Chapter 349: A Reason To Move Forward

When I first came to this world, I was powerless. 

I was hunted.

I was left for dead.

But I strived to live, and I was rescued. Maybe it was fate, maybe it was just a bit of good luck, or maybe just a plain coincidence, but, I lived. 

For me, a lot of people died. For me, a lot of innocents shed their blood: they died. And for me, a lot suffered. 

But even now, even though I regret a lot of my decisions, I wanted to live. 

I wanted to grow old with my friends, I wanted to live the rest of my life with Lianne in peace. I wanted to- live.

"But I guess that's impossible now."

I'd just woken up and the sun was already setting. I had no idea how long I was out and I didn't know if I was breathing or not- I couldn't tell. But I wanted to live. 

The boundless ocean was in front of me and seagulls were flying away- nostalgic. 

Behind me was a large forest and beneath me was sand- nothing more and nothing less. 

I didn't have a mirror but I could tell, I was mostly bones. My skin and muscles were still intact but if I didn't eat anything in the next few hours, I'd probably never be able to stand. And more importantly, I wouldn't look human anymore. 

Then again, undead didn't look like humans in the first place. 

And as I remembered, I didn't have a right arm anymore. It did sting but nothing unbearable. 

There was one sure way of securing food- that being cut off this tree: the very same tree that had given me shade and protected me so far. 

"But in the end, the world only takes more and more from those who give."

I chuckled, snorted, and used the shard of the mystic blade to cut the tree. 

Bam! A loud noise. I just killed a tree, never had I ever felt so strong an emotion towards trees. 

I guess now that I didn't have my own life, the value of life kind of clicked. 

But now, I had to crawl to the other end. Which I tried to but moving, was tough. And I was panting- so I was breathing at least. 

It took me ten minutes to cross a distance of three meters but I reached the green coconuts and used the shard to cut it. Even though the blade was broken and jagged, it still cut well. 

I'd made a promise to Trerortra about returning the sword but- it was impossible now. 

I guess, next time I met Trerortra, I'd just let him eat me for good this time, problem solved. 

I sliced open a coconut and drank the water- sour and salty. It didn't even have an ounce of sweetness. The flesh was also mild and sour.

And it only made me hungrier. 

Rustle!

Something was in the bushes. 

It was already night and I could see pretty well. My senses were high and I was fully alert. 

'A deer?' No, a boar. 

My sense of smell was off the chart. I could smell its blood even from here. 

The taste of its flesh: my mouth watered up.

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I couldn't think of anything other than food.

Food.

It was a boar.

It was a boar!

IT WAS A BOAR!

Before I even realized what I was doing, I was already on top of the boar and my body was littered with its blood. I was drinking the blood and eating the flesh- raw. It was delicious. 

And smelled wonderful.

I couldn't control myself- no, I didn't want to control myself. 

I didn't feel fear- I didn't feel disgusted and I certainly didn't hesitate to take a life. 'So, I'm more compassionate towards trees than other living things?'

I let out a snort. But I couldn't stop eating. I ate- I ate- I ate. And the night passed just like that. 

By the time I was completely finished- there weren't even bones left of the poor creature- I'd eaten everything apart from its guts. 

My body was back to normal and my skin was tight- almost like I was alive or something. 

I went over to the water and took a look at my face- totally normal apart from my eyes. My eyes were now like Lianne's. 'So, I'm not completely dead?'

And my arm had regrown as well. 'Well, this is different.' I looked around my body. I was actually slightly fairer too- and I looked healthier. Last night, while I was eating, I noticed about a dozen or so more animals but I didn't feel the same amount of blood lust or loss of control. 'So, that'll happen whenever I'm hungry?'

But now that the sun was rising- now what?

Come to think of it, even though I was out in the open, even though I slept here and stayed here for who knows how long, I wasn't quite damaged. Sunlight didn't have any effect on me. 'Are you there?'

"I am." The spirit manifested. 

"I'm assuming this was your doing?" And if I recall correctly, Biteria could use shadow magic to a degree that allowed her to be able to walk in sunlight too. "You protected me from the sunlight?"

"Yes, I've cast shadow magic over you, again and again, to keep the sunlight in check. I'd suggest walking through the shadows of the trees if you wish to travel in daytime."

I didn't really feel hate towards the spirit. It kind of looked like Biteria, after all-just with black hair and a translucent body. But- I did feel terribly angry whenever I looked at it and I remembered that I was the one who struck down Ve. 

But that had happened because of my own weakness. I couldn't just blame it on others. 

Damn! I punched a tree and it fell down. "I'm more powerful now?"

I didn't anticipate that I'd just punch a tree and it'd fall down like that. 'Better keep that in check.'

My rage almost disappeared. I was getting frequent mood swings. 

I felt very different and though I had sorrow and grief and all that, I was just putting everything on hold. The reason I was still going was for revenge and to make sure the world didn't end. This world was my current home and countless of my friends had given their life for this world and me. And countless of them were still living here. Just because I was dead, didn't mean I could forget that debt. And it certainly didn't mean I was going to forget this rage and not beat the crap out of that fucking bastard. 

I had to get my revenge and I had to protect this place.

No, that wasn't quite it. Even now, I felt fake, my emotions felt fake. 

So, in the end, I just wanted to find an answer and I wanted meaning in my life.

I was perhaps just- selfish.

But I was damn sure of one thing, I wanted revenge and I was going to get it no matter what.

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