Chapter 136 - I Wish I Could Tell You Now

 

On the carriage ride home, I glared with discontent at his handsome face. ‘It had been a while since we’ve seen each other, but all he did today was joke around…’ We definitely shopped, ate cake and other delicious foods, but strangely, I kept feeling down. ‘I’m sure this is all because Max was speaking nonsense,’ I thought, then saw our mansion far in the distance. ‘I’m already home…’ I had gladly invited him to stay at our mansion if he had nowhere else to stay, but he simply told me that there were some people he owed a visit to in the past. I was lost in thought, when he broke the silence, bringing me back to reality.

“Jubelian,” he called me. 

The distant mansion had become increasingly nearer before I knew it. ‘It’s now time to say goodbye.’ I was about to let out an unconscious sigh, when he spoke as if he was giving me a notice.

“I won’t be able to come back for a while.” 

I didn’t know if ‘a while’ meant three days, a week, or even two months like last time. I couldn’t fathom what his definition of ‘a while’ was, but thought that he might grow tired of me if I clung on to him and asked about it. Instead, I responded calmly, thinking that I couldn’t lose the very first friend I had made. “Ah, really? When will you be back?” I was still curious, so I asked in the most indifferent tone I could muster up.

He hesitated, then answered slowly. “I’ll be back after the victory banquet.” 

The victory banquet hosted by the crown prince was scheduled to take place in 18 days. I was a little disappointed, but spoke without showing my feelings. “Okay. Promise me that you’ll stay healthy and well until then.”

“I will,” he said with a smile. He was someone who normally didn’t smile much, but, for some reason, was doing so a lot today.

‘What a pleasing sight to see.’ Although this was a contractual relationship, it was true that I had a lot of fun when he was around. I even felt flutters in my heart at times when I saw him, as he was the most handsome man in this world. Still, there was no way that he held any romantic interest in me. I also had no intention of dating him seriously. ‘I don’t want our friendship to become awkward, and don’t want to develop a crush on someone who I have no chance with.’ I firmly engraved my decision of staying as friends into my head.

“Let’s get off now,” he said at that moment. 

I prepared to get off and reached out my hand to him, who had already gotten out of the carriage. I grabbed his hand and stepped down. ‘Is it because it’s been two months? This feels weird as well,’ I noted.

“Jubelian,” he called me again.

“Yes?” I answered. 

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“Can I properly say goodbye to you?”

“Ah, of course,” I replied without much thought as I assumed a proper goodbye meant that he was going to bow to me. But what he did instead was slowly move his head to the back of my hand. ‘Is he trying to kiss the back of my hand?’ He was holding my hand loosely, which meant I could remove my hand from his if I wanted to. Even so, I simply remained still and watched him. His long eyelashes, as well as his sharp nose and his scarlet tinted lips were beautiful. I soon felt his soft lips touch the back of my hand and retreat. The kiss on the hand, that had felt terribly unpleasant when Radian had done it, was not unpleasant at all.

“I’ll see you then,” he murmured gently.

“Okay,” I nodded. He swiftly disappeared from my sight when I answered him. I looked in the direction in which he disappeared, then stared at the back of my hand. ‘Is it because he’s handsome? I feel like a princess who just received a kiss on the back of her hand from the prince.’ I was caught up in embarrassment for a moment, then recollected myself. ‘Stop, I shouldn’t be doing this.’ If I realized that someone I thought of as a friend had an ulterior motive, I would feel betrayed. If I fell for him now and chased him around and bothered him like I had done with Mikhail, then I was going to lose a precious friend.

“Wake up. He doesn’t like people like me,” I muttered to myself. The excitement that I had felt rising inside me subsided when I recited this mantra to get myself together. ‘Yes. My goal is to live a safe life. I should get it together.’ As I was recalling my objective in life, I suddenly heard a voice.

“Jubelian.” 

I became startled and turned around to see my father gazing at me. ‘Did he hear what I was saying to myself just now?’ Nervousness took hold of me as the fear of him finding out that Max and I were in a contractual relationship washed over me.

However, he simply reached out his hand to me and said, “Let’s go in.” A heavy warmth, similar to that of Max’s, covered my hand when I held my father’s hand. I wasn’t sure if I should be relieved or if he was just pretending to not have heard me, but my father didn’t say anything about what just transpired. I had lowered my guard, when I heard his voice. “I see that Max is back.”

“Oh, yes, he is! I’m so happy!” I exaggerated on purpose, thinking that my father might stop trying to set me up with the crown prince if I did so.

However, his response was different from what I expected. “How long do you intend to dwell on such informal meetings with him?”

“Ah, well…” ‘Is he telling me to meet him with confidence?’ I wasn’t sure what he meant, but soon found out why my father had said such things. 

“I would rather have you dance confidently at the banquet hall with the crown prince.”

I sighed at his words. ‘It’s never going to happen because I won’t be at the ballroom.’ I devised a plan to destroy my father’s useless hopes for a moment, then thought of Max’s face and smiled. ‘I hope the banquet passes by quickly…’

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