Chapter 16: CH 16

Xu Juan was used to pulling all-nighters and it was as if his body clock was half a world away from Pei Yu’s. While Pei Yu was asleep, he was counting stars; One star, two stars… he counted until two in the morning before, thank god, he finally got sleepy.

This was truly a catastrophic night. 

In his dream, Xu Juan had a fight with Pei Yu. He had wanted to mercilessly avenge what he had missed out on, but unfortunately, the him in his dream was still soft-hearted when confronting Pei Yu’s face. He couldn’t go through with it. Instead, it was Pei Yu who pushed him to the ground and gave him a good beating.

Xu Juan couldn’t remember exactly how he was beaten up, but when he opened his eyes, he realized that he, very untimely, had morning wood.

His phone showed that it was 9:40 am.

Pei Yu got up without fail at 6:30 am every day, so now he was the only one left in bed. He didn’t know if Pei Yu was at home. Was he in the living room? In the kitchen? The study? Or had he gone out? 

Xu Juan’s gaze returned to the tightly-shut bedroom door. He stared at it for a few seconds, making sure that no one would enter before letting his guard down and helping himself to resolve his problem.

—— This was too embarrassing for him.

He was clearly such an accomplished playboy, claimed to be the master when it came to love affairs. A single call from him would be enough to summon a hundred beauties willing to sleep with him, and yet here he was, huddled in Pei Yu’s tiny apartment of barely 80 square metres, having to jerk himself off!

Xu Juan recalled last night’s events, and the fire in his heart leapt higher.

He finished in pain, then tidied up a little, but when he was about to get off the bed, he realized that he had no idea where he had tossed his clothes off to.

“……” Xu Juan took a few seconds to calm himself, then called out the door, “Pei Yu.”

There was movement in the living room; Pei Yu was home. But he only heard the sound of footsteps, and they weren’t headed in the direction of the bedroom —— Pei Yu was deliberately ignoring him.

How could he have such a temper? 

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Feigning a couple of coughs, Xu Juan dragged his voice out and called out again: “Pei Yu——”

Pei Yu didn’t say a thing.

Xu Juan knew he could hear him: “Pei Yu, what are you doing? Where are my clothes? Where have you taken my clothes to?” 

“……”

The sound of footsteps approached, slowly walking over to the entrance. The door opened with a click.

Pei Yu dressed very meticulously even at home, in a white shirt and suit pants. It was indeed very dashing, but when Xu Juan thought about it, he realized he had never seen the other wear anything else. Could it be that he was the person of legends, the sort who owned ten identical sets of clothes and when he changed, no one would be able to tell?

But that face was cold as ice, saying to him: “The clothes are in the washing machine. Are you heading out?” 

“Not going out, but I can’t remain bared like this, can I? It’s unsightly.” Xu Juan had already tossed all the unpleasantries from the previous night to the back of his mind. Since it was a lovers’ quarrel, then one party would have to yield first. He took the initiative to say, “Are you still mad, Pei Yu? Last night was my fault.”

Pei Yu leaned against the doorframe and unexpectedly asked: “How was it your fault?”

“……” Xu Juan was speechless for a moment. His apology wasn’t sincere, he had assumed he would be able to brush it off with a couple of words, but under Pei Yu’s probing, he had no choice but to muster up his courage and say, “I shouldn’t have neglected you when the mood was so good. I’ve wronged you.”

The icy look on Pei Yu’s face didn’t warm the slightest, he continued to gaze coldly at him. 

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Xu Juan was also staring at Pei Yu, thinking: He looks even better than usual when he’s being all cold like this, how could this make sense? Is it because a thorned rose is more captivating than a lily?

He was filled with flowery praise and adoration, but he merely appreciated in silence and didn’t act on it.

Pei Yu’s sharp eyes found him spacing out, and his expression became worse: “Xu Juan, you don’t actually like me at all, do you? You only like my outer appearance? You wanted to sleep with me last night and I agreed, but you went back on it halfway. You dislike me for being unskilled, don’t you? But you clearly knew that I’m inexperienced, are you unwilling to be even a little patient with me? What exactly do you like about me, you like that my face looks good? Once you’ve realized that all I have going for me is my skin, that all I am is someone stupid and old-fashioned, someone below your expectations, you’re no longer enthusiastic?”

“……”

Xu Juan was dumbfounded: “No, no. That’s not it.”

Pei Yu said: “It is.” 

Xu Juan: “……”

There they were, one at the door and the other on the bed, eyes meeting across the space with the atmosphere around them blistering hot. All of a sudden, Xu Juan found himself a little nervous.

It was uncertain where this nervousness came from, perhaps it was due to Pei Yu’s unwavering stare. That gaze made him appear furious, but really, it was to mask the hurt that he was unwilling to show on the surface. Those words had already been very clearly articulated; His actions had hurt Pei Yu’s self-esteem, hurt his feelings, even, and now he wanted his consolation.

That he wanted his consolation was already proof enough that he really liked him. 

If he didn’t like him this much, then after being so provoked last night, he wouldn’t be here right now. The other would have chased him out the door without a word.

“You’re overthinking, it’s really not like that.” Xu Juan said, “How could I dislike you? I did that because… uh, you know how when two men are in bed, there’s a top and a bottom, right? Actually, many people enjoy being the bottom, because they think it feels good. But I’ve only ever been a top, Pei Yu, do you get me?”

Being an “outsider”, Pei Yu wasn’t familiar with the terms he had used. Blankly, he said: “So it was because you wanted to top, but I had trapped you beneath me, and that upset you?”

Xu Juan: “……” 

Putting it that way wasn’t wrong, per se, but why did it sound so funny coming from Pei Yu?

Xu Juan couldn’t help it, sprawling face-down onto the quilt and bursting into mad laughter.

He couldn’t stop, and Pei Yu got annoyed again, rushing over to the side of the bed, disgruntled. He shoved him harder into the mattress, bearing down on top of him firmly: “I’ll keep you underneath me, what can you do about it? You don’t like being on the bottom? I’ll make sure you’re the one at the bottom. If you want to push me away, why don’t you give it a try, hm?”

“Stop it, hey.” Xu Juan’s lips were bitten, but he still couldn’t stop laughing. 

Pei Yu’s anger had dissipated, and he suddenly kissed him hard.

“You’re not allowed to do that again next time.” Pei Yu said, “I don’t know how dating works, how anything works, so you’re not allowed to bully me.”

“Oh, but what if I insist on bullying you?”

“Then I won’t give you attention ever again.” Pei Yu said, “I don’t like being angry, or arguing with others. If you want to be with me, then be good. I like taking things seriously, dating and work are the same and both require sincerity. I know I don’t have much, whatever I can give you, you already own, you don’t lack anything. But I… I will devote myself to treating you well, so treat me better too, Xu Juan.” 

“Why are you saying these all of a sudden?” Xu Juan put his arms around Pei Yu’s neck, winding his fingers together over his back.

There was a faint warmth emanating from Pei Yu’s cheeks: “Because I think I’ve fallen for you. I gave it some thought and I don’t think it’s anything I shouldn’t admit, neither do I need to. You won’t make fun of me, will you?”

“Of course not, I barely have enough time to adore you.”

Xu Juan’s heart quivered. He thought, a person as lovable as Pei Yu, it would be pretty nice if they could stay together for a longer time. He had never tried dating someone long-term, but perhaps this was a good time to try.

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