Chapter 4: Mess

stands up and walks straight to his room . as he walked ,he kept thinking that he hadn't done anything wrong by telling him to leave. should I have been a little more greedy then? what would happen if I had apologized to him then? ( his heart overflowed with pain , regret, greediness )

everyone except you tells me to die , to leave them alone, I'm that bad.

no one consider me important except you."

I thought I'd tell you those bitter words ,you grabbed my collar and slap me and curse me for lifetime."

but..... your expressions describe different story.. the pain hidden behind the teary eyes and the happy smile for me on your lips at that time made me feel like I was not leaving you but going to commit suicide ."

(he walks slowly to the front door of his room. pushes the door. his eyes overload with tears the whole room seemed dim to him. finally by supporting himself he reaches for his bed , his whole room filled with Nicolas's pictures . he picks up a photo on the table .seems like his whole world soaked into this picture. he started fondling the photo. glass frame filled with water as soon as he saw it. he burst into tears. his teary face give us a deep heartache .he started throwing things away.

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"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh" sob sob (he screams )

"why didn't you try to get angry at me ?"aaaaahh" sob sob "why ? just why? cough* cough*

you loved me . a lot is said in love what did it mean that I told you to go and you didn't even try to explain to me once .sob*sob . why u leave me alone ..( seems like nature also cry over his mess up teary face , seems he try to console him but didn't get courage .)

I admit it .it was my fault . I was wrong from the beginning . but why u take my words serious. why ? why? u even didn't give glance... sob* sob* ugh .(his tears keep flowing ,he got red bags under his eyes,his mouth drolling ,his whole face become mess.)

it's not your fault. it's my fault I fell in love with you so much, that I lost myself"

I love u nic-------(he unconsciously falls. seems he lost himself. he is in so much pain that he collapse easily. his whole body in heat . even in a state of unconsciousness he kept repeating his name)

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