Chapter 18: 18. Homesick

"Do you ever get homesick Amanda?" Sarah asked in between mouthfuls of dinner.

The question wasn't entirely out of the blue, I'd just been telling everyone a little more of what it was like on my home-world. More specifically about how I learned to cook and why the gear in the Demeter's mess was familiar to me.

Still, it caught me a little off-guard and I had to think a few moments before I finally shook my head. "Not really? When I signed on with the Navy I said goodbye to my family, and I never expected to see them again. I suppose maybe in some distant future, after I transitioned, became a doctor, then got a good job in some core hospital... Maybe after all that I'd arrange a vacation and go visit. Maybe."

After a frown and shrug I added, "Probably not though. I don't think they'd have been accepting of me if they knew who I really was."

It was the end of another long day of training, and the four of us were having dinner and quiet conversation. Or three of us were eating, four of us were having quiet conversation, but Piper and Jenny had stayed out of the last few exchanges. They were just listening in, learning more about Sarah and myself.

We spent a couple days in the cockpit while Piper went over a bunch of routine stuff with me and Sarah. Mostly about how to deal with port authorities, comm protocols, that kind of thing. Sarah questioned why she was involved, but the answer made a lot of sense. Piper wanted all of us to know how to handle all the routine ship functions, so any one of us could manage on our own if necessary.

That included Jenny. Even though she didn't have a physical body, she was able to operate almost all the equipment. She could use the comm, talk to other ships or port, nobody needed to know she was an AI rather than a human member of the crew.

Today we had a few hours in the engineering areas and both Piper and Sarah educated me on some engineering basics, then we were down in the holds talking about the main airlock doors, and up in the starboard shuttle talking about that and the secondary airlocks.

There was also a brief discussion about weapons, which I wasn't that keen on. Both Sarah and I had some small arms training before, the Navy wanted everyone to know how to fight if necessary. I hadn't handled a gun in five years but I knew how they worked. Sarah was as out-of-date as me in terms of practice, but in the end Piper gave each of us one of the pistols we'd recovered from the Hammersmith, along with a box of fifty HDLI bullets. For now that stuff was in our cabin, in our wardrobe with the rest of our things.

After a few moments Sarah asked me, "So your family never knew you were really a girl? Did you keep in touch with them after you enlisted?"

"We kept in touch," I shrugged again. "I got messages from them a few times a year, I messaged them back. And I would have told them eventually, but not till after I transitioned. I figured I'd send them a message informing them of my new name, maybe include a picture of the new me?"

Before she could come up with another question I asked her, "What about you? Do you ever get homesick? And do you have family back in the Imperium?"

The cute blonde grimaced as she shook her head. "Nope. Career Navy man, remember? Home's whatever ship I'm assigned to. As for family... I do have some people back in the Imperium, but no-one close. Nobody who's going to miss me, anyways."

She had a gulp of her drink then elaborated, "I was married briefly, back in my early twenties. She ended it when she figured out my first love was ships and engines, but by that point we already had a daughter. My girl and I still exchange messages now and then, but I haven't actually seen her in at least fifteen years."

Sarah had another gulp of her beverage then sighed, "She had a little girl of her own a while back. I've seen pictures, but never actually met my granddaughter."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly.

The engineer shrugged quietly as if to suggest it wasn't a big deal. It seemed sad to me though.

Then Piper finally spoke up, "Once we're at port, if either of you feel like contacting your families there'll be places where you can send long-range FTL messages back into the Imperium. The comm gear on the Demeter might be strong enough to reach Imperium space but I'd rather you didn't do that from the ship."

For the next few moments I was left wondering what I'd even tell my family, and how they'd react if I sent them an image of the new me.

"I appreciate the suggestion boss," Sarah spoke up while I was lost in thought. "Probably not a good idea though."

I frowned, "Why not?"

She replied, "Sooner or later the Navy's going to figure out the Hammersmith is lost. If a distress call went out, they might already have another ship en route. If not, it'll be whenever they figure out the ship's overdue to check in. Either way, they're going to find out eventually that the ship's lost with all hands. If you took the insurance option when you enlisted, your next of kin will get the payout. Even if you didn't, they'll get whatever savings you had. Unless the Imperium finds out you're not dead. Then they'll declare you AWOL, keep whatever would have gone to your family, and issue a warrant for your arrest."

"Even if they have no way to verify that I'm the same person as before?" I asked.

Sarah responded, "If you go contacting your family and send them your picture, tell them you're still alive, then sure."

Piper shrugged "If you have no intention of ever returning to Imperium space then it's probably not a big risk. Apart from your family not getting the money."

I sighed as I thought that over, but it wasn't a tough decision. "I'll let them think I'm gone. Like I said before, I don't know how accepting they'd be anyways? And this way they'll get some extra credits."

"Same," the blonde agreed. "My granddaughter and her mom will come out ok, between my savings and my insurance."

She gestured to herself and added with a wry grin, "Anyways I have no idea how I'd explain this to them."

I nodded slowly, she had a good point about that.

"What about you boss?" Sarah asked our captain. "Got any family out there?"

She let out a long sigh as she slowly shook her head, "Not anymore. And before you ask, I'm not homesick either. The Demeter's been my home for the last four decades."

Her 'not anymore' brought the mood down a bit, and while I didn't want to bring it down further I also didn't want to leave our newest crew member out of the conversation.

I glanced upwards, not really knowing where to look to address her as I asked "How about you Jenny?"

"I'm afraid not Amanda," she replied. "As I mentioned earlier, my former ship was my first deployment. I was brought online after I was installed aboard her. That tenure was only three years long, and the only people I knew were her crew and the ship's AI. I've been aboard the Demeter nearly as long as our captain it seems, but most of that time has been spent offline."

That led to an awkward silence, which Piper broke with an apology. "I'm sorry Jenny. I thought you were just another machine, a fancy computer. I didn't realize there was more to you than that."

The AI didn't seem upset, she replied calmly "Apology accepted captain. I'm grateful for the acknowledgement now, and the opportunity to work more closely with all three of you."

You are reading story Daughters of Demeter at novel35.com

"So at the risk of bringing the mood down again there's something else at least three of us have in common," Sarah said. "I've survived two shipwrecks, the ISS Willesden and the ISS Hammersmith. Amanda survived the Hammersmith, and Jenny survived the loss of her first ship. How about you boss, ever lost a ship?"

She added quickly, "Sorry if that's insensitive. And sorry if it's too personal."

Piper had a deep sip of her drink as she seemed to be deciding whether or not to answer.

After a long pause she finally nodded, "I have. I survived the wreck of the ISS Cumberland."

The way she said it made it sound like she expected us all to know what she was talking about, but I'd never heard of it before.

Sarah seemed to though. Her eyes widened slightly and she sounded impressed, "You were on the Cumberland?"

"Two of us got out," Piper responded quietly. "It was just dumb luck, we were actually in a lifepod when the ship blew up. The pod never launched, it was just blown clear as the ship came apart."

After another second or two our engineer frowned and shook her head, "Nobody survived the Cumberland. It was big news at the time, they had rescue ships scouring the whole sector looking for survivors."

"There were two survivors," Piper replied calmly. "And those so-called rescue ships weren't there to save us. They were there to eliminate any witnesses."

"Sorry," I spoke up. "I get the feeling this is a big deal, but what was the ISS Cumberland? I've never heard of it."

Sarah answered, "It was about forty years ago. The Cumberland was a big cruiser, a flagship. Her weapons were deactivated though, she was on a diplomatic mission. She even had two Senators on board. They were there to try and negotiate with some local world leaders, to try and prevent hostilities on the border. Instead the rebels launched an unprovoked surprise attack. That attack on the Cumberland is what sparked the last border war. The one I was involved in when the Willesden was destroyed."

Our captain shook her head, "There was no attack. The Cumberland was blown apart with demolition charges. Two Senators, a couple hundred sailors, and sixty-two marines were sacrificed to give the Imperium an excuse to crush a dozen upstart worlds."

That left all of us silent for a few moments as her words sank in.

Sarah looked shocked, like she had a hard time believing what sounded like an outrageous conspiracy theory. I didn't think it was that farfetched though, not after the stories I'd heard growing up.

Jenny was the one to break the silence this time.

"How did you get away?" the AI asked. "If they were looking to eliminate witnesses, how did you escape?"

Piper shrugged slightly, "Same way Amanda and Sarah were saved. A little interstellar tug happened along and recovered our lifepod. The captain was smart enough to know the whole sector was about to turn into a war zone, so rather than hang around to pick over the Cumberland for salvage he got us all the hell out of there."

I stared at her as I asked, "And you've been on the Demeter ever since?"

She nodded, "Like I said, this ship's been my home for about four decades."

Sarah asked, "So you were assigned to the Cumberland, does that mean you were a Navy girl?"

"Nope," the captain replied with a slight smile. "I was a marine. Special Ops in fact. Same as my friend, we were in the same unit."

That surprised me for some reason. Maybe because the marines I'd seen on the Hammersmith were all unruly types, none of them seemed very friendly or introspective like Piper seemed to be. Though I hadn't known any 'special ops' people.

Our engineer looked thoughtful for a second, then asked "Sorry if this is rude but now I'm curious how old you really are. I'm guessing somewhere in your sixties? If you were a special-forces marine forty years ago, you had to be at least in your twenties when you joined the Demeter, right?"

The enigmatic redhead continued to smile but she shook her head, "I'm old enough that I get to refer to you two as kids. That's all I'm going to say for now."

I had a question of my own, "What were you doing in the lifepod? From what you said, you were in there before the explosion happened, so you were already there before there was an emergency?"

Piper's smile shifted to more of a smirk and she got a slightly mischievous look in her eyes. She shrugged slightly, "A lifepod's usually one of the most private places on a ship, at least when there isn't an emergency going on. We were in there having sex, it was about the only place we could find that we were positive nobody would walk in on us."

I felt my cheeks colouring slightly as I nodded slowly. Fraternizing with fellow crew members was against the rules in the Navy, the marines probably had similar rules. So it made sense she and her friend would want to find someplace private like that.

"What happened to your friend?" Sarah asked. "Did they stay on the Demeter with you? And what became of the guy who rescued you, the Demeter's captain at the time?"

The captain's smile vanished and she slowly shook her head, "A lot can happen in forty years, let's just leave it at that."

Sarah nodded slightly and apologized, "Of course. Sorry boss."

After that there was another long silence, as nobody seemed to know what to say. Eventually I decided to speak up, and hopefully bring the mood back up again.

"So I guess the Demeter is home to all four of us now?" I asked as I glanced around the table. "Piper's been here the longest, then Jenny. Sarah said home is whatever ship she's on. And I've never really felt like anywhere was home since I joined the Navy, but... Well, I'm starting to feel more comfortable here with all of you than I ever have anywhere else."

Sarah raised her nearly-empty glass and stated "I'll drink to that."

I smiled and raised mine too, and after a second or two Piper did as well.

Jenny added, "Raising a virtual glass with the three of you."