Chapter 131: CH 129.2

Chapter 129 Part 2 – The Will

Days and nights in the ICU, like a revolving lantern, flashed before RenDong’s eyes. Countless emotions rolled in his chest, and they rose to his mouth, and finally there was only one sentence left to say:

“I missed you so much.”

Lian Qiao gently stroked his hair. After a long time, a crying “en” word came out.

RenDong raised his head slightly and said, “I want to kiss you but I don’t have the strength.”

Lian Qiao immediately held his face and kissed him.

The corners of RenDong’s mouth twitched slightly. After kissing enough, he said, “I want to hug you but I don’t have the strength.”

Lian Qiao rolled around on the bed with him in his arms.

After rolling around enough, RenDong said: “I want to go…” {Chinese sentence is also the same as saying “I want to be on”…}

Lian Qiao suddenly turned pale and covered his mouth: “No, you don’t want it! If you think about it any more, the text will get locked!” {Lian Qiao thinks that RenDong is about to say “I want to on top of you”/have sex… and yes author is breaking fourth wall again.}

RenDong: “…I just want to go to the bathroom.”

Lian Qiao: “…”

RenDong: “Where did you think I wanted to go?”

Lian Qiao: “…” Why did you get better at driving after lying down for two months! {Driving is Chinese euphemism for having sex.}

After that, of course, the two did not drive, but went to the bathroom together in harmony and integrity and then began to watch TV in harmony and integrity.

After staying in the ICU for a long time, their ears were usually filled with the beeps of various monitors and the sounds of doctors and nurses resuscitating. At this time, RenDong was finally able to watch TV and even the commercials felt particularly good-looking.

After watching it with gusto for a while, RenDong suddenly remembered something, turned his head and asked, “By the way, how did you get out in the end?”

“Ah?” Lian Qiao was peeling the medicine pills for RenDong and didn’t respond initially when he heard the words, ” What?”

“It’s…that…” RenDong felt that his brain was not bright after a long sleep, and after thinking for a while, he remembered the name of the copy, “… Temple of the Five Internal Organs.”

“Oh…. oh.” Lian Qiao suddenly realized, “That ah. I killed the gentleman and came out.”

RenDong opened his mouth and wanted to ask for details but his heart suddenly twitched, thinking of something more important.

“You should have used my kidney at that time,” RenDong said, “because I was in a coma and wouldn’t be in pain. Besides, at that time, you weren’t sure if you could open the door and leave immediately after sacrificing your kidney. What if there was any other danger? At that time, you are the only fighting force in our team, you shouldn’t…”

Lian Qiao interrupted him: “I understand the reasoning, but I can’t do it.” 

RenDong was taken aback.

Lian Qiao lowered his head and peeled the oranges. He repeated calmly: “I can’t do it.”

RenDong sighed: “I know you feel bad for me. But you also know that as soon as the instance is released, I will…”

Lian Qiao asked: “Then what if it was you?”

RenDong was stunned again.     

Lian Qiao put the orange in his mouth and said with a smile, “If it was you who was awake at the time, would you dig out my kidney?”

It was only now that he suddenly realized – yes, if he switched sides, if he was the one who needed to make a choice at the time, he would also have dug out his kidney without hesitation.

Injuring Lian Qiao is far more painful than his own injury. He is willing to sacrifice everything for Lian Qiao.

But on the other hand, when Lian Qiao sacrificed for him, he accused Lian Qiao of being unreasonable?

What is he doing…

enDong’s heart was filled with self-blame, so he could only sigh and whisper, “I’m sorry.”

Lian Qiao suddenly smiled bitterly: “What are you apologizing for? It’s obviously me who should apologize.

RenDong was very confused and showed a puzzled look full of question marks. Lian Qiao said, “If it weren’t for me messing around, how could we have fallen from the seventh floor? In the end, it’s all my fault…”

So he was talking about this. RenDong smiled and said, “If you didn’t mention it, I would have forgotten.”

Lian Qiao sighed and hugged him. The man in his arms was as thin as a skeleton, which made his heart ache.

“I don’t know how to compensate you… When you were in the ICU, I felt that it wouldn’t be a pity if I died 10,000 times but what’s the use of blaming myself, I can’t bear hardships for you, I can’t atone for my sins… really… a kidney is nothing. If it can be exchanged for your safety, I can dig out everything for you…”

He was repenting. He was repenting for his reckless impulse but the big mistake had been made  and apology and remorse were useless.

RenDong’s injuries in reality cannot be fully healed and he can only be nursed slowly. He will be left with sequelae and he will suffer from illness for the rest of his life.

At this moment, Xu RenDong suddenly had a very strange thought in his heart: he thought, from now on, Lian Qiao will be bound by guilt. Lian Qiao will always be kind to him and never leave him.

…But is this really good?

Guilt is a form of self-torture, he knows it well. He also caused Lian Qiao to die tragically because of his own mistakes, because of his doubt, willfulness and ignorance. At that time, he was so guilty that he could not wait to die.

So he understood Lian Qiao’s current mood very well.

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However, unlike himself, Lian Qiao will not be reborn, he has no chance to make up for his faults, he will always bear this self-blame and become a prisoner willingly.

This wasn’t fair.

This was not the love that Xu RenDong wanted.

So he sighed, rubbed Lian Qiao’s hair, and said, “Let’s not mention this again. Let’s not blame ourselves, okay?”

Lian Qiao’s eyes turned red: “But…”

Xu RenDong thought for a while. After thinking about it, he asked: “Do you still feel sorry for me and want to be punished?”

Lian Qiao nodded.

Xu RenDong: “Then stretch out your hand.”

Lian Qiao didn’t even think about it and stretched out his hand obediently.

Xu RenDong grabbed his hand and took a bite on the back of his hand. Lian Qiao bit his lip in pain but went against his physical instinct and pushed his hand in further, as if hoping that he would bite harder.

Xu RenDong loosened his teeth, saw the deep teeth marks on the back of Lian Qiao’s hand and said with a smile: “Okay, the penalty has been passed. Let’s turn the page.”

Lian Qiao then remembered what RenDong said to him when he first entered the elevator :

“Don’t apologize. When you get home, I will punish you properly.”

In fact, RenDong never blamed him. Even the so-called punishment just made him feel better.

The emotions that had been suppressed in his heart these days finally broke through the barrier and rushed out. Lian Qiao threw himself into RenDong’s arms and burst into tears.

Lian Qiao’s cry made RenDong laugh.

It was like a child. RenDong hugged him, bowed his head and kissed gently on top of his head.

After an unknown amount of time, Lian Qiao finally cried enough but still clung to his arms. He was clingy and crooked, unwilling to let go. In fact, RenDong was not willing to let him go either. They haven’t been close to him for so many days and RenDong also missed him terribly.

It wasn’t until RenDong’s back became sore and he had to shift his body gently. Lian Qiao immediately noticed his exhaustion, so he took a cushion and let him lie down.

RenDong smiled and said, “I’m not so weak. By the way—” He remembered the unfinished topic before, “Is the gentleman dead?”

When the gentleman was mentioned, Lian Qiao became angry and gritted his teeth: “Don’t worry, he is already dead. He can’t be any more dead!”

RenDong sighed, “I always thought he wouldn’t be able to die.”

Lian Qiao: “This time is different. This time I saw his death on TV.”

“TV?” RenDong was quite surprised. Few of the people who died in the instances in the past were featured on TV. The dungeon usually arranges a very natural way of death for the deceased in reality. For example, if Xu RenDong and Lian Qiao failed to clear the customs this time, they would fall from the building and die. Of course, it seems to outsiders that they committed lovers suicide together. They were also homosexuals. Actually if they wanted to be on TV, they probably could.

Lian Qiao took out his mobile phone: “I’ll show you.”

He clicked on a video, which was a news article from two months ago, which happened to be the day they fell from the building.

An elementary school teacher was found hanging in the teacher’s apartment, the news said. The door to the room was locked and the only key was in the teacher’s pocket. Along with the key was a suicide note, which was identified as the teacher’s handwriting. This shows that the teacher had indeed committed suicide.

The more RenDong looked at it, the more furious his heart became.

Judging from the photos given by the TV station, there is no doubt that the teacher who committed suicide was indeed the gentleman. But… how could he kill himself?

Why would he kill himself?

Lian Qiao affirmed: “It is indeed suicide. I also thought it was suspicious, so I asked an acquaintance to go to the police to inquire about the news. It’s confirmed. There is no doubt that it was suicide and the surveillance has proved that it was the gentleman who bought the rope and went inby himself. The house was locked. Unless there are ghosts in the real world, there is no second possibility.” 

RenDong was silent for a moment: “I guessed that he was a teacher but he is actually an elementary school teacher… Are the children he teaches okay?”

Lian Qiao smiled: “They’re okay. In fact, he is very cowardly in reality. I have read the suicide note that was in his pocket and it is full of complaints. He was bullied by the parents of the students, suppressed by the leaders of the school and was beaten down by the society. That’s why he wanted to commit suicide. The writing is good and the people who see it will be so sad for him that they will want to cry.”

RenDong felt a surge of anger and scolded: “What’s sad about it!? If you’re shriveled up inside, is there a reason to take revenge on society?”

Lian Qiao shrugged: “It seems that he wanted to pull some people down with him before he died. After this incident was exposed, the media and the Internet scolded those parents and leaders, causing everyone to lose their jobs. It was a big mess. “

RenDong: “Then why didn’t you take the suicide note?”

Lian Qiao sighed: “It’s useless. This suicide note was brought into the instance from reality. I took it from the instance but it returned to his pocket as soon as he got out of the elevator. He was obviously prepared. If he doesn’t die, he will take revenge on the society in the copy, and if he dies, he will take revenge on the society in reality. Anyway, his mind is dark and he wants to take revenge on society no matter what.” He just wished he could beat the gentleman to death a few more times.

The gentleman’s affair didn’t affect RenDong for long. At night, Lian Qiao’s parents came back. RenDong’s attention was instantly diverted.

“Lian…” Facing Lian Qiao’s parents, RenDong stammered for a long time. Several titles were on the tip of his tongue, and finally he could only shout twice, “Director Lian, Director Qiao.” 

The two chief directors also felt a little embarrassed. A patient who they gave just personally discharged during the day was waiting for them in their home at night. They also felt that their identities could not be changed for a while and they did not know how to speak to him.

Lian Qiao quietly squeezed RenDong’s hand under the dining table and said encouragingly: “Don’t be a stranger, you can change the way you call them.”

Lian Qiao’s original intention was to resolve the embarrassment, but he never expected, when the three people present heard this, it was like being struck by lightning.

RenDong: “…” What should I call then…. father-in-law and mother-in-law or….

Lian Qiao’s mother: “…” Am I a mother-in-law or a mother-in-law? {So the MIL on the woman’s side and the MIL on the father’s side is called differently in Chinese.}

Lian Qiao’s dad: “…” I don’t even want to know if my son is the top or the bottom, okay?!

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