Chapter 203: [Vol.2] Quest 173- The Saint & The Goddess

The first time I met her was late at night. She was rather ill-tempered, to say the least. She does bear a very striking resemblance to Cirrus, enough for one to think he was actually her child, but after that, she is nothing like Cirrus and more like…well, I don’t have someone to compare her to.

"U-um…"

"Staaaaaare~"

"Um, my name is-"

"Shirakusa Ai, fifteen years old, level 6, known as the Flashing Saint of the Susanoo Familia, 5’3, not counting ears, bust 85, waist 59, hips 87."

"H-how do you know my measurements!" She said, covering herself with an embarrassed flush.

"I have an eye for women. I can tell how they are from the way they talk and walk, how much effort they put into their hair, skin, nails, clothing, everything that could or would make a woman a woman. I know it."

"R-really!?"

Cirrus said she was the goddess of women; I can see why.

"Yup so~" She gets up and sits next to Ai. "I can see you’re a very kind, a bit ditzy girl with a prudish sense of style; black pants with boots; white and purple top that covers your cleavage; yet you have a rather aggressive appetite, don’t you?"

She has the grace and bluntness that can get anyone off their rhythm. She hits those spots so well it’s comparable to Artemis’s aim.

"!!!" Her face began to turn even redder than before.

"I was right! Don’t be embarrassed; you have to be that aggressive to beat Cirrus."

"C-can we stop talking about this subject!" she said, covering her ears.

"Fine, but do you wish to be of more use to Cirrus?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you are very skilled at many things, but…I’m sure since you are from the Far East, you know of the term, Yamato Nadeshiko, correct?"

"O-Of course! Everyone wishes to strive to be that for their loved one!"

"Then if you like, do you wish to learn to achieve that?"

"Eh?"

She was the goddess of women, of course. She would be everything a woman would wish to be and do and all the positive and negative things that come with it.

"I asked if you wished to be a Yamato Nadeshiko. I can teach you to reach such a title. You could be more used to Cirrus than just cooking, fighting, and stress relief. I can endow you with the cunning and wisdom to match his intelligence!"

"R-really!!"

"Well, close enough to it to help him with any paperwork and the like, along with some other choices."

"I…I’ll take that offer!"

I would come to greatly regret accepting that offer. I regret not listening to Cirrus.

 

I took a shower and was given clothes to wear. When I left to go meet her, she was wearing the same clothes but with a beautiful straw hat for the morning sun.

"Make sure you get rid of the weeds and check for any insects."

"Right!"

She showed me how to garden.

"Clean this room up for me. You can dispose of the bottles however you wish…no actually I wish to see your drawing speed."

"My drawing speed? Um sure?"

My sword-drawing skills are probably what I’m most proud of, more than my cooking, clothing, and my hair. So of course I would show off.

"Amazing! Try this one!"

Lady Hera would continue to test how good I was by making more and more complicated ways for me to cut the bottles in one slice until she was satisfied, which lasted for about 3 hours, and then we moved on to something else.

"Do you know how to sew?"

"Um…no? Well a bit, not a lot."

"Well, you are learning today. You're going to be sewing so well that you'll never need a seamstress!"

She was talented in many things, as I would learn through the days I spent with her while Cirrus was dealing with Alfia’s request,

"Too much salt."

"It’s one two three, one two three!"

"What is the conjugate of the complex number z = 3 + 2i? -3 + 2i, -3 – 2i, 3 – 2i, or 3 + 2i?"

"What the hell is imaginary!? Why are letters in math!!"

and extremely strict.

"Keep your head up! posture straight! If one book falls, it’s ten lashes to the thighs Cirrus loves so much!"

"How do you know that!!"

Her standards were easy to satisfy, but the more she taught me, the harder they got and the more it took to satisfy her.

"Again! Now do it within 5 minutes on the dot!"

"It took you 9 minutes and 19 seconds to finish cleaning up! I want it done in 5!"

I could see why Alfia didn’t like her goddess very much, but-

"Hahaha!!! You did it!"

"Perfection!"

"Keep it up!"

When she compliments you, it’s truly like all your work has been validated. A feeling close to leveling up is what I can compare it to, but it is far in between the yelling and lashing from failures.

"Run it again! One, two, and step!"

"What is this garbage!"

Truthfully, I found my feminine skills have greatly improved, but…my inadequacies have also improved from these flaws that I can’t seem to get over. They gnaw at me, wanting me to be better, to do better.

"One more sit up! Men like girls who are thin and light!"

"Don’t cut your hair! A woman’s beauty is in her hair!"

I felt so inadequate all the time, I felt miserable.

"That’s enough for today. Go rest." She left, walking out to the garden with another bottle of wine in hand.

I would see her out there drinking alone…for one who sees herself as the pinnacle of what a woman could be, she looks so very alone, almost unnaturally alone.

"Um…Lady Hera?" She wanted to see if she was okay. "Are you fine?"

"I am. No need to concern yourself with me."

"I’m sorry you…you just look so lonely."

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"…Go to bed. I don’t want to talk."

"…Okay."

I looked back at her to see her face as stoic and resolute as always, but her fierce ruby eyes looked weak at that brief moment. Maybe she drank a few too many bottles and her shell broke, showing a very brief pain. I won’t ever really know what I saw and thought that night. I know from my interactions with Hera that she will never discuss it.

I remember something she said that stuck out to me now: "To speak of your pain is a weakness, and weakness is something women mustn’t have. They must always be strong and prideful so no one can bring them down or hurt them.". A view possibly stemming from experience.

I can see what she wanted me to be, not just a Yamato Nadeshiko. No, she wanted me to be something more; something that can handle whatever comes my way and that no one wants to throw away. But it’s impossible to know what she is thinking.

…It sucks…it’s horrible having to bottle up so many different emotions and not do what I want. I’m not that…I’m not a Yamato Nadeshiko either…I’m just not what I wanted nor what she wanted.

 

Five days after Cirrus had left, he finally returned.

"I’m back!!"

His voice was like an ocean of relief to me.

"Cirrus!!" 

I said, running up to him and embracing him as warmly and tightly as I could.

"You seem to have changed?" His eyes dart around my body, checking for anything. "Did you start to grow out your hair?"

"I have been instructing her on how to be the perfect woman!" Hera said, drinking from her seat.

"Taught her?"

I can see the look in his eyes. Hera was eying everything. His gaze was quick and sharp like hers, another similarity.

"I see!" he said with a forced smile. "Well, thank you for your help, but now that I settled Alfia’s request, I think we’ll get going now."

I could tell he was angry by the slight tightening of his fingers and the twitch of the corner of his eyes.

"Sure thing! It was nice to meet my future granddaughter-in-law! You held up well these past few days! Far more than those of my Familia."

She helped pack some things and we were gone. She didn’t try and make our stay longer; she never even deviated from her casual expression not once.

"Bye-bye!" She gently waved them off.

He didn’t ask me anything about my time there until out of the blue, in the dead of night, when Nox was asleep.

"You know, I think you're perfect, right?"

"Eh?"

I couldn’t sleep, I’d been restless since leaving Hera’s home, and her words linger in my ears. Maybe that’s why he brought it up. He knew Hera got to me.

"I know Hera…well taught you well, but you shouldn’t take everything from her as gospel. There is a reason why Zeus keeps having flings."

That’s right when I asked Lady Astraea about Hera, she said that her beloved was never faithful to her. At first, when I saw her, I couldn’t see it. Hera was a golden beauty with skills that could easily win over anyone, but…she was prideful to a fault, assured in her own words and opinions. It was unbearable to be with her, to say the least.

But…that day, I asked if she was okay when she was drinking alone. That moment sticks out in my time with her so much like a 20 story tower in a small village out in the boonies. Maybe there was far more to her than I had thought.

"So be yourself, Ai. I love you for all your flaws and imperfections."

"B-but don’t you want a perfect lover?"

"Perfection is subjective and impossible for us all to achieve. I mean, do you think I’m perfect?"

"Mmm…" She thought on it and Cirrus did have some stuff that rubbed her the wrong way. For one, he was too much of a workaholic, working day and night on stuff and patrols. He would always keep things to himself, preferring to let himself be the only one to carry them. Ai gathered that it all stemmed from his baggage from the Kaios Desert. "I guess not."

"But you still love me nonetheless, right?"

"…Yeah. I see your point."

Why did I second guess his feelings? He still wears the charms I made him five years ago. But…it’s still their…that thought.

"You don’t look certain?"

"I’m sorry…but I still find it a bit hard, you know…She really got to me. I should have listened to you."

"Hmm…well we all make mistakes, Ai. I mean, if you learn from that, then it was a mistake worth making. I mean, I’m sure you picked up some useful stuff from her right?"

"Hm. I learned some very useful stuff…a surprising amount. But…I still feel like shit."

No matter how good her teachings were, I still feel that I’m not good enough. I could do better, be better. It gnawed and gnawed at me as this self expectation slowly consumes as if I was in a pit of tar.

"Hmm…How about I tell you something only I know and no one else in this world knows? I don’t know if it’ll make you feel any better, but it’s something special to me."

"What is it?"

"My name."

"Your name? It's Cirrus Zephyr, isn’t it?"

"That is what I was given by Fels and Ouranos, but I do have a birth name."

"!?"

He had a birth name!? Then it’s the name his mother gave him!

"R-really!?"

"Yup." Cirrus takes out several Sound Eaters and places them around him and her and whispers. "My birth name is Alcides."

"Al…cides?"

"Yes, that was the name my mother gave me when she left me. It means' strength…guess she wanted me to grow up healthy…. I have never told a soul about it; not even Nox knows. So you are the only one to know."

"Alcides…Alcides…Alcides…" She says it to get a feel for the name. "Hm… I think I like Cirrus better."

He made a warm smile, a smile only I have seen and, even if it is selfish of me, I wanted to keep it to myself.

"Thanks…So can you fall asleep better now?"

No. I couldn’t.

"A-Ai what are you-?"

I took advantage of the Sound Eaters and kissed him. I could see his face blush a bit and his eyes widen from the surprise. 

"Cirrus, can we stay like this?" Ai hugs him tightly.

We stared into each other’s eyes as we lay next to one another in each other’s embrace.

"Yeah…this is fine." He brings her in close.

I put my ear to his chest and I could hear his steady heartbeat.

Thump! Thump!

Thump! Thump!

It was like a lullaby, lulling me into a calm sleep.

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