Chapter 135: How to troll a hundred million demons

Time ticked down and no more demonic waves appeared. The Castrum Mortis moved back outside the gatehouse and there continued scanning the horizon. It seemed restless. A few gears within its hips made a worrying grinding sound as it moved, and Jessica ejected her Omni from the Somnia so that she could move to hover around its workings and fix whatever had gone wrong.

The Somnia stood still, head bowed, an alien and magnetically beautiful statue in the center of the bailey.

“So that was it?” asked Denzel. He leaned against the balcony’s stone railing, munching on a chunk of manna bread Jessica had manifested through her Omni. Everybody was chowing down, but James could tell that nobody went more than a few minutes without checking the count-down clock. A momentarily vacant expression would cross their face as they gazed out into the middle distance.

“I think this level wasn’t ready for us,” said Jason.

“Hell no it wasn’t!” Yadriel raised his hand for a hi-five. “We were too much motherfuckin’ sand for its little truck.”

“Right,” said Jason weakly, hi fiving Yadriel. “What I meant was that we brought way too much firepower to this knife fight. Which makes me wonder how a regular team would have fared. A group that would be leveling up from the first level, trying to keep their chin above water.”

Hakim pushed his spectacles up his nose. “We’d probably be seeing the same form of attrition that we saw during the Nemesis waves. People being cut down as only the strongest survived. If you’re correct - and I believe you are - then this level would have been truly desperate. Even with our enormous spiritual resources we felt a little pressure. Imagine if we were a couple of hundred levels lower.”

“Ouch,” winced Denzel.

“Not good,” agreed Olaf.

“Glad we ain’t playing this game straight, then.” Yadriel tore a chunk out of his bread and chewed with his mouth open.

Jessica’s Omni flew back over the wall, its silver sphere incongruous against the medieval architecture. “I’ve managed to restore the Castrum’s mechanical integrity. The armor plating isn’t comprehensive as it needs sufficient space between the plating for mobility. I’m worried about it’ll fare against future waves.”

“One way to find out,” said James. “We can always teleport back up if we need to get another one, right?”

“True. Anyway, I want to examine those glass chambers at the top of the towers. They’re fascinating. I wish we had a Structuralist with us.”

“Is it worth my teleporting one in?” asked James.

“Let me take a look first. It doesn’t feel responsible to bring some so low leveled down here without doing my due diligence first.”

“Sounds good,” said James. “When I saw the levels from outside the system, I saw them overlapped, remember?”

“Yes.”

“The uppermost layer - superimposed as it was -was this ruined mess. But the farther down I looked, or the deeper into it I looked, or whatever, the more ordered and figured out it became. And one of them had these, like…” James frowned, trying to disentangle the memory. “Blue channels of light? That wove around the building? I’m getting a headache just thinking about it, but it felt connected to the towers.”

“Hmm. Perhaps there is a way to restore the technology. I’ll take a look.” So saying, she soared up to the closest lens room.

“Talking about technology,” said Denzel. “Remember what I told you about those cogs and things? There’s more going on in the walls.”

“And in the basement levels,” said Serenity. “We saw huge pistons down there. It felt like we were ants that had dropped inside an old school watch. This -” And she waved at the castle. “This ain’t even the half of what’s going on here.”

“So - what does that mean?” James took a bite from his bread. “This castle is… a transformer?”

“Autobots roll out!” shouted Yadriel in delight. “Maybe this bitch up and becomes Optimus Prime, yo!”

“We already have an Optimus Prime,” said Jason with a wry smile. “Or did you miss our Castrum Mortis?”

James checked the countdown timer. “We got another three hours or so till the timer counts down. From what I saw of the lower levels, it’s just a series of castles just like this one. Either we move down to a version of this place, or stay here and it’s just survival rounds.”

“Tower defense,” said Yadriel approvingly. “One of my favorite games. Especially when we all got cheat codes.”

Miriam half-raised her hand.

“You don’t have to raise your hand,” said James.

“Oh. Right. Well, you described what you saw in the lower levels being versions of this castle, correct? And we know that each ‘round’ will feature tougher opponents coming at us? Perhaps we’re meant to upgrade the castle between rounds to ensure we survive what’s to come next? The lensrooms, the mechanical aspects, and so forth?”

James considered what he’d seen. The massive bands of blue light, the huge articulated walls that had risen, the movement of new defenders fighting off the foes.

“I think you’re right.” A twist of impatience wormed within him. “But you know what? Let’s try something else.”

“Oh, I love it when James get crazy,” said Denzel.

“Yeah, either billions die, or - what?” Yadriel met everyone’s stares in surprise. “I didn’t say it was like, his fault or anything.”

“Jelly? Fly out toward the horizon. If the upgradeable defenses are already here and we can activate them, then maybe the next round’s enemies are out there, waiting to be activated.”

“You got it, boss!” Jelly zipped away, a flash of gold that disappeared over the ruined outer buildings.

“He’s cute,” said Serenity. “Calling you ‘boss’ like I do. So much better than a pet. No poop.”

“At least yours has personality,” said Denzel. “Ours are like chatbots. Speak only when spoken to, answer questions usually with an ‘I don’t know’ and just offer passive ability buffs.”

Jason grinned lazily. “Next apocalypse you might want to grab the gloria first, then.”

“Right,” said Denzel. “I’ll hold onto that tip.”

Jessica’s Omni was floating around the lensroom, a gleaming sphere that occasionally let forth a curtain of green light that played over the chamber’s interior. The Castrum stood stoically, alert and focused on possible threats. Three hours to go.

“Anybody who wants can go check out the machines underground,” said James. “Stay close and keep an ear out. I’m going to wait for Jelly’s report on the wall.”

“I’m curious,” said Kerim. “Shall we, Denzel?”

“I will also come,” said Olaf. “I work in retro shop when younger, fix 80’s technology for nostalgia buyers.”

“Dude, it ain’t no 8-deck down there,” said Yadriel.

Olaf blinked. “What is an 8-deck?”

“You know. 80’s technology thing. Played… tapes.”

“Do you mean 8-bit?”

Yadriel frowned. “Who the fuck knows man, what I’m saying is - you know what? Have fun.”

James left them to figure it out and jogged across the bailey. Ash was everywhere, and it burst away from him in a small shockwave when he leaped atop the ruined buildings, landing atop the left gatehouse tower lightly.

His powers were still so new he kept forgetting just what he was capable of.

James stepped up to the parapet and stared out over the arid wasteland. Nothing. He narrowed his eyes and made up a fleeting golden glint approaching the horizon. Jelly. Flying forth like a speeding bullet.

James considered his palm. It looked as it always hand. But he had Corporal Perfection 125 and more physical attributes than the War Hound. James frowned, slowly closed his hand into a fist, and punched the merlon before him.

The rock cracked.

Not because he wasn’t strong enough to punch it apart, but because at the last an old human instinct had forced him to pull back.

Clenching his jaw James took a step back, inhaled, then moved forward and threw a tight round house, arm locked, all the power coming from the hips.

The merlon exploded.

His fist burst through it, shearing off the upper half and sending huge chunks of rock falling to the ground below.

“Hey James, you all right?” Jason had activated his Miracle to fly into the air and was watching him with curiosity.

“Yeah,” said James after a stilted second. “This rock pissed me off.”

“Stupid rock,” called back Jason.

James examined his knuckles. Not even scratched. No pain in his wrist. Nothing in his shoulder.

He was capable of far more than he knew. For a moment he’d embraced that wild power when he’d returned to New York, but since then he’d gradually been withdrawing back into old instincts, old habits. Approaching problems with ever more caution.

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Like now.

Waiting for the next assault. Planning out careful defenses. Worrying about being overrun.

James stared out at the horizon once more. No sign of Jelly now. He was too far away for telepathic communication. Would he come back?

He’d come back.

James slowly crouched and took up a chunk of granite the size of a tennis ball. He crushed it in one fist. Let the gravel and fragments fall from his fingers and took up another. Kept his eyes on the horizon all the while.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Till he saw Jelly speeding back, a fleck, a glint that slowly grew more definite.

Holy shit James they’re out there right now. Millions of them, forming a huge ring around the castle. An ocean of demons, banded by type, with ever more crazy looking ones toward the back, and I saw this one guy, he wasn’t huge or nothing, just human sized, but he was completely white, like not Caucasian white like humans get when they are descended from groups who evolved in northern climes to have a lack of melanin -

I know what Caucasian people are, Jelly.

He was floating in the back and he saw me and was amused by me and I felt him reach out with his mind and if I hadn’t hit the breaks and turned around he could have snagged me and had me for his lunch -

Calm down, buddy. You’re fine now. He was at the very back? Like the boss?

Yeah, but he wasn’t scary looking, just terrifying without needing horns and muscles or flames or anything. Looked like an average fourteen year old with white hair, white skin, completely white eyes, white clothing -

OK. Good work.

For a long moment James just crouched there, hands mindlessly crushing ever larger chunks of granite.

Millions upon millions of demons.

Had to be more than that.

If they ringed the horizon? Visibility wasn’t good here. Didn’t mean the horizon matched the one back home. Was this place even a sphere, a planet? Or was visibility limited by the quality of the air…?

Didn’t matter.

A huge ring encircled the castle, just out of sight. Hundreds of millions of demons were just waiting for their turn.

James pivoted and glanced up at Jessica. Her Omni had entered the lensroom and was now examining parts of it up close. Jason was experimenting with his flight, exploding into the equivalent of sprints through the air, blurring as he burst forth and then stopped on a dime.

Serenity was lounging on the Castrum’s foot, fingers interlaced behind her head, ankles crossed, having fished out a pair of aviators from somewhere as she napped.

James frowned. Thoughts swirled, coalesced, and he nodded.

“Jessica!” he called. Then: “Jason, summon those below.”

Jason paused in his antics, frowned in confusion, then nodded and dove into one of the huge holes.

James hopped off the tower, plummeted to the ground, landed neatly, and waited for everyone in the center of the ruined gate.

Jessica’s Omni flew down. “James?”

“New plan. I think you’re going to like it.”

“I’ve already learned a lot from the technology on display above. This place was clearly not meant to be examined by a level 500 Battle Engineer. First, I’ve detected evidence that each round was meant to last twenty-four hours, not six.”

“That right?” James raised both brows. “You sure?”

“Completely. All manner of resets and cycles are designed to work on twenty-four hour time frames. It’s all been changed to match the new six hour round, but it’s the equivalent of a coder changing the code but neglecting to edit the comments or deleting the now defunct parts.”

James considered this and then slowly grinned. “We got them on their heels.”

“It’s clear they didn’t think we needed twenty-four hours.”

“It’s more than that. They’re scrambling to fix their own fucking Pits. This place wasn’t designed to challenge nine Lords of the Increate. We’re cake walking their show and they’re pissed.”

Serenity strolled up. “Who’s pissed?”

“Whoever’s running this shit show.” All his emotions started to come roaring up, the anger, the grief, the horror, the trauma. Everything his arete had allowed him to process and displace and compartmentalize. James leaped, flew back up to the top of the tower, landed on the buckled flagstones and strode up to the parapet once more. Jelly came rushing in to circle him, but James trained his gaze on the roiling clouds that obscured the heavens.

“You guys mad?” James pitched his roar to carry, his tone thunderous. “You guys upset we’re kicking over your sandcastles? This not how it’s meant to go?”

“James?” called Serenity from below. “Maybe don’t piss off the demon overlords?”

“Nah, fuck ‘em,” said James. He felt like a fury elemental, in control but not wishing to restrain himself. “The poor bastards thought we’d be easy prey. Didn’t you?” He raised his voice again. “You thought we’d just follow your cues blindly, ey? That we’d march like sheep into the slaughter house? But now look at you. Cheating again and again to stay ahead of us. Moving the Pits up, then cutting the cycles down. You poor pathetic shits! You can kill us by the billions but you’re still falling over yourselves to keep ahead of us, to keep us challenged, to stop this from being a fucking laugh. Well it won’t work!”

James searched the heavens, waiting for a response. Nothing came.

“We’re just getting started, you pathetic absurdities. With your horns and masks, your wings and black fire. Fucking second-rate vaudevillian knock-off villains who can’t do better than kill the weak and pretend to be in control. Well, I hope you’re paying close attention, you shit stain lickers. I’m about to put on a real show.”

His words were swallowed by the vastness of the desert.

James swallowed his fury, turned, hopped back down, landed neatly as the others ran up from below.

“What’s going on?” asked Olaf. “James, what is wrong?”

“Only our approach. Listen, all of you. Gather up.”

The other seven and Jessica’s Omni drew in close.

“This is how this place is supposed to work. Every six hours another wave is loosed, tougher than the last. We’re meant to jump through hoops and fix this castle up so its defenses can help us withstand each successive assault. We’ll face another eight assaults I’m guessing, and then be allowed to actually move on down to the nineteenth level. Jelly just confirmed that there are hundreds of millions of demons encircling the castle just beyond the horizon, waiting for their roll call, with some dipshit white kid demon at the very back as the big boss.”

Yadriel blinked. “A dipshit white kid?”

“But we’re not going to play ball. Waste of time. We’re still too powerful for this place. And any time we find ourselves doing what’s expected of us we lose. So we’re going to take the initiative and go on the attack.”

Miriam half raised her hand again, but quickly caught herself and snatched it back down. “We’re going to attack hundreds of millions of demons?”

“Yeah. But first we’re going to fuck with them.”

“Ok,” said Serenity. “Tell me how we’re gonna troll a hundred million demons.”

“We each have, what, eight Host Angels left? That’s 72 of them. It takes them about thirty seconds to reform after being killed. I’m not going to bother with the math, but if we drop them off in front of this army, they’re going to be -”

“- pissed,” interjected Denzel.

“Growing exponentially,” said Kerim softly. “Of course. 288 of them at the end of the first minute. Over a thousand by the end of the second minute. Almost 5,000 by the end of the third. Almost 300,000 by the end of the fifth minute.”

“We have three hours before the next round,” said James. “There are hundreds of millions of demons, but we’ll soon have just as many Host Angels.”

“Fucking brilliant,” said Serenity. “But wait. At some point their numbers won’t matter, not when they reach demons that are just too tough for them.”

“That’s when we come in,” said James. “The angels will have removed the filler. We’ll -”

“- bring the killer,” cut in Denzel. “Oh, sorry. I’m just getting excited.”

“We can’t trust those little fucks to hustle out there,” said Yadriel. “We gotta drop them off front and center.”

“No problem. Let’s mount up. I want to get this show started.”

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