After Kat watched Meng down a third glass of wine, she decided to start offering suggestions, "What about defecting to the Mountain shaker sect?"
"You're just saying that because it would make Bodeir safer aren't you?" returned Meng.
Kat shrugged, "Eh, not really? I mean, yes now that you mention it that would be nice… but it's for two main reasons. One, is that you could play on the fact that Bodeir Sr is a parent as well, and the fact I ruined your cover and endangered your kids might be a good angle to try… the other reason is that I don't actually know the names of any other sects,"
"Did you not hear the announcer? I know for a fact you watched fights with people from other sect," responded Meng.
Kat made a 'so-so' gesture, "Technically? I mean, I'm sure I remember them because I have a perfect memory but they weren't important enough to be easily recalled,"
"Right… I'm going to just assume that's a demon thing. As for your suggestion… it's not the worst thing ever. Bodeir Sr is a strong cultivator in his own right, and joining with him might not be the worst idea ever… but he is in an alliance with The Holy Icy Wind Sect and that complicates matters from a political standpoint. I'm not supposed to be in charge, and if, or more likely WHEN it comes out that I was running things for years, he'd face a lot of problems from the other sects.
"That, and I'd almost certainly be forced to take one, or perhaps even multiple restrictions of some kind. From crippling my cultivation, making me a mortal and 'not worth worrying about' to allowing an explosive array to be engraved into my soul… or perhaps what they'd consider the most lenient, and I the cruellest, they'd take my children on as 'apprentices'" Meng spat. "Which would make them hostages in all but name. It also might not work for Lian…
"Because I never formally adopted her, if they can pressure her real parents, they can remove her from my authority pretty easily. Here I am sect master, and they wouldn't bother trying that sort of shit… but when it becomes a complicated political issue those sharks would take every advantage they can get,"
"Why do you seem to have such a hatred for politics. I mean I DO understand, but aren't you running a sect here?" asked Kat.
Meng sighed, "I turned out to be really talented. That's all there was to it. The Holy Icy Wind sect was responsible for the death of my family, and I was shoved into one of their orphanages where I nearly starved to death, this was quite some time ago by the way, I AM old, I'm not afraid to admit it. Anyway, one day a cultivator showed up pretending to be a grieving father, and he want around testing us for potential.
"Well, that's what I assume happened, the starvation really causes issues for my memories at the time. It was a few centuries ago now, and I'm just basing my guess about what they did later. I wasn't ever sent on recruiting missions because I showed a 'terrible predilection' towards doting on any young child put in my proximity after I turned seventeen…
"Anyway, so I got tested and found to have a useful affinity for spy work, and rather strong talent for cultivation, as far as they could tell anyway, so they bundled me up for training camp and I never looked back. It's probably the best thing to ever happen to me, even if I do somewhat hate them these days. That's more because my bosses are now idiots then any real anger about my situation.
"Anyway AGAIN. Sorry, apparently I ramble a bit when I'm drunk. I haven't really had the chance. To risky at base and certainly to risky to drink on the job. Those bottles you saw me drink have been in my ring for two centuries at least," Kat winced at how quickly Meng drunk bottles that were so old, "Anyway a third time! Politics. Turns out, I'm quite strong, and I managed to learn an ancient technique for illusions that let me bind an illusion to an artifact.
"It made the illusion impossible to see through for anyone below Rank 6, which is considered impossibly powerful for a Rank 4 like myself. It has a few restrictions, but nothing too bad. It made me the obvious choice for this job… and thus, despite my dislike of politics, I find myself embroiled in it. God being a spy and assassin was so much easier,"
"Really?" asked Kat, "I would have thought you'd be more adverse to being ordered around and killing things,"
Meng sighed and shook her head, "Kat, it seems like you're once again confusing me for a better person than I am by virtue of the wonderful daughter I raised. Kat, I am a MONSTER. I have assassinated more innocent men and women then I have lived years on this earth. I have killed enough cultivators to put me in the top 10 disasters in the continent if they could all be linked back to me.
"I was, and perhaps I still am, considered one of the best operatives my organisation has ever produced. I feel no guilt for killing people, even innocents. I am a broken woman Kat. I can love my family sure, and I'd kill for them… but that means nothing coming from me in truth. I'd kill someone for basically nothing as long as it wasn't too much effort. It would be like asking me to climb a mountain. Time consuming, but ultimately nothing truly difficult…
"I cannot say if I was born this way, or if the training I underwent as a small girl, and teenager destroyed what empathy I have for other human beings. It was only my love for children, and desire for a family of my own that remained. Perhaps it is my luck that children were almost never targeted by my organisation, and my skillset was better for taking out high priority targets stealthily.
"I never had to contend with the moral quandary of crossing that one boundary, killing children." Kat's gaze softened, "Oh don't give me that look. My organisation has the death of thousands of children on its hands and I still willingly work for them. It might not have been MY job to kill kids, but I'm sure it was someone's. I'm not leaving because I've suddenly realised I'm working for the bad guys Kat, I just finally have the one thing I've always wanted more than anything else, and I'm too selfish to give it up,"
Kat's lips stretched into a thin line. *I'm really not sure what you're doing here Meng. It's almost like you're trying to get me to hate you… and I'm sorry but I just can't. Perhaps I should be horrified, and I don't know if it's because I don't really understand the sheer scale of killing you must have done, if it's just a demon thing, if it's because I don't really believe you on some level, or if it really is just because you're Bing's mother.. but I don't seem to have a problem with it. Does that make ME a bad person? Certainly not as bad a self-proclaimed assassin, but perhaps my priorities are out of order.*
Kat did know it would be different if Meng regularly had to assassinate children. Her own years at the orphanage had made a caretaker of children, and her strength as a demon made her a defender of children, if she wasn't counted as one before. In the end though, it didn't really matter because Meng didn't partake in that part of her organisation. Perhaps, if she was not Bing's mother, Kat would have held the simple fact she was part of such a group against her… but Meng was too… too much of an individual presence in Kat's mind, it was hard to blame her for actions of a group when Kat knew she didn't participate in those.
Kat let out a long breath of air as she collapsed back into the beanbag she'd been surprised, head lolling over the back and forcing her to look at the ceiling and behind her somewhat, removing Meng from view entirely. It was the most vulnerable position Kat had put herself in so far… and idea time for Meng to strike if that was what she desired. The angle Kat was sitting in was horrendous, even with super speed, Meng could dash over and stab her heart before she was on her feet again. Kat knew this. Meng knew this… probably. She was pretty drunk after all.
Kat pulled herself forward and Meng was drinking a fourth bottle of wine. No sign she'd even considered going for Kat's throat while it was exposed. Perhaps she had thought about it, perhaps not… but whatever the case, that she did nothing was the truth. Kat just didn't know what to do about it. Not now, any more than she did when she arrived. *Maybe I should contact Lily? I might need her advice on this one…*