Chapter 1: Activation 1.0

Black holes despite being one of the most catastrophically destructive naturally occurring phenomena in the universe, are laughably simple if you are given the chance to take a close look at one. Not that the human species or any biological creature could survive putting a microscope to a dent in space-time that holds an infinite amount of mass.

But, and this is theoretical of course, if you weren't human, If you were, say, an inorganic intelligent blob of bio-mechanical slime, comprised of an uncountable number of interlocking self-replicating nanobots, that can regenerate infinitely by some virtue of macro transdimensional fuckery, then you might be able to peek at the revolving anus of a big black hole.

Hi, as you've no doubt realized, I am that so-called slime, and yes I did get a very close look at the ebony black sphincter of a region of infinite mass.

But let's go back to before this event like any good fanfiction.

~~Wabbldey babbldey~~

Before I was a slime I was a human, and my name used to be something something animey, I can't really remember.

I was a very simple man? Woman? Hard to tell as the out-of-control 18-wheeler that somehow managed to crash through my apartment building's ceiling in the middle of the night and cave my skull in first before rendering the rest of my body a mushy crimson stain on the ground, did a lot more than just kill me in one of the messiest ways possible.

When I woke up next I was confused out of my mind as I didn't expect to open my eyes again, having just so vividly witnessed my own death, and I couldn't recall a lot of information that I knew should be there.

At least, that's what I assumed going off the fragments of memories that I still retained showing me that I did live up to my early 30s before I was flattened like a bug.

I can't recall my own name, the names, and faces of my family if I had any, most parts of my adult life that entailed interacting with other people, most of my life as a child that wasn't about learning what and what not to do, and last but certainly not least, the knowledge of whether I was a virgin or not.

That last one hurt a bit more than the last, for reasons I cannot explain.

It's probably because this new body of mine will never be able to partake in sexual intercourse being not human in the slightest, and I doubt anyone sane will find this body of mine attractive, and if they do I doubt they're the type of person I want to be around.

So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Well, actually I'm still stuck in the large vat of bubbling liquid I woke up in, but you get my point. I will never know if I was a virgin or not, and that fact will haunt me for the rest of my immortal life if I'm basing it on my own schematics.

But back to the whole, "Slime" thing. Yeah, bio-mechanical hardware is no joke. I can't say I'm a half-human half-machine hybrid, (Because there are only various strains of prehistoric animal DNA held within my Storage bots) if anything I can say that genetically, I have more in common with the black light virus of all things, than any living or mechanical being to ever exist.

And I don't even know what the fuck a blacklight is.

In addition to that, since there is a miniaturized fusion reactor inside each nanobot acting as its power source, I can remain functionally immortal for as long as even one of my bots remains active.

So yeah, the wet dream of most species; immortality, I was just handed on a silver platter, and the only thing I lost was...well, everything I guess.

And you wanna know the worst part about all this? It's that I can exactly feel bad about what I lost because I don't know what I even had to lose.

Was I a rich person who held the envy of millions? Was I a model who showed off my magnificent form for entertainment? Was I a bottom feeder? A bum who lived off the streets, begging for the dirty scraps of those who had more than me? Did I have a girlfriend with whom to laugh and cry? Did I have tons of friends with who I could joke around with? Was I lonely? I don't know, and to be honest, I don't think I'll ever know.

A small mercy I suppose.

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I can't exactly be sad if I don't know what to be sad about right?

Despite not being physically capable, I managed to convey the feeling of weariness by slumping down, letting my body relax and unravel slightly as I sunk further and further down in the vat of what my bots analyzed to be a type of growth serum that speeds up the reproduction of cells.

This whole thing is a confusing mess, and I don't know how to feel about it. Happy that I got a second chance at life for free where others would slaughter millions? Sad that I can't remember my life and as a result have no idea what to do next? Content that I am alive and have a chance to regain the happiness that I might have once had?

I have no fucking clue.

A few bubbles were allowed to flow out of my form and rose to the surface where they popped audibly, alerting the nearby scientists to my "activation".

Right, I also forgot to mention that I am a super-secret government project made to cure "cancer". No clue how a slime from literally any fantasy game was supposed to cure that particular genetic defect, why they decided this form was a good base to build off of, when they created this miracle drug I'm bathing in, or why they even needed a mechanical monstrosity like me to cure cancer in the first place, but it's not like I paid for it, so I really don't need to give a shit.

Though the name could use some work.

"Sir! The Meta is giving off abnormally high-energy readings! We think it's awake!"

I bet you're wondering, what's wrong with that name? It's not that bad. It's better than something shit like Ron Weasly, or Gaylord. Well, news flash, Meta is an acronym, and it stands for...

"What do you mean the Mechanically Engineered Tentacle Apparatus is awake?"

Yeah.

I hollowed out the center of my body, popping open a very small hole on the outside of my form, letting some of the growth liquid pool in to take up the open space, then I commanded the nanobots to rearrange the molecular structure of each liquid bond one at a time and within milliseconds, the growth fluid was turned into air, while the excess was used as fuel to create some more nanobots.

Another thing I can do that is complete bullshit, perks of having my nanobots be only slightly bigger than subatomic particles is that I can fuck around with the molecular structure of anything within their immediate range.

It's basically alchemy, but better. The downside, is I have to know the subject's elemental composition, upside is that I passed chemistry, or at least remember getting a C- in the class, it's good enough for basic things like this.

I let the air pocket within me carry my body up through the vat until I breached the surface. My body was around the size of a basketball and blended in with the lime green liquid so they didn't notice my ascent nor the fact that My "Head" poked out of the green liquid so I could gaze a the gallery of lab coat-wearing nerds who were rushing around the stage room in a panic.

I wonder who put a stick up their assess.

"Shut it down now before it gets out of control!"

Que?

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