Chapter 92: 92: Awkwardness Simulator

Yan Mingqing regretted all her life choices. What was she thinking?! What kind of stupid confidence did she have in that moment after winning that allowed her to do that?!

Wanting to curl up in a corner and scream—or die, that worked too—Mingqing stole a few glances towards Lin Songmei. 

Songmei was just kinda just laying there, frozen like a statue, taking shallow breaths. Her face too, was a shade of red Mingqing had never seen before, even after spending so much time together.

It was too early to tell.

Mingqing still hoped Songmei would have a positive reaction… Was it a good red? Or an “I’m about to start crying” red? Or an “I’m about to report you” red?

Of course, Mingqing wasn't as dense as rock, so she was pretty sure Songmei liked her. HOWEVER, looking back, maybe a little more thought into if Songmei would be receptive to that type of rapid escalation would have helped. 

Just… it was just Songmei was so damn cute! How was Mingqing supposed to resist? 

Well, probably with logic and reasoning and not being in love and also just being not dumb, but that was beside the point.

Was she supposed to give Songmei a hug and apologize? Or maybe the hug would make it worse? Maybe a written apology, a bunch of money, and then a disappearance from her life? 

Pressing her face against the wall (it was a substitute for slamming it against the wall), Mingqing stood there, trying to fuse with it, or at least sink into it. Her brain was a soup, like the ones Songmei always drank, empty, hot, and steaming. Digging her fingers into her palm, Mingqing pressed her other hand against her chest, slowing her breathing. 

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Songmei’s mind was a mess, a tornado, a hurricane, a typhoon, a whatever disaster there was to compare it with... 

What?!?!?!

W-What... What just happened?

Well she got kissed, no duh, but... 

It was Mingqing!!! More than that, it was Songmei’s first!!!

Songmei didn’t know if Mingqing had dated anyone before, if she had to guess, it’d either be a literal boatload because of the whole rich young miss situation, or it’d be none because of the whole overbearing parents situation. 

That didn't help the embarrassment at all but it was something to think about? ...But also, that kiss was so nice, like, like, like... real nice. And also, Mingqing’s lips really were as soft as Songmei thought they’d be... 

Ahem. 

Still splayed out on the ground, Songmei saw out of the corner of her eye that Mingqing was doing something (something Songmei had no idea about) over there in the corner. Patting her cheeks, Songmei grinned, her cheeks were still warm, but not as red as they were earlier, earlier her cheeks were probably as red as the blood Liu Xueli coughed up. 

Coughing, Songmei pushed herself up to sit. “S-So... uhm... Mingqing? Uhh-”

“Yep, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Mingqing interrupted, before breaking out into rap. “I should’ve asked you, I should’ve taken it slower, I-” 

Watching Songmei’s eyebrow’s furrow, Mingqing paused, taking a deep breath. “Sorry, it was just I like you, like, like like you, or just, I... I love you.” 

“O... Oh...” Blinking and choking for a second, Songmei opened and closed her mouth a few times before waving her hands and stammering. “W-Wait, wait, don’t seem sad, I love you too!”  

Silence. 

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Stumbling over and sitting down in front of Songmei, Mingqing let out a long exhale with an incredulous, “Really?”

“I mean... yeah, really,” Songmei nodded, a creep of pink appearing back on her cheeks, “Like... a pretty bad crush...” 

A sigh and laugh of relief escaping her lips, Mingqing held Songmei’s hands, giving them a squeeze. “I knew, but... well I didn’t know, but I thought I knew, and turns out I did know.” 

“I don’t know how I’m understanding what you’re saying but... then if you knew I liked you, since when have you liked me?” Songmei asked, giving Mingqing’s hands a squeeze back. “Like has it been a while? Or was it, like, a yesterday thing? Like earlier today you said you were pondering something about love, was it whether or not you had a crush?” 

Hearing Songmei’s series of questions, Mingqing wanted to facepalm, but sadly her hands were too busy being held by Songmei (really, it was such a shame and Mingqing was so disappointed). “I... I’ve liked you since probably the first few days I got to the sect... how have you not noticed?” 

Panicked, Songmei’s eyes popped open as she began to stammer, “R-Really? Wait... really?? How... How did I not notice then? Wait what?! Really? You’re not gaslighting me are you?” 

Laughing her head off, Mingqing gave Songmei’s hands another squeeze while reassuring, “Why would I be? You’re cute, you’re so cuteeeee. I’m more surprised you never noticed, because I thought I took a while to notice... How long have you liked me?” 

“Well...” Songmei trailed off, averting her eyes, “I really realized, uhh... back when you were carrying me. It... It wasn’t that long ago, remember when my eyes stopped working?” 

“So... So.. So it’s been like a little less than a week?” Mingqing asked, an incredulous grin on her face, “I could’ve sworn it was longer...” 

“In my defense!” Songmei maintained with an awkward chuckle, “I think I’ve actually liked you for a while... I just didn’t realize it was love. I thought it was just normal uhm... normal friendship. I haven’t had many friends, you see.” 

“Mhm,” Mingqing conceded, still jumping with joy on the inside seeing that things turned out well. “Still though, gotta say, you really are dense. I realized within a week of you realizing, and you didn’t realize until uhh... you got kissed.” 

Seeing Mingqing’s teasing grin start to twitch at the corners of her mouth now that the situation was calming down, Songmei defended, “It’s not my fault that you apparently have award-winning acting skills...” 

“I really don’t,” Mingqing shrugged, matching the squint that Songmei was giving her. 

“... Anyway then,” Songmei changed the topic with an embarrassed cough, eliciting another chuckle from Mingqing, “Just... for my own curiosity, how many people have you dated before? You don’t have to answer, of course, if you don’t want to.” 

“I mean, it’s none, so I don’t really care,” Mingqing answered with a casual nod of the head. “Parents are strict, that whole thing. I’ve gotten close with several people, a couple guys, more than a couple girls, but I’ve never dated any of them.” 

“So...” Songmei began with an awkward look. “What situation are we in then? I, of course, have no parents that I need to worry about, but uhh... What about you?” 

It was a little ironic to discuss the topic—especially considering the fact that they were sitting facing each other while holding each other’s hands—but it was important. Mingqing’s parents were more than just important people after all, they had the power to sway nations, to sway sects, and to sway the world in general. 

Well, they could also probably cause immense damage to those places as well, but that just bolsters the influence they hold. 

‘I influence you to do this otherwise I smash your face in’ type of influence. 

“Well... that certainly is a good question,” Mingqing mused with an awkward laugh. “I mean I’m open to just... start dating. Things are different now that I’m in a sect and not living at home, learning from private tutors and stuff.” 

Feeling Mingqing’s hands begin to clam up a bit, Songmei gave them a quiet squeeze. “It’s okay, we can always talk about it later, want to go get lunch first?” 

“Y-Yeah... sure, yeah, that sounds good,” Mingqing murmured, a little bit of worry flitting across her face. 

Unlacing one of her hands and standing up, Songmei added, “Also, just a random thought, what do we tell Xueli?”