knew she had to be associated with another god.

We did some awkward greetings and introductions, then mum gave me a supportive look as I followed the young woman through the door into her private office. She had a desk and a swivel chair against one wall, there was a sofa on the opposite wall, a bookcase off to the right, and a large easy-chair next to a window on the left.

"You can sit wherever you're most comfortable," she said as she took the office chair in front of the desk.

I picked the sofa and did my best to get comfortable sitting at one end of it. I was angled so I kind of faced the bookcase more than her, partially because I still felt shy and anxious but also because I didn't want to have to stare at the magic coming off her ring or I was going to get spots in my eyes.

Once I was settled Miss Fuller started talking a bit. She explained that I didn't have to get into any delicate or sensitive stuff with her unless I was comfortable, and that a lot of people used the first session as a way to get to know her and figure out if they had a good fit and stuff.

So we did that for a little while, like I told her I'd just graduated high school and was going into college in September. I also told her how I was doing volunteer work at the animal shelter with my little sister, and that I really liked bunnies and other cute cuddly critters. And I mentioned that me and my girlfriend just moved in together, and we were sharing a place with a few other friends.

Then she told me that she lived with her girlfriend too, and they just adopted a cat recently. Which was kind of cool, like I was glad to be talking to someone who not only knew about supernatural stuff but was also ok with queer stuff and she liked kitties too.

She also said at one point that I could call her Theresa or Tess if I wanted, I didn't have to call her Miss Fuller all the time.

"Ok um, Tess," I replied quietly. "You can call me Cass. I'm not... It's more comfortable than Cassandra."

"All right Cass," she gave me another friendly smile. "Now that we've both got to know each other a bit better, do you have any other questions for me? Or is there something else you'd like to talk about?"

After a couple seconds of hesitation I figured I should get the supernatural stuff out of the way, "Um, you were recommended to us by someone named Rav? Or um, I think she's also called Raven? She said it was safe to talk with you about stuff that um, most folks wouldn't understand."

Miss Fuller's eyes widened slightly and she seemed to get what I was saying. She definitely recognized Raven's name anyways.

A moment later she confirmed that, "All right Cass, I understand. I'm sure you already know this but anything you tell me in a session is confidential, it won't leave this office. One of the forms Rosa would have given you to sign would have told you that a lot of my work does get reviewed by my supervisor Bev? She's my boss, she runs the clinic? Having said that, anything you want to tell me that's particularly sensitive definitely won't be shared with her, or any of the other staff here."

I nodded quietly, but didn't have anything else to say on that subject so the two of us sat in silence for a couple seconds.

She eventually asked, "Is that what you're here to talk about? Something... unusual, or supernatural?"

"I guess?" I shrugged. "Or sort of, anyways."

I gulped then took a deep breath and finally started trying to explain things. I was mostly staring at the bookcase off to the side as I talked, and my voice was even softer than usual.

"So I'm um," I hesitated, "I'm not human. I guess I'm a hybrid? Half one kind of supernatural, half something else. And lately it feels like my two halfs aren't... It's like we're two separate people in a way?"

"Except growing up I thought I was human," I added. "I thought I was just a normal average..."

My voice trailed off and I grimaced, "That's another thing actually. I'm trans, I thought I was a normal average human guy. I was a nobody, I was shy and didn't have any friends, I spent most of my time reading books and stuff? Then a couple months after my seventeenth birthday there was a kind of accident with some magic and suddenly I was a girl. And next thing I knew magic was real and there's witches and werewolfs and all that other stuff was real too. And suddenly I had friends, I even got a girlfriend. And I was just getting used to all that stuff when I found out that not only was I a girl but I wasn't even human? That was only like eight months after the whole thing started."

Miss Fuller was quiet through all that, but when I finally stopped talking I glanced at her and saw the look of surprise on her face.

She finally responded, "Ok... Wow. So you had a tremendous amount of upheaval and change in your life when you were seventeen. How old are you now?"

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"I'm um, I'll be nineteen at the end of this month," I told her.

"All right Cass," Theresa replied. "So it's been less than two years since all this started? You went from thinking you were a typical human boy to finding out you're neither human or a boy. It's no wonder you're having some trouble integrating all this new information about yourself. You mentioned being a hybrid, I take it your parents are two different kinds of supernaturals? Even among humans having different cultural backgrounds can lead to some issues growing up, especially if both parents are eager to share their heritage with their child. And especially when the child is sensitive or has other issues going on."

I shook my head, "My parents aren't... I was adopted. My parents are supernatural too, but they're not like me. Mom and mum are um, they're both fallen angels."

"Ah," she nodded slowly. "Do you know or have you found out about your birth parents? Who they are, or where they're from?"

That made me sigh, I really didn't feel like going into that story since it was long and confusing. After a couple seconds I came up with what I hoped was a shorter easier explanation.

"I don't really have birth parents?" I explained. "I was kind of created. And the thing is, the two different supernaturals I was made from aren't supposed to mix? Like um, oil and water I guess? So yeah. It's like my two halfs are sort of separate even though I'm supposed to be just one person."

I glanced at Theresa again at that point, and from the look on her face I figured she had no idea how to respond to that. I started to worry that maybe I freaked her out with that information, now maybe she thought I was some sort of monster or something.

After another short pause Miss Fuller finally spoke up again. She asked, "How does that feeling of being separate come across for you? Can you maybe try to explain what it's like for you? Or give me an example, so I can understand what it means to you?"

"I'll try," I grimaced. "So um, I guess the easiest thing is with my name? Like I said, I prefer being called Cass? But she likes to be called Cassandra. And another thing is I'm kind of... I get anxious a lot, and I guess I'm kind of shy? But she's really confident, she doesn't get shy or flustered. And she seems to be a lot more brave than me? Like I know stuff can't hurt me, but I still worry about it? And I still prefer to stay quiet and not call attention to myself, I get self-conscious when people notice me. She doesn't seem to care at all about any of that stuff."

Theresa was staring at me again, with a sort of intense thoughtful expression that made me self-conscious again. I looked at the bookcase as I sank down a bit into the sofa, and I couldn't help wondering or worrying if maybe not-me would actually show up and say something.

It was several more seconds before Miss Fuller spoke up again, and when she did she talked slowly, as if she was carefully choosing her words. "Thank you for sharing that with me Cass, I'm sure it couldn't have been easy for you. The person you were describing, I take it she goes by the name Cassandra? She's the one who's brave and confident?"

I shrugged then nodded, "Yeah I guess so?"

"I see," Theresa replied. "Has Cassandra ever spoken to you? Have you ever had a conversation with her?"

That made me blush and cringe, and I kept my attention firmly on the bookcase.

It was funny, I'd been staring at that a lot but I hadn't read a single thing on any of the countless book spines that were visible. It was more like an abstract shape, the bookcase itself was black laminate uprights and shelves, while the books were dozens or hundreds of coloured vertical dashes, with smaller speckles of colour or white forming the lettering.

There were also countless little nicknacks on the shelves, and the lowest shelf even had what looked like a little basket of toys in it. I figured they were for when she was working with children. Or maybe if she had patients who had to bring their kids in with them.

"Cass?" Miss Fuller asked after a minute or so. "Has Cassandra ever spoken to you?"

I sighed, "Yeah. Not a lot though? I don't... I feel really awkward when she does. The first time was only about a month ago? Actually I think it was on Canada Day, so yeah, just over a month ago."

She nodded slowly, "Does she ever do things without you? Or do your friends and family mention events or conversations with you that you don't remember having?"

By that point I could feel a cold lump settling in my gut. It was obvious the therapist knew or had some idea what was wrong with me, since she was asking questions about the stuff that made me the most uncomfortable.

"Yeah," I sighed again. "I don't want to talk about it though."

"Of course," she replied. Then she apologized, "I'm sorry Cass, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

A moment later she added, "And we're actually just about at the end of our time today. Is there anything else you'd like to say or talk about in the last minute or two?"

"Not really," I replied quietly as I shook my head.

"All right Cass," Theresa responded. Then she gave me a friendly smile and said, "I hope you're not looking at the bookcase because you think I'm scary or anything?"

That made me grimace, "No ma'am it's not that. It's your ring? I can see the magic on it, the divine enchantment is really bright."

She was speechless for the next couple seconds as she stared down at her left hand.

"You... You can actually see the magic?" she asked quietly. "And you can tell it's divine? I had no idea anyone could see that."

I shrugged as I got to my feet, "I'm pretty sure it's just a 'me' thing? Someone told me it's a really rare talent. Or unique maybe."

"Ah," Miss Fuller nodded slowly.

Then with our time over she stood up as well and walked me out.