Chapter 11: CH 11

Today the entrance of Miskatonic University was crowded with people. All the new students would arrive at school that evening. Every investigator who wasn’t busy with a mission had gathered to chat and shoot the breeze.

Normally, these senior investigators were hard at work foiling the schemes of evil cultists around the world, so they didn’t get to spend much time together. The start of MU’s school year was when they arranged to meet courtesy of magic patterns, checking what kind of fresh blood Awakened had arrived, and watching the freshmen undergo the mandatory ritual.

That’s right, “mandatory ritual” referred to the Gate of Truth floating in midair.

This surprise was specially reserved for freshmen. Each new student got to feel the excitement of free falling from a height of ten thousand meters, and then in the interval between hopelessness and cardiac arrest, be caught by a nightgaunt and experience a tense and rapid bungee ricochet through the air.

Miskatonic University was located on the outskirts of the Dreamlands. To be more precise, it wasn’t located deep within the continent, but a narrow space between the real world and the realm of dreams.

The Dreamlands was constructed by biological subconsciousness and imagination. The political and financial systems were very well-developed, but the historical era mostly resembled the Middle Ages.

Given the circumstances in the Dreamlands, if a person had a powerful obsession, he could get everything he wanted there. It was a place where one’s imagination could become reality.

The narrow space where MU was located wasn’t governed by this law. MU had even pulled network cables to cover the entire campus with WiFi.

Countless races like the nightgaunts lived within the Dreamlands. They each had their own way of life, and they were quite dangerous to human beings.

The nightgaunt clan served Nodens, the Lord of the Great Abyss in the realm of dreams. After negotiations the Spire Council reached an agreement with this ancient god, who was relatively friendly to humans. At the end of the previous century, the Spire Council moved the school to the border of the Dreamlands and established a good relationship with the nightgaunts as their neighbors.

The nightgaunts were always up to mischief, so the investigators and the nightgaunts hit it off. The creatures had been contracted with the task of welcoming new students as they arrived.

Therefore, at this time of year, the senior investigators would get together and sit leisurely at the entrance of the school with a cup of afternoon tea, enjoying the exciting aerial program presented by the freshmen.

Meanwhile, on the other side, the battle in the air was getting white-hot.

He didn’t know where this unidentified creature came from, but if it wanted a fight, it was going to get one. Even if he was in the air. Zong Yan didn’t have the slightest intention of backing down.

As he fell through the sky, Zong Yan made ready to activate the Child of the Wind. His hand reached into the gap in space. In an instant he switched to his alternate persona and summoned the wind blade to launch his attack.

Just try to hurt me! How dare you grab my luggage! I’ll give you a fight!

Left hook! Uppercut! Spinning kick! Right in the chest!

Zong Yan as the Child of the Wind was full of fearless courage. He tumbled somersaults in the air, soaring fast and diving like it was nothing at all. He was far more aggressive than the nightgaunt.

Unfortunately, the poor nightgaunt wasn’t only grabbed by its horns, but also caught by the tail. Before it could react at all its face was punched into a swollen mess by the tiny human. It let out a miserable howl in the air.

It wasn’t a joke. A nightgaunt was an inferior species just like a star vampire. The only difference was that one served a master and one didn’t.

Two lesser species, and neither was more powerful than the other. When Zong Yan switched to his Child of the Wind layout he could tear up a star vampire hand-to-hand. Naturally he didn’t have a problem dealing with a nightgaunt.

During a flurry of violent blows, the buildings on the ground got closer and closer, until the bout finally ended in complete victory for the Child of the Wind.

With one foot pressed on the head of the nightgaunt, Zong Yan released the Child of the Wind effect. His face wore the easy smile of a victor, just like he was standing on some kind of levitating skateboard.

When an investigator saw this scene, the Pocky biscuit stick fell out of his mouth and he stared blankly at the sky.

“What’s wrong, Hoshino-kun?”

The lady who was shuffling cards beside him turned her head to look. “Didn’t Togashi-sensei just say on Twitter that he’s going back to work? Here’s my new cold joke—it looks like some cultists just summoned their lord to find out the ending of Hunter x Hunter.”

“No, Ms. Anastasia, this has nothing to do with《Shounen Jump》.”

The investigator named Hoshino quickly stood up from his chair and frantically waved his hands in the air.

“Stop it! What the hell are you doing? Those are the nightgaunts the school sent to pick up the new freshmen!! They just like to play pranks, they’re not malicious!”

When he yelled, the investigators who were sitting around chatting all looked up.

Everyone saw the teenager ride the nightgaunt through the air with reckless abandon.

There was dead silence.

“That kid’s a freshman, right? Not bad, I like it.”

A few investigators couldn’t help but whistle.

Thanks to the mandatory ritual, all the newly-arrived freshmen had been scared to death. After being caught in the mouth of a nightgaunt their faces looked like ash. Nobody thought one of the kids this year would straight up clobber a nightgaunt.

“Didn’t they say there was a young Monarch with unbelievable talent who just enrolled? I guess he’s the one who didn’t try to run.”

Anastasia fanned out her cards. “I wonder which of us will be his advisor. Ah, he looks young. So cute.”

When Zong Yan got close to the school, he sensed something wasn’t right.

There was a row of people standing below, wearing all different kinds of clothes. They didn’t look like students. They were staring directly at him.

If they weren’t students, they must be teachers.

Zong Yan had a very bad feeling.

“Pretty good. In all these years it’s the first time I’ve seen a freshman pummel a nightgaunt.”

After he landed, a professor with a pipe in his mouth smiled and patted him on the shoulder. “I think I can safely say that none of the nightgaunts will be willing to transport you anywhere in the future. Remember to apply to the vice chancellor for a teleportation pattern later.”

Passing over the cluster of instructors whose eyes sparkled with interest, on the opposite side the freshmen were sitting down, drinking hot tea while wrapped in blankets, staring with eyes as big as saucers.

These freshmen were the ones who’d endured the full onslaught of nightgaunt entertainment. They’d just had their first experience with spacewalking at high altitude, and it had gone on for a long time. Now they were huddled together, shivering with bloodless lips, and they weren’t able to calm down for quite a while.

They stared at Zong Yan like they were seeing an alien.

Zong Yan: …

He recalled He Yuan’s instructions before he got on the plane and couldn’t help but feel a bit sorrowful.

It was over. This was bad news.

Exposed right after he got to school. What was he supposed to do now?

—

After all the freshmen arrived, they were led inside the school.

Now that everyone was present, there were only about two dozen freshmen in the class. Zong Yan estimated there might be only a few hundred students in the school in total.

A truly elite education.

Miskatonic University’s campus was an example of neoclassical architecture, elegantly combining elements of ancient Greek and Roman styles.

The paths were paved with light brown tiles, and the grass in the distance was neatly trimmed and bordered by flower beds. The walls of the school buildings were built from dark red brick, solemn and dignified.

They walked through the Promenade of Honor, which was a gallery designed to honor distinguished alumni. It featured outstanding senior investigators from previous generations… and how they met their end.

Zong Yan, who could read everything with ease, stopped to look at the portraits.

The painting of the legendary investigator hanging in the first position belonged to Randolph Carter. It was recorded that his current whereabouts were unknown.

Next came Investigator Thornton, who spent the latter portion of his life in a mental hospital.

There was another memorial that recorded a person who witnessed some unspeakable existence, then went mad and died while wandering at sea.

Among the large number of tragic endings, one investigator was a relative purist. He was lucky enough to preserve his sanity. Unfortunately, the state of medical knowledge at the time wasn’t very good, and he was treated as if he were crazy. It was noted on the wall that he was rehabilitated here after many years.

Compared with the previous examples, suicide by shooting might be a happier way to go.

It seemed like investigators had a high-risk occupation. Zong Yan was properly respectful.

“The border region isn’t as convenient as the Dreamlands, after all. Let’s solve the language problem first.”

The investigator took them to the building in the center of campus, then turned back to admonish them: “Once you’re inside, keep absolutely quiet.”

When he finished speaking the investigator realized that many of the new students couldn’t understand him, so he gestured for silence.

“Mr. Flamel, your Excellency, the new class of freshmen is here.”

They were taken to a cramped room filled with chemical apparatus. There was a crucible rack on the workbench. A mysterious purple gas slowly emerged from the mouth of the crucible, smelling like baked sweet potatoes.

It was very quiet here. All he could hear was the bubbling sound coming from the crucible. The investigator rapped on the door panel, and the sound reverberated in the deep, dark room.

A white haired old man looked up from the crucible, took off his thick eyeglasses, and sized them up for a moment. “Oh, another year has passed. Freshmen, please go and stand over there.”

They were lined up on a raised platform.

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The platform was covered with obscure magic symbols. After a flash of light, everyone was surprised to find that what were previously different languages had now become mutually intelligible.

After this was done, the investigator respectfully saluted the elderly man and led them out again.

“That was Mr. Nicholas Flamel, the honorary chancellor of Miskatonic University. I’m sure you’ve all heard of him.”

Now that the language problem was solved it was much more convenient to communicate, and the investigator could explain everything clearly. “In MU, you’ll only need to follow the instructions of your advisor and compulsory course professors. As for the chancellor, I’m afraid that just now was the only time you’ll see him in your entire college career.”

Nicholas Flamel, the legendary alchemist who refined the philosopher’s stone, was indeed a thunderous name.

Up until the present, he’d lived for more than seven hundred years.

Zong Yan stared back at the door in shock.

“Welcome to Miskatonic University. Before the entrance ceremony begins, please sign the confidentiality agreement.”

When everyone was seated in the small auditorium, the lead investigator began to pass around the paperwork and explain various other things about MU.

“All MU classes are held on a walk-in basis. There are only three required courses—alchemy, biology, and magic patterns. Elective courses are only offered when the professors are available. In other words, they may issue a notice of class cancellation or suspension at any time.

“When there’s no class you can freely arrange your schedule. MU’s library has a rich collection of books, and there’s a recommended reading list specifically for freshmen. The magic pattern you received a moment ago is limited to oral communication. It doesn’t include reading or writing, so a large part of your elective courses will focus on ancient scripts.

“The requirements for graduation are quite simple. To receive your diploma you need to get your advisor’s consent, take the three required classes, get a good grade in three practical investigation courses, and survive successfully. But don’t get too excited. Even with such a low threshold, it sometimes takes people many years to graduate.”

The investigator smiled. “Fortunately, since we moved the school to the border of the Dreamlands, the graduation survival rate has improved by nearly thirty percent. If you’re interested in reading about the history of the school in the previous century, you’ll find that our former site in the United States was periodically invaded by unidentified organisms. The school maintenance department had a lot of experience repairing the buildings.

“Awakened all over the world are as close as family because we have only one goal, and that is to use our abilities to protect this beautiful blue planet from otherworldly creatures. It’s exactly for this reason that we advocate equality for all. Racial discrimination and political prejudice are absolutely not allowed on campus. If it occurs, the most serious cases will be dismissed from the program. Now that we share a common language, let’s hope we can live in peace.

“Finally, we’re located in a border region, which strictly speaking isn’t considered part of the Dreamlands. Except for weekends, the school gate is closed. We advocate exploration, but please don’t try to enter the Dreamlands. Every year some students ignore advice and end up stranded. Either they never return or they experience brain death. Even senior investigators can perish there. It isn’t a realm that belongs to humans.”

As he listened, Zong Yan flipped open the confidentiality agreement. The rules were very simple. In addition to not being able to reveal the existence and location of Miskatonic University, it also strictly limited the use of Awakened abilities and magic patterns.

The official Awakened organization of each country also required all newly Awakened people to sign a confidentiality agreement, and that agreement had a magic pattern on it, so this was just a formality.

Zong Yan quickly signed his name, pressed a fingerprint, and handed it in.

Sure enough, the main event was yet to come.

When all the new students had signed, the investigators took them to the auditorium.

“This is the usual place for social gatherings and important meetings. The cafeteria is on the other side.

“Because of the way our system works, we don’t have a concept of academic years. Even for freshmen, there can be thirty-year-old students who haven’t graduated.”

The investigator shrugged. “Every year when new students enter the school, we select an honorary chief to represent the students. It doesn’t mean much to freshmen. You can just watch the process. Wait until your insight ability improves with practice and magic pattern classes. Then you can compete for the position of chief. The chief enjoys a lot of privileges at MU. The prizes are also quite good too. For example, this year’s prize… Ooh! A dream crystallizer, nice!”

Zong Yan saw a glowing egg resting on a stuffed pillow in the center of the auditorium. He didn’t know what it was for, but it didn’t prevent his heart from leaping after hearing the investigator’s explanation.

Chief selection?!

That sounded a lot like having a tournament on your first day at school.

Zong Yan was still under a psychological shadow from having revealed himself as soon as he arrived. When he looked around, sure enough, the freshmen around him were staring at him with considerable awe. Only Wang KeMing, who’d arrived at school after him, stood in place with an air of calm.

Guess he didn’t have a problem with fighting!

However, he still needed to keep a low profile as much as possible and avoid attracting too much attention. If they really selected the chief through some sort of battle, Zong Yan decided to lose.

“Don’t worry, it’s not a fight. It’s an easy process. Just go to the table and select one of the cards. Whoever gets the Joker will be the next chief.”

The investigator pointed to a table placed at the center of the auditorium, which was covered with a layer of playing cards.

Okay, if it was just drawing the Joker, that wasn’t too bad.

Zong Yan heaved a sigh of relief. At the same time, he appreciated how magical this school was.

Their method for choosing the school representative was just a test of luck! Wasn’t it a bit too casual?

With a glance the investigator read the disbelief on their faces.

“Insight has always been regarded as one of an investigator’s most important abilities. Generally speaking, people with higher insight observe more things than ordinary people, and your compulsory magic pattern study in the future is also based on insight. Don’t think that drawing the Joker is child’s play. In fact, it’s incredibly difficult to accurately pick a single card from among thousands. In previous years, we had to draw several rounds to determine the chief.”

Meanwhile, MU students who’d just left class were filing into the auditorium one by one, carrying heavy notebooks.

A man stepped inside and nearly eclipsed all the light in the room.

This student wore a black robe. His long hair was a rare shade of gray, and his eyes were like flowing red gold. His face was profound and beautiful under the scattered light and shadow, full of an eerie and almost suffocating mystery.

He had an inexplicable aura about him, and people couldn’t help but feel something close to awe or fear. They didn’t stand too close to him, nor did they dare to look directly at his face, but reflexively lowered their eyes.

If anyone’s insight were high enough to reach a critical value, a threshold beyond what normal human beings could attain, they might perceive a shimmering veil of low light filling the shadow behind him, revealing the void of the unknown, or even a chaos of colors beyond the spectrum known to man.

Unfortunately, no one did.

No one even realized how strange and abnormal it was to “not look directly” at a person. They automatically followed this unspoken, unacknowledged rule, standing respectfully apart from him, so that everything seemed eminently reasonable and ordinary.

“Hello, chief.”

“Chief Tawil.”

The previous chief was here?

Zong Yan also wanted to have a look. He happened to be in line for a card at the time, so he went up and casually took one.

It was during this gap that the man in the robe finally lifted his gaze.

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The moment he raised his eyes, it seemed that a greater spirit had descended, and the previous hollowness of his body was replaced by something else unknown.

A dimensional void seemed to resound with an indescribable hymn.

Zong Yan didn’t feel that anything was wrong, yet he reflexively shivered and glanced down at the card in his hand.

A clown in a red and yellow hat grinned at him.

The Joker.

—

The author has something to say:

Zong Yan: How did this card get into my hand???

Insight ability with the chief system came from my Harry Potter colleagues in Jinjiang.

When I think back to being a chuunibyou, who hasn’t read a few fics about the competition for prefect in House Slytherin? lights cigarette.jpg

TL Notes:

ML is now online. (ﾉ◕ ₒ ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ♥ 

cold joke – 冷笑话 – a bad joke, a lame joke. I took some liberties with the actual joke. Hopefully not too much of a stretch

school chief, school representative – 学校首席 – Previously mentioned by Wang KeMing in Chapter 9. There’s only one, so it’s similar to the “head boy” or “head girl” position in Harry Potter. I may change the translation in the future if I think of something better, but it’s used in dialogue all the time, so it needs to be snappy. Note the teaser had “荣誉首席”, honorary chief/prefect/whatever. There it was translated as “honors scholar” so it wouldn’t sound super weird or derivative.

outskirts, narrow space, border, border region – from 狭间 – narrow room, narrow space

Glossary of world terms—new in this chapter:

Dreamlands, Dream Realm – 幻梦境

philosopher’s stone – 贤者之石 – xián zhě zhī shí

Transliterated names, titles, and places—new in this chapter:

Hoshino-kun – 星野君 – Xīng Yě jūn

Togashi-sensei – 富坚老师 – Fù Jiān lǎoshī – Manga artist Togashi Yoshihiro (冨樫 義博 / 富坚义博) best known for Hunter x Hunter, which is infamous for going on hiatus for long periods of time

Ms. Anastasia – 阿纳斯塔西娅女士 – ĀNàSīTǎXīYà nǚshì – Alternatively: Mrs, Miss, Madam, Lady

Mr. Flamel, your Excellency – 弗拉梅尔阁下 – FúLāMéiĚr géxià – Alternatively: Lord Flamel, Your Excellency, Your Lordship, The Honorable – The school chancellor doesn’t seem to have an actual title of nobility and he’s called “xiansheng” later.

Mr. Nicholas Flamel – 尼古拉斯·弗拉梅尔先生 – NíGǔLāSī·FúLāMéiĚr xiānshēng

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