Chapter 137: New Determination

After an eternity of nightmares, I woke up. Insects buzzed. I was in a room. It wasn't the same place I slept at. Everything was dark, and it was midnight. Moreover, I was on top of a bed.

There wasn't anybody here in this room and probably there wasn't anyone near the house either. I looked out the window and this was the only house in about a few hundred meter radius.

What am I doing here? Wait, what was I doing to even begin with?

My body was covered in bandages and not herbs: I'd been treated by a proper doctor. It was a good sign that I was treated but my equipment was nowhere to be found. The room had a table. Only a shirt and a note were there. I put on the shirt and read the note.

"I'm leaving this note in case you woke up during the night. I have all your stuff and now sleeping peacefully in my own home. The one you're currently in is the home of a friend of mine who taught me medicine. He's dead if you're wondering.

You don't have to do anything. Just stay put and I'll come back the next morning anyway. Don't do anything you'll regret, Daarc.

Denkaborkarere."

I still can't get used to his name.

But what does he mean by regret?

Why would I-

My head hurt, I grabbed my head tightly. It wouldn't stop throbbing. That's when my memories started to jog. When I finally remembered what had happened, tears welled up and I cried silently. It wasn't my fault- or so Brenda had said but I couldn't stop blaming myself. After all, I was the one who told her about traveling to the moon and stuff that made her want to come on this journey in the first place. Maybe that wasn't her only intention. But I was the trigger. And she sacrificed herself for me.

Damn!

I banged my hand on the wooden table. It creaked, my wounds throbbed. The outside was dark, but there were distant lights. They were probably houses. The one I was in however had only one light and that was probably downstairs. It took me a while to realize that I was actually up on the second floor.

I came outside of the room. The doors weren't locked.

Who keeps a house unlocked which doesn't have anyone but one unconscious injured man?

My cheeks were still wet. Lately I'd been crying a little too much. Was I turning soft? Or did my emotions run a bit too wild? Perhaps a little bit of both.

The main door was shut but not locked. I lost what little confidence I had in the old man's decisions. I didn't poke around the house and came outside.

The outside was much cooler and much darker but the gentle wind pressed against me and it made me realize I was still alive. The pain in every inch of my body did a good job of reminding as well.

The distant lights were houses. The closest one was at least three hundred meters away.

I wonder if they are still awake… probably not.

I was answering my own questions. Life was tough and I made it worse. If I hadn't- was the only question that was unanswered.

I walked around. Walking in the middle of the night wasn't something great but it was a habit I'd picked up in this world. I was in pain but it wasn't unbearable; I must have been under for more than a few days. My cheeks and eyes were dry enough to jog my head and think rationally.

I'm too weak and I need to accept that. I always have been. But that's no excuse. I have less than nine months. If I can't get stronger then it's all meaningless. Lots of people are going to die from here on out but I need to… NO! I want to get stronger: I have to! I know I can't prevent death and I know I'm powerless but I won't just sit around and watch another friend of mine get slaughtered in front of me. Never again!

Who knew I'd be giving myself a pep talk in the middle of the night out in the open.

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The old man was quite skilled but his skills also had their limit, his magic too. I learned it the hard way. I couldn't rely on him forever. But I couldn't even reach his level, so hoping to transcend him and acquire greater power was still implausible yet not impossible. I had to do something.

That night…. Something happened to me?

That night my body moved a lot on its own. I didn't know what I was going through and I didn't know what was happening either.

Can I do it again?

I'd even heard a voice that night but I couldn't really remember much of it. 

There was a tree nearby. Something was bothering me from the first day that I saw magic. The old man could imbue his sword and his body at the same time yet I couldn't. I couldn't even properly imbue my weapon let alone my body. Something was missing and I knew it. But what was that? Even the old man couldn't explain how he did it. But then again, he wasn't much of a teacher material either.

I focused. I went through the same maneuvers that I used when I covered my weapon in magic. I tried it on my hand. Nothing happened apart from it getting hot, more like warm.

Something is missing; but what? What did he do the first time?

That's right!

It wasn't that the old man was imbuing his body directly but he was imbuing his whole equipment, probably. Maybe that's why his head wasn't covered in wind.

But that wasn't good news. I needed to get strong and just imbuing my armor wasn't enough, but it was one step closer to my goal. I tried it on my shirt anyway. Nothing happened.

No one said this was going to be easy.

I kept at it.

I succeeded after trying for like half an hour or so. The shirt glowed and warm light emanated. The shirt's soft finish had turned hard and it felt more durable. I was glad but not impressed. I tried it on my body yet again, and again my hand only got warm and nothing more happened. There was something that I didn't know and I couldn't even begin to wonder what I was missing.

But then what was that back when I fought that damn god? Could it be?

"Hey! What are you doing?" A voice shouted from a distance.

It was the son of the old man. He had a torch in his hand.

What's he doing at this hour? Oh! Right. He's a guard!

"Just chilling around," I said.

He didn't see me cast magic, did he?

"Where's that light you had just a moment ago?"

"W-What light?" I almost stuttered.

Damn it! He saw…

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