Chapter 127: Milai And Tears

"Hi. Long time no see." I faked a smile.

So you came searching for me…

"Yeah, it's been a while." She was hiding it, but the sadness in her voice wasn't fully concealed. It couldn't have been. "What are you doing here? Have you found what you were looking for?"

That was a very good question indeed. I never told her about me not being from this world. And I didn't intend to either. Maybe she still thought I was searching around to find out who I was?

"I'm with some people now. We're travelling to Alfheim. Maybe some of my questions would get answered there." I tried to be honest, but even that hurt.

"I see. I'm glad you found someone to rely on. Where are you staying?"

I told her about the house. She smiled. She was only a step away from me.

She's lost weight?

She'd been thinner than I'd last met her.

"How're you holding up?" I asked. Maybe it wasn't the best question, maybe I wasn't the best person to ask the question, and maybe I was just hurting her more. But I had to know.

"It's a little lonely, but I'm okay. I still have my aunt…" She looked away at the last moment and her voice trailed off. Her aunt was probably the last of her family.

"I'm really sorry. I'm sorry for everything… it's …it was all…. Sorry…" I couldn't.

"Don't be. In fact I'm glad you were here. At least I had some hope…" she clenched her hand on her chest. "It was really good to see you. I have to go now…"

"Yeah." That was all I say. I mustered up my strength to smile. I could have said something like, "They died because of me." or, "I'm the reason all of this happened." That would have eased my pain and some of the burdens. But it would have also screwed the person in front of me. She was barely holding in her tears. If I'd said something like that, then she would have just broken down. And besides, I couldn't bring myself to say something like that either. Call me selfish, but I just couldn't. I didn't want her to hate me.

Milai had left and I stood by the graves for who knows how long.

When I came back to the house, everyone was asleep. But the old man was sitting on the table, looking all pretty. He was sipping some liquid. Probably booze.

"Well, somebody looks wasted."

The old man chuckled. "Yeah, well, somebody made me remember all sorts of shit today."

He was referring to me, so I couldn't just stay silent either. "So you got your butt handed to you by a goblin?" I made it sound as sarcastic as I could. But I was just rubbing it into him, so he would get mad me instead of thinking too much about the past. I at least owed him that much.

"I did kill him a year later, but yeah." He burst out laughing. I did not expect that. "But yeah, I was young back then." He laughed some more. "But boy, if ya ever come across a goblin that is as tall as you and looks skinny like the little ones, I'd suggest killing it on spot, even if ya have to sacrifice an arm or two." He was serious, if only for a second.

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I had no idea how much age this geezer had under his belt. I still didn't like his laugh though. But I nodded. This particular goblin, the one that could only be found in the deepest nests of the goblins, I didn't want to come near it but if I ever did, I'd be sure to kill it. For the old man's sake.

"You two." Brenda came out, yawning. "I'm tryin to get some shut eye! So shut yer traps!" She almost sounded like the late captain.

The old man and I exchanged glances and called it quits for now with a little laugh.

The next morning came swiftly and we spent half of the day here. I took another walk in the morning. I walked around and talked with the villagers: I still felt pained, but I tried my best in spite of it.

Most of the infected had died but some of them survived. After I came back from the forest, only few got infected. And after some time a priest came from the capital and apparently the priest made sure to spread my good name. I really didn't know what to feel about that.

So the villagers had nothing but praise for me. Those praises only made me feel more guilt. But one thing was for certain, I had to thank Beatrine, whether I liked it or not. She made this possible without even batting an eye about it. If she hadn't sent the priest then maybe more have died.

I came back from the walk and we prepared for our departure.

"So that thorny forest you were talking about…" I began.

"Yup that's the one. Acchoo!" The old man sneezed.

"But I didn't see any thorns there…." Although I hated that forest from the bottom of my heart I never saw anything like a thorn. If it was there, I most definitely would have known.

"That's because you never went inside the actual forest. The one you went is called sacred. That's a different forest. And the one we're going to venture into is a lot further in. But there's vast grassland between the two. So basically-"

"Yeah, yeah I get it. Let's move on." So basically, I didn't want to think about it, no sir.

The sun was up high but we still hadn't been on the road. It was because of someone's stupid cold. Namely, the old man's. Damn geezer finally caught a cold and it was no joke. My worries were right on the mark. What's worse he also refused to go to the church. And according to him potions only worked on injuries but not illnesses. For the first time, this whole thing made my head ache.

His nose was running and he might even have a slight fever. This world didn't have any medicine for fever and so he was just chewing on some herbs instead: in his own words 'herbs save life'. I didn't know how effective that was, but he seemed much better than morning. And so we left late.

The villagers waved us out. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. After all, I was the sole reason for their suffering, and yet…

The old man rubbed his nose. "Are you sure this was alright?"

"Yeah."

I hadn't told Milai I'd be leaving today. It was better that I didn't talk to her. In fact, she might have not wanted to talk to me either.

But then there was a scream. There was a scream from a voice I really didn't expect to hear again. "Farewell Daarc! I really hope you find what you're looking for!"

I looked back and it was Milai. She was waving by the gates. Honestly, I couldn't really believe it. Just how ironic must my fate be? I waved back with tears in my eyes.. I couldn't suppress them: not anymore.

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