Chapter 18: 2.7

A few dozen minutes later.

“…That was interesting.”

“…Yeah, it really was.”

After we left the theatre, we had an absentminded conversation with almost no eye contact with each other. Perhaps due to our nervousness, we were both walking faster than usual; the distance between us widened.

What should I do? If we continue on like this, a new date genre—walking race date—would be created.

“Um, let’s enter a cafe?” I suggested to Yuzu as I pointed to a cafe I had just spotted.

Rather than getting tired by speed walking for nothing, I decided to go to a space where we both could relax physically and mentally.

“R-right.”

Yuzu was also of the same mind as me, she mechanically nodded while her eyes were still not in my direction.

Afterwards, we entered the cafe.

“Welcome. Two people?” A cheerful female waitress greeted us.

“Yes, please.”

In response to Yuzu’s answer, the waitress made an apologetic face.

“At this time, the only seats available for two people are a couple-seat, is that okay?’

Couple-seat…? What’s that?

“Th-that’s fine… Yes.”

I had a long history of being single, so these words were unfamiliar to me, but Yuzu seemed to understand and was nodding her head while turning a little red.

“Yes, I understand. Then, please come this way.”

Following the waiter’s directions, we proceeded through the restaurant.

Eventually, we arrived at a cosy table with a sofa for two and a low table, unlike the usual table seating.

“Uh…” I inadvertently flinched at the sight.

This is the couple-seat…?

Indeed, being able to sit closely next to each other was probably the best space for lovers. Yuzu and I had been dating for quite a while, so more or less, I was already used to some degree of contact.

However, again, however!

To be this close right after watching that bed scene, that was too much to ask!

“Le-let’s sit?” Yuzu prompted despite also feeling the same awkwardness.

In that case, I also could not wimp out here, “Ow-okay.”

The two of us took our seats in the couple-seat. At a distance where our shoulders touched one another and with the armrest gone, I could feel her even closer to me compared to when we were inside the movie theatre. Lately, this level of closeness had been common when we were in the literature clubroom, but the nervousness I experienced here was entirely on a different level.

“Err, what should we order?”

“O-oh, right.”

Perhaps she couldn’t stand the pause anymore, Yuzu picked up the touch screen tablet on the tabletop. In the meantime, I repeatedly told my mind and heart to calm down.

“Okay… I think I’ll have a blueberry tart and tea set. What about you, Yamato-kun?”

“Cafe latte, please.”

“Roger that. Then, I’ll order,” Yuzu nodded and ordered from the menu after I reflexively replied.

Then, we were once again left without anything to do. 

It was Yuzu who broke the silence again, “Um, what should I say… I’m sorry about earlier? Somehow it felt like you were trying to hold my hand and I rejected you.”

Presumably, she was talking about what happened in the theatre. She thought I received a shock from her action, so she did a follow-up on that.

“Uh, no-no. I only accidentally touched you when I wanted to take the drink. On the contrary, I’m sorry for giving you the wrong idea.”

When I hurriedly made an excuse, for some reason Yuzu’s lips twitched a little in dissatisfaction.

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“Hmph… It’s true that I thought it was a little too proactive for Yamato-kun, but when you say it like that, it’s kind of unsettling. I thought you were trying to use the mood to make me fall for you.”

“I haven’t reached those heights yet.”

I was about to become quite a playboy in Yuzu’s mind, so I had to make a firm correction.

“It does seem so. However, it’s not good to remain this way. You need to be serious in order to properly catch me. Since we’re here, I’ll give you a lecture today on how to catch girls.”

“Is that proper for the caught party to give a lecture? What’s this charade?”

Wait, in the first place, I have no such intention.

In fact, it seemed to me that I was being directed in a roundabout way to make a Christmas confession, which was not very good for my mental health.

“Firstly, Yamato-kun needs to learn the very basics—the method to make yourself liked by others.”

I was just thinking of clarifying the Christmas matter right on the spot, but Yuzu-sensei was faster than me to have started the lecture.

“Listen, Yamato-kun. The trick to getting people to like you is to push yourself as high as you can and get closer to your ideal self. To grow to greater heights is to declare war on yourself—I’m going to go beyond what I am now.”

How typical of Yuzu’s skill of winning over people’s hearts and minds. It was so unique to Yuzu that I could not imitate it.

“You say all these cool things for nothing, but the fact that the result is such a recognition-hungry monster takes all the persuasive power out of it.”

I rolled my eyes, but Yuzu was smug about it.

“I can’t help it. There’s no reason why I myself wouldn’t like someone who has so many elements that make people like her. I’m the one who sees my strengths and efforts the most, you know? That’s right, of course, I’d like me!”

“You’re really refreshing, you know that?” 

For her to have reached this point, no one would feel otherwise.

“Therefore, Yamato-kun, to make me fall for you, you gotta grow up the best you can.”

“Sorry to say, but I’m the kind of man who is charming when unadorned in life-size.”

I shrugged my shoulders at Yuzu’s instructions.

“There is more than one way of putting it. At least you could try a bit harder for the girl you love.” After complaining with a pout of her lips, Yuzu let out an exhale, “But surely it’s better for Yamato-kun to be laid-back like that.”

""

“Why did you say that all of the sudden? A new type of sarcasm?”

I thought she would bitch about it, but Yuzu smiled calmly, without any hint of underlying emotion.

“No. You see, whenever I find something I don’t like or something that’s wrong with me, I do my best to overcome it. But Yamato, you don’t do that, do you?”

“Well, yeah.”

I’d already stopped that painful attempt to stand tall among other people when I was in middle school. Yuzu squinted at me as if looking at a dazzling object as I nodded in agreement.

“Sometimes, I’m jealous of you in that aspect. You seem like you’re enjoying your life.”

“…As I thought, this sounds like a new type of sarcasm.”

As I tried to probe her true intentions, Yuzu slowly shook her head.

“No, it’s not. How should I say it? It’s like accepting the parts you can’t do anything about by yourself with serenity. It’s almost a kind of enlightenment. For me, I always try to suppress the uncontrollable parts of me, and that sometimes makes me suffer.”

“Well, that might be true.”

""

This girl not only demanded control over herself but also over the interpersonal relationships around her. And she was deft enough to succeed in doing so to a certain extent. Even when she was aware that this would cause her suffering, she couldn’t help but stick her hand into things.

“But you enjoy it too, don’t you?” I asked her back.

Like watering a flower that was about to wither and making it bloom beautifully; she made herself happy by watching her surroundings revolve peacefully around her. That was the greatest virtue Yuzu could have, and the decisive difference between her and me in the past.

“…Yeah, I guess so. That’s why I really only envy you sometimes.”

Perhaps embarrassed that I guessed right about what she felt in her heart, she smiled somewhat fretfully.

chocolala: Yuzu’s narcissistic remarks never fail to entertain me…

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