This was where the high came to a low. A rock bottom low. Standing at the top of the world and suddenly falling from grace, one could barely imagine the pain.
Lina knew this was where all the fun ended. Everything else from here would be a chaotic ruin. Every pair of eyes in Ritan would turn towards her with criticism. She could already hear Mila's voice in her head. 'I hope the thrill was worth the punishment.'
Lina once witnessed Mila being slapped in the face by their mother who had discovered the affair with the gardener. She recalled Mila's outburst, declaring if family was more important than love, then why was no one in their family genuinely happy.
"I appreciate the heads up," Lina murmured to Belle. She could feel her heart skip a beat, fear clutching at her chest.
Lina knew it was time to face the music. If there was one thing she was certain of, a beating would be the lightest punishment. Once, Lina's mother threatened to kill Mila's lover, and the next day, he was found in a ditch battered and bruised. Despite that, the gardener kept his job because his family had always worked for the Yangs and a single angry Madam wasn't enough to get rid of them.
"He's a military Commander in a time where war looms over us," Belle whispered to Lina. "He will survive whatever the Yangs throw at him, but will you?"
"I will."
"Lina…" Belle trailed off, lowering her gaze to the marks on her good friend's neck. She let out a small sigh.
"Your family will hurt you beyond repair, perhaps even immobilize your legs, but Altan will still love you, you know that right?" Belle asked. "He's a useless Young Master, but he does—"
"Please don't tell me he loves me," Lina wryly said. "It's just wrong. All my life, I have viewed him as an older brother and now, I have to get married to him. Will he still love a whore?"
"You're not—"
"I am," Lina said. "I have a fiance and slept with another man on the same night the wedding was announced. But you know what? I don't regret it for some reason. Being with Kaden feels so right… I don't know how to describe it."
"Perhaps you two are fated lovers," Belle teased. "You once told me your chest feels comfortable with Altan. Has that changed?"
"Altan has my childhood, but Kaden has my heart," Lina realized. "Was that selfish?"
"Is it selfish you have two eligible bachelors begging for your attention? Of course," Belle snorted. "But alas, I must go. You should hurry and get dressed before Kaden comes back and keeps you here for longer. There's a pen and paper in the vanity right there."
Belle jutted her chin to the corner of the room where a desk faced the wall. She gave Lina a pointed look, urging her not to disobey.
Lina knew she had to leave without Kaden knowing. She knew he was obsessive the minute he clutched her throat, lightly and tenderly, even though he could've squeezed her to death. She let out a small sigh and reluctantly nodded her head.
Belle departed the room, her footsteps light and airy. Lina always strived for elegance, holding her head high and her shoulders squared. She always set the example that her older sister, Mila could not.
"The punishment will be worth the thrill," Lina whispered to herself when she began to scribble the note, fixed her appearance, and got dressed in record time.
On the note, she wrote,
'Do not look for me. I will be well. Take care, my dear Commander.
Signed,
Your dove.'
Lina hugged the folded white bedsheet with a red stain on it, hiding the spot against her chest. She took a final glance at the note and forced a smile, pressing a kiss to the parchment, her lipstick staining the paper.
Lina knew it was time for her to take responsibility for what she had done. Looking back to this moment, Lina wished she knew what would've happened after this note. She wished her Dear Commander would not become a Dear Tyrant.
And in the end, what followed after this affair wasn't just the blood on the white bedsheets, it would be a river of despair.
- - - - -
"Get out."
Lina had taken a car back home. She didn't care that her hair was ruffled or that she returned in different clothes from last night. She didn't care that Altan blanched at her words, Mila's jaws dropped open in disbelief, or that her parents' infuriated faces greeted her first thing in the morning.
"I want to speak to my grandfather."
"Get out!" her father furiously roared, pointing a finger towards the door.
Lina remained firm in her decision. She was certain there were marks all over her neck. Regardless of the high-collared shirt Kaden bought for her, nothing could hide the actions from last night. But her attitude masked it.
"You will not kick my granddaughter out of the house I bought for you," Lawrence finally spoke from the top of the staircase. With his cane, he stifled down the steps, his eyes narrowing on her messy appearance.
"I'll do it for you," Lawrence said in a somber voice, as if she gravely disappointed him beyond repair. He couldn't fathom what had become of his pristine and perfect little granddaughter. He had raised her since birth. He had given her everything she ever wanted in life. Was it so bad to sell her off to the Medeors, after indulging in the Yang's money?
This wench.
"I'm not going to marry Altan, grandfather," Lina said, turning on her heels to face him.
Lina flinched when Lawrence tossed the cane in her direction. She glanced at the spot that the cane had struck. The porcelain tiles were indented, tiny shards flying from the harsh impact. The throw could've broken bones, but he intentionally missed.
"I will not fall for the trap you laid for me and Mila," Lina coldly told him. "I will not have Mila be a honeypot for your men and mission."
"You are to do as I say," Lawrence seethed, his voice as cold as ice. He barely spoke above a whisper, for he would yell down the house.
"I'm no longer a virgin."
"BLASPHEMY!" Lawrence roared, storming up to her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her to the ground. Then, he squatted, yanked her by the collar and slapped her right across the face.
PAK!
Lina's cheek stung from the impact. She tasted blood in her mouth. Her face burned with humiliation. Hair flying to the side, she shakily tucked the strands back.
"I will take Lina as my wife as she is!" Altan shouted, rushing to her side. He grabbed her, hugging her to his body.
Lina was limp as a doll. No one in her entire family had ever struck her before. She was under her grandfather's protection. Now, the very man that defended her was attacking her. She supposed she deserved it.
"I will still love Lina," Altan declared, his arms wrapping around her shoulders. "She was raped. I know it. Those barbaric military men! Tell your grandfather the truth, Lina. Tell him you were forced."
Ah. A chance for redemption.
What broke Lina's heart wasn't his manipulation. It was his undying trust in her. Altan was a good man. Even if he changed his grandfather's mind, even though he meddled in her life, Lina saw the good in a man that loved her without qualms. She realized that all along, whilst she thought of him as a brother, he saw her as a woman. Her tongue was bitter with disgust, but she wondered how he felt.
Altan loved her for twenty-one years, and Lina shattered it in three words.
"It was consensual."
Lina felt Altan's grip loosen on her body. She lowered her gaze, not wanting to see his expression. He staggered to his feet, leaving her discarded on the ground. Finally, a second passed and she raised her head to look up at her grandfather.
Lawrence heaved out a loud breath, his face turning red. She saw his blood pressure rise before her own eyes. He clutched his chest, glancing at her aghast by the truth.
"And this is my proof," Lina said, showing him the white bedsheet, with blood blotches.
PAK!
Lina's head flew to the side, this time, spitting out blood. She shakily glanced at him, revealing a pained smile.
"I tried to be what you wanted me to be, grandfather, but I am only human," Lina said.
"Get this whore out of my sight!" Lawrence roared, reaching his hand in the air. He was searching for his cane, his fingers itching to beat her into a pulp.
Sensing this, Altan quickly grabbed Lina to her feet. Lina's eyes watered, knowing her grandfather no longer loved her. As she was dragged up the stairs, she could only look over her shoulder.
Lawrence was furiously speaking to her father, who was mute. Her papa's face was pale, from both rage and panic.
Lina's chest ached at the hatred in their eyes.
"I want her locked up!" Lawrence demanded. "No food, no water, and no outside contact."
Hah.
It was that same punishment again. Lina didn't mind. In her youth, she had mice as friends from the times she was punished for her disobedience. At some point, she even made peace with the bugs in the Room of Consequences.
Lawrence glared up the staircase.
"And that man she slept with, I want him brought to our Headquarters. Have the bastard stripped, castrated, beaten, tortured, and then throw his body to the pigs!" Lawrence shouted at his son, pointing a hand to the door.
"We will mobilize both Medeor and Yang men. I will have a word with the Minister of National Defense, his Boss," Lina's father responded.
"NO!" Lina shouted, fleeing down the steps, but Altan grabbed her. She struggled in his arms, reaching for her grandfather.
Lina's eyes watered for the first time. She thought she could protect Kaden. She thought he would be untouchable. But Lina didn't know, with the Medeor's support, came the help of the Minister of National Defense. Even if Kaden was ranked the highest in his squadron, the Minister was the ultimate Boss.
"Lina, Lina, come," Altan warned her, forcing her up the staircase. She screamed and cried out, clawing over his shoulders. Eventually, he hauled her over his back and dashed up the staircase before Lawrence had a chance to shatter her bones.
"Don't touch him!" Lina screeched, attempting to escape Altan's grip, but it was impossible.
The last thing that Lina saw was Lawrence's hollow stare. This was for your own good. Lina felt her heart crumble to pieces. She knew Kaden would never recover from this. The one who was suffering consequences was not her, it was Kaden. And it would be much worse.
In the end, the thrill was not worth the punishment.