Chapter 13 It’s just that

The lollipop Lin Yujing gave Shen Juan was one that she had bought back with Little Marshmallow. At that time, she had bought a big pile and picked out one of every flavor. She even had several in her pocket right now. Lin Yujing took all of it out and left it at school, eating one whenever she had nothing to do at self-revision period.

Wang Yiyang was a very easygoing person. He had met Lin Yujing twice before and bumped into her again at school, so he had labeled her as a “very fated and lucky friend who looked very amiable”. His seat was just in front of Lin Yujing so for the entire afternoon, he treated the desk behind him as his own desk, turning around to chat with them for at least half of every class period.

In the end, Shen Juan lost the patience to continue hearing him chatter. He threw his pen down and expressionlessly looked at him. “Wang Yiyang, shut your mouth and get lost.”

Wang Yiyang pretended to zip his mouth and obediently turned back around without making another peep.

Appearing very obedient to his father’s words.

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Friday afternoon, when the weekend was approaching, everyone’s thoughts were a bit far off. The last class was self-revision period. At the start of school, before the subject teachers could even begin vie over the reign of self-revision classes, Lin Yujing woke up too early and felt tired, so after finishing two English papers, she laid her head down on the table, with the intention of taking a short nap.

In the end, her sleep lasted until the class bell rang. The classroom was rowdy for a while, the people of the class competing to be the first to run out.

Lin Yujing climbed up and sighed, even faintly hoping that this self-study period would go on until the end of time, or at least until school next Monday.

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Fbl alzwnvydvzu rynjle bla cyt yde rwv kd yzz vbl tkhld yppktdxldvp. Mwadkdt bla blye, pbl pyo bla elpj xyvl’p vyczl zssjkdt vbl pyxl yp yzoyup, bkp ryrlap olal wdvswnble, pkvvkdt sd vbl vyczl yde vbl rlapsd eked’v lhld vyjl vblx yoyu.

Nkd Zwfkdt oyp psxlsdl obs nswdvle bla elcvp yde tawetlp. Fbld Kwyd eke bla y qyhsa ps y pvknj sq zszzkrsr nswzed’v fwpv plahl yp vbl nsxrzlvl rynjytl sq nsxrldpyvksd. Nkd Zwfkdt rwv bla cyt ypkel yqvla qkzzkdt kv wr byzqoyu yde vssj wr y rld yde rwzzle Fbld Kwyd’p ryrlap, pollrkdt ynaspp vbl qkapv xwzvkrzl nbsknl iwlpvksd yde nkanzkdt vbl ydpola.

Fbl bye fwpv qkdkpble oakvkdt yde bla rld nyxl vs y rywpl.

Zsw elnkele vbkp uswaplzq, Nkd Zwfkdt.

Ebu yal usw vaukdt vs ynbklhl cu eskdt psxlsdl lzpl’p ryrlap?

Nkd Zwfkdt rwv bkp ryrlap cynj yde byrrldle vs nsxl ynaspp Nk Nkd yde vbl svblap clkdt vbl pvweldvp sd ewvu. Mbl taswr sq twup rzyule yaswde yde eked’v nzlyd wr rasrlazu. “Fll usw sd Ysdeyu, dlo nzyppxyvl.”

Nkd Zwfkdt oyhle bla byde yde eked’v vwad bla blye.

Nk Nkd oyvnble bla zlyhkdt qktwal yde pxynjle bkp zkrp. “Wsa psxl alypsd, R qllz zkjl swa dlo nzyppxyvl kp alyzzu nssz.”

“Definitely,” The boy beside him didn’t even lift up his head from his mobile phone, “If she wasn’t, how could she have dared to share tables with Shen Juan? She’s even managed to sit soundly and in one piece throughout the whole week.” The boy said before his screen turned black, indicating that his character had died.

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“Two days ago, there was someone from class 3 who asked if I had her phone number. I said I didn’t. Our new classmate is isolated from the world. I wanted to talk to her but she sits beside respected Buddha so who would fucking dare?” He raised his head and looked at Li Lin, “Sigh, you sit behind her; do you have her phone number?”

Li Lin looked at him expressionlessly, “Me? When Shen Juan’s there, I don’t even fucking dare speak up and even have to breathe softly. To be able to live a little longer is a blessing itself, do you think I can ignore him and ask for his desk mate’s number?”

–

Lin Yujing left school and walked forward, passing through a street, spotting Old Li’s car parked far away.

Old Li knew that she didn’t like having the car wait at the school entrance so he parked right here to wait for her. Lin Yujing’s footsteps paused for a second before she continued walking towards him.

“Hello Uncle Li.”

“Sigh, Miss Lin.”

The first time Lin Yujing met Old Li, he called her Second Young Miss, making Lin Yujing’s scalp turn numb. Old Li was scrupulous, knowing not to call her that ever again.

Old Li was a very stable driver and added together with Lin Yujing’s tiredness, she propped her head as she sat on the back, nodding her head off from the drowsiness. “Uncle Li, I’ve submitted my application to live in the dorms.”

Old Li was stunned, looking at her through the rearview mirror, “Live in the dorms?”

“Yea. It’s the string of dorms beside the school. I should be able to move in next week,” Lin Yujing said, “When the time comes, I’ll let you know when to stop sending me to school. Otherwise, it would take too much time to commute.”

Old Li smiled and nodded, “Sigh. Alright.” He then hesitated, “Have you told Mr. Meng?”

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Lin Yujing didn’t speak.

Old Li sighed.

He quite liked this little lady because she was no doubtedly a good child. She usually appeared obedient but in reality, her temper was crabby. If she had problems, she wouldn’t say them out and just mull over them in gloom all by herself.

She was just a little girl of 16 to 17 years old, at the peak of one’s youth where she should be laughing and crying boisterously.

Old Li had also been driving for the Fu Family for several decades and had never spoken out of turn. He tried to hold his words back but was unable to do so, saying, “You can’t just hide it. You have to talk with Mr. Meng. If you start talking to him, you can also resolve any conflicts that you have. Mr. Meng loves you, I mean, how could there be any parents in this world who don’t love their own children?”

Lin Yujing smiled and lightly said. “That’s right. How could there be any parents who don’t love their own children?”

–

By the time Lin Yujing arrived home, Fu Mingxiu was surprisingly not in his bedroom upstairs but sitting on the sofa playing on his phone.

If it were the usual, Lin Yujing would have greeted him, saying two sentences to express her good will. However, last night, she had unfortunately come across his conversation with Aunt Zhang. As such, now, she didn’t want to say anything. Asking him how he was faring was already her limit of showing politeness today.

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Yet, when Fu Mingxiu saw her arrive, he put down his phone and looked at her with an expression as though he wanted to say something.

Lin Yujing calmly looked at him.

After waiting a few seconds, just when she was about to turn and head back up the stairs, Fu Xiuming spoke up. “Monday.”

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Lin Yujing’s footsteps came to a pause.

“I’m going back to school on Monday, I’ll send you along the way.”

“….”

Lin Yujing almost thought she had transmigrated or that Fu Mingxiu was possessed. “What?”

Fu Mingxiu looked at her impatiently. “It’s because I have something to say to you so I struck up a conversation, don’t think that I–”

“Ok.” Lin Yujing responded, cutting him off and bowing. “Thank you brother, I’ll have to trouble you, brother. I’m going up.”

She really didn’t have any interest in what he was about to say nor did she have the patience.

Fu Mingxiu had only spoken to Lin Yujing twice this whole time and was once again rendered speechless. His words were stuck in his mouth unable to go up nor down, feeling very unbearable.

He scrunched his brows, glaring at the girl’s figure going up the stairs and after a long while, he sullenly swore, “Fuck….”

–

Lin Yujing didn’t have any plans for the weekend. She didn’t even know anyone in this city, so for two straight days, she stayed in her room in a daze. Aside from meal times where she had to go down and share an awkward meal with Fu Mingxiu, she would grow mushrooms in her room the rest of the time.

She always felt that if she continued on like this, she would develop autism.

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On Saturday night, Lin Yujing received a call from Lin Zhi.

After Miss Lin and Mr. Meng divorced, this was the first time Lin Yujing had received a call from her own mother because usually, the money would come on time in her card. And so, when she saw the name displayed on the screen, Lin Yujing was frozen in shock.

Lin Zhi acted the way she usually did, asking questions like a parent in a teacher-parent meeting. Lin Yujing couldn’t even hear any longing in her voice as her mother asked how her studies were going, how many marks she had in her previous exam, whether she had enough money to spend and the like.

“The money given to you is yours. Spend it all by yourself and don’t give a single cent to your father.” Lin Zhi said at the very end.

The loath she had for Meng Weiguo had reached the extreme that all the allowances and alimony was transferred straight into Lin Yujing’s card in fear that Meng Weiguo would touch her money.

Lin Yujing felt that to have such an ending from once being married was quite amusing. She nodded and remembering that the other couldn’t see her, she followed it up with a verbal acknowledgement. “Ok.”

After a few more template questions, the two people remained quiet and did not utter any words.

In the end, Lin Zhi broke the stiff atmosphere, her tone revealing a hint of rare softness. “Little Yu, it’s not that mom didn’t want to take you, it’s just that–”

“I know.” Lin Yujing quickly interrupted her, staring straight at the patterned wallpaper. “I know. I understand.”

Lin Yujing had always felt that her relationship with Lin Zhi was a bit better.

Compared to Meng Weiguo, she had always preferred Lin Zhi ever since she was young.

She didn’t know if this was the difference between mothers and father or something else but Meng Weiguo had never inquired about her well-being whereas Lin Zhi, even though she acted coldly, she at least cared for her.

She would also ask about her grades and her studies. Lin Yujing had never thought that Lin Zhi would abandon her.

If it wasn’t because mom didn’t want you, what else could it be?

It’s just that I have more important matters to settle, it’s just that I’m too busy, it’s just that there’s a lot of matters that rank higher in priority in my heart than you.

It was just because you’re not important, just because I don’t love you.

Lin Yujing didn’t want to know at all what the following words were going to be.

A “it was just that” was enough for her to understand everything.

****

The author has something to say:

Today, I dreamt that I went to the one dollar shop to buy things and bought two little hangers, spending 2 dollars.

Then, I took a chair and began to bargain with the shop owner, asking them to sell it to me for 50 cents. The shop owner was about to cry, saying it was impossible.

After I woke up, I was in a daze. How could I have acted like that? Wasn’t that being no different to a bandit?

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