“No. It’s not! Please believe me, Ren. I do not have any relationship with Prince Kin. There is nothing between us…I don’t feel anything for him. Please believe me!” I pleaded desperately. I felt like I was going to start crying again.
What can I say to make Ren believe me? What can I do to make him believe me?
“Come closer,” Ren said, as he beckoned me towards him with his hand.
Slowly, I approached him, not sure what he wanted me to do. Ren patted the spot next to him on the wooden sofa, telling me that he wanted me to sit beside him. I sat down next to him as he had indicated. Now that I was close to Ren, I felt like bursting into tears once again.
“Listen to what I’m about to say and listen well, Rin,” Ren said as he took my chin in between his fingers and made sure that I was looking straight into his eyes.
I nodded slowly. To be honest, I was scared of everything that was happening. Suddenly, everything seemed like it was my fault instead of me being the victim. I was drugged and almost raped, but everything now looks like I was the one to blame.
“It doesn’t matter what I believe, Rin,” Ren said slowly and clearly.
“What do you mean? Of course, it does! What you believe is the only thing that matters to me,” I replied in shock and confusion. To me, the only thing that matters is whether Ren believes me or not.
“Whether or not I believe your story, doesn’t matter. The truth doesn’t matter. What matters is what the emperor will believe and what punishment he will decide on,” Ren explained, solemnly.
“Do you…believe me?” I asked, feeling some hope.
“I just told you twice. It doesn’t matter what I believe,” Ren replied stiffly.
I guess he doesn’t believe me, or at least, not completely. Of course, faith and trust that has been lost is not easy to restore and I have lost his trust. That alone saddened me more than anything.
“That’s not true. For me, all that matters is for you to believe me…” I whispered.
“My belief in you can’t save your life,” Ren stated flatly.
“What…do you mean?” I asked, sensing that something bad was about to happen.
“I told you before about the punishment for infidelity of royal concubines. They’ll kill you and everyone related to you, Rin,” Ren said, seriously.
“That’s…it can’t be. I never…I would never do such a thing!” I immediately denied.
My whole face and body felt numb from fear as I realized the full implication of what Ren has been saying. If the emperor and the high court believes that I’ve had a love affair with Prince Kin, then the least that will happen is that I will lose my life and the worse…I didn’t even want to imagine.
“Judging from your expression, I guess you’re starting to get it now. However, that is not all. If Kin is able to convince the emperor that you were the one who seduced him, then it is very likely that he will get off without blame and the only one who will be punished will be you,” Ren explained further. His tone void of any emotions. If I was looking for sympathy or empathy from Ren, he was no willing to give it.
“No…that’s insane! Ren…please help me. You have to believe me. This is all a big misunderstanding,” I pleaded.
“If I were to believe you, that wouldn’t change the fact that we’re at a disadvantage. Let’s say that your story is true, then Kin tried to **** my woman, but I can’t get the emperor to punish him without sacrificing you as well. Where does that leave me, Rin?” Ren asked as his eyes narrowed at me.
I see now. For the first time, I realized the paradox in all of this. If Ren accuses Prince Kin of engaging in inappropriate acts with me then that would mean that I was also part of the act, and I would be punished accordingly. In other words, there was no way for Ren to ensure that Prince Kin received his punishment while also shielding me from blame.
If Prince Kin planned all this in advance, then it was a very well thought out and executed plan. I could understand Ren’s frustration and anger more now that I could see it from his point of view. He was right, where did my selfish actions leave him?
Ren sighs a frustrated sigh before he began getting up from his seat. He’s going to leave?
“Ren…please. I’m so sorry. I’ll do anything…please don’t leave…” I begged him.
I held onto his arm like I was holding on to dear life. What will happen to me if he leaves me now? What would happen to us?
Ren paused as he stopped and turned to look at me. His hand approached my face before grabbing my chin, forcing my face up to look directly at him. His eyes at that moment were so cold and frightening. I would rather have him scream at me and hit me than face his cold and silent anger like this.
“Rin, if you don’t do exactly what I tell you to, then I cannot protect you. It’s that simple,” Ren stated coldly.
“I know that everything happened because I didn’t heed your warnings. I am so sorry, Ren. I will never do it again. From now on, I’ll do everything that you tell me to,” I apologized again. I hoped that he would give me another chance.
“Do I have your absolute word?” Ren asked, his tone serious.
“Yes. I promise. No, I swear!” I quickly promised before he changes his mind. I’ll do anything if Ren would just give me another chance.
“I see. Then you shouldn’t mind if I put your oath to the test right now,” Ren said, his eyes narrowing at me.
“Huh?” I let out a surprised sound of confusion.
“Strip, Rin,” Ren commanded.
I didn’t quite believe what I was hearing. Did Ren just tell me to take off my clothes? Right now? Why now?
“Ren…?” I called his name questioningly. Not sure if I understood him correctly.