The doctors were shocked, and it showed on their faces. Ren, on the other hand, closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. I could guess that he too was at least, dissatisfied with my answer. However, my will will not waver. I had thought deep and hard about my decision. If Ren wouldn’t change his ways of wanting or needing to go to war then, I must find some way to be useful to him and the soldiers on the battlefield.
Since it was obvious that I had little use physically fighting a battle, I arrived at the conclusion that I could join the medical team when the army marched off to battle. I’ll treat the wounded soldiers and keep as many of them alive as possible and if Ren got hurt, then I’ll treat him too.
That was the conclusion that I had reached.
“I beg your pardon, My Lady…” the doctor managed to say softly and hesitantly as his eyes darted around in all directions in his panic.
I guess, I just dropped a huge bomb on them there…
“Lady White Lotus…we shall discuss this when we are alone,” Ren said, his tone dark.
I heaved a sigh. It wasn’t like I expected my crazy-sounding idea to pass with flying colors or anything like that but still, this was quite depressing.
“Well, we’ll start off with standard lessons first then…” another doctor said, trying to lighten the mood.
I just smiled a little at him in reply. Guess that will have to be it for now. No point in trying to push my luck too far especially on the first day.
…
Surprisingly, it didn’t take that long for me to settle into my new schedule. Just as I had expected, I truly enjoyed my time studying medicine with the royal doctors.
“We have some herbs here that can numb the area around the wound before we start the stitching…” a doctor that I was paired up with for the day started to explain.
Unfortunately, there’s always a battle somewhere in the empire and soldiers that needed extra medical attention and recovery were sent here. The doctors told me that there were other hospitals in other towns but there were not enough doctors to man them.
I watched closely as the doctor explained the various herbs required to produce a temporary numbing effect before he skillfully applied the crushed herb onto the patient’s wound. Although the soldier tried to be brave about it, it must have hurt like crazy, and I hoped that the numbing effect would set in soon. This was something new that I have only heard of but never seen for myself before. It was eye-opening for me.
Although Ren did mention that he wanted to talk to me in private regarding my aspirations of being a field doctor out in the battlefield, that conversation and my lessons with Ren were delayed for at least another week because he had urgent matters to attend to.
Ren hasn’t been back to the palace for almost a week now. Tasked by the emperor to visit some governors in his place, Ren was away with Shin. It was sad that I couldn’t spend time with Ren, but I had more than enough things to do to keep me occupied. At least, this time I knew where he went and that he didn’t go off to war.
By the time Ren returned, I was too swamped with work in the clinic that we barely had time to see each other. I was at the clinic to help out every day of the week due to a large influx of patients from the boarders. There was so much to do that I barely had enough rest as I worked along with the royal doctors well into the evening.
I felt very tired, but it was a rewarding experience. The old royal doctors seemed to have more stamina than I had initially imagined. They were tough and demanding in their teachings, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Dinner on some days were the only time that I met with Ren. Ren had invited me to have dinner at his palace and with the doctors being overly encouraging that I should attend, I had hesitantly put aside my duty of caring for the patients to have dinner with Ren.
“I haven’t seen you for over a week. How have you been?” Ren asked as he watched me intently.
I stared at the untouched food on the table and felt like I had no appetite at all. To be honest, I was too worried about the situation at the hospital to focus on anything else. Clearly, I wasn’t the one with the most advanced skills but having more hands to help out does make a difference. That was what I believed anyways.
“Rin?” Ren called out name and I realized that I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts and haven’t replied to his questions.
“Oh…umm…I’m fine. Things are just a little bit busy…” I replied before smiling weakly at Ren.
Ren sipped his tea as his eyes stared at my face. He was silent for a moment before he sighed loudly and gestured with his hand for me to start eating. I guess that I was thankful that Ren did not push for more details.
“Let’s eat…” I said softly.
We ate in silence and the food seemed to have absolutely no taste in my mouth. It was definitely me and not the cook’s fault. Regardless, to not worry Ren any further I decided to continue shoving tasteless food into my mouth, chewing on it, and then swallowing it to get this over and done with.
“You should take a break now and then to rest. You look worn out…” Ren said as he placed his chopsticks down.
“Yeah…I guess…” I replied vaguely.
“That’s not good enough, Rin,” Ren said, and I could sense a hint of dissatisfaction in his voice.
“What’s…not good enough?” I asked, not quite following.
“You will commit to getting enough rest and pacing yourself. Now that I’m back, I intend to make you take lessons with me just like we had planned,” Ren stated and his words were final.