Chapter 14: Chapter 14: The Forbidden Room

Chapter 14:

The Forbidden Room

I married my wife about a couple months ago. She was like a beacon in the dark. Pulling me from my dread and depression. Of course, that was going nowhere anytime soon. Chronic depression is a bitch.

However, since being with her I have felt better than I ever have before. I am still waiting for that burn and crash that always comes along, but the more that she does for me, the more I believe it will never come. That's dangerous.

Still, she loves me, and I want to believe it. She lets me do anything I want, go anywhere, and do anything. With one exception.

A room in every home she owns. There is one room that I'm not allowed to enter. One room that she says is off limits. A room that makes me very curious.

I've now lived in two of her homes, and even the suite at her work has a room I'm not allowed in as well. They're all the same. A double door, intricately carved of heavy wood. Leafed vines etched into the wood form a beautiful, elegant pattern.

It was the only place I couldn't go. The only thing I couldn't do. I respected that. Of all the things she restricted me from doing, that was it.

"Well, there was one other..." I smiled to myself when I remembered her words, "You told me I couldn't escape you...Honestly, I wouldn't want to. I just hope that my trust was rightfully placed this time..."

I stood before this door so many times. Just staring at it, but never entering. I knew the guards most likely reported me to her. They answered to her, after all. I didn't mind.

Just a single hand upon the smooth wood of the door before I would walk away. Today, however, was different. I had asked to be left alone today. Two guards almost always followed me, and it was tiring. When Cecelia heard about this, she dismissed them unless I went out alone.

Standing before this door, I wondered at the things behind it. She never seemed like someone to hide things from me.

"Why this door?" I wasn't sure, but I wanted to find out. "Will she be mad?"

A gloom settled over me at the thought. It was the one thing I didn't want to do. To upset her would break my heart. I always made mistakes and lost those I cared about. I got too excited about things I enjoyed, or I would become so depressive and lost in myself that before I knew I had pushed them all away.

There were others, of course, that just weren't good for me. Using me, abusing me in various ways. I wasn't always at fault, but I felt like I was. Like I deserved it all.

Taking a breath, I placed my hand upon the door as I always did. Its surface was smooth, with each groove of the carvings incredibly detailed. Placing my forehead against the door, I wasn't sure I could do it. If I upset her, then what?

"No...I shouldn't," Steeling myself and pushing away from the door, I turned to leave.

"...I can't," I mumbled out loud, shaking my head.

"Alex?" Cecelia's voice set me to nearly jump out of my skin.

Holding my hand to my chest, I felt my heart jumping around inside of me. Catching my breath, I looked up to see my wife standing before me. Concern and curiosity written on her face.

"C-Cecelia..." I breathed, anxious, "I didn't hear you..."

"Yeah, I move silently," Her smile was half-hearted, her eyes going towards the door, "Sorry for giving you a fright. What were you doing?"

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"Oh, I was just thinking of breaking the one bit of trust you put in me, that's all," I scoffed to myself as I knew I couldn't say that, but outwardly I was just guilty.

The feeling of it washing over me as I looked to the floor. I was unable to look her in the eye, but I couldn't lie to her.

"I...was looking at the door," I told her, playing with the hem of my shirt, "I know you've asked me not to go into these rooms, and I wasn't going to, but..."

Glancing up at her, she watched me with calm suspicion. My heart sunk, "I knew it...she'd be really upset. She already is..."

"I thought of going in..." Shifting around under her scrutiny, I closed my eyes and waited for her anger.

My fingers playing roughly with the hem of my shirt, picking at it as I waited. "Is she going to say anything, or...?"

"...I didn't think it'd be so soon," Her voice was soft, pensive, "My dear, did you think I'd be upset? You're shaking like a leaf..."

I didn't notice it before, but she was right. I felt her gentle hand upon my face, opening my eyes to look up at her. The relief I felt wash over me was immense. That wasn't the face of someone angry or upset, but someone afraid. The relief soon replaced by concern. I didn't want her afraid either.

"Y-You told me to never enter..." Staring at her chin and lips, I found myself feeling rather sheepish, "I didn't want to upset you...but I definitely don't want you to be afraid. I won't enter, I promise you."

She simply shook her head, a kind smile curling her lips.

"No, that's not it..." Her words warm, I felt myself wondering just what was going on, "I did ask you to not enter, but I knew one day you would. I just didn't think it would be now."

"I mean...I wasn't going to see it?" The thought crossed my mind as I gave her a perplexed look, "But...I haven't seen it?"

"Ha, no, but..." The look of fear returned, and I didn't like it.

"Cecelia..." I called out affectionately, tenderly as I wrapped my arms around her, "What is it? What makes you so afraid?"

"...That you'll resent me," Her responses was so quiet, I almost didn't hear it.

The sadness in her words was heavy, so heavy that I felt it. Tears began to form in my eyes at the thought of me resenting her, "This is dangerous...the more I fall for her, the more I grow attached. If she does hurt me...the pain is going to be a bitch."

"No..." I muttered, choking up, "I could never...I mean, not never, but...you haven't cheated on me, right? You haven't harmed me, right? You love me, right?"

I felt embarrassed as I asked all these questions in a row, but she didn't seem to mind.

"...All true," She smiled, laughing lightly as a bit of cheer returned to her, "Very well...just...give me a moment."

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