Chapter 5: 1.4

In contrast to me, Kotani was the extrovert among extroverts. She could continue the conversation despite my lacking self. 

“Well, we’re planning to go on a date,” I answered.

“Ohhh… By any chance, were you thinking of a date plan by yourself here?”

“Yeah, something like that. If I come up with a lame plan, there’ll be a game ban, so I’m desperate now.”

Kotani sneered at my sudden grumble, “Is that so? I’m so jealous.”

“…In that course of conversation, was there anything to be jealous of?” 

I was baffled, and then Kotani nodded with a sigh.

“Of course there is. You can go on a date with someone you like with certainty.”

There, I gleaned what she was searching for on the phone.

“Kotani, aren’t you inviting Sota out?”

As soon as I asked her that, Kotani blushed.

“…I will. Perhaps, maybe, probably.”

“The number of your words is proportional to your anxiousness.” 

I absent-mindedly retorted and she snapped her face away to another direction as she began fiddling with her hair.

“Shut up. You’re so lucky. I heard you got confessed to by the other party.”

“That’s right, I was so shocked at the time. It somewhat felt like suddenly encountering a traffic accident, I guess?” I recollected with nostalgia.

Kotani made a doubtful face. “Your metaphor has not the slightest bit of love in it… Oh yes, during that time, it was a farce, was it?”

“Well.”

We are still a fake couple even now.

“I see… So, now you’re really dating, so one of you must’ve confessed, right? What was the situation like?”

“Why do you wanna know so much?”

It was rare for Kotani to be interested in me this much.

“Just tell me, it’s not like you’re gonna lose anything.”

Kotani still pressed on despite the awkwardness. It seemed like she really wanted data on confessing that much.

“Okay… The second time was also from Yuzu. I’d never thought that in such a short span of time, I’d encounter a traffic accident twice.”

“Again, there’s no hint of love.”

My nostalgic recounting was once again greeted by Kotani’s doubtful face.

“You can’t say that. I love Yuzu in my own way.”

It would be troublesome to be doubted, so I simply displayed my lovey-dovey feeling for Yuzu. That somehow made Kotani relieved and she slightly chuckled. 

“That’s right. And it also looks like you cherish Yuzu, right?” She said somewhat insinuatingly as she pointed to her own neck.

If there was any meaning in that… Oh, that could only mean the necklace.

“…You heard from Yuzu?”

“Well, of course, I’d be curious if she keeps wearing the same thing. So, for once, I asked her about it and she lovingly bragged quite a lot. Glad to hear things went well for you two.”

“…Well, thanks.”

Yuzu, did she brag about my present? Imagining that situation made me feel embarrassed. No, it didn’t make me feel bad somehow.

“You’re a blessed guy to have a girlfriend who would exude that lovey-dovey aura when talking about you. So jealous.”

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After teasing me for a bit, Kotani seemed to remember her own love situation and let out a deep sigh of frustration.

Her nerves were really stretched thin…

Anyway, it was my and Yuzu’s mission as a fake couple to arrange for them to be together. So, I couldn’t simply leave her be.

“If you’re that worried, why don’t I help you with your date plan?”

When I offered, Kotani’s movements abruptly halted. Then she looked at me with a more serious expression.

“…It’s okay. Previously, you also helped me out so much to set up the date. If I repeat that, I won’t be making any progress.”

“…I see.”

If Kotani said it like that, I had no reason to impose myself.

“Well, I appreciate your feelings. I confessed once, got rejected, and I learned something from that.”

“…And that is?”

Intrigued by the way she spoke, I asked her about it, and she showed neither regret nor embarrassment but began to speak frankly.

“When I’m about to confess, all I can see is my own inadequacies. Like, maybe I’m not the right person for him because I have a harsh personality, or that we haven’t talked long enough with just the two of us, or that we haven’t looked at each other properly lately.”

Her words were laden with conviction, and I couldn’t help but listen.

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“The parts of me that I normally don’t bother with or I unconsciously look away from are exactly the ones that come into play at that moment. So when I make the confession, the important thing is not only how much I like the other person, but also how much I like myself.”

“…That makes sense,” I interjected.

Mental preparation prior to confession and self-confidence; she painfully learned from her bitter failure that she was lacking in these areas.

She then added, “Yes. So instead of relying on someone else to set the stage for me like before, I’ll first make sure I can properly ask someone out on a date by myself. Only then can I think about confessing my feelings.”

If she was this determined, I shouldn’t do anything unnecessary.

“All right. I’ll just support you from the sidelines.”

“Please do so. Besides, you must be fully occupied with your own date, so it’ll be bad for me to ask for your help.”

Kotani’s words laced with teasing made me helplessly shrink back.

“Seriously, there’s nothing that hits home when I search for plans on the internet. Isn’t there anything that is affordable and can make Yuzu happy?”

It was just the right opportunity, so I should ask Kotani, who was close to Yuzu, for some tips.

“Hmm… How about going to see some winter light displays? It’s only strolling in town so you pay nothing, and it’s beautiful.”

The answer she gave after mulling it over for quite a bit was advice that unexpectedly hit the nail on the head.

“Oh, that’s just what I’m looking for! I’ll check immediately if there’s any suitable winter light events nearby.” 

With my mind awhirl, I tried to search the internet on my phone.

“If you’re looking for events nearby, won’t it be better to find information in local publications rather than on the internet? They should have more detailed information and the latest updates.”

“I see, what a perfect piece of advice. Thanks, Kotani!”

Feeling so much enlightened, I thanked her and she wore a somewhat serene expression.

“Well, this is in return for your help before.”

“…Oh. In that case, I’ll graciously accept it.” 

I returned a smile to Kotani.

chocolala: Kotani be spitting out some deep life insight there… I can’t comment how much I love this novel, it’s just superb…

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